Results 701 to 725 of 1585
Thread: UT/WY Missing Persons Case>WILD
-
09-22-2021, 05:10 PM #701
The way I see it a 911 call led them to pull them over. It was this one or another one other that wasn't released. But we have this one that involved her reportedly getting slapped. Why do they immediately determine that she was the primary aggressor? In her own property no less. Maybe MV can illuminate what I'm missing.
j'ai des grands instants de lucididididididididi
-
09-22-2021, 05:10 PM #702
Been steering clear of this thread for a number of reasons but i have to ask, are you pulling a montucky just asking questions or do you not have experience with friends in unhealthy relationships?
It's not always something you hear about directly, but sometimes there are things you notice or people in your community comment on it. I'm not talking about necessarily violent relationships, sometimes it's just an unhealthy dynamic. Which is to be distinguished from not approving of a partner or life choices. And since it's on a spectrum is easy to have a fixed snapshot in your mind as things change. I dunno relationships are complicated, I was threatened with a gun during a breakup once. It had taken me a while to see the damage she carried from past relationships and I wasn't in a place to be a sufficiently helpful partner in working through things. I elected to get out but she got really attached in not a very long time, the threat of losing me led to the threatening from her. I could see how if she got so attached to me in that time that it would be easy for her to end up finding partners who took advantage of that, and it had been a bit of a recurring cycle from what she told me.
As a note I do think 'gaslighting' has been thrown around too much recently. It's different from lying.
-
09-22-2021, 05:19 PM #703
I don't think you're missing anything other than he had the scars and she says he never hit her. The cops kept asking "Did he hit you, though? It’s okay if you’re saying you hit him, and I understand if he hit you, but we want to know the truth, if he actually hit you." ... "Did he slap your face or what?" "Is it Brian. Is he usually patient with you?"
The cops go on to discuss how they don't think either is telling the entire truth but there's not much they can do in that situation other than press charges against her:
"And I’m sure it was a little of both and usually the truth is somewhere between. He’s probably trying not to say that he hit her because he probably doesn’t want her charged with assault, domestic assault. He probably would rather say she pulled the wheel than hit him. You know what I mean?"
"So unfortunately for her, just because he’s bigger and stronger even if he’s not willing to press charges, we can’t treat this differently than if it was a male on female violence. And we’re going to have to charge her and we can do a citation if there’s some arrangement that they could be made to separate them. "
-
09-22-2021, 05:24 PM #704Registered User
- Join Date
- Oct 2018
- Posts
- 527
The main reason is the guy had non-defensive wounds on him, she didn't.
One of the 911 callers said that they were not sure if the male was hitting or pushing the female away defensively.
Officers saw him run into the curb while being pulled over. She claimed it was because she hit him, he claimed it was because she grabbed the wheel. Either of those scenarios is more likely than the guy hits a curb on his own with flashers on behind him.
-
09-22-2021, 05:32 PM #705
soooooo nobody has anything regarding misogynistic posts? Carry on then.....
What we have here is an intelligence failure. You may be familiar with staring directly at that when shaving. .
-Ottime
One man can only push so many boulders up hills at one time.
-BMillsSkier
-
09-22-2021, 05:36 PM #706
To some extent I'm just asking a question, but the motivation for it is that I do know people who have been victimized and I'd like to better understand the failure to do something that seems really clear from the outside. Obviously it's complicated and we're not going to solve it, but it'd be nice to understand it a little better.
We all know there are other sources, but I think (in addition to being super great at bitching at each other) people who have any knowledge of the heuristic traps that kill on mountains have a unique take on the challenge of thinking rationally in emotional situations. Thanks for offering yours.
-
09-22-2021, 05:50 PM #707
Right on. I figured you were being serious about wanting to know, but on the first reading I didn't know if this was something you had an opinion on and were asking leading questions. I did think your comment linking heuristic traps and comorbidities was a surprisingly thought provoking one that got lost in the shit of the other thread. I think it could be worth expanding on that idea a little bit in a month or three. Possibly in the slide zone for minimal thread cunting.
I'm not sure my take is valuable, but it's something I did and can post about without feeling like I'm airing someone else's relationship story without permission.
-
09-22-2021, 05:57 PM #708Banned
- Join Date
- Jun 2021
- Posts
- 221
-
09-22-2021, 05:58 PM #709
So in what way could this go any differently?
Specifically, what could someone (other than one of the two parties to the relationship) have done to change this outcome?
Ive tried to speak up before to a friend about her unhealthy relationship and instead I caught shit for it. At that point, nothing I could do but walk away.
Relationships and mental health are two things that 1) are very personal, 2) are not very transparent to outside parties, and 3) throw logic and reason out the fucking window, but they’re the key drivers in these situations. So how does one help someone who doesn’t want to (or doesn’t think they want to) be helped
None of the people involved are going along with it because they think it’s ok or because the tone on an Internet forum isn’t supportive enough. The abusers are quite aware of what they’re doing (hence cutting people out of the victim’s life, etc) and the victims as you said, are caught up in the cycle of abuse and unable to get out on their own. So how do external parties help break the cycle?
-
09-22-2021, 06:00 PM #710
We're not going to solve every social crisis on the planet... Did they find the scumbag yet?
Go that way really REALLY fast. If something gets in your way, TURN!
-
09-22-2021, 06:00 PM #711What we have here is an intelligence failure. You may be familiar with staring directly at that when shaving. .
-Ottime
One man can only push so many boulders up hills at one time.
-BMillsSkier
-
09-22-2021, 06:10 PM #712
Bottom line is that only two people really know what happened, speculation is all anyone has to post.
One is dead and the other is missing and presumed to be dead.
Be prepared to never know what happened.
Dr Phil likely spent an hour preaching and speculating.
Somehow that sounds familiar.www.apriliaforum.com
"If the road You followed brought you to this,of what use was the road"?
"I have no idea what I am talking about but would be happy to share my biased opinions as fact on the matter. "
Ottime
-
09-22-2021, 06:10 PM #713Banned
- Join Date
- Jun 2021
- Posts
- 221
Honestly, I dont know.
Find a way to make parents healthy and emotionally intelligent so they dont abuse their kids or their partner in front of their kids, its a cycle. That means remedies for things that cause excessive stress on parents...
Support emotional intelligence type education in schools.
Believe people when they say they have been hurt.
Be kind. Be available. Stop tearing people down.
Allow for emotions. Nobody is crazy or "hysterical" for having strong feelings.
I honestly don't know, but its a society problem.
Listen?
-
09-22-2021, 06:13 PM #714Banned
- Join Date
- Jun 2021
- Posts
- 221
-
09-22-2021, 06:16 PM #715
The irony of the turbo-woke, everything-is-misogyny, women’s-studies dept. at the University types, is that they make themselves surly and disagreeable, then blame the negative energy they get back on misogyny.
I’m getting a misogyny rap here, but really the only class of women I dislike as a group are the minority of them who make a lifestyle out of living in that cycle of being defensive and accusatory, men recoiling from the defensive and accusatory tone, then blaming the recoil on misogyny, reinforcing further defensive accusatory tacts. The vast majority of women who have found ways to coexist gracefully or at least without inherent persistent beef with the male half of the population, I find mostly wonderful.
Here’s my cycle: I have tons of women I like and love, and I’m cool with women in general. I get told by you that I’m a misogynist, which I immediately know to be bullshit. I don’t like people who bullshit me, and especially people who try to bullshit me about me, so now I don’t like you. You think me not liking you is proof of misogyny because for some reason you focus more on your gender group identity than on your individual interactions.
-
09-22-2021, 06:24 PM #716
My mom had an asshole boyfriend when I was 12-16. He was emotionally abusive to both of us. He was a small man and even smaller emotionally. I look back and wonder why I put up with all that I did. When your in it, things look different. He hit me twice. My mom sided with him. I internalized it. The second time I was old enough and big enough that I could have cleaned his clock. I did nothing. I was frozen. I was in in disbelief partially. And I think I didn't want to make trouble for my mom. Which is silly because he was a total freeloader.
And I had a hard time accepting that that's how I reacted. On top of that the adults who should have cared did nothing when I told them. When I was 15 I finally figured out that I didn't have to put up with his shit and moved in with my dad. Moving out put things in motion for my mom to get rid of that loser. I was no longer in the middle and mom had to deal with it or change it. She changed it. Unfortunately that shit left scars. I went through some pretty self-destructive years. Living with my dad wasn't that helpful either. And one learns things that aren't helpful when living in an abusive environment at a time that one is supposed to be maturing. I'm not as patient with those around me as I should be. Ripple affects.
-
09-22-2021, 06:24 PM #717
We live in Helena, and my kids attend the high school known as the "redneck" high school. That is, most kids who live out in the valley and outside of town go to this school, along with a lot of the "townie" kids. I grew up in suburban Minneapolis, but both my parents grew up in rural North Dakota near the Canadian border.
-
09-22-2021, 06:35 PM #718What we have here is an intelligence failure. You may be familiar with staring directly at that when shaving. .
-Ottime
One man can only push so many boulders up hills at one time.
-BMillsSkier
-
09-22-2021, 06:45 PM #719click here
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- valley of the heart's delight
- Posts
- 2,474
^ A nutshell summary of the problem that bears repeating
Salve's longer post (i can't find at the moment) is a illustrative example of some abusive relationships, and can apply to anyone in one.
I deleted an attempt at the misogyny question, not sure I can do it justice. Some of us want to learn, so I hope someone can write it well. Until then, listen to your GFs, sisters, daughters, wives. You'll slowly catch on to inequalities that should not exist.
-
09-22-2021, 06:51 PM #720Banned
- Join Date
- Jun 2021
- Posts
- 221
I honestly believe you don't hate women. I've said my piece about your posts, as have some others so I'm going to leave that in the past.
I just want to say I don't hate you and I have a lot of empathy for you. I honestly think you truly believe what you are saying and I hope you can heal and expand your ability to emphasize some day because you are a victim of the things I get so angry about.
-
09-22-2021, 06:52 PM #721
A common stat that is used (so I assume it has basis in fact) is that on average, it takes a victim 7 times to leave before they leave for good. So when people here say "she should have just left", they are demonstrating their naivete and lack of understand about what a DV situation is like. Another thing is that the most dangerous time for the victim in a DV relationship is when they actually leave. That may very well be why this woman was found dead, she may have tried to leave.
So yeah, sure, on the one hand saying "she should have left" is right. But placing blame on her for what happened, either directly or impliedly, because she didn't leave when she "had the chance", shows a lack of understanding of the complex problem that DV is.
I am no expert, but I used to work in a field that required DV training and the ability identify possible DV situations and victims. And have interviewed and talked with many DV victims. And if you're inclined to think that these victims are dumb, not strong, etc, you'd be wrong. Two of my coworkers at that job, two super smart, super strong women, were both survivors of domestic violence relationships. It was a serious eye opener for me when I found that out.
If you truly are curious, there are a lot of resources out there for basic education, they're not hard to find."fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
"She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin
"everybody's got their hooks into you, fuck em....forge on motherfuckers, drag all those bitches across the goal line with you." - (not so) ill-advised strategy
-
09-22-2021, 06:54 PM #722
-
09-22-2021, 06:56 PM #723
Hold on dude. I have a wife and twin teenage daughters. I am well aware of gender inequality, misogyny, SM, and the like…..The issue here is we have in all likely hood a banned poster, posting under an alias, leveling baseless accusations in what is otherwise a contemporaneous, important issue. That’s it. If the Kraken has evidence of gross misogyny posted in this thread, I’m all eyes. If not, then let’s all move on and hope they catch the fucker that killed this young woman. Carry on.
What we have here is an intelligence failure. You may be familiar with staring directly at that when shaving. .
-Ottime
One man can only push so many boulders up hills at one time.
-BMillsSkier
-
09-22-2021, 08:28 PM #724Registered User
- Join Date
- Nov 2003
- Posts
- 462
When you speak to them do you use a part of their anatomy as a pejorative, kooky?
Re-read your own posts in this thread.
-
09-22-2021, 08:32 PM #725
Bookmarks