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  1. #1176
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Your Mom's House
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    7,275
    Quote Originally Posted by Cruiser View Post
    A wise person once said, anything is a dildo of you're brave enough
    My nurse friend that works in an ER advises that this sort of bravery is good for her job security.

  2. #1177
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    50 miles E of Paradise
    Posts
    12,052
    Quote Originally Posted by Core Shot View Post
    SMACKASS GAP???

    Wtf dude. There’s a lifetime of stories in there
    My favorite is when Dad finally got to go (at age 10) with his oldest brother and bro's BIL to make beverage deliveries. Which consisted of humping hills with a frame pack full of mason jars to a roadhouse outside Andrews NC.

    My uncle's BIL always wore bib overalls with a belt. Always kept his hands inside the bibs and always smiled.

    When they got to the roadhouse, the owner decided the price would decline to $.25/jar. BIL explained that $.50/jar was the agreed-upon price, same as everybody else pays, and that was fair.

    Owner pulled out a little pistol from under his desk, pointed it at BIL and said "This says it's $.25/jar"
    Dad thought "Ohhhh Shit..."
    BIL pulled out a .45 Buntline Special from his bibs, pointed it in owner's face, cocked it, smiled and said "Jus put yar'n in the barrel a mine."
    Dad thought "So this is how I'm gonna die..."

    After a brief standoff, they got their $0.50/jar (so like $30 all told)

    Dad never asked to make deliveries again...

  3. #1178
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    50 miles E of Paradise
    Posts
    12,052
    Quote Originally Posted by Cruiser View Post
    A wise person once said, anything is a dildo of you're brave enough
    From the L.A. Times Aug 2001:

    "In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski, and his homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.

    "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon,' my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him." At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next:

    "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out of the tubing, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball. Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract."

    No word on the gerbil. Guessing he didn't survive...

  4. #1179
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    Posts
    293
    Quote Originally Posted by BmillsSkier View Post
    coed smokeshow who noodles
    https://www.instagram.com/hannahbarron96/?hl=en
    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgl...-lhPA9_jofiZwQ

    In a different life...

  5. #1180
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    14,144
    Quote Originally Posted by TBS View Post
    From the L.A. Times Aug 2001:

    "In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski, and his homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.

    "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon,' my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him." At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next:

    "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out of the tubing, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball. Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract."

    No word on the gerbil. Guessing he didn't survive...
    Geez. The only thing missing is the part where the gerbil cannon sends the gerbil through an open window into high tension wires, causing them to arc and start a fire which burns thru the Park City historical district.
    "timberridge is terminally vapid" -- a fortune cookie in Yueyang

  6. #1181
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Big Sky/Moonlight Basin
    Posts
    11,648
    More maggots are posting about their fishing technique in this thread than the total number of maggots who have ever posted in the Fishing Forum.

    Just saying.....

    Click image for larger version. 

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    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    "Zee damn fat skis are ruining zee piste !" -Oscar Schevlin

    "Hike up your skirt and grow a dick you fucking crybaby" -what Bunion said to Harry at the top of The Headwaters

  7. #1182
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    14,144
    It's sorta become the shoebox under the bed thread for many interests. Until this dude is caught.
    "timberridge is terminally vapid" -- a fortune cookie in Yueyang

  8. #1183
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Dystopia
    Posts
    14,487
    He’s probably fishing with a cane pole.

    Until he’s caught we need to discuss the merits of fishing reels.
    “I’m a subhuman jizz monkey”

    Thx mods. It’s an awesome signature.

  9. #1184
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    14,144
    Do you even need a pole to fish?
    "timberridge is terminally vapid" -- a fortune cookie in Yueyang

  10. #1185
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    just outside the bubble
    Posts
    1,294
    Click image for larger version. 

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    It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them. –Ernest Hemingway

  11. #1186
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    General Sherman's Favorite City
    Posts
    26,453
    Quote Originally Posted by Timberridge View Post
    Geez. The only thing missing is the part where the gerbil cannon sends the gerbil through an open window into high tension wires, causing them to arc and start a fire which burns thru the Park City historical district.
    If “Raggot” doesn’t show up as a new screen name this week I’m going to be disappointed.
    I still call it The Jake.

  12. #1187
    Join Date
    Jun 2020
    Location
    in a freezer in Italy
    Posts
    3,717
    Quote Originally Posted by TBS View Post
    No word on the gerbil. Guessing he didn't survive...
    He just hasn't stopped laughing yet.

  13. #1188
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    base of the Bush
    Posts
    13,654
    www.apriliaforum.com

    "If the road You followed brought you to this,of what use was the road"?

    "I have no idea what I am talking about but would be happy to share my biased opinions as fact on the matter. "
    Ottime

  14. #1189
    Join Date
    Jun 2021
    Posts
    221
    I got a fish tattoo

  15. #1190
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    15,769
    Quote Originally Posted by Salvelinusconfluentus View Post
    I got a fish tattoo
    No one gives a shit.
    Is it radix panax notoginseng? - splat

  16. #1191
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    The Bull City
    Posts
    6,307
    Quote Originally Posted by Vt-Freeheel View Post
    I almost posted that as a joke too..
    Go that way really REALLY fast. If something gets in your way, TURN!

  17. #1192
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    The Bull City
    Posts
    6,307
    When I was about 12 my grandfather sent me a bunch of his old Orvis gear. But, I was living in central MN at the time and I wasn't in to fly fishing at all then.. No trout there. Did mess with some of it on a cross country vacation, stopped for a few days in Glorietta NM. Caught plenty of brown trout there. No clue what happened to the gear after I went to college though.
    Go that way really REALLY fast. If something gets in your way, TURN!

  18. #1193
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    base of the Bush
    Posts
    13,654
    I don't live in New Hampshire so riding with Joe is out.

    Click image for larger version. 

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    www.apriliaforum.com

    "If the road You followed brought you to this,of what use was the road"?

    "I have no idea what I am talking about but would be happy to share my biased opinions as fact on the matter. "
    Ottime

  19. #1194
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Location
    It's Full of Stars....
    Posts
    4,378
    Quote Originally Posted by MakersTeleMark View Post
    No one gives a shit.
    Lol
    What we have here is an intelligence failure. You may be familiar with staring directly at that when shaving. .
    -Ottime
    One man can only push so many boulders up hills at one time.
    -BMillsSkier

  20. #1195
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Dystopia
    Posts
    14,487
    Quote Originally Posted by Timberridge View Post
    Do you even need a pole to fish?
    Nope.

    There’s a whole thread on cat fisting hot chicks.

  21. #1196
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    So. VT
    Posts
    2,587
    Quote Originally Posted by Core Shot View Post
    Nope.

    There’s a whole thread on cat fisting hot chicks.
    Tell me more...

  22. #1197
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    cow hampshire
    Posts
    6,549
    It's difficult to keep up with this thread, but did we solve the case yet?

  23. #1198
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    50 miles E of Paradise
    Posts
    12,052
    No, that's why its wandering from fishing to hillbilly living and back again.

    BTW, Tenkara always reminds me of rhythmic gynmastics where people run around with ribbons on a stick

  24. #1199
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    PNW
    Posts
    6,468
    ,Name:  a134ac2722473f733110df6c62efd3f5985bc21855bc78cc6d636ec600246f96_1.jpeg
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    life ain't guaranteed, love your people while you can

  25. #1200
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    1,636
    Quote Originally Posted by jackstraw View Post
    It's difficult to keep up with this thread, but did we solve the case yet?
    He's in Rutland

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