Collegge

**stealurface831** · 08-29-2021, 05:20 PM

Originally Posted by MontuckyFried

You're about to learn the best part of roommates. Passive agressively screwing with them. Next time he passes out drunk, feel free to go full sharpie tuxedo on him:

for him to get drunk, that would require a) leaving the dorm room for some period of time to imbibe or procure or b) communication with another human being that is not online to procure for him and deliver to our room.
from what i have seen thus far, both of these things are entirely unpossible.

**Buzzworthy** · 08-29-2021, 05:30 PM

Originally Posted by XXX-er

I'm not checking 15 pages

besides I don't need to

some JONG did it for me

Then why are you here? Reading the vast craziness of those that reside in this corner of the interwebz is the main point.

**Danno** · 08-29-2021, 05:59 PM

Originally Posted by Buzzworthy

Then why are you here? Reading the vast craziness of those that reside in this corner of the interwebz is the main point.

I thought rabid uninformed commenting was the main point?

**EWG** · 08-29-2021, 06:07 PM

Originally Posted by Danno

Too bad thread titles can't be edited.

I’m much more comfortable now. Order has been restored.

**Harry** · 08-29-2021, 06:09 PM

Originally Posted by XXX-er

I'm not checking 15 pages

besides I don't need to

some JONG did it for me

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**XXX-er** · 08-29-2021, 06:12 PM

Originally Posted by Buzzworthy

Then why are you here? Reading the vast craziness of those that reside in this corner of the interwebz is the main point.

I was waiting for the degreaser to work on my chain so I can run wax

I mentioned it several times and nobody has told me I'm wrong

WTF eh

**JimmyCarter** · 08-29-2021, 06:44 PM

Originally Posted by stealurface831

I have tried unsuccessfully for the last two hours to take a mid-afternoon nap but every five minutes, the fucking gamer starts yelling at someone through his headset. I mean, literally yelling. I told him to shut the fuck up and he just did not respond. I swear to god, if he stays up until fucking 4am again playing fucking rocket league, i am taking my mattress and living with the guys next door.

We need to come up with some workable solutions here.
1) next time he leaves the room set up a Bitcoin mining operation on his computer. Will keep it from running well for gaming, and make you money. Pm stalefish for details

2) Masturbate while he’s in the room, loudly. Whether or not you try to make eye contact with him is a decision I’ll leave up to you.

3) frequently replay the scene from Full Metal Jacket where they hold down and beat Private Pyle while he was sleeping, while muttering things like “that should work”

**JayPowHound** · 08-29-2021, 06:53 PM

Originally Posted by stealurface831

I have tried unsuccessfully for the last two hours to take a mid-afternoon nap but every five minutes, the fucking gamer starts yelling at someone through his headset. I mean, literally yelling. I told him to shut the fuck up and he just did not respond. I swear to god, if he stays up until fucking 4am again playing fucking rocket league, i am taking my mattress and living with the guys next door.

My 6 and 8 year olds play Rocket League.

Sorry they're keeping you up... it's almost their bed time.

**JayPowHound** · 08-29-2021, 06:58 PM

That said, if the neighbor from AK will take you as a random floor roommate now you might be setting some pretty good precedent for future trips up north. I say drag that mattress and see how it goes.

**Buzzworthy** · 08-29-2021, 07:03 PM

Meeting my roommate freshman year as I roll in with my mountain bike….
him: you get high?
Me: yep
Him: let’s ride, just rolled one.

There was no internet. Computers were only at the lab. I’m very thankful for that.

**JayPowHound** · 08-29-2021, 07:07 PM

My freshman roommate skipped orientation and move-in to go to a disco biscuits show. I moved in on schedule and went to orientation. Met his mom (no pics, did not bang) Talk about awkward. Ended up cool.

**BmillsSkier** · 08-29-2021, 07:15 PM

SUF:

I’m not sure how helpful this may be because well I’m younger than most other people here but still older than you by a long shot. So here it goes. Freshman year I got moved in with the carbon copy, literally no joke, of Darius Rucker. Hootie and the Blowfish Darius Rucker not modern country singer Darius Rucker, Hootie with a video game addiction. Dude was great. Dad apparently painted a bunch of high dollar installations during the black power movement and my buddy was there to put those dollars to waste.

Anyway not Hootie liked to drink a lot and stay up until all hours of the night, So I shipped him off to the room next-door with the other idiots like to stay up late all night and not smoke pot and not drink beer and not mess with girls so long story short; I got my own dorm room.

Not Darius Rucker failed out of school second quarter but excelled at video games which I’m not sure how that helps him in later in life but having my own “apartment” was priceless. Do that.

**stealurface831** · 08-29-2021, 07:23 PM

Originally Posted by BmillsSkier

SUF:

I’m not sure how helpful this may be because well I’m younger than most other people here but still older than you by a long shot. So here it goes. Freshman year I got moved in with the carbon copy, literally no joke, of Darius Rucker. Hootie and the Blowfish Darius Rucker not modern country singer Darius Rucker, Hootie with a video game addiction. Dude was great. Dad apparently painted a bunch of high dollar installations during the black power movement and my buddy was there to put those dollars to waste.

Anyway not Hootie liked to drink a lot and stay up until all hours of the night, So I shipped him off to the room next-door with the other idiots like to stay up late all night and not smoke pot and not drink beer and not mess with girls so long story short; I got my own dorm room.

Not Darius Rucker failed out of school second quarter but excelled at video games which I’m not sure how that helps him in later in life but having my own “apartment” was priceless. Do that.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure that is how this is gonna go. I can’t imagine he makes it past first semester.

My sophomore year at boarding school, I roomed with some douche who loved to argue. My first choice of roommate got busted selling Ritalin the last week of freshman year and douchenozzle was the only other acquaintance not signed on with someone. We lived in a triple. I typically did not engage but he started some stupid argument one day and I just fucking lost it. Scared the shit out of him and he was gone the next week. Triple all to myself. Of course, I didn’t last much longer.

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**Harry** · 08-29-2021, 07:31 PM

Somewhere on some gaming forum....

“I just moved into the freshman dorms at Montana State. My roommate is a fucking weirdo. He posts all day on some really old ski forum that uses some sort of ancient technology using a box fan. He is the only person on the ski forum who is under 60, and all these old duffers do is argue about airplanes on treadmills while simultaneously claiming they are the best skiers on the mountain. Have you ever heard of anyone shredding after age 40? I sure haven’t. As if that isn’t enough, today this dweeb gets a text from some redhead in Park City, and get this, instead of banging her here in the dorm like hero, he gets the combination to a mini storage belonging to some 60-something old fuck with a bad heart. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. Oh, and I caught him furiously masterbating to photos of a 50-something lady from Walla Walla who owns like 20 cats. I’m not sure how I ended up in this shithole dorm with this freakazoid roommate. Any advice is welcome.”

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**XXX-er** · 08-29-2021, 07:39 PM

i forget the covo/ reasoning about junior getting a single dorm room but its all here

**stealurface831** · 08-29-2021, 07:42 PM

Originally Posted by Harry

Somewhere on some gaming forum....

“I just moved into the freshman dorms at Montana State. My roommate is a fucking weirdo. He posts all day on some really old ski forum that uses some sort of ancient technology using a box fan. He is the only person on the ski forum who is under 60, and all these old duffers do is argue about airplanes on treadmills while simultaneously claiming they are the best skiers on the mountain. Have you ever heard of anyone skiing after age 40? I sure haven’t. As if that isn’t enough, today this dweeb gets a text from some redhead in Park City, and get this, instead of banging her here in the dorm like hero, he gets the combination to a mini storage belonging to some 60-something old fuck with a bad heart. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. Oh, and I caught him furiously masterbating to photos of a 50-something lady from Walla Walla who owns like 20 cats. I’m not sure how I ended up in this shithole dorm with this freakazoid roommate. Any advice is welcome.”

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Lollll

I really hope the day never comes when I have to explain to a peer what the trg is.

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**JimmyCarter** · 08-29-2021, 07:43 PM

Originally Posted by stealurface831

Lollll

I really hope the day never comes when I have to explain to a peer what the trg is.

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It’s a senior community where you do volunteer work

**m2711c** · 08-29-2021, 07:59 PM

if they were really your peers, they would already be here.

**Core Shot** · 08-29-2021, 08:08 PM

Just checking in to say I loved “collegge” dayz

**AK47bp** · 08-30-2021, 12:22 AM

Originally Posted by stealurface831

i have been here almost a week and my roommate has not, to my knowledge, showered once the entire time. i haven't gotten close enough to get a whiff but i don't imagine he smells great.

My dorm roommate freshman year never said a word to me, weirdest shit ever.

I think he was scared of me for some reason.

I drank half a bottle of vodka one night, smashed all the cigarette urns outside my dorm and fought 3 hockey players at the same time (I lost). Woke up with a blood soaked pillow and a business card on my dresser from the college police with instructions to contact them asap.

I think that turned him off.

Don’t be like me.

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**Marshall Tucker** · 08-30-2021, 08:05 AM

Originally Posted by stealurface831

My sophomore year at boarding schoolTGR Forums

CAn i ask where? I got sent to reform-slash-boarding school a few miles from Massanutten...

**ötzi** · 08-30-2021, 08:10 AM

I think he went to real school, not a junior prison.

**XXX-er** · 08-30-2021, 08:15 AM

yeah i think it went something like " considering what it costs to do a uni degree since you might get a loser room mate as well documented in the last 16 pages dorm accommodation is not the place to scrimp ... pay for the single "