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Thread: Collegge

  1. #701
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    Quote Originally Posted by neufox47 View Post
    C’mon Boomers, you gotta do better than a bong that is now legal, and a cop letting you off of a DWI / open container. Shit a friend of mine was let off of an obvious DUI in 2012. Cop waved him over in a construction site, quizzed him about drinking. Friend said I’m just driving 1mile from the train station and the cop said I tell you what, I’m going to place these two cones parallel to the direction you are traveling and if you can drive / turn through them without hitting either I’ll let you go. Friend said he had 3” on either side.

    Kids today aren’t trading their pure MDMA and polyamory for the ability to drive drunk more frequently and get off.
    Well there are many things that are well beyond the statute of limitations but still not a good idea to boast about on a public forum.
    Go that way really REALLY fast. If something gets in your way, TURN!

  2. #702
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    We had Polaroid cameras in the college daze… to keep us safe from the man. Things were just getting good when the Polaroid cameras started coming out.

  3. #703
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    Neufox has a hard on for the boomers.

    I’m not a boomer.

    But pipe bombs. Couch bonfires. Drunk Driving a riding mower to Denny’s fir breakfast. Acetylene garbage bag air bursts. Plus the usual drunken debauchery

    We did a lot of shit knowing there weren’t cameras on every street everywhere

  4. #704
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    Huh, I remember garbage bags full of boomers on multiple occasions.
    And mortars shot horizontally across the desert to mark the sunrise and wake up those who'd fallen asleep.


    Things have changed, and stayed the same. Among the friends I was around there were planes and cars arriving with drugs, but also weird designer drugs in the mail from sketchy Chinese labs thanks to the internet.
    I'm not so jaded to think lots of these things aren't still happening.

  5. #705
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    Quote Originally Posted by BmillsSkier View Post
    That was always the interesting part of freshman year in the dorms, the variety of drugs coming through the place.

    Opium one week, hash the next, enough schwag to choke an elephant, good weed, crazy boomers and paper, mdma... I saw a lot of people get weeded out (no pun intended) by the inability to say no once in a while to shopping at that variety store.
    They don't weed out as much, every kid is worth at least $12k a year in dorm fees at a cheap state schools and much much more at private schools.
    When we dropped off our oldest 4 years ago to the day at his dorm there was a mom going door to door introducing herself and her son . Man I felt bad for that kid and her husband. Who in the fuck wants to be dragged around his freshman dorms floor by his mom with intros. Good thing it was a first floor or I was afraid he was going to jump later that might to relive the embarrassment.

  6. #706
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    Quote Originally Posted by fatnslow View Post
    They don't weed out as much, every kid is worth at least $12k a year in dorm fees at a cheap state schools and much much more at private schools.
    When we dropped off our oldest 4 years ago to the day at his dorm there was a mom going door to door introducing herself and her son . Man I felt bad for that kid and her husband. Who in the fuck wants to be dragged around his freshman dorms floor by his mom with intros. Good thing it was a first floor or I was afraid he was going to jump later that might to relive the embarrassment.
    I just cringed so hard for that kid.
    swing your fucking sword.

  7. #707
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    I hope she was at least passing out edibles or something.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  8. #708
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    Quote Originally Posted by neufox47 View Post
    I hope she was at least passing out edibles or something.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    maybe she was just scouting and getting to know the talent at hand.
    swing your fucking sword.

  9. #709
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    Some dude actually replied to my email. We texted back and forth, talking about meeting up to mull it over.
    I ask if he skis.
    His response: “Some but I don’t go outside much. I mostly play on my PC.”


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    swing your fucking sword.

  10. #710
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    Quote Originally Posted by stealurface831 View Post
    Some dude actually replied to my email. We texted back and forth, talking about meeting up to mull it over.
    I ask if he skis.
    His response: “Some but I don’t go outside much. I mostly play on my PC.”


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    What is up with these damn kids???
    "boobs just make the world better really" - Woodsy

  11. #711
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    Quote Originally Posted by stealurface831 View Post
    I ask if he skis.
    His response: “Some but I don’t go outside much. I mostly play on my PC.”


    Serious question. Why in the hell do these people bother going to MSU if they want to just hole up inside all year?! Why not just go to school in Nebraska or Kansas if you're just gonna play games on your PC full time? SMH.

  12. #712
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    Quote Originally Posted by neufox47 View Post
    I hope she was at least passing out edibles or something.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    Your typical helicopter suburban mom... Probably makes my sure the kids were wearing all the correct brand shoes and clothing so she could give her son the OK to socialize with them. I actually said to my wife *she must be a real terrible lay" as we pulled away from the dorm. Might own quite a few pairs of pants suits.

  13. #713
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    Quote Originally Posted by stealurface831 View Post
    Some dude actually replied to my email. We texted back and forth, talking about meeting up to mull it over.
    I ask if he skis.
    His response: “Some but I don’t go outside much. I mostly play on my PC.”


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    So your roommate and that other guy should be roommates and you should be in the single.

  14. #714
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    Quote Originally Posted by riser3 View Post
    So your roommate and that other guy should be roommates and you should be in the single.
    Ya I was toying with the idea to start some high level psych warfare on the current room mate to make him want to move out. Back to taking a shit in the tower box..
    Go that way really REALLY fast. If something gets in your way, TURN!

  15. #715
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    I really just don’t understand it. I mean, why, if you are not getting in-state tuition and/or planning to be outside a lot, would you come here?


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    swing your fucking sword.

  16. #716
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    Quote Originally Posted by fatnslow View Post
    Might own quite a few pairs of pants suits.
    Could you feel the effect?


    Quote Originally Posted by tonghands View Post
    I shower, I shave, I polish my tongs to a glamorously sexy shine. Roll up to the chica's house. First impression, not bad, cute blonde. Second impression, jesus my fucking eyes what the fuck is she wearing? A cream colored blouse and a peach pantsuit. Jesus, a fucking pantsuit? Is she interviewing to be a bank teller? This girl, who presumably had the time to reject other choices, is sporting a fucking pantsuit? I'm in a hoodie, jeans, and flip flops. She's in a pantsuit. PANTSUIT, PANTSUIT, PANTSUIT. Weird, if you say it a lot it's like the word loses all meaning. Nothing says hot girl on guy action like a pantsuit.

    There are no songs about pantsuits.

    Pantsuit smiles and lets me in. Her smile is the horrifying smile of a TV weatherman with a name like Bruce Storm or Roger Thunderhead or Shitbag Windyfuck. Her relatively attractive face turns into the face of a jackal intent on stealing my soul, or perhaps Kirstie Alley upon finding out that her mortal enemy owns an all you can eat restaurant. What sounds like the Three Tenors is playing on the stereo, if indeed the fat tenor didn't eat the other two prompting a name change to something like 'The Fat, Cannibal Tenor' or maybe 'The King of all Tenors the Hard Way' or even "Ask Me About the Other Tenors and I'll Fucking Eat You Too". This date is not going to a ball of sunshine.

    A pox on all pantsuits, a curse on the pantsuits, such is the will of god.

    Pantsuit is a bit crestfallen to find out that my ride is a gigantic van filled with stuff Maggots would think is cool but boring people don't get, and so we end up taking her euro sport status wagon, which turns out to be a major tactical error on my part. Always leave an escape route. Conversation on the way is a bit stilted. Her questions are clearly aimed at finding out whether or not I will make an suitable life partner who will allow her to reproduce and live in the style to which she'd like to become accustomed. Finally we arrive at a restaurant for which I am severely underdressed.

    We've got pantsuits, they're not cool, we've got pantsuits, how 'bout you!

    Pantsuit orders something that sounds like 'penis grease' and I am sorta bummed when it just turns out to be wine. For a brief moment I thought maybe things were looking up. Conversation hasn't improved much. She asks where I grew up and other tedious stuff. Bored, I try to talk about cool stuff:

    "Hey Pantsuit, did you know that there's this disease called Kuru that people in New Guinea get from eating dead people's brains?"

    "Oh, that's disgusting."

    "Well, yeah. That's why it kicks so much ass."

    "Let's talk about something more pleasant, what do you do for a living?"

    "Ummm.... that's kinda hard to explain. What about you?"

    "Well I ...". Hoooooooly crap. Pantsuit Powers Activate! This woman has control of time! The next half an hour actually takes well over eighteen hours of normal, non-pantsuit time and is filled with talk of pilates futures hedge funds and her job in holistic interior design arbitrage. I may have that wrong, I can't really remember. I do remember ordering 6x10^18th bourbons. I recall drinking a bunch of them. I recall hate. Einstein's theory of General Relativity will now have to be re-jiggered to take into account the time dilation power of what I call 'The Pantsuit Effect'.

    Pantsuit, Pantsuit, Pantsuit!

    "...and so that's my career." Great googly-moogly! She's stopped! I recall a distinct Doppler effect as her vocal cords stopped vibrating. "Huh. Ummmm, cool? I gotta pee." Sweet freedom! I resolve to end this monstrosity and so tell her upon my return that I'm not feeling so well and need to go home. Pantsuit appears disappointed, no doubt because she doesn't have the opportunity to sonically lacerate me any more. As we arrive at my car Pantsuit wonders "If you'd like to come in for a nightcap?". A nightcap! Hoooly christ I'm not going in there. This harpy's idea of foreplay is a filibuster. Pantsuit then asks if she can call me sometime. Like hell she can call me sometime. Like I'm going to allow her to use the one appliance she can do maximum damage with. Pantsuit, I'm gone baby.

    Mothers, don't let your babies grow up to wear pantsuits

  17. #717
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    Quote Originally Posted by abraham View Post
    Could you feel the effect?
    I did have an urge to ask her if she likes Greek in the dorm hallway but I didn't want to get pimp slapped by my wife..... All I could think was man I could have done worse, much much worse.

  18. #718
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    Quote Originally Posted by fatnslow View Post
    They don't weed out as much, every kid is worth at least $12k a year in dorm fees at a cheap state schools and much much more at private schools.
    When we dropped off our oldest 4 years ago to the day at his dorm there was a mom going door to door introducing herself and her son . Man I felt bad for that kid and her husband. Who in the fuck wants to be dragged around his freshman dorms floor by his mom with intros. Good thing it was a first floor or I was afraid he was going to jump later that might to relive the embarrassment.
    My parents were almost as embarrassing, but unintentionally.

    I didn’t have much to bring to school, so while I went and handled some administrative bullshit my parents thought it would be good to unpack my suitcase for me.

    Flashback to me removing any incriminating evidence from the house days earlier by throwing it in said suitcase. Luckily my bowl was in my pocket, but the one porn I had left in the house (VHS!) and maybe a magazine or two got thrown in the bag. I don’t remember the exact name of the tape, but it was something incredibly generic and blatantly porn (I want to say “Strap-on Lesbians 6” or something)

    When I got back to the dorm and met my roommate for the first time, things were a bit awkward but I had no idea why. It didn’t help that my two brothers, one who was a junior at said college, were also in the room when it happened. Wasn’t til I put two and two together that I realized why people were looking at their feet, except for my older brother who had the biggest shit eating grin on his face. He and my roommate filled me in on the details over a bowl later that afternoon.

  19. #719
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buzzworthy View Post
    What is up with these damn kids???
    Nothing. It's less competition for SUF for the women folk and the first chairs at BB. Win-win. He also wins when competing with the alcoholics who are too hungover to ski on weekends.

  20. #720
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    Quote Originally Posted by muted reborn View Post
    He also wins when competing with the alcoholics who are too hungover to ski on weekends.
    If only i wasn't working on weekends and rockin the midweek pass.

    powder days might constitute a day ticket purchase though.
    swing your fucking sword.

  21. #721
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    Quote Originally Posted by JimmyCarter View Post
    My parents were almost as embarrassing, but unintentionally.

    I didn’t have much to bring to school, so while I went and handled some administrative bullshit my parents thought it would be good to unpack my suitcase for me.

    Flashback to me removing any incriminating evidence from the house days earlier by throwing it in said suitcase. Luckily my bowl was in my pocket, but the one porn I had left in the house (VHS!) and maybe a magazine or two got thrown in the bag. I don’t remember the exact name of the tape, but it was something incredibly generic and blatantly porn (I want to say “Strap-on Lesbians 6” or something)

    When I got back to the dorm and met my roommate for the first time, things were a bit awkward but I had no idea why. It didn’t help that my two brothers, one who was a junior at said college, were also in the room when it happened. Wasn’t til I put two and two together that I realized why people were looking at their feet, except for my older brother who had the biggest shit eating grin on his face. He and my roommate filled me in on the details over a bowl later that afternoon.
    Fuck that’s hilarious.

    I mean, sorry man. Musta sucked.
    I still call it The Jake.

  22. #722
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    Quote Originally Posted by muted reborn View Post
    Nothing. It's less competition for SUF for the women folk and the first chairs at BB. Win-win. He also wins when competing with the alcoholics who are too hungover to ski on weekends.
    Definitely a great way to look at it.

    But the gaming…I have a buddy I met a few years ago and he’s young, 35. He plays an enormous amount of COD. He literally will leave a bunch of us at HIS house and disappears for hours to play video games.
    It’s the most whacked out thing I’ve seen in a long time.
    Didn’t go snowboarding one time with me as well in a decent pow day….to play his damn game.
    I just don’t get the damn video game thing and never will.

    NOW GET OFF MY LAWN!

  23. #723
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buzzworthy View Post
    Definitely a great way to look at it.

    But the gaming…I have a buddy I met a few years ago and he’s young, 35. He plays an enormous amount of COD. He literally will leave a bunch of us at HIS house and disappears for hours to play video games.
    It’s the most whacked out thing I’ve seen in a long time.
    Didn’t go snowboarding one time with me as well in a decent pow day….to play his damn game.
    I just don’t get the damn video game thing and never will.

    NOW GET OFF MY LAWN!
    It is literally an addiction.
    swing your fucking sword.

  24. #724
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    I’ve come to finally see that. Glad I picked weed instead.

  25. #725
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    Quote Originally Posted by stealurface831 View Post
    It is literally an addiction.
    Quote Originally Posted by Buzzworthy View Post
    I’ve come to finally see that. Glad I picked weed instead.
    No one ever sucked dick for call of duty game time

    #BobSaggett
    . . .

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