View Poll Results: Could you beat a gorilla in a fight, completely unarmed?

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  • Of course. I do crossfit.

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  • Never in a million years.

    44 74.58%
  • Only if I was angry because the Cubs lost.

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  1. #1
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    Poll: How many of you idiots think you could kill a gorilla?

    See here: https://www.tetongravity.com/forums/...02#post6374902

    (Scroll up in the link for boobers)

    Apparently about 1 in 12 Americans think they can beat a gorilla in a fight. I think it's a skewed representative sample. Where do you stand?

  2. #2
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    Can I throw a 3 year old at it so a zookeeper shoots it during the fight?


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  3. #3
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    4 out of 12 Americans would just grab their guns.

    The world is perfect. Appreciate the details.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by JimmyCarter View Post
    Can I throw a 3 year old at it so a zookeeper shoots it during the fight?


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    Dicks out for you.

  5. #5
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    Polls (still) don't work on the app (that hasn't been updated in forever)

    But fuck taking on any other primate in a hand-to-hand fight. Those things are vicious. No thanks!

    This should be enough evidence for anyone:


  6. #6
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    Chimps and gorillas are two different things. Like I said, a large man of above average strength might be able to take a chimp. No fucking chance with a gorilla.
    Source: https://www.google.com/amp/s/slate.c...zee-really.amp


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  7. #7
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    Not stupid enough to get in a fight with a small monkey or even most wild animals. Fuckers only know fighting to the death. If 1 in 12 really believe this, there must be money in pay for view cage fights.
    www.apriliaforum.com

    "If the road You followed brought you to this,of what use was the road"?

    "I have no idea what I am talking about but would be happy to share my biased opinions as fact on the matter. "
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  8. #8
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    gorilla wrasslin is part of my weekly CrossFit rotation, so…

  9. #9
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    I'd pay for front row seats to see stealurface get his ass kicked by a chimp.

    Or a bonobo.
    Quote Originally Posted by Downbound Train View Post
    And there will come a day when our ancestors look back...........

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by stealurface831 View Post
    Chimps and gorillas are two different things. Like I said, a large man of above average strength might be able to take a chimp. No fucking chance with a gorilla.
    Source: https://www.google.com/amp/s/slate.c...zee-really.amp


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    Agreed, and chimps are mean and strong enough to literally rip your face off and then eat you after being stabbed. I'm not even considering the gorilla!

  11. #11
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    Poll: How many of you idiots think you could kill a gorilla?

    Quote Originally Posted by PNWbrit View Post
    I'd pay for front row seats to see stealurface get his ass kicked by a chimp.

    Or a bonobo.
    I might not be able to take a chimp but I’ll fuck your ass up for damned sure.


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  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by JayPowHound View Post
    Agreed, and chimps are mean and strong enough to literally rip your face off and then eat you after being stabbed. I'm not even considering the gorilla!
    Yeah, local woman had her face ripped off, literally. Those fuckers scare me.

    The world is perfect. Appreciate the details.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benny Profane View Post
    Yeah, local woman had her face ripped off, literally. Those fuckers scare me.
    Listen to the 911 call I posted. I wonder if it's the same case?

  14. #14
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    I recalled gorillas as being 300 lbs or so, but a search indicates at least one was weighed at 470 lbs. holy shit.

  15. #15
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    Bunch of fucking pussies in here…..

  16. #16
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    I"ll take a pair of the fight tickets as well. Whose taking book?


    woman-face-hands-ripped-pet-chimp/
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  17. #17
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    If I am given a healthy dose of PCP and match me up with a smaller chimp, I think.I have a chance.


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  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZomblibulaX View Post
    Dicks out for you.
    #harambe

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  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vt-Freeheel View Post
    I"ll take a pair of the fight tickets as well. Whose taking book?


    woman-face-hands-ripped-pet-chimp/
    ^^ pretty sure that's the one I posted. Gruesome. Anyone thinking they could take one on is dreaming.

  20. #20
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    We are talking "hand to paw" here right? No fucking way any man, even that fucker the mountain is taking a gorilla or a chimp....looks like research shows chimps to be roughly 1.5 times stronger than a like sized human.

    Good fucking luck brining those dormant animal instincts back to life against an animal who still lives those instincts.

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  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by stealurface831 View Post
    If I am given a healthy dose of PCP and match me up with a smaller chimp, I think.I have a chance.
    I’m in. We sent IAS to SLC, I think the collective can make this happen.

    Also, why exactly would I want to kill a gorilla?

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by stealurface831 View Post
    If I am given a healthy dose of PCP and match me up with a smaller chimp, I think.I have a chance.


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    How small? None of this Curious George shit, needs to be a college aged chimp[relatively speaking] to be fair.
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    "If the road You followed brought you to this,of what use was the road"?

    "I have no idea what I am talking about but would be happy to share my biased opinions as fact on the matter. "
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  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skidog View Post
    We are talking "hand to paw" here right? No fucking way any man, even that fucker the mountain is taking a gorilla or a chimp....looks like research shows chimps to be roughly 1.5 times stronger than a like sized human.

    Good fucking luck brining those dormant animal instincts back to life against an animal who still lives those instincts.

    Sent from my Pixel 4a (5G) using TGR Forums mobile app
    Key term there is like sized human. Wild chimps max out around 150. Humans do not.


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  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by JayPowHound View Post
    Listen to the 911 call I posted. I wonder if it's the same case?
    Yup, that's the one. I road biked right by that house for a few years.

    The women on the call slept with the fucker. Jezuz, that was pretty twisted.

    The world is perfect. Appreciate the details.

  25. #25
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    I’m telling you, it’s easy Peezy. Fucking kid’ll have no problems. Just don’t be a fucking pussy. Like this guy……





    I mean, bringing ‘em fruit and shit and then trying to get all handsy at the same time? What the fuck that guy think was gonna happen? He should’ve come in fucking swingin’ right when the bell dropped and instead he got his ass fucking sumo wrestled right into the fucking goddamn river.


    you gotta use fucking tactics with these fucking opponents. Tactics I’m tellin’ ya.

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