Poll: How many of you idiots think you could kill a gorilla?

**ZomblibulaX** · 08-10-2021, 05:33 PM

See here: https://www.tetongravity.com/forums/...02#post6374902

(Scroll up in the link for boobers)

Apparently about 1 in 12 Americans think they can beat a gorilla in a fight. I think it's a skewed representative sample. Where do you stand?

**JimmyCarter** · 08-10-2021, 05:36 PM

Can I throw a 3 year old at it so a zookeeper shoots it during the fight?

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**Benny Profane** · 08-10-2021, 05:36 PM

4 out of 12 Americans would just grab their guns.

**ZomblibulaX** · 08-10-2021, 05:37 PM

Originally Posted by JimmyCarter

Can I throw a 3 year old at it so a zookeeper shoots it during the fight?

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Dicks out for you.

**JayPowHound** · 08-10-2021, 05:45 PM

Polls (still) don't work on the app (that hasn't been updated in forever)

But fuck taking on any other primate in a hand-to-hand fight. Those things are vicious. No thanks!

This should be enough evidence for anyone:

**stealurface831** · 08-10-2021, 05:52 PM

Chimps and gorillas are two different things. Like I said, a large man of above average strength might be able to take a chimp. No fucking chance with a gorilla.
Source: https://www.google.com/amp/s/slate.c...zee-really.amp

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**Vt-Freeheel** · 08-10-2021, 05:52 PM

Not stupid enough to get in a fight with a small monkey or even most wild animals. Fuckers only know fighting to the death. If 1 in 12 really believe this, there must be money in pay for view cage fights.

**frorider** · 08-10-2021, 05:55 PM

gorilla wrasslin is part of my weekly CrossFit rotation, so…

**PNWbrit** · 08-10-2021, 05:56 PM

I'd pay for front row seats to see stealurface get his ass kicked by a chimp.

Or a bonobo.

**JayPowHound** · 08-10-2021, 05:57 PM

Originally Posted by stealurface831

Chimps and gorillas are two different things. Like I said, a large man of above average strength might be able to take a chimp. No fucking chance with a gorilla.
Source: https://www.google.com/amp/s/slate.c...zee-really.amp

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Agreed, and chimps are mean and strong enough to literally rip your face off and then eat you after being stabbed. I'm not even considering the gorilla!

**stealurface831** · 08-10-2021, 05:57 PM

Originally Posted by PNWbrit

I'd pay for front row seats to see stealurface get his ass kicked by a chimp.

Or a bonobo.

I might not be able to take a chimp but I’ll fuck your ass up for damned sure.

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**Benny Profane** · 08-10-2021, 06:00 PM

Originally Posted by JayPowHound

Agreed, and chimps are mean and strong enough to literally rip your face off and then eat you after being stabbed. I'm not even considering the gorilla!

Yeah, local woman had her face ripped off, literally. Those fuckers scare me.

**JayPowHound** · 08-10-2021, 06:03 PM

Originally Posted by Benny Profane

Yeah, local woman had her face ripped off, literally. Those fuckers scare me.

Listen to the 911 call I posted. I wonder if it's the same case?

**frorider** · 08-10-2021, 06:07 PM

I recalled gorillas as being 300 lbs or so, but a search indicates at least one was weighed at 470 lbs. holy shit.

**m2711c** · 08-10-2021, 06:08 PM

Bunch of fucking pussies in here…..

**Vt-Freeheel** · 08-10-2021, 06:09 PM

I"ll take a pair of the fight tickets as well. Whose taking book?

woman-face-hands-ripped-pet-chimp/

**stealurface831** · 08-10-2021, 06:12 PM

If I am given a healthy dose of PCP and match me up with a smaller chimp, I think.I have a chance.

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**Skidog** · 08-10-2021, 06:13 PM

Originally Posted by ZomblibulaX

Dicks out for you.

#harambe

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**JayPowHound** · 08-10-2021, 06:16 PM

Originally Posted by Vt-Freeheel

I"ll take a pair of the fight tickets as well. Whose taking book?

woman-face-hands-ripped-pet-chimp/

^^ pretty sure that's the one I posted. Gruesome. Anyone thinking they could take one on is dreaming.

**Skidog** · 08-10-2021, 06:19 PM

We are talking "hand to paw" here right? No fucking way any man, even that fucker the mountain is taking a gorilla or a chimp....looks like research shows chimps to be roughly 1.5 times stronger than a like sized human.

Good fucking luck brining those dormant animal instincts back to life against an animal who still lives those instincts.

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**Meadow Skipper** · 08-10-2021, 06:19 PM

Originally Posted by stealurface831

If I am given a healthy dose of PCP and match me up with a smaller chimp, I think.I have a chance.

I’m in. We sent IAS to SLC, I think the collective can make this happen.

Also, why exactly would I want to kill a gorilla?

**Vt-Freeheel** · 08-10-2021, 06:22 PM

Originally Posted by stealurface831

If I am given a healthy dose of PCP and match me up with a smaller chimp, I think.I have a chance.

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How small? None of this Curious George shit, needs to be a college aged chimp[relatively speaking] to be fair.

**stealurface831** · 08-10-2021, 06:22 PM

Originally Posted by Skidog

We are talking "hand to paw" here right? No fucking way any man, even that fucker the mountain is taking a gorilla or a chimp....looks like research shows chimps to be roughly 1.5 times stronger than a like sized human.

Good fucking luck brining those dormant animal instincts back to life against an animal who still lives those instincts.

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Key term there is like sized human. Wild chimps max out around 150. Humans do not.

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**Benny Profane** · 08-10-2021, 06:22 PM

Originally Posted by JayPowHound

Listen to the 911 call I posted. I wonder if it's the same case?

Yup, that's the one. I road biked right by that house for a few years.

The women on the call slept with the fucker. Jezuz, that was pretty twisted.

**m2711c** · 08-10-2021, 06:23 PM

I’m telling you, it’s easy Peezy. Fucking kid’ll have no problems. Just don’t be a fucking pussy. Like this guy……

I mean, bringing ‘em fruit and shit and then trying to get all handsy at the same time? What the fuck that guy think was gonna happen? He should’ve come in fucking swingin’ right when the bell dropped and instead he got his ass fucking sumo wrestled right into the fucking goddamn river.

you gotta use fucking tactics with these fucking opponents. Tactics I’m tellin’ ya.