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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    True Nazi Midget Story. Pueblo, Colorado.

    This story is true and takes place in the late 90’s, in Pueblo, Colorado. NO CLIFFS because its awesome.

    Jack (his real name) is an EMT and riding shotgun in an ambulance with Steve. They get a call in a not-so-great part of town. There are basement houses with no 1st floors just a roof and lots of chain link fences.
    The call came from a pizza delivery guy. At his delivery there was a man who couldn’t breathe and the residents were ignoring him.

    As Jack got closer to the house, it still seemed far away. It was because the house was built at 70% of scale. Immediately Jack’s spider sense was tingling, something was wrong and this was not going to be a normal call.
    They passed the Pizza guy and rang the doorbell. An older man opened the 70% size door. He was a midget, in a wife beater, with thin suspenders, a shaved head and doc martins. He led them to another younger midget, in a in a wife beater, with thin suspenders, a shaved head and doc martins. Then a younger woman walked up in a wife beater but without thin suspenders. She was clearly a Nazi midget too.

    The younger Nazi man stated he had trouble breathing earlier but was fine now and the EMT’s should leave. At this point Jack called in for police back up, something was really wrong.

    Two officers in a black and white arrive and question the little Nazi people. Jack is looking around and notices full size sliding doors going up through the ceiling because the ceiling is so low. He has to hunch over to keep from hitting the ceiling, everything is 70% of normal, the furniture the cabinets, everything.

    As Jack looks at the kitchen sink, he sees the Pizza guy. The Pizza is pressed against the kitchen window and is mouthing silently to Jack ”That’s not the guy, it’s the one in the other room!”

    Pointing to another room, Jack sees a man’s bare feet while he lays on a table.



    At this point it gets really weird.


    The Nazi’s know the game is up, they start fighting like mad men. The cops try to cuff them but they can’t get the cuffs to reach around their backs with their short arms. Not only that, they have super strength from the all the meth (allegedly). The cops are clearly not winning, so they call “officer in trouble” on the radio.


    Shit is really about to go down now.

    The cops are battling the Nazi’s and the girl comes out from the back and has this huge fire extinguisher. She blasts the cops and floods the room with yellow powder.

    Jack is blinded by the yellow fog. He can’t breathe or see. It tastes terrible. He panics and runs for two steps and smashes his head on the ceiling. Jack gets up and trips over the couch. He gets up and smashed his head on a light now. He frantically runs out of the house after smashing his head several more times.

    Exiting the house he breaks the number one rule of EMT’s. Don’t leave your wingman. He has to go back in for Steve.

    The house is a warzone. The yellow is everywhere, and the little Nazi warriors are giving more than they are getting. Steve is bashing a midget who is biting him, Jack drags him out of the 70% size yellow hell.

    Jack exits the building guiding a blind Steve to be stopped cold by the SWAT team with M4 rifles that responded to the call. They zip tie Jack who looks like a yellow powdered, big bird impersonator and a well bitten Steve.
    The cops manage to drag out the midgets and the SWAT team isn’t two impressed by the super villains they were called to capture.

    Jack and Steve are released and it turns out the guy on the table was on disability and the Nazis were drugging him and cashing his checks.

    Feel free to add pictures of what you thought this looked like and which poster should play who in the movie adaptation.

    I want to play the pizza guy but my part should have a love interest, a really hot one.

  2. #2
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    Oct 2007
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    The greatest N. New Mexico resort in Colorado
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    First of all, "not-so-great part of town" describes all of SE Colorado.

  3. #3
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    Jan 2010
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    Click image for larger version. 

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    A basement house nearby.

  4. #4
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    Feb 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by exsparky View Post
    A basement house nearby.
    Wow, never heard of that before. What's the point, just to keep cool?

  5. #5
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    Jul 2016
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    NY
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    Quote Originally Posted by dan_pdx View Post
    Wow, never heard of that before. What's the point, just to keep cool?
    My reaction too. Live and learn
    https://www.historycolorado.org/basement-house

  6. #6
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    Jan 2010
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    Colorado
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    Over time people usually "popped the top" making a single floor house. A single to a 2 story is more common these days which is also a "pop top."

    Original underground houses are only in forever crappy neighborhoods.

  7. #7
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    Jan 2017
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    on the banks of Fish Creek
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    this is a popular building style in certain parts of the upstates…. usually without the nazi midget infestation though.










    but not always.

  8. #8
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    May 2006
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    Colorado
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    like this?

    Click image for larger version. 

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  9. #9
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    Dec 2012
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    I smell poutine!!!
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    Some hippie friends of my parents came back from Alaska in the late 70s and built a really cool log house with a six sided living room. They built a walkout basement first and lived in that for a year or so before building the house on top of it.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
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    Fraggle Rock, CO
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    6,526
    Dwarf or little person is the preferred nomenclature, dude
    Brandine: Now Cletus, if I catch you with pig lipstick on your collar one more time you ain't gonna be allowed to sleep in the barn no more!
    Cletus: Duly noted.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
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    Colorado
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    324
    Wow. I grew up there, leaving in 2001. That's a fucked up story even for Pueblo!

  12. #12
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    Nov 2004
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    YetiMan
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cruiser View Post
    Dwarf or little person is the preferred nomenclature, dude
    I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

  13. #13
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    Jun 2020
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    in a freezer in Italy
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    3,328
    No porn angle? Disappoint.

  14. #14
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    Jul 2016
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    NY
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    Quote Originally Posted by m2711c View Post
    this is a popular building style in certain parts of the upstates…. usually without the nazi midget infestation though.
    but not always.
    You see- To me, the midget nazis reminded me of home more then the postwar shithouse.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
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    13,757
    LoL thanks for sharing this. My BIL is an EMT and he's got some crazy stories, but no mid...er...little people stories.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    MN
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    2,421

    True Nazi Midget Story. Pueblo, Colorado.

    Great story.

    A buddy from high school was an EMT. We shared an apartment for a year after college. He worked the night shift. We’d cross paths in the morning. Most days he would start in about his night with, “so we get this run….” I couldn’t believe the stories and shit he would see and deal with what seemed like on a nightly basis. Once every week or two he’d have one that seemed so unbelievable you knew it had to be true because you could not make stuff like that up. I told him to write a book called “So we get this run….stories from an EMT”. I was dead serious. Told him I’d help fund it. I brought it up once a week. It would have been a NYT best seller. I’m chuckling now about some of the real doozies he had.

  17. #17
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    Mar 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by exsparky View Post
    Click image for larger version. 

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    A basement house nearby.
    Quote Originally Posted by dan_pdx View Post
    Wow, never heard of that before. What's the point, just to keep cool?
    I’m thinking skate park roof


    Where’s the nazi angle to this story?
    Hitler mustache?
    Or are all midgets nazis?
    “Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.”
    Hunter S. Thompson

  18. #18
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    May 2002
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    33,504
    Isn't this what the Mormons used to do?

  19. #19
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    Oct 2006
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    Bellevue
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    Quote Originally Posted by exsparky View Post
    Click image for larger version. 

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    A basement house nearby.
    What the shit? I hope someone's sent it off that roof with a BMX bike.

  20. #20
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    Jun 2014
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    Montreal, Canada
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    fucking Pueblo man, I've been there a few times for work. When i've travelled for work i'd bring a skateboard and check out the local parks on down time.

    Pueblo was one of the sketchiest. Nice park but the surrounding houses and goings on freaked me out. Weird ass place man. Never knew about the basement houses.
    24° 06°

  21. #21
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    Oct 2014
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    Ottawa
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    Quote Originally Posted by exsparky View Post
    An older man opened the 70% size door. He was a midget, in a wife beater, with thin suspenders, a shaved head and doc martins. He led them to another younger midget, in a in a wife beater, with thin suspenders, a shaved head and doc martins. Then a younger woman walked up in a wife beater but without thin suspenders. She was clearly a Nazi midget too.
    Because there are no pants mentioned, I can only think that none of the midgets are wearing pants. That makes the story even better.
    Quote Originally Posted by jlboyell View Post
    Climate change deniers should be in the same boat as the flat earthers, ridiculed for stupidity.

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
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    Behind the Potato Curtain
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    3,744
    Quote Originally Posted by splat View Post
    Isn't this what the Mormons used to do?
    Yeah, theses exist all over Idaho Falls in the older downtown.

    I work in EMS. You see goofy shit on the reg.

  23. #23
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    Nov 2003
    Location
    Stuck in perpetual Meh
    Posts
    35,374
    No wonder Lauren Boebert is their Congressional Representative.

    Great story!

  24. #24
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    Jan 2010
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    Colorado
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    575
    Quote Originally Posted by johnnyg82 View Post
    Because there are no pants mentioned, I can only think that none of the midgets are wearing pants. That makes the story even better.
    I clearly stated 2 of them had thin suspenders, therefore they had tiny pants.

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Missoula, MT
    Posts
    21,707
    I want to play 1 of the midgets. Just build the set 170% of normal to make me look smaller. Or maybe the SWAT team leader. Yeah, the SWAT team leader. Hating/shooting Nazis is a family thing for me.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sluff View Post
    Great story.

    A buddy from high school was an EMT. We shared an apartment for a year after college. He worked the night shift. We’d cross paths in the morning. Most days he would start in about his night with, “so we get this run….” I couldn’t believe the stories and shit he would see and deal with what seemed like on a nightly basis. Once every week or two he’d have one that seemed so unbelievable you knew it had to be true because you could not make stuff like that up. I told him to write a book called “So we get this run….stories from an EMT”. I was dead serious. Told him I’d help fund it. I brought it up once a week. It would have been a NYT best seller. I’m chuckling now about some of the real doozies he had.
    Go on....
    No longer stuck.

    Quote Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn View Post
    Just an uneducated guess.

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