Fatherhood anonymous; an open discussion on being a dad.

[skiskiskiskiski]

( ya know ) This is a great thread -
I love reading stories of new Dads and the joy that you find in fatherhood -
Thank you.

I stand by my posts -

decades ago, I gave my friends first and second generation baby monitors when they had their first-born.

I have seen the devastation of SIDS. and
I have been touched by death in childhood.

my Grandfather buried at least two babies who died in infancy, and a daughter and a son when they were young adults --

This is a great thread, and
I stand by my posts.

skiJ

Jesus H Christ. Im so glad to see that mothers aren't the only ones harshly judged for every parenting decision and every single second of parenthood that they aren't able to be 100% present and superhuman.


You know what makes someone a good parent? Self care. Taking care of one self so that they can be present and whole to care for others.

Self care. You know, a few minutes outside, alone. Deep breath.

Casual conversation with an adult.

Laughing.

Jesus! Parent is outside a few houses down with the monitor running for a time when they are nearly certain the kid will sleep and if something comes up they can be there in a minute?

What about the emotionally unavailable non baby monitor parent that never turns the TV off, never talks to baby, never plays with baby, but feeds, changes diaper and everything right on time and never leaves the house. Person is seriously depressed. You think that baby is better off? Lets judge them instead.

[MagnificentUnicorn]

Jesus H Christ. Im so glad to see that mothers aren't the only ones harshly judged for every parenting decision and every single second of parenthood that they aren't able to be 100% present and superhuman.


You know what makes someone a good parent? Self care. Taking care of one self so that they can be present and whole to care for others.

Self care. You know, a few minutes outside, alone. Deep breath.

Casual conversation with an adult.

Laughing.

Jesus! Parent is outside a few houses down with the monitor running for a time when they are nearly certain the kid will sleep and if something comes up they can be there in a minute?

What about the emotionally unavailable non baby monitor parent that never turns the TV off, never talks to baby, never plays with baby, but feeds, changes diaper and everything right on time and never leaves the house. Person is seriously depressed. You think that baby is better off? Lets judge them instead.

You sound triggered. Self care, is that a euphemism for jerking off?


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[Mustonen]

You sound triggered. Self care, is that a euphemism for jerking off?


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Not without a baby monitor, I hope.

[MagnificentUnicorn]

Not without a baby monitor, I hope.

Next level perversion


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[SkiLyft]

Kid stoke.
Im amazed that she can spend literally all day playing with bowls in the kitchen and Amazon boxes. Who needs toys.





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[riser4]

Kid stoke.
Im amazed that she can spend literally all day playing with bowels in the kitchen and Amazon boxes. Who needs toys.





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She might also like playing with bowls.

[SkiLyft]

Hahaha, doh**


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[InspectorGadget]

She might also like playing with bowls.

+1

[SkiLyft]

Edited but keep the quote, that’s hilarious


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[DeepHelmet]

Use a baby monitor, I was just giving my opinion as a parent. Our daughters were usually always with us, inside or outside, so a baby monitor was certainly not something that we would consider. We never isolated either child from the family group. I guess that’s the real point of my dislike for baby monitors. Be present as a parent from infancy and beyond.

My daughters are independent adults now and seem happy for the most part.


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If they were always usually with you, how did they get any sleep? We used baby monitors, 17 years ago, just to keep an ear on the kiddo while she slept - we didn't have any video. Pretty sure I'd never leave the house with a sleeping baby in it, but if others feel comfortable doing that, then you do you. We're all different parents. In my line of work I come across kids sleeping in milk crates while strangers smoke crack around them, so going next door for a beer while watching on your phone doesn't even register on my scale of bad parenting skills. To each their own, except for the smoking crack part....

[skaredshtles]

I don't remember if we used a monitor with our kids.

[idahospud]

I don't remember if we used a monitor with our kids.

Straight to jail!

[TahoeJ]

I don't remember if we used a monitor with our kids.

Oh dear, you've just opened up a new level of parental pearl clutching now. If those baby monitor heathens should never have had children I can only imagine the damnation that awaits you. lol...

[yeahman]

We never used a monitor. I can't recall if we left them alone as infants, other than to leave them in the camper in their cribs while we sat by the fire and usually took a late night walk around the campground. I know as soon as they were a bit older we used to tuck them into bed on ski weekends and hit the hotel bar, or sit in the lobby with a 6 pack. Periodically one of us would go check on them by listening at the door, but usually once they were asleep they were out cold.

[RootSkier]

Lotta fucking lunatics in this thread lately. Wowza.

[skiJ]

If they were always usually with you, how did they get any sleep? We used baby monitors, 17 years ago, just to keep an ear on the kiddo while she slept - we didn't have any video. Pretty sure I'd never leave the house with a sleeping baby in it, but if others feel comfortable doing that, then you do you. We're all different parents. In my line of work I come across kids sleeping in milk crates while strangers smoke crack around them, so going next door for a beer while watching on your phone doesn't even register on my scale of bad parenting skills. To each their own, except for the smoking crack part....

I am sorry for your experience -

is Meth. ( methamphetamine ) considered crack in your area ?
I don't think I have heard of crack in my home region in more than a decade, but meth. is prevalent.
also, in my non-urban setting, if the cell tower is out-of-service, that carrier may be out-of-service for an indefinite period of time.
Good luck with your app.s --

I am sorry for your experience, deephelmet.


skiJ

[JRainey]

I guess it's expected my comment opened a can of worms. Obviously there is benefit in baby monitors, but some redundancy in the system should be required if you're trying to push the envelope on the definition of "being responsible."

[Core Shot]

Oldest turns 16 tomorrow.
What a wild ride. Wouldn’t change it.
My greatest life accomplishment.

And I was expecting to not be a breeder.
Embrace the suck.
Things are going to be so quiet in a few more years. They’re not living in my basement. At least that’s the plan. Unless the wife intervened and won’t set them free.

[DeepHelmet]

I am sorry for your experience -

is Meth. ( methamphetamine ) considered crack in your area ?
I don't think I have heard of crack in my home region in more than a decade, but meth. is prevalent.
also, in my non-urban setting, if the cell tower is out-of-service, that carrier may be out-of-service for an indefinite period of time.
Good luck with your app.s --

I am sorry for your experience, deephelmet.


skiJ

Meth is way more prevalent here, but the particular incident I'm remembering involved crack cocaine.

My one and only just turned 18 and is heading to college next year. I've talked about it upthread so I wont hash it out again, but it seems like last week she was a screaming baby that wouldn't sleep for the first three months of her life. I'm really gonna miss having her around. Had what could've been our last ski day together for a while yesterday. Got the rope drop at Road to Provo. It was a great day.

[skinipenem]

I took it to mean he was talking about fire, but a quick google shows me that they have poop alarms too that would notify your phone. So I guess technology has solved that one too.

Block party opportunities abound!

Yep, fire. The fire emoji didn't come through. Lmao

Poop alarm sounds amazing! Just kidding, that's some serious helicopter parenting shit there.


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[skiJ]

. . .

My one and only just turned 18 and is heading to college next year. I've talked about it upthread so I wont hash it out again, but it seems like last week she was a screaming baby that wouldn't sleep for the first three months of her life. I'm really gonna miss having her around. Had what could've been our last ski day together for a while yesterday. Got the rope drop at Road to Provo. It was a great day.

Thank you, deephelmet -
paragraphs like yours are why I love this thread
( there was another great post yesterday, too )

Thank you for this ^^^.


skiJ

[zion zig zag]

If they were always usually with you, how did they get any sleep? We used baby monitors, 17 years ago, just to keep an ear on the kiddo while she slept - we didn't have any video. Pretty sure I'd never leave the house with a sleeping baby in it, but if others feel comfortable doing that, then you do you. We're all different parents. In my line of work I come across kids sleeping in milk crates while strangers smoke crack around them, so going next door for a beer while watching on your phone doesn't even register on my scale of bad parenting skills. To each their own, except for the smoking crack part....

Those kids had milk crates? Lucky!

[Garbowski]

Was at the sister-in-law's place checking out the new baby. They had an ipad with some fancy video monitoring software on it they got at a shower. I guess it had some sort of shirt with shapes on it the baby wore that could detect if the baby was breathing, but my SIL never tried it since it seemed really really dumb and would probably give her a heart attack for a false positive. The camera also monitored the temperature and humidity, in case of HVAC failure I guess.

[DeepHelmet]

Those kids had milk crates? Lucky!

Right?

[riser4]

Poop alarm? Did someone say poop alarm? No way. Oh, the possibilities.