Fatherhood anonymous; an open discussion on being a dad.

**lowsparkco** · 09-20-2023, 09:02 PM

SchralpMaccio - we’ll have to get together and ski sometime this winter.

As for the video games, most of you guys are intelligent and know this but it probably always bears a mention….. like most things that can be consumed in moderation. How early do you start them? How much time do you allow them to play? What is the content and is it appropriate for their age?

I typed this long response a few nights ago, but it came off too judgy so I deleted it. I think most educators as well as others who work with kids see some ill effects when it’s started too early, it’s used too often, and the content is too mature. I had a kid in a ski lesson last year that I think struggled due to too much gaming. His muscle tone and coordination were poor, but that could be from reading or playing music. The video games seem to give him an appetite for being really aggressive, and he wanted to ski really aggressively, unfortunately his fine motor skills were way behind his desire. It was hard to watch. His frustration level was very high because he was used to mastery in these games. It was like he was tricked into thinking he was an athlete because his “avatar” leaps buildings in a single bound. Anyways, maybe he’ll design the next hit game, retire at 25, and have millions to move to a ski town and take privates every day. But, unless that happens or he sits down the controller I think his life will continue to be richer inside the game.

**Buzzworthy** · 09-20-2023, 09:09 PM

Originally Posted by bodywhomper

Have a friend who’s first memory was related to being dropped. She was a little under 1.

Only because she was told all about and probably multiple times in detail. Psychology says you don’t remember those kind of details as your brain has barely formed.

**bodywhomper** · 09-20-2023, 09:45 PM

Originally Posted by Buzzworthy

Only because she was told all about and probably multiple times in detail. Psychology says you don’t remember those kind of details as your brain has barely formed.

Yeah. That seems most likely, which she understood. But she still claimed it. Very abstract memory.

**Art Shirk** · 09-20-2023, 11:31 PM

I’m not sure if I should be proud or horrified. My oldest is 12 next week. She just started middle school which is 6-8 grade.

Anyway, just tucked her in and stumbled across a box in her room full of cash. Like wads of it. And a small ledger with kids names in it and an amount next to their name.

Of course I asked her what was up and apparently she is engaging in prop bets at school. She bet one kid 50 bucks that there were 2 speed bumps on a certain road, not one. She bet another kid 15 bucks that she would score a goal at her soccer game this weekend. She won that one too. She bets some kids based on trivia questions. She says she never bets unless she knows she’s got a lock. And she told me that now that she has a solid amount of dough, she expects to up her bet amounts since she can cover whatever. She also asked me what she should do if people don’t pay her.

I obviously told her that she needs to shut this whole scheme down. I know most of the parents of all those kids and I can’t imagine if they found out my daughter was taking their meager allowances or dough from grandma.

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**Danno** · 09-20-2023, 11:42 PM

Holy shit!

**Danno** · 09-20-2023, 11:42 PM

She needs to hire some 9th grade muscle.

**Buzzworthy** · 09-20-2023, 11:49 PM

And pops better make it clear he’s not the bank if she hits a rough spot.

**Art Shirk** · 09-20-2023, 11:54 PM

If she has money on the street, I think I need to teach her about vigs

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**fatnslow** · 09-20-2023, 11:56 PM

That's next level. Can you ask her if I can have a loan ? What fucking middle schooler bets/pays $50 ? You better shut it down fast and quietly and expect a call from school if she's taken money from more than a few kids. I can see some Karen's losing their shit.

**subtle plague** · 09-20-2023, 11:58 PM

Yes! Your daughter has a gift for organized crime. Get in contact with the mob asap to foster her Talent

**Buzzworthy** · 09-21-2023, 12:00 AM

Yep.

But it’s really too bad you couldn’t just let her make a huge run before she enters retirement.

**Art Shirk** · 09-21-2023, 12:03 AM

Originally Posted by fatnslow

That's next level. Can you ask her if I can have a loan ? What fucking middle schooler bets/pays $50 ? You better shut it down fast and quietly and expect a call from school if she's taken money from more than a few kids. I can see some Karen's losing their shit.

This is what I’m worried about.

I share weird trivia with her every night and she has been using some of that for her bets and don’t need that coming out as if I’m aiding and abetting this. Won 10 bucks off a kid betting that spaghetto is singular for spaghetti.

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**subtle plague** · 09-21-2023, 12:27 AM

Originally Posted by Art Shirk

This is what I’m worried about.

I share weird trivia with her every night and she has been using some of that for her bets and don’t need that coming out as if I’m aiding and abetting this. Won 10 bucks off a kid betting that spaghetto is singular for spaghetti.

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Yeah try to sweep it all under the rug and hope the other kids don't snitch. Parents can be annoying " if someone takes advantage of their kids".

If the kids snitch, go back to my first advice

**schuss** · 09-21-2023, 05:32 AM

Originally Posted by subtle plague

Yeah try to sweep it all under the rug and hope the other kids don't snitch. Parents can be annoying " if someone takes advantage of their kids".

If the kids snitch, go back to my first advice

Maybe I'm a bad parent, but my response would be "maybe you should teach your kid about not betting on things they aren't sure of".

We've had to teach our son some hard lessons on pokemon card trading, and even had to shut down a complex "steal it back scheme" with "you traded it, you live with the consequences"

**oldnew_guy** · 09-21-2023, 10:13 AM

This is America. Offer to front her more money for a fee.

**Art Shirk** · 09-21-2023, 11:41 AM

Originally Posted by schuss

Maybe I'm a bad parent, but my response would be "maybe you should teach your kid about not betting on things they aren't sure of".

We've had to teach our son some hard lessons on pokemon card trading, and even had to shut down a complex "steal it back scheme" with "you traded it, you live with the consequences"

I would tell my daughter the same if she was on the losing end. But that doesn’t mean I can’t see where this is heading and provide some guidance to my daughter beyond “take the easy money.” Kids are dumb and don’t often understand the meaning of money, so I think while justifiable, the right thing to do is to not exploit that fact and stay off parental radars.

My kid can be dumb too and she may enter the bad consequence phase of this operation one day too. She’ll have to live with it, but I’d rather we didn’t get there.

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**Danno** · 09-21-2023, 12:22 PM

The way people are hypersensitive these days, I could see how that could be grounds for suspension or even expulsion. My kiddo said to her friend something like "I'm going to kill you!" jokingly, the way any kid might, and we got contacted by the school counselor. Gambling on school grounds, who knows?

**skinipenem** · 09-21-2023, 12:34 PM

Love the entrepreneurial spirit! Pretty awesome!

Agree put the kaibash on it asap. School administration and other patents may take issue.

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**mcphee** · 09-21-2023, 12:46 PM

I’m no big city school administrator but I’m sure gambling on school grounds has always been frowned upon and definitely not because people are hypersensistive.

**Core Shot** · 09-21-2023, 02:12 PM

What??

No dice?

No 3 card Monty???

**californiagrown** · 09-21-2023, 02:17 PM

Originally Posted by Art Shirk

She says she never bets unless she knows she’s got a lock.

Isnt that what the ALL say?

**schuss** · 09-21-2023, 02:22 PM

Originally Posted by Art Shirk

I would tell my daughter the same if she was on the losing end. But that doesn’t mean I can’t see where this is heading and provide some guidance to my daughter beyond “take the easy money.” Kids are dumb and don’t often understand the meaning of money, so I think while justifiable, the right thing to do is to not exploit that fact and stay off parental radars.

My kid can be dumb too and she may enter the bad consequence phase of this operation one day too. She’ll have to live with it, but I’d rather we didn’t get there.

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Yep, I get it (the school actually banned pokemon trading because of these types of issues). Though it teaches another good lesson of "don't get caught or bet with untrustworthy people".

**Adolf Allerbush** · 09-21-2023, 02:38 PM

A quick search didn't turn up anything on this so I'm hoping I didn't just miss it, but has anyone dealt with their kids being approached to be in Bible study groups associated with Young Life? I'm trying to think of a good way of kindly telling the family inviting one of my sons "no thanks" to the invite without ruining a friendship. My understanding is that Young Life is an Evangelical organization and that's just not our jam. I'm thinking I just be honest and tell them we don't really align with Evangelism and my son is busy with sports, band, etc. so for those reasons it's no can do. Anyone else deal with this before?

**oldnew_guy** · 09-21-2023, 02:45 PM

Originally Posted by Adolf Allerbush

A quick search didn't turn up anything on this so I'm hoping I didn't just miss it, but has anyone dealt with their kids being approached to be in Bible study groups associated with Young Life? I'm trying to think of a good way of kindly telling the family inviting one of my sons "no thanks" to the invite without ruining a friendship. My understanding is that Young Life is an Evangelical organization and that's just not our jam. I'm thinking I just be honest and tell them we don't really align with Evangelism and my son is busy with sports, band, etc. so for those reasons it's no can do. Anyone else deal with this before?

"Hi, sorry, right now we are to busy to add another extracurricular to our life."

Or you can go the more direct route and if they take that as some affront to a parental friendship...are they really friends?