Fatherhood anonymous; an open discussion on being a dad.

[SkiLyft]

^ that sounds brutal, bro. Good work sticking it out.

We had good luck with just never letting them in our bed at all. Little crib nearby for a while, wrapped or sleep-sacked, then to their room after a few months.

This is the way, little E was in her room by 4 weeks. Rock start sleeper. White noise, wrap or sleep sack, same bedtime routine (bath, lotion, story, 2-3 songs, bed).


Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

[TahoeJ]

There is no right way. Depends on the kid. Had three and some went into their own room faster than others, ranging from lightning quick to okay this is getting ridiculous.

[oldnew_guy]

Is the US aversion to cosleeping mainly related to the safety aspect?

This is what is pushed at the pediatricians office. I think the stats is that it usually happens to people that are overweight and using alcohol or drugs. So you know, Americans.

We also all go back to work in two weeks and have to typically have a dual income household so the capitalists can have their way with us instead of doing what other civilized people do so getting sleep overrides what people probably did for thousands of years which is a family bed.

[J. Barron DeJong]

There is no right way. Depends on the kid. Had three and some went into their own room faster than others, ranging from lightning quick to okay this is getting ridiculous.

Agree with this.

We thought we were genius parents cause we tried some shit and got our first sleeping through the night at about 2-3 months.

Second comes along and that old shit don’t work, and other shit doesn’t work, and it’s two years before they’re sleeping through the night with any consistency.

Then the first stops sleeping through the night…

I’d certainly try different things to see if you can find something that works. But don’t beat yourself up if it’s just not happening.

Also, things can just change in an instant for no rhyme or reason, so if things are bad right now, know that they’ll get better one way or another given some time. And if things are going well, enjoy it, but don’t get to cocky cause things can turn back

[TahoeJ]

^^ Exactly. I always advise new parents to be a little more hesitant about taking advice from people with only one kid, because they don't quite realize how damn different they can be.

The first was a real struggle getting to sleep. I have memories of dancing in the living room while rocking her to music at 2am. It was rough. And even later having to tip-toe out of her bed after reading stories. Our second was just boom, automatic and so easy, down to bed and in his own room after just a few weeks; his name is Austin and we nicknamed him "baby awesome" at the time. Always been a solid sleeper. Then we got cocky thinking maybe our parenting skills had just improved, which is maybe partially true, but the third ended up somewhere in the middle. It just varies.

[Todd Zander]

3 weeks in and baby girl is still getting 3-4 hour stretches, life is good.

[schuss]

Every kid is a sample size of 1

[The SnowShow]

^^ Exactly. I always advise new parents to be a little more hesitant about taking advice from people with only one kid, because they don't quite realize how damn different they can be.

The first was a real struggle getting to sleep. I have memories of dancing in the living room while rocking her to music at 2am. It was rough. And even later having to tip-toe out of her bed after reading stories. Our second was just boom, automatic and so easy, down to bed and in his own room after just a few weeks; his name is Austin and we nicknamed him "baby awesome" at the time. Always been a solid sleeper. Then we got cocky thinking maybe our parenting skills had just improved, which is maybe partially true, but the third ended up somewhere in the middle. It just varies.

Tiptoeing out the room
I used to do that as well as pray. There were so many times my wife or I would get up and at the door, our daughter would suddenly wake back up and as for us to stay.

Ours took awhile to learn to let herself fall asleep when she was tired. Instead, she just fought it and fought it.

[fatnslow]

Our youngest is a high school senior playing his last season of baseball. Wife and I are making sure we milk the last drop of sports spectating. Stood in the pouring rain yesterday as they called the game one inning in to it. Enjoyed every second of it cause we know when the season's over it'll be the last kid sporting event we attend. 23 years seemed to have gone very quickly. When it's seems incredibly difficult and maddening just take a breath and step back for a moment. It's all part of a spectacular journey.

[SkiLyft]

Pretty rad day in the dad world — first time seeing Ember on skis!!

She had a blast; watching your kids thrive is pretty much the best feeling in the world.





Pure stoke


Ended the session by eating some snow.






Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

[bourbonisgood]

Pretty rad day in the dad world — first time seeing Ember on skis!!

She had a blast; watching your kids thrive is pretty much the best feeling in the world.





Pure stoke


Ended the session by eating some snow.






Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

Awesome! Congrats on a successful first mission! Tomorrow will be the 18th and last day of the season for my 4yo. I’m bumming already. Sharing the love of skiing with them is priceless

[skinipenem]

So awesome!!

Sent from my SM-G998U using Tapatalk

[ghosthop]

Thank you to everyone that has indulged my hand-wringing, especially Norse and Harry for the well wishes.

What in the actual fuck is up with baby monitors? We thought it would be nice for mom to view the monitor over an app while she is at work. But everything seems to have horror stories about getting hacked and two-way talk allowing internet weirdos to talk to your kid. We need none of that.

Did anyone use an old ipad as monitor? Or do I need to become a network specialist or alternatively give up the idea that my wife can watch the baby sleep from outside the home?

[J. Barron DeJong]

Thank you to everyone that has indulged my hand-wringing, especially Norse and Harry for the well wishes.

What in the actual fuck is up with baby monitors? We thought it would be nice for mom to view the monitor over an app while she is at work. But everything seems to have horror stories about getting hacked and two-way talk allowing internet weirdos to talk to your kid. We need none of that.

Did anyone use an old ipad as monitor? Or do I need to become a network specialist or alternatively give up the idea that my wife can watch the baby sleep from outside the home?

We only used old school monitors, and the only time I would have wanted something more high tech was when we put the baby down and wanted to hang out at a block party at the end of the street.

If you’re not nearby, what good is it to be able to see what the baby is up to? Seemed to us that it would likely just add undue stress.

(I’m sure you’ll get varying options on this one)

[oldnew_guy]

Your wife doesn’t need to watch the kid remotely.

Buy a twenty dollar old school audio only one. It’s fine.

Remember, literally billions of babies have been raised without all of this techno crap that “makes your life easier”. Most of it is marketing preying on your fears as a parent.

[JRainey]

We only used old school monitors, and the only time I would have wanted something more high tech was when we put the baby down and wanted to hang out at a block party at the end of the street.

If you’re not nearby, what good is it to be able to see what the baby is up to? Seemed to us that it would likely just add undue stress.

(I’m sure you’ll get varying options on this one)

A toddler froze to death this Winter in Austria when it got outside looking for the parents. They were at the neighbor's with a baby monitor which wasn't working as they had planned.

Not saying that would happen to anyone, but something to keep in mind if you've considered this strategy.

[J. Barron DeJong]

A toddler froze to death this Winter in Austria when it got outside looking for the parents. They were at the neighbor's with a baby monitor which wasn't working as they had planned.

Not saying that would happen to anyone, but something to keep in mind if you've considered this strategy.

I’m not going to claim that there’s no potential benefit, so everyone will have to consider their own cost-benefit.

You don’t hear of stories like this all the time. I’d guess that the number of cases where babies were saved because of smart monitors is very low, and getting a respite from the baby can be very beneficial.

[oldnew_guy]

The simple solution is child proof knobs on exterior doors not fancy webcam thing. Toddlers can open doors and run out into the snow/street while you are watching TV, using the bathroom, cooking dinner, dealing with younger sibling etc.

[Mazderati]

I'm planning something more akin to a prison for little people.

[riser4]

I'm planning something more akin to a prison for little people.

Be warned that some of them are clever fucking escape artists. Thing#2 was really good at figuring out anything that didn't require a fucking key. The funniest and first incident was when he was 11mos. Couldn't even really talk. Little fucker took all of a second to defeat the child safety latches on the kitchen cupboard doors. He pulled on the first one, and when it didn't open, peered around the door at it, stuck his finger in to push the lever down, and presto, a whole morning's worth of work for nothing. He didn't even watch somebody do that and copy them. Figured it out on his own. 18 years later and he's majoring in mechanical engineering. Imagine that. I left the latches in place, for years. Mostly to remind myself of the folly.

[johnnyg82]

Thank you to everyone that has indulged my hand-wringing, especially Norse and Harry for the well wishes.

What in the actual fuck is up with baby monitors? We thought it would be nice for mom to view the monitor over an app while she is at work. But everything seems to have horror stories about getting hacked and two-way talk allowing internet weirdos to talk to your kid. We need none of that.

Did anyone use an old ipad as monitor? Or do I need to become a network specialist or alternatively give up the idea that my wife can watch the baby sleep from outside the home?

I use a Eufy Indoor Cam, and have it setup with HomeKit secure video. You would need an iPad or Apple TV or HomePod mini in the house as a hub for HomeKit to run through.

At one point Eufy’s non-HomeKit setup cameras were hacked, but the third-party viewing did not affect the HomeKit secure video connected cameras.

[skiJ]

I’m not going to claim that there’s no potential benefit, so everyone will have to consider their own cost-benefit.

You don’t hear of stories like this all the time. I’d guess that the number of cases where babies were saved because of smart monitors is very low, and getting a respite from the baby can be very beneficial.

Dude -

If you are advocating for leaving a baby alone in a house or even an apartment so you can 'get "a respite from the baby ( can be very beneficial)" ' , ,,, you have no business being a parent.

' but we were monitoring with our ( "smart" ) cellphone '


Bad. really Bad.

skiJ

[TahoeJ]

Dude -

If you are advocating for leaving a baby alone in a house or even an apartment so you can 'get "a respite from the baby ( can be very beneficial)" ' , ,,, you have no business being a parent.

' but we were monitoring with our ( "smart" ) cellphone '


Bad. really Bad.

skiJ

Oh stop. This is perfectly normal if you’re down the street at a neighbors or whatever and can get back quickly. Kind of a dick response.

[MagnificentUnicorn]

Oh stop. This is perfectly normal if you’re down the street at a neighbors or whatever and can get back quickly. Kind of a dick response.

No, it’s not perfectly normal to leave an infant unattended in a house, even if you’re down the street. Wtf?

Oh sorry it’s inconvenient and stressful to be present as a parent right now, I need a break. No wonder the world is going to shit.


Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

[J. Barron DeJong]

Dude -

If you are advocating for leaving a baby alone in a house or even an apartment so you can 'get "a respite from the baby ( can be very beneficial)" ' , ,,, you have no business being a parent.

' but we were monitoring with our ( "smart" ) cellphone '


Bad. really Bad.

skiJ

Are you kidding? Did you and your wife ever sleep at the same time, or did you take rolling shifts so someone had eyes on the kid at all times?