My son wants a dog

[warthog]

AC talked to him a bit today and it's less tragic than that. They've owned several dogs and the current dog is 14 so they decided it was time for the next one. It worked out for most of the year since they spent so much extra time at home. Now that things are more normal it's become clear that their lives became much busier without them realizing it. The 14 yo is fine being home by himself all the time, but this little guy isn't. It sounds like they're really sad to give him up. They've spent a lot of money on him and aren't really trying to get any of it back, just want a good home.

It might be an ideal situation all around. YOLO. My dog/his dog is great advice. It sounds like this breed can vary a lot in size so we'll see how big he is tomorrow. I looked at scores of dog ads today and he was the only one that really spoke to me.

Got a recommendation for a smaller breed to look for if this doesn't work out?

I have researched tons of dogs and always go back to what I grew up with. Boston's.
My current BT Georgia is 17 lbs. My first one growing up was tiny, like 10 lbs. My boy Monte was 23 lbs of pure muscle.
They are basically a Boxer in a smaller package. Similar energy, but way smarter. They don't shed, have very few major health issues, and they are almost always the biggest dog in any situation. They think they are Rottweilers.

Another really cool breed is Staffordshire Terriers. If you research them, they used to be called nanny dogs in England because people would just leave their kids with them. They are smaller than 40 lbs and super loyal. They have that "Pit" look, but they are just big babies.

I only do bully breeds. Can't help you on any of those long nose dogs. I like my dogs to have people faces.

Current situation- Georgia


Monte-


Monte and his sister Sadie(my wife's dog- she kept stealing Monte)


I love this breed. They are just awesome in every way. Biggest small dog in the world. Probably not much of a biking partner. Definitely not a dog you want to take touring.

[DJSapp]

Fwiw, I got my first dog at age 6 until I was 19. Between my brother and I we fed him daily and picked up the poop every week. I had a couple geckos from ages 12 to 17 and neglected the piss out of it. Lizards aren't dogs.

In my adult life, both of my dogs are rescues. Got them as puppies, both are great family dogs. A good rescue will take care of all shots and fixing them and have a no questions asked return if the dog isn't working out. Tell them your house life situation and be truthful. They're great at matching the right dog with the right family.

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[neufox47]

I highly recommend a 1/4 Border collie, 1/4 German short hair pointer, 1/4 Labrador, 1/8 German Shepard and 1/8th whippet.

If you can bring the dog into your family and not leave him solo all the time I highly recommend it and think you’ll find it incredibly rewarding. Trained adult dogs are not at ALL like toddlers, they are way easier, well behaved and reasoned with.

Discuss in detail what you expect your kid to do and get his buy in on doing it. You will walk the dog at least once a day, feed the dog twice a day, etc. have him mark it down on a calendar. It can be a good experience for your kid if managed. No he isn’t going to do it all but think if he actually did at least one walk and feeding every day.

I don’t know if children who dealt with loss have different experiences with a pet / dog than the general population and if there are any benefits for the child beyond normal. A quick google search didn’t return anything useful, and I’m no child psychologist, but it stands to reason there maybe some benefits.

[MyNameIsAugustWest]

Where you stand depends on where you sit....

20 years ago, we adopted an 18 month old, 85 lb Chocolate Lab from a family forced to downsize (military move) and didn't want the dog to suffer. Kids promised to walk him, take care of him, etc, etc. Of course none of that happened. He became my dog and I was happy for it. I was getting out of the military at the time and he hiked with me, ran 4-5 miles every morning with me, and was a great dog. When we had him put down (cancer), he was almost 14. First time I had cried since I was a small child.

We had gotten another Lab (puppy this time) about 4 years before the first one passed. Greatest Lab ever. Only chewed up 1 pair of slippers as a puppy. I swear, she never got into any more trouble than that. Kids promised to take care of her also (2 were already in college at this point). They never did and she also became my dog. Not a great touring partner because she always tried to jump on my skis (that cost us a very expensive trip to a vet on a Sunday...) but ran with me, hiked with me...great dog. She'll be 14 in 2 weeks. The inevitable tragedy is very near. I'm glad we got that dog and I will likely bawl like a 4-year-old when she passes.

Once all of our kids were out of the house my wife wanted a purpose in life...she wanted to train a dog she could take to visit wounded veterans. I was against this idea. I knew she wouldn't follow through and I would end up with another dog that was 100% my responsibility. So almost 8 years ago, she finds a breeder that is delivering Yellow Labs that are almost redheads (Fox Red Lab). Cutest goddamn things I've ever seen. I was still against it because I knew I was nearing retirement and did not want to be tied down with another dog. She ended up getting the dog even though I asked her not to. That dog is a true redhead. She's horrible. Doesn't get along with strange dogs, gets in the trash at every opportunity, eats anything on the counter that is not booby-trapped...she'll be 8 in May and has shown no signs of becoming a good dog. Loving, absolutely, but the worst behaved dog I've ever been around. I'm retiring in September. We talked last night about where we want to go for our first big adventure...Australia. But we can't because none of my kids will take this hellhound we own and even though I regret having the dog, I cannot put it in a kennel for a month. She is exceptionally loving but also extremely high energy and just will not behave (yes, she's been through several training regimens). She is exactly like Marlie. I regret having this dog and I feel like I'm stuck for the next 5-6 years and can't live the life that I worked 45 years for.

So that's my sad story...from where it sounds like you are in your life, I would get a dog but just be aware of the length of time you will be obligated to take care of it and plan accordingly.

[Vt-Freeheel]

"But two out of three ain't bad" ^^

This is all I gots

[I Skied Bandini Mountain]

.

That's a "I'm gonna fuck those squirrels up" game face.

[MontuckyFried]

Don't wanna be stuck with it for eternity? Maybe adopt a well trained, elderly dog.

Hand down the BEST dog I've ever had was an old Sheltie. Her owner had to surrender her to the shelter because he was going to an assisted living home and they didn't allow pets. It was obvious she had a good life with him and he must've spent a lot of time training her since she came knowing all the commands I could throw at her. Dog was so perfectly well behaved, damn near telepathic, smart as hell, but such a loving animal. She LOVED people. Made all other dogs I knew (and had at the time) seem like a bunch of morans. Gorgeous animal too. Looked just like Lassie. Overall just a real spoiler. Only got to enjoy her for a few years before she died of old age but goddam I loved that dog. SO glad I got to have that time with her.

I understand your fear of not wanting to be stuck with your "kid's" dog for the next 20 years, so don't get a small dog. I've seen chihuahuas last like 20+ years! Seems the best dogs live the shortest and the worst dogs live the longest. Ain't that how it goes? Haha.

[Cono Este]

^^^^ that’s why I like herding dogs. They are smart.

My last dog was a 2 yr old Aussie rescue. Find one from a good rescue organization and it will be hard to go wrong.

I’m in the mkt for a new dog, but not in a rush. The dog will find me.



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[RustyGroomer]

Bostons are the best Warthog. Ours go just about everywhere with us.

Olive



Mookie



Not great in the cold but they're pretty good @ hunkering down in the winter. I'm sold on the little dogs with big personalities from now on. Look into Bostons Dantheman

[MontuckyFried]

^^^^ that’s why I like herding dogs. They are smart.

Seriously! Going from a super smart herding breed like my old Sheltie to my wife's half lab (RIP), was quite the contrast. LOVE the "perpetually hammered college freshman" description North said at the beginning of this thread. The Sheltie seemed so stately and sophisticated compared to the lab mutt who was constantly rolling in and eating poop, but also constantly making me laugh with her antics. There is certainly a bit of an appeal to either approach, but WOW what a world of difference. Definitely pick a dog based on YOUR personality and lifestyle.

I’m in the mkt for a new dog, but not in a rush. The dog will find me.

That is actually a really great tip. Seems any time I know people with totally psycho, terrible dogs with all sorts of behavior issues, it's been because the wife/gf is like "I WaNT A doG NOW!!!" and they get one that day. So they make a hasty decision and pick out some random dog from the shelter, foster program, or pet store.

If you put some real thought into the traits you're looking for, where you and the dog really complement each other instead of being at odds, and take the time to find a good match, then you'll be setting yourself up for better odds of success. At least OP's not taking this decision lightly. I wish more people did that.

[::: :::]

My husky barked at people with cancer.
We never understood why he would choose to bark at certain people.
He was pretty much quiet all the time, but if particular people tried to pet him, he’d bark at them.
My uncle was the one who made it clear for us. We knew he had lymphoma and he was otherwise a very dog friendly guy.
We also had a neighbor who we found out later had been battling cancer that our dog would bark at.
It was so strange at the time, but a real eye opener when we figured out the commonality.

[ThreeRidges]

How does that Boxador I posted fit into this advice?

Easy. You get the hyper craziness and aggressiveness of a boxer, who also is a perpetually hammered college freshman.

I know they have their fans, but boxer is literally the only breed I will steer away from at the dog park


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[fatnslow]

My husky barked at people with cancer.
We never understood why he would choose to bark at certain people.
He was pretty much quiet all the time, but if particular people tried to pet him, he’d bark at them.
My uncle was the one who made it clear for us. We knew he had lymphoma and he was otherwise a very dog friendly guy.
We also had a neighbor who we found out later had been battling cancer that our dog would bark at.
It was so strange at the time, but a real eye opener when we figured out the commonality.

Did you pimp him out for cancer screening with a fee ? That would be so PDX.

[::: :::]

We didn’t understand the bark thing until he was old. This was in my dc metro days growing up

[panchosdad]

That is actually a really great tip. Seems any time I know people with totally psycho, terrible dogs with all sorts of behavior issues, it's been because the wife/gf is like "I WaNT A doG NOW!!!" and they get one that day. So they make a hasty decision and pick out some random dog from the shelter, foster program, or pet store.

I.

We did this, picked out a dog from his profile pic on the shelter website. Worked out great in fact, but we knew more or less what we wanted. I guess my point is don't over think it, it'll always be a bit of luck of the draw. We've had 3 mixed lab/herding dogs, all with distinct personalities. Lucky Dog has been the best of the bunch though, perfect mix of chill and fun/smart.

[Danno]

Not all "rescue" dogs are created alike. I didn't win the battle with my wife, our 2 dogs now (goldendoodle and black lab) were both acquired as little puppies (though the lab was rescued), but I always wanted a rescue dog that had been fostered. Because then the foster family can tell you lots about the dog (and they're not inclined to lie, if a dog shows issues they will tell you, because they don't want the adoption to fail).

But the reality is, there is no "right" or "wrong" way to go about getting a dog, or rather, there are lots of great dogs out there and you can get a great dog using any method. And while there are very occasionally (lovable) shithead dogs, most dogs are good dogs if they have good owners.

[Danno]

That said, this place may help make up your mind.
https://www.reddit.com/r/dadswhodidnotwantpets/

Sometimes I think there is a subreddit for absolutely every subject under the sun.

[stealurface831]

Sometimes I think there is a subreddit for absolutely every subject under the sun.

you think correctly

[mooseknuckle]

Here’s a thought if you want to potentially avoid the most destructive puppy months and have a fully trained dog that is well behaved - and it may also buy you some time. Our last 2 have been lab flunkies from a local service dog training program. You have to get in line and we selected them after rejecting several others who were described as ‘special needs’. They come to you around 1YO and are expertly trained. They required a donation in our case of $800-1000, but it was well worth that investment, which happens to benefit a wonderful cause. Worked great for us and I think we’ll probably do it again sometime.

I have pondered at times that I wish some dogs had the life expectancy of humans and some humans had the life expectancy of dogs, but I’ll save those further musings. Parting is terribly difficult with fur friends.

[jackstraw]

Such as?

Yeah, that's a key question. Good info in here.

Labs are pretty awesome with children, although it's all in the training for every breed. I had a rescue rotty/lab mix and he was the best dog I've ever had. My kids were babies and they'd trip over his head and he wouldn't even notice. Could run on the sidewalk with no leash and he never left my side.

I have labs now and they love to mtn bike and ski. Although as they age the mtn biking can be too fast/too long depending on where you ride. Utah has some long fast DH that wouldn't be ideal for that breed. Here we have so many switchbacks and slower tech its suited pretty well for that breed. My older yellow one just takes shortcuts and chills once she's learned the trail anyway.

The knuckleheads stoked for the ride.

[DJSapp]

I regret having this dog and I feel like I'm stuck for the next 5-6 years and can't live the life that I worked 45 years for.

And DTM, if you read between the lines here, you'll see that even 'hellhounds' are loveable family members that when you're truly faced with the decision, you won't abandon a family member to go pursue life. August here could simply surrender the dog to a rescue, where it would likely find a new happy home and he could go enjoy retirement. Sad as his story sounds, there is enough unwritten love here that giving up the dog never even entered the narrative. It's something that is easy to take for granted when you have a dog that you're met with unconditional love every single day.

[easyrdr]

I've had some good and bad rescues. I've never had a bad puppy. For a first time dog owner I would go the puppy route. Leaving too much to chance with a rescue.

I think you would be surprised how easy a dog would fit into your life. Adding a dog is lot like adding a kid to the family but in many ways easier. While there is work involved the benefits far outweigh it. Without a doubt it will definitely end up being you or your wife's dog.

My grandparents bred German Shepards for a long time. We have never had less than two large breed dogs in my house from when I was born to now. At the height of things we had 4 large breed dogs, never again. Now we are down to 2. While I feed, exercise, and pick up the poop, my 5 year old is completely and totally attached to our 110lb Malamute. If you can't find my son you just have to find the dog, he is glued to him if he is awake. My 16 year old picked out our other dog when she was 8, it was supposed to be her dog and she has no interest in it whatsoever. I never cared for the dog at first but over time we found our groove.

A good dog has good owners. You don't want your dog to chew stuff or shit in the house, just need to train him. My dogs are 8 and 10, they have not shit in the house ever. The best thing you can do is put in a dog door so they can come and go as they please. We have had one for 15 years now and I can't remember the last time a dog did anything in our house though I have plenty of stories pre dog door days.

Stick with the happy go lucky easy breeds, stay away from the strong willed and high energy fuckers.

Do it dude, you will get a new level of hero status in your sons eyes and sky's the limit with the wife, agreeing to a dog should get you guaranteed sex for at least a month or two right?

[stealurface831]

Guys, I shit you not. Moments after I posted my wife texted me asking me to look for the Hydrogen Peroxide to make our dog puke. He got in to questionable looking poop. How? I don't know. Last my wife and I discussed the dog was supposed to be on leash in this area moving forward. I sense a post for the I love My Wife and All thread coming.

dan, if you get anything with lab, keep hydrogen peroxide stocked.

[Conundrum]

A kid and their dog is a pretty special thing. Dogs are work but I've always loved them. Had them as a kid until now. My parents watched a dog for me for a couple years in school when I couldn't have a dog where I lived. Hanging with my pup was the best part of visiting home. Only couple years I haven't had a dog around. Terrible thing to experience having to decide to put them down. Our dogs, except one, have always found us and have always been good dogs. The old timer I put down a couple summers ago was a pound pup I picked out. Great little cow dog. Still miss him but so many great memories.

Typing this on very little sleep because our three month old pup woke me up at four. It was a good news wake up though because he wanted to poop outside this time. Small victories...

Tough call to bring one into the house. We stressed over the latest but finally said F' it and took him. We're having a blast but have to remember all the puppy issues are temporary.

[The Tortoise]

Ha, we just went through the exact same scenario. Everyone else wanted a dog, I didn't for the usual variety of valid reasons. So we got a dog. He's been a great dog and we love him. But, I do kinda wish we hadn't got him. He can be a pain in the ass, and I find having to sort out the logistics to be a annoying (mostly finding people to watch him when do shit. And if I am honest with myself, would have preferred we didn't get him. We have two kids (9 &11) and shit is busy enough as it is.

I've been told that Mom and the kid will do everything to take of the dog and I can have as little involvement as I'd like. I think there's a 0% probability that actually happens. Like me, Mom has never owned a dog in her entire life and I think she's vastly underestimating what's involved.

Zero chance. I'm pretty disappointed in how most of the responsibilities have fallen on my lap.

But, we bought the ticket, we're taking the ride.