Why arent Releasable poles straps the standard?

[SumJongGuy]

Treeline Cirque is a lift at Alpine Meadows with two unloading spots, with a sign at the first one reminding people to keep their poles up and bunch of broken poles on display to prove the point. You have to ride TC before you can claim you never have a pole incident. This is a lift riding challenge.

I've ridden countless lifts with mid stations. Rode one all day earlier this month. Couple years ago on that lift I was riding up with a new skier and talking with them. They wrecked their poles at that same mid station. I handed him my poles at the top when we were getting off and took his destroyed ones down to the trash. I had another set of poles in my ski box.

And yes, challenge accepted if I'm ever out that way. It will be fun to prove you wrong face to face..

[old goat]

If I accept this challenge what’s the payout? $1,000? Bitcoin or cash? Are you covering travel expenses?

Sorry, the challenge is only for SJG. I spot him a day pass and his kid too if he wants to bring him, win or lose.
(Fell today for no good reason on an easy slope--left one pole high and one pole low, and on the flat slope my bad knees couldn't stand me up without poles. Had to get out of both skis to get up and retrieve my poles. Embarrasking. But I'm not going back to straps. Yet.)

[Core Shot]

Oh goodness no, it's so much more than that. Ala Princess Bride, let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.

Bushwacker seems to have started a thread aimed at driving hits to a video he made about how awesome detachable pole straps are, because he asserts you can't ski right without pole straps and using pole straps could hurt you if you get a pole caught in a tree. Pole straps were debated and found wanting. The best reason for straps anyone could come up with was skating, and new technique was taught to eliminate that need. New consensus: pole straps suck and should all be burned like witches in Monty Python. My personal views on pole straps may or may not have colored that part of the summation.

Side note: 8 year-olds carrying their skis Texas-suitcase style up the Highlands hike were determined to be boss moves and the only good use of pole straps.

There are now a few videos of an apparently nearly impossible-to-ski death chute in Vermont or Nova Scotia or something with Bush skiing it, and several declarations from Bush that essentially no maggots can ski it besides him and a couple other crunchy Vermont guys. Apparently the chute responds well to granola or something. Unclear.

Some Mags may or may not have been offended by the tone of the videos and posts. Bush was accused of double pole planting by Mustonen, which resulted in Bush challenging him to a duel, feats of strength. and a battle of wits. Sorry, nope, Princess Bride again. Ski off. SKI OFF. Bush offered Mustonen $1,000 if he could ski the chute. Mustonen is trying to decide if he wants to do that since it doesn't really cover expenses, apparently. Others are trying to get in on the action without success. I think SoVTJoey is angling for $37 or something. But apparently, according to Bush, SoVTJoey declined the offer so maybe this chute is more gnar than it appears.

Ok, I'm getting fuzzy again. Let's see... Dee Hubbs gave everyone some lessons in math, which I fear I did not score well on. Through that process, it was determined that the chute is between 35 and 135 ... something. Either slope or degrees. Not sure. Bush says he makes it look flatter cause he actually knows what he's doing.

Then there was some bullshit about freedom units and beer. Also there was a short snippet about the Rontele crew's exploits.

Bush has threatened to sue TGR to dox people. I understand the server room has lawyered up. Also, apparently Bush owes someone $50 for something. Bacon maybe? Skis? Apparently it was like 10 years ago so it's now $357,783 with interest.

Bush thanked Dee and Must for defending him, which confused the shit out of me. I thought I knew how to read. Guess not. Pfluffenmeister wants everyone to know that YOU CANNOT DEFEAT HIS SNAKE STYLE and bennymac wants to know HOW CAN HE BE COMPENSATED. Acid was discussed and - praise Jesus - ski-offs seem to be on the rise. Damn - I almost forgot, Bush says he skis 140 days per year, squats 400lbs, leg presses 700lbs and has 30" thighs. Seems pertinent. Those are impressive numbers all around.

Ad Hominem was defined but I'm still too dumb to understand. Also, something about a dolphin in a $135 helmet which is somewhat confusing. Also, to personally editorialize, as someone who skis out west in places where there are things like rocks and drop-offs and cliffs and places with names like Body Bag Chute, I cannot understand what is so enticing or difficult about this Long Trail Chute thing in the video, but to be fair I have hit my head hard enough to crack my helmet in half so I am, I understand, what they call an "unreliable narrator." Which seems rude to me, but whatever.

Finally, I'd like to personally thank everyone involved for all the entertainment and pulling back into the fold a number of long lost mags. Great result. This thread has apparently returned us to the golden age of TGR. Also, candlesticks make a nice present.

Did I get everything?

Nope.

Having just gotten halfway into this epic thread,

You missed the EWG Connundrum shart night.

That was the highlight so far.

[Core Shot]

I just wanted to post in this epic thread to say I've made a lot of ski poles and maybe even released some straps NTTIAWT..

Signed a former knuckledragging life link employee.


Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using TGR Forums mobile app

I hate to get serious in this thread.

But if you could make original skinny carbon lifelink poles I would buy two pair.

Best poles ever.

Be like Marshall Olsen. Bring back the good gear.

[EWG]

Nope.

Having just gotten halfway into this epic thread,

You missed the EWG Connundrum shart night.

That was the highlight so far.

In my defense Rontele made both Connudrum and I sign a non-disclosure agreement after the Tupac incident, so we probably said too much already.

[Conundrum]

Not only is Rontele a prophet and prolific gear rep around these parts, but also an attorney. Any further comments or questions on any pertinent matters should be directed to him via private message.

[SirVicSmasher]

Serious question: I've heard all the " uh you can't swim in an avie argument", but I've never seen a victim with poles attached to them. (maybe there are). And I've heard of few people who were in such a mellow avie that they actually tried to swim. Usually it's more like "I ragdolled and hung on for dear life". And if the avie releases my skis (which are way more of an anchor pulling you down) , it certainly "releases" my poles. I've never had them on me when I crashed hard. And how do you destroy your shoulder with them In the trees? I mean for the pole to get stuck and not destroy the basket, or just pull you out of the strap you'd have to be really unlucky?
Having said that, I must admit my straps are usually very loose. Maybe that's the difference.

I really don't get it.

My shoulder will never be the same. I get it now .

Sent from my SM-G981U using Tapatalk

[SB]

My old BD adjustable poles had a simple fastex buckle on the strap. Ended up loosing a strap while bushwacking thru a rhodie thicket.