bullshit your dog gets into

[stealurface831]

i've got two labs. they are always getting into something. one is more retarded than the other and i ended up pulling a pair of underwear out of his ass the other day when he couldn't shit it out. share instances of your dogs fuckery.

[ötzi]

oh man. you win.

[riser4]

Labs are amazing in that regard. And known for it.

[Choss Jonger, Sr.]

Hi, my name is Zappa and I am a coprophage.

[stealurface831]

Labs are amazing in that regard. And known for it.

absolutely.

he loves napkins too. always snatches them off of plates headed for the sink. a tricky little bastard.

[BC.]

Yellow Lab....

-Neighbors compost pile....full of god knows what....

[bodywhomper]

Lab/bloodhound mix

Indoor garbage cans. Any food on a surface. Occasionally, wood next to the stove stacked for burning. Underwear (clean or dirty). Deer shit (his favorite. We call them “Tashi Treats”). TP. Kleenex. Dish sponge. Toothbrushes. Kid’s toys. Art supplies. Kids homework. Random pieces of paper. Most recently, he’s taking a liking to raw potatoes. Yesterday he ate a box of bandaids that was sitting on the counter, but I got the neosporin out of his mouth before he pierced the tube.

[dannynoonan]

My dog ate a whole diaper one time. I was quite certain that was gonna kill him, but sure enough came out the other end over the next couple days. Whatever chemicals they put in there to absorb piss did wierd things to his poop though, it was all granular n jelly-like.

[dannynoonan]

Had another dog who would go on walkabout in the country for a few days on end and sometimes come home with a deer's entire leg, like, hoof to shoulder, rotten as fuck n crawling with maggots. He lived to 18 or so.

[PB]

Thanks guys, now I don't feel so bad about our old male doberman. There was an infamous night wherein the hall and family room walls got sprayed with chocolate sauce. Non-sleep ensued. It was triggered by noshing on a potted succulent.

[BobMc]

Our new dog is a toilet paper/kleenex lover. She’s an equal opportunity eater, she’ll grab used tissues out of the bathroom garbage or eat toilet paper right off the roll. We’re not used to religiously shutting the bathroom doors so she’s well fed.

[ill-advised strategy]

The other day:


Here he is this fall, snout covered in some gelatinous dead thing:

[Norseman]

Grew up with a sweetheart of a black lab that became crazy for fireworks as she aged. We learned of this new obsession when she dragged a 300lb log through a big fire pit to get to the little bullshit kids sparkle fountain 40 ft away.

The worst bullshit she got into, however, was during the neighborhood Y2K celebration.

My dad bought a two-thousand-pack of black cats for the occasion which came in this huge roll. He unrolled it and worked in his own fuse cord so that 10 at a time would go off.

When the clock struck midnight he lit the thing, and like 5 seconds into it the dog broke free and charged into the middle of the fray. We caught glimpses of wild eyes and snapping jaws amidst the insane thrumming barrage. There was nothing to do but watch in horror, fully expecting a bloody pulp at the end... but it was over in 30 seconds and she was fine. The happiest she had ever been.

She came away with huge pupils, temporary deafness, holes burned in her fur and tongue, all whiskers and eyebrows burned completely off... and a shit eating grin.

[BCMtnHound]

Oh my. Memories from the stories here. Looking after a brushing crew that was mostly made up of recent immigrants from India. Part of the contract prework was discussions about how to poop in the woods cause of certain, er, cultural differences. It was a difficult concept to get across, but overall great crews to work with. But I had to stop bringing my dogs (two generations worth). I'd be walking the brushing area, and pup would come back out of the shrubs licking their chops and very pleased with themselves. No doggie kisses today, thank you very much.
Our current Lexa is not so much on the taste as smearing the most foul rotten flesh - preferably fish, but any carrion will do - or feces all over her mane and jowls. Again, a strange preference to deposits from hominids for said smearing and rolling in. She just doesn't understand why she needs to be dunked in the closest waterbody, or even worse, humiliated by getting hosed off and shampooed with baby soap. The hurt is real and she will sulk for hours after.

But we love them anyways!

[detuned]

worked in a shop where the office gal had five border collies, yeah five

weirdest story she had was about one of em got into her husband's tool grip and ate some razor blades, she told me that was the most expensive doggo surgery ever. removed three from her stomach and one from her intestine

[old goat]

Our cockapoo likes to eat the crotch out of my wife's underwear. Just the crotch. She loves to dive in the water to retrieve a flip flop--she puts labs to shame. Sometimes I see people trying to get their young labs to retrieve from the water and the dog is not having it. I like to bring Cleo down to show off and embarrass the lab.

Our late cocker, when she was about 6 months old unzipped my then high school son's sleepover buddies gym bag, brought a bag of marijuana downstairs and placed it in the middle of the living room floor and sat next to it looking at us. I'm sure I've posted that before.
She also would get our son's wallet and remove all the cards and money without any damage to any of it.
She loved Xmas--she could tell which present was hers and tear it open. Usually she didn't care much about the toy inside unless it was a chew, she mainly loved the opening part.
When she was a puppy a friend gave her a stuffed dolphin plush toy--very delicate--which she tossed around with her teeth for 15 years until she died. The dolphin is still as good as new. Isabel had a soft mouth--what you'd expect for a dog bred to retrieve small birds.

[bagtagley]

Our yellow is also partial to old tissues. He’s figured out how the foot pedal works on the bathroom trash can. Luckily he’s too noisy to be sneaky.

He ate a box and a half of Little Debbie treats our neighbor left for the kids. Box, plastic and all. Think it was a whole box of brownies and half a box of Devil Dogs.

We used to have a little terrier that would house crayons. Made for some colorful lawn art. Also had to keep an eye out for the used condom he ate.

[lifelinksplit]

Man. I def have 2nd dog syndrome. Had a GSD/wolf mix who never left my side and skied a shitload of classic lines died of a brain tumor at 4. Then in my infinite wisdom decided to get a husky. After going to court because of his awesome vocal abilities I should've known what I got into. Then multiple trips of "He'll prob be back in a few(6-8)hrs". Actually before that he ate a dozen flies and lodged one or two in his throat. Then I ran him over at a jobsite....so he proceeded to eat an entire puck of rat poison hours away from a vet...he also had/has an affinity for chasing grizzly bears.


Oh did I mention he's been almost blind from birth.

He's also 13 yrs old and begging for pizza right now.

I like dags.

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[BobMc]

“Y’all got any of that toilet paper?”

[TAFKALVS]

My dog has literally both eaten and rolled in bull shit.

[snowaddict91]

^yeah. Friggin cow pies. At least once or twice a summer, I give a dog a bath in a freezing ass creek. He looks cute and innocent but he just got a trailside bath after he rolled in a nice, mushy cow pie.



I've also cleaned up cow pie vomit off the living room rug.

He also eats dog shit, sometimes as the other one is producing it. 2nd dog syndrome for sure.

[Mofro261]

Had a Lab/Springer mix we dubbed the "urban hunter" because he would roam and steal food off of people's back decks and porches during winter. Butch brought home a spiral ham, a lasagna, and a bag of burritos on separate occasions. With burrito day, he brought back 2 singles over a couple of hrs that my little brother microwaved for him, so few hours later he showed up with the whole bag and the remaining 10 of the 12 pack.

[bodywhomper]

My dog ate a whole diaper one time. I was quite certain that was gonna kill him, but sure enough came out the other end over the next couple days. Whatever chemicals they put in there to absorb piss did wierd things to his poop though, it was all granular n jelly-like.

Thx for the reminder. At the trailhead after a family ski tour a few weeks ago, dog grabbed something in the parking area. I thought it was general trash. It took me a few minutes of coaxing with my hands in his mouth to get it out... a dirty diaper.... damnit!

[tgapp]

“Y’all got any of that toilet paper?”

lol I just can't get over that face, 10/10

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[neufox47]

We had Rocky for all of a week and he stuck his nose into a pile of cut grass and snorted a foxtail right up there. Sedation, 1 removed foxtail, back at it. 2 months later he did the same damn thing. Thank goodness for pet insurance.

He also likes cat poop. He doesn’t have anything on the neighbors dog though who knocked over our garbage can and tore into the bag of dirty diapers. Luckily he was smart enough to not eat the diaper, but he licked at least half a dozen poop diapers clean. I’m pretty comfortable around dirty diapers at this point but that about made me puke.


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