bullshit your dog gets into

**schindlerpiste** · 02-26-2021, 07:27 AM

Originally Posted by muted

problem was not the dog, it was an 'in bread' owner who would not control his dog or even figure out what a leash is.

Yes, as a 16 year Old I should have put him down. Can always count on you to be a douchenozzle. Muted, Perfect user name

**BmillsSkier** · 02-26-2021, 08:42 AM

Originally Posted by XXX-er

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Herriot

good series of books about an english country vet treating mostly dogs

Originally Posted by Mustonen

I read all of his books, multiple times, as a kid. For a time all I wanted was to be a vet. Forgot about them, though. Thanks for the reminder.

Loved these books as a kid. I'm pretty sure they're the reason I always wanted a Border Collie after having nothing but Samoyeds growing up. I'll never go back now.

Might be time to start reading his books to my kid.

**Timberridge** · 02-26-2021, 09:06 AM

Yeah, unfortunately kids don't read much anymore. They'd rather watch videos on their phones of other kids hitting each other over the head with coconuts or something.

**BmillsSkier** · 02-26-2021, 09:11 AM

Originally Posted by XXX-er

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Herriot

good series of books about an english country vet treating mostly dogs

Originally Posted by Timberridge

Yeah, unfortunately kids don't read much anymore. They'd rather watch videos on their phones of other kids hitting each other over the head with coconuts or something.

Mine just started reading and he really likes reading Herriot's "Only One Woof", mostly cause the illustrations look like our dog. I'll take anything over the damned iPad/KindleFire/Switch zombie machines though.

**billyk** · 02-26-2021, 09:31 AM

Originally Posted by XXX-er

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Herriot

good series of books about an english country vet treating mostly dogs

My wife is binge watching “All Creatures Great and Small”, which is supposed to be based on his books. I think parts of the show are amusing. I’m starting to come around to it.

**muted** · 02-26-2021, 09:54 AM

Originally Posted by schindlerpiste

Yes, as a 16 year Old I should have put him down. Can always count on you to be a douchenozzle. Muted, Perfect user name

Ha, why would you put him down? Just use a leash.

**schindlerpiste** · 02-26-2021, 10:32 AM

Walking in the woods and at 10:00pm = no people

**riser4** · 02-26-2021, 10:32 AM

Originally Posted by muted

Ha, why would you fucking put him down? Just use a fucking leash you inbred motherfucker.

Fify

**schindlerpiste** · 02-26-2021, 10:38 AM

OK, I laughed. Obviously, he hit a nerve

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**muted** · 02-26-2021, 10:51 AM

Originally Posted by schindlerpiste

Walking in the woods and at 10:00pm = no people

But we clearly are taking about kittens at a house on a porch at 10pm not woods...nevermind. This is going nowhere.

Back on subject: my wife's dog is an asshole. In old age he decided to give no fucks anymore and eats all my kids meals and anything else left out. Last year I threw away a nasty f'n diaper and I almost dry heaved seeing him eating it out 5 minutes later.

He has broken two windows going after the UPS guy. He was maced by the mailman but that didn't stop him for more than 20 seconds, he went back for more. I've built fences around the garden and around the perimeter because he was really good at jumping over shitty fences so I had build expensive fences. he also figured out how to flex the bottom of gates to escape...that took a long time to figure out how he was escaping. I've rebuilt 3 different gates 2-3x because of him. He's blown out two knees so that equals $10,000 total. He's too difficult to deal with to go to dog parks, when he was younger it wasn't an issue. And he NEVER STOPS BARKING.

But I like him.

**usdatele** · 02-26-2021, 07:21 PM

Got a puppy. Left him in the car. Chewed the climate control buttons, shifter knob, and windshield wiper schtick. Still functional. Also ruined my asolo work boots, my gfs uggs, and random other shit....

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**riser4** · 02-26-2021, 07:23 PM

Nom nom nom

**stealurface831** · 02-26-2021, 07:24 PM

Originally Posted by usdatele

Got a puppy. Left him in the car. Chewed the climate control buttons, shifter knob, and windshield wiper schtick. Still functional. Also ruined my asolo work boots, my gfs uggs, and random other shit....

Sent from my SM-G970U using Tapatalk

kinda unreasonable if you ask me.

**happytimefunbox** · 02-26-2021, 08:54 PM

Originally Posted by BobMc

Our new dog is a toilet paper/kleenex lover. She’s an equal opportunity eater, she’ll grab used tissues out of the bathroom garbage or eat toilet paper right off the roll. We’re not used to religiously shutting the bathroom doors so she’s well fed.

Your poches littermate is a sonofabitch. He has chewed up 2 ski helmets and nothing on a countertop is safe. Ate a whole fucking porkroast once. We have a ridgeback now who is even taller and shithead Hoss has been in the cage when we leave. Ridgemont has been carboloading by ooening the breadbox and earting a loaf at a time. He prefers sourdough over whole wheat

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**schindlerpiste** · 02-26-2021, 10:15 PM

There was a time when we owned 2 Chessies. Great dogs. One Easter Sunday morning when our kids were young we went to church. We left two Easter baskets filled with foiled chocolates on the kitchen island. When we returned from mass and returned home we discovered that the baskets had been pilfered and were empty. Even most of the plastic “grass“ was gone. Anyway, For the next two or three days Chelsea and Schoko were shitting colored tinfoil and plastic Easter grass. Funny to think of now, but at the time we were worried about the dogs eating chocolate.
Oh, I miss those two.

**spotted dogs** · 02-26-2021, 10:45 PM

So... when I met the girl who would become Mrs Spots, she had two Dalmatians...the male was big and neurotic... the female

Bat shit crazy. Her favorite thing was pulling tampons of various states of “use” out of the garbage and down the hatch they went. Nothing like walking at the off leash dog park and pulling strings out of your dogs ass! Just awesome.
Oh and condoms. She would shake the fuck out of them and down they went. Treats in the yard and off leash park.

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**neufox47** · 02-27-2021, 12:10 AM

My in-laws labs escaped from their kid gated room and ate all the chocolate the in-laws brought for the grand kids. Luckily it was all milk chocolate. MIL put the dogs in the newly finished basement room with a real door to keep them away from the rest of everything. Dogs proceeded to have diarrhea, eat it and have more diarrhea. The new carpet and walls were splattered with poop. MIL stubbed the carpet until threads started to come loose. The carpet was replaced and the walls repainted. That was quite the Christmas morning.

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**Thaleia** · 02-27-2021, 01:18 AM

Someone explain dogs to me this thread is fucked.

**stealurface831** · 02-27-2021, 09:20 AM

Originally Posted by Thaleia

Someone explain dogs to me this thread is fucked.

you pet them and shit

**riser4** · 02-27-2021, 09:35 AM

Originally Posted by Thaleia

Someone explain dogs to me this thread is fucked.

There's three types in this world.

Dog people.
Cat people.
Those confused people like myself who like both.

People who don't like either one don't count.

You're a cat people. It's ok, we forgive you.

**Thaleia** · 02-27-2021, 11:37 AM

Honestly I love dogs, just never owned one. No real dog experience. I know some do random shit like eat shoes or whatever but this thread is eye opening.

**Mustonen** · 02-27-2021, 12:08 PM

Originally Posted by neufox47

My in-laws labs escaped from their kid gated room and ate all the chocolate the in-laws brought for the grand kids. Luckily it was all milk chocolate. MIL put the dogs in the newly finished basement room with a real door to keep them away from the rest of everything. Dogs proceeded to have diarrhea, eat it and have more diarrhea. The new carpet and walls were splattered with poop. MIL stubbed the carpet until threads started to come loose. The carpet was replaced and the walls repainted. That was quite the Christmas morning.

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A couple weeks ago my husky/shepherd mix decided to swipe the box of booze chocolates from the top of my desk - where they had been sitting since Christmas - while we were sleeping. He shredded the box, ate the chocolates while still in the wrapper, played with a few dog toys, and then shat all over everything. Fortunately, these activities were somehow confined to a few square feet of the living room rug. By the time I got up in the morning the diarrhea poop/shredded box/shat out wrappers/dog toys had congealed into a mostly solid loaf that reeked of contentment, ecstasy, bad decisions, sudden unease, and recovery.

Took a few minutes for sleepy me to piece together the sequence of events of his evening, but the story of his night was pretty clear after a few minutes of reflection. He was very excited to see me.

**riser4** · 02-27-2021, 12:38 PM

Originally Posted by Mustonen

A couple weeks ago my husky/shepherd mix decided to swipe the box of booze chocolates from the top of my desk - where they had been sitting since Christmas - while we were sleeping. He shredded the box, ate the chocolates while still in the wrapper, played with a few dog toys, and then shat all over everything. Fortunately, these activities were somehow confined to a few square feet of the living room rug. By the time I got up in the morning the diarrhea poop/shredded box/shat out wrappers/dog toys had congealed into a mostly solid loaf that reeked of contentment, ecstasy, bad decisions, sudden unease, and recovery.

Took a few minutes for sleepy me to piece together the sequence of events of his evening, but the story of his night was pretty clear after a few minutes of reflection. He was very excited to see me.

Not too different than college.

**muted** · 02-27-2021, 03:57 PM

Originally Posted by Mustonen

A couple weeks ago my husky/shepherd mix decided to swipe the box of booze chocolates from the top of my desk - where they had been sitting since Christmas - while we were sleeping. He shredded the box, ate the chocolates while still in the wrapper, played with a few dog toys, and then shat all over everything. Fortunately, these activities were somehow confined to a few square feet of the living room rug. By the time I got up in the morning the diarrhea poop/shredded box/shat out wrappers/dog toys had congealed into a mostly solid loaf that reeked of contentment, ecstasy, bad decisions, sudden unease, and recovery.

Took a few minutes for sleepy me to piece together the sequence of events of his evening, but the story of his night was pretty clear after a few minutes of reflection. He was very excited to see me.

My sisters dog was a puggle. He died last year, but stories like this and throughout this thread happened every 1-2 weeks, the dog was a terror. Just scarfing entire turkeys, entire large bags of candy wrapped, entire boxes of food, ate his own shit, ate diapers, ate food on the table, just over and over with multiple vet visits for being sick as a....dog. After years and years of this shit the dog got diabetes and my sister finally got her 4 kids trained to never leave the pantry door open or food on the counter....then her kids were old enough to have friends over constantly who always left the pantry door open or food on the counter.

The dog got diabetes around 7, still ate gross shit all the time, and OF COURSE lived for 14 years. Amazing. Around 10 he went blind so his eyes were greyed out, such a creepy dog.

**ötzi** · 02-27-2021, 05:03 PM

Originally Posted by BmillsSkier

They say many of the traits we see in modern breeds were selectively chosen over the generations by the breeders.

Which begs the question, when, and who exactly, looked at labs and said, you know what, we really need to propagate the canine trash-disposal feature in these guys. If its not nailed down, I want them eating it.

I'm a couple days late but that's funny