Gambling Addiction

[Skidog]

I want to buy your women.

How much for the little girl? Great flick

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[Crusty]

What makes you think its gambling? I think the first step would be to find out where your money is going.

[Skidog]

Wanna bet?

In at 10-1 OP splits.

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[DJSapp]

Finally, some levity!

How about a compromise: you tell her you got 100 pent up dudes asking for pics. She starts an only fans site and can gamble all that money away, but cant touch the rest.

Win win.

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[stealurface831]

What makes you think its gambling? I think the first step would be to find out where your money is going.

probably the part where she said she had a gambling addiction.

[MakersTeleMark]

Reaching out to the collective for advice. Presently separated from spouse. The other night she tells me she thinks she may have a gambling addiction. As someone said in the original sobriety thread, if you think you may have a problem, you have a problem. For years, I thought it was online shopping, now this revelation. Joint bank accounts cleared out, cash stolen, etc. Overdraft charges daily, often in excess of the original charge.

I imagine someone here has thoughts on where to seek effective help. Has anyone here been able to save a relationship that has been destroyed by gambling? Should I just run and call it good?

Someone here, I'm sure has some sage advice. Don't really know where to turn.

I've been there. My last girlfriend of 9 years was, and probably is, hooked hard. Full privileges, weeks of free stays every month, free gas and coffee. She would roll 20 grand every night she went out. Lose it all, win big, hit the atm advances, the whole thing.

Here are a couple tips:

Do you want to spend the rest of your life with her?;
You must not share accounts;
You must not in anyway go there or support her doing so. You don't have to be a dick about it, just go for a ride or something;
You must make her accountable for her fair share of expenses;
Tell her to make a gambling budget, once cashed, over till she funds it from her discresionary income;
Move away from a casino town if it's not online;
Set times to be with each other and no phone computer if it's online;
Ask her if she really wants to keep going with this down the line;
Never bail her out;
See if she is open to therapy; and

GOOD LUCK (all on red).

Understand that it is an addiction, specifically focused on the serotonin and adrenaline release on pressing the button, what ever that may be. Her mind chemicals are strong, the same that draws you in. It's a hard one to crack. I wasn't able to do it after almost a decade, but that mostly had to do with breaches of trust, and an inability to hold her drink/drugs and hence violence.

I wish I could say that after almost 3 years we are best friends, but we are not. Haven't spoken to her in over 2. The only solace I have is that she really really wanted to have kids, to the point of cray shit. And now she is too old to. The house always wins.

The only place she stalks me is here. So, to you Lora, I hope you got your shit together and aren't hanging out with the same old shitty folks. You truly were the royal flush. Too bad you didn't know you held it. Namaste.

[skiballs]

^damn son, she must have really cranked your rotor.
But, the fun and exciting one’s, tend to have a couple flaws.


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[MakersTeleMark]

^damn son, she must have really cranked your rotor.
But, the fun and exciting one’s, tend to have a couple flaws.


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Yes she did. Over and over. She was the one. Gambling was one thing, the BPD was an entirely bigger beast.

I still have a calendar on my wall of her menstrual cycles thinking that would have helped me. It finally got to a point where she crossed lines that I would not be able to live with my own self for forgiving. Like when she late miscarried our baby and didn't tell me as just one point, or when she split an uber with the karaoke host and then told me to get a shot in my ass and antibiotics then claimed nothing happened and that she never said that, or when she stole my phone and charger from an air BNB in mexico and ran on foot in Mexico while I was in the shower. I could go on. Cranked my starter is nothing.

I'm extremely empathetic and patient, up to a point. That's when I find your passport and credit cards that you forgot and I track you down 2 days later and scream up a cliff to get your attention while I throw them into the sea of cortez.

[riser4]

Redhead?

[skiballs]

Ah yes, sweet memories, indeed.
My girl has her moments of drunken anger, but nothing on your scale. Just verbally abusive once in awhile, but I’m to old for that shit. She’s two weeks sober because it was that or adios.


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[bagtagley]

I was reading just recently that this is a young person's problem, will fade.

https://howamericakilledmymother.com/

[Crusty]

probably the part where she said she had a gambling addiction.

Trustworthy enough I guess.....

[SkiBall]

OP sorry to hear. I don't want to rush to say cut n run, but you do have lots to consider now. Gambling seems like an addiction that has a bad chance to fuck you big time..

As to hott butt mud comment. I was just saying to my wife how horrible I think it is they can advertise gambling on tv for online participation. Disgusts me. I'm cool with gambling and all, but that advertising tv shits got to go...seems predatory. Free money if you join etc...like if you want to gamble you know where to go, putting it on tv opens it to people who think "just one big win", and down the hole we go.

Good luck OP, vibes.

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Like booze (including commercials) to alcoholics, it is part of the world. If one is to “overcome” their addiction, they must be able to stare it in the face and not blink. Rehab is a place to remove the problem from immediate reach and try to get you on some kind of solid ground to face it in the real world. Like watching your vice on tv for a very small instance.
Not saying rehab is the only avenue by any means, I just rambled in that particular direction.

[Percy Rideout]

I've been there. My last girlfriend of 9 years was, and probably is, hooked hard. Full privileges, weeks of free stays every month, free gas and coffee. She would roll 20 grand every night she went out. Lose it all, win big, hit the atm advances, the whole thing.

Here are a couple tips:

Do you want to spend the rest of your life with her?;
You must not share accounts;
You must not in anyway go there or support her doing so. You don't have to be a dick about it, just go for a ride or something;
You must make her accountable for her fair share of expenses;
Tell her to make a gambling budget, once cashed, over till she funds it from her discresionary income;
Move away from a casino town if it's not online;
Set times to be with each other and no phone computer if it's online;
Ask her if she really wants to keep going with this down the line;
Never bail her out;
See if she is open to therapy; and

GOOD LUCK (all on red).

Understand that it is an addiction, specifically focused on the serotonin and adrenaline release on pressing the button, what ever that may be. Her mind chemicals are strong, the same that draws you in. It's a hard one to crack. I wasn't able to do it after almost a decade, but that mostly had to do with breaches of trust, and an inability to hold her drink/drugs and hence violence.

I wish I could say that after almost 3 years we are best friends, but we are not. Haven't spoken to her in over 2. The only solace I have is that she really really wanted to have kids, to the point of cray shit. And now she is too old to. The house always wins.

The only place she stalks me is here. So, to you Lora, I hope you got your shit together and aren't hanging out with the same old shitty folks. You truly were the royal flush. Too bad you didn't know you held it. Namaste.

Heavy shit. Sorry to hear.

OP, you have already decided deep down if youre gonna keep her or not. Dont let the mags say otherwise. There is some good hard advice here. Hope the best for you and the lady.

[AdironRider]

Yes she did. Over and over. She was the one. Gambling was one thing, the BPD was an entirely bigger beast.

I still have a calendar on my wall of her menstrual cycles thinking that would have helped me. It finally got to a point where she crossed lines that I would not be able to live with my own self for forgiving. Like when she late miscarried our baby and didn't tell me as just one point, or when she split an uber with the karaoke host and then told me to get a shot in my ass and antibiotics then claimed nothing happened and that she never said that, or when she stole my phone and charger from an air BNB in mexico and ran on foot in Mexico while I was in the shower. I could go on. Cranked my starter is nothing.

I'm extremely empathetic and patient, up to a point. That's when I find your passport and credit cards that you forgot and I track you down 2 days later and scream up a cliff to get your attention while I throw them into the sea of cortez.

Pussy is a pretty powerful drug.

In all seriousness, I'm glad you were able to do what is right for you and move forward. It sure can be tough at the time.

[Lostintime]

The verdict is going to be out for awhile. A lot of solid advice given. At the moment holding off on pics. Sorry.

[The AD]

I was reading just recently that this is a young person's problem, will fade.

A friend of mine's dad had/has a problem and it didn't manifest itself until he was in his 50s, so it's not just a young person's problem.

[XXX-er]

my people love to gamble

i put a quarter in a slot at interbike which didnt pay so i said fuck that

[::: :::]

vibes, OP, that's shitty...hopefully you can get to resolution and stop the personal & financial chaos




on the comedy side

You got to know when to hold 'em, you got to know when to fold 'em

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[RootSkier]

My aunt had a major gambling problem in her 50s/60s. Her husband is a partner at a big city law firm so they had some funds, which I understand she blew through in a pretty incredible manner. They are still together and she is a big-time player in Gamblers' Anonymous so it is possible, if she wants to stop.

[AdironRider]

One of the saddest things I ever see are the old ladies literally blowing everything they have on slots, whether that be in Vegas or wherever.

[Cono Este]

You have no choice but to draw a line in the sand. The rest is up to her.


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[Lostintime]

You have no choice but to draw a line in the sand. The rest is up to her.


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^^^True

[The AD]

My aunt had a major gambling problem in her 50s/60s. Her husband is a partner at a big city law firm so they had some funds, which I understand she blew through in a pretty incredible manner.

I guess it's really only a problem if you're an ineffective gambler. It really seems like gambling would lose a lot of its luster when you start losing massive amounts of money. I guess the difference between a gambler and a problem gambler is the one without a problem is able to walk away.

[riser4]

on the comedy side


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Thank you very much, I'll be here all week. Tip your curbside delivery person.