Official Ski Gear Rant Thread

[riff]

Raves too! It’s probably not Official either, I just wanted to say that. They’e got a rant thread over in Sprocket Rockets, why not here? Maybe we rant on individual items in relevant threads, but I’ve got some random categories that I’d like to see improved so here they are.

Touring pants-
Softshell or not, I want to rant about pocket placement. When I’m walking and lift my leg forward, the fabric on the front of my quad gets tighter. This is a lame place to put a pocket that is meant to hold anything more than chapstick. Phones and beacons suck to have right where your leg flexes and the pants get snug. If a pocket is on the front but lower, then the beacon or phone bangs on your patella. I guess most ski pants have pockets on the front because you can get in there while seated on a chairlift; touring pants shouldn’t be worried about it. I know I could wear my beacon in the harness, I just hate have my torso festooned with webbing and buckles.
Solution: I use to have a stout pair of Patagonia Rubicon pants, unknown vintage, that had the pocket in the perfect spot- middle or lower part of the outside of the hamstring. It was velcro, so couldn’t use it for important stuff, but it was in the right spot on the leg. Plenty of slack there while walking, easy to get while standing, never in your way for high steps etc if you have a beacon or phone in there. Must be zippered, with zippers big enough to last a while, and openings you can use with at least a liner glove on. Please skip “waterproof” zippers, make it open easily with one hand. Where can one find a decent moderately durable softshell or hardshell pant with these pockets?

The distance should between belt and crotch on ski pants should be shorter. I struggle to find a pair that can handle walking and high stepping without blowing out the crotch. Maybe it’s just me.

Pit zips on shell jackets should skip the waterproof zippers too, and go for glide and one handed operation. Shoulders and upper back should be properly waterproof material, forget about breathability there.

Actually, that’s all I’ve got for now and gotta get some chores done so throw down your rants here.


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[mufasa5446]

I actually recently bought a bunch of soft shell fabric to make new pockets in my touring pants... you hit the nail in the head there Riffy. I’ve got plenty of material for someone else’s projects if you feel like cutting into your pants.


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[riff]

Also, they should put a belt loop on the bag that ski crampons come with so you can rig them on a compression strap on your pack.



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[TeleBeaver]

Touring pants-
Softshell or not, I want to rant about pocket placement. When I’m walking and lift my leg forward, the fabric on the front of my quad gets tighter. This is a lame place to put a pocket that is meant to hold anything more than chapstick. Phones and beacons suck to have right where your leg flexes and the pants get snug. If a pocket is on the front but lower, then the beacon or phone bangs on your patella. I guess most ski pants have pockets on the front because you can get in there while seated on a chairlift; touring pants shouldn’t be worried about it. I know I could wear my beacon in the harness, I just hate have my torso festooned with webbing and buckles.

I tour in OR trailbreaker pants from a few years ago and the pockets are awesome. They have your normal hip pockets but the additional pockets are on the back of your thigh for exactly the reasons you stated. I forget my phone is even in there. The beacon pocket is still the right hip pocket which is annoying but the pants are pretty well laid out otherwise.

[skimaxpower]

1. "Safety bars" on the chairlift don't make you more safe, but they do make me unsafe when I get hit in the head with a steel pipe. Fuck the safety bar. Thankfully, I'm too cheap to ski anywhere with fancy new lifts built after 1980.

2. Garmont does not understand the shape of human feet, and probably never will. They should quit while they're behind.

3. I'm old and crotchety and I don't understand why we need a dozen different boot sole standards. I miss the days when it was just "junior" and "adult". I don't want to spend time learning about boot sole standards.

4. If you drive an Infinity SUV to the ski area, it's virtually guaranteed that you'll try to pass people despite being in a 100+ vehicle long line of cars. I appreciate you letting us all know you're a dentist with an unhappy marriage, but you don't need to make my drive unsafe.

5. Every backcountry hut should have a designated "pee" side and a "snow for melt" side. These should be clearly marked, and violation should be punishable by being forced to clean the outhouse on a hot day in May.

6. "system" bindings exist solely to create planned obsolescence and sell unnecessary gear. They're usually inferior bindings, too.

7. Alpine Camo ski clothing looks cool until you fall in a tree well. Or tree ski with friends. Or get anywhere near snow. Actually, alpine camo doesn't look cool and is a dumb pattern for ski clothing.

8. RAVE: waxing irons are simple and amazing and never require upgrades. One-handed operation leaves other hand available for beer-holding duties.

[buttahflake]

Good rant, but I ski Vermont, safety bar down is a state law. I’m that guy that pulls the bar down when out west. I always give a ‘heads up’ before pulling it though.

[El Chupacabra]

2. Garmont does not understand the shape of human feet, and probably never will. They should quit while they're behind.

.

Garmont hasn't made a ski boot in years. And the Shaman is the best boot ever.

[Caucasian Asian]

Does it really save that much money and weight to only put ONE pocket on the back of ski pants?!?
I've been carrying my wallet in my back pocket every day since I was 10. And I'm a lefty, so I use the left pocket. Except ski pants. Fuck that. Make two pockets.

[EWG]

Ski poles that require the entire handle to be taken off to remove the straps.

Actually, ski pole straps in general.


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[skimaxpower]

Good rant, but I ski Vermont, safety bar down is a state law. I’m that guy that pulls the bar down when out west. I always give a ‘heads up’ before pulling it though.

Do you follow every state law, while elevated in the sky, far away from civilization, with zero chance of getting fined?

[galibier_numero_un]

Good rant, but I ski Vermont, safety bar down is a state law. I’m that guy that pulls the bar down when out west. I always give a ‘heads up’ before pulling it though.

^^^ this ^^^

I cut my teeth skiing in Vermont.

I also advocate backing up rappels with a prusik. What's with the macho thing about the bar?

A few years ago, a guy had a seizure on the Black Mountain lift at A-basin. Without the bar being down, it's possible he would have fallen off the lift. Imagine being next to him, trying to save him and being pulled off the lift with him


Shit happens.

... Thom

[Timberridge]

Do you follow every state law, while elevated in the sky, far away from civilization, with zero chance of getting fined?

What are you, some sort of anarchist?

Buttah did violate VT law 23 V.S.A. § 1095b a couple weeks ago.

[buttahflake]

True enough, in my defense I was on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere. No excuse, I know.

[stealurface831]

I also advocate backing up rappels with a prusik.

autoblock is SOOO much easier

[toast2266]

The ski industry is obsessed with making things lighter. Light skis ski like shit. Light boots ski like shit. Light bindings break. Light outerwear doesn't hold up. Light avalanche shovels should be illegal.

[XXX-er]

Mildred: Hey, Johnny, what are you rebelling against?

Johnny: What've you got?

Marlon Brando ^^ in " the wild one"

looking at softshell pants IME you want pockets designed with horizontal opennings for a couple reasons,

if the opening is vertical it takes up space on the pant which could have been possibly used to make the vent zipper/openning longer which is more noticeable if you have short legs

if the pocket opening is vertical shit falls out

[Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo]

5. Every backcountry hut should have a designated "pee" side and a "snow for melt" side. These should be clearly marked, and violation should be punishable by being forced to clean the outhouse on a hot day in May.

As an employee of a hut system I suggest you follow the lead of your female compatriots and use the fucking outhouse. We can designate sides to pee off until the cows come home but every Bill and Larry who is too lazy or drunk to walk to the 10 yards to the outhouse will just ignore that as well. Plus it's gross to see a pile of piss snow outside a hut and sets a bad example for every other group of lazy dudes. If you don't want to deal with piss in your snowmelt water, don't piss in the fucking snow, pretty simple.

There's my rant

[XXX-er]

Almost every hut I been to has a known & designated pee tree with a green top and a bunch of dead branches down low

this ^^ is about your gear


but it isnt about ski gear

[riff]

Base layer shirts should be long enough to stay tucked in. Minimum three inches longer on all my current ones.


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[altacoup]

The ski industry is obsessed with making things lighter. Light skis ski like shit. Light boots ski like shit. Light bindings break. Light outerwear doesn't hold up. Light avalanche shovels should be illegal.

100% on all points.


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[XXX-er]

Base layer shirts should be long enough to stay tucked in. Minimum three inches longer on all my current ones.


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sorry but the younger folk don't tuck their shirts in

I was chillin at a gig trying to look cool when a very cool heavily tatooed local punkrock mom almost 1/2 my age come up and said

"pull you shirt out that look is is all wrong, are you dating yet ?"

and ever since i pull my shirt out and i call her mom

[ZomblibulaX]

Anything <100mm and >190 should be stiffer and straighter than their shorter counterparts. The only justification for running a ski that length in low snow (other than stroking your ego) is for stability at speed, and any ski in that category should be capable of handling heavy input at highway speeds without flinching. If I need a 19m turn radius, I will ski a shorter fucking ski. Gladly.

[mr_pretzel]

Anything <100mm and >190 should be stiffer and straighter than their shorter counterparts. The only justification for running a ski that length in low snow (other than stroking your ego) is for stability at speed, and any ski in that category should be capable of handling heavy input at highway speeds without flinching. If I need a 19m turn radius, I will ski a shorter fucking ski. Gladly.

Haven’t you heard? Radius doesn’t matter anymore and 17m can charge as hard as you want.

Thats my rant, radius matters, it doesn’t matter that you blended the tail or tip or whatever. It’s like BMI, for the majority it is a good predictor of health, sure there are some outliers it doesn’t work for, but for most it does.

^I totally agree btw, something like a 193cm enforcer 93 skis like complete shit compared to the shorter version.

[Shorty_J]

Good rant, but I ski Vermont, safety bar down is a state law. I’m that guy that pulls the bar down when out west. I always give a ‘heads up’ before pulling it though.

I'm surprised they would legislate that in the land of freedom, but I'm equally or more surprised they don't exist on many chairs in the land of litigation... which is the same place.

I use the safety bar every time but also give a heads up.

Ever since that time I was stuck on the Silverton chair for 2 hours, I can't imagine no bar. I was down low in a pretty safe place but some people were stuck near the top a couple of hundred feet off the ground in high winds and I couldn't imagine being those poor bastards without a safety bar.

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[pfluffenmeister]

I'm surprised they would legislate that in the land of freedom, but I'm equally or more surprised they don't exist on many chairs in the land of litigation... which is the same place.

I use the safety bar every time but also give a heads up.

Ever since that time I was stuck on the Silverton chair for 2 hours, I can't imagine no bar. I was down low in a pretty safe place but some people were stuck near the top a couple of hundred feet off the ground in high winds and I couldn't imagine being those poor bastards without a safety bar.

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2 hours on the Silverton chair?
Fuck that!

That's the only chair upon which that I've felt super exposed.