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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    12,418

    Post Your Stripper Stories Here

    Have you got a stripper story? Post it here.
    Iceman's end of life purchases thread is not the place.

    College. I'm at McDonald's with a friend. In walk two hot chicks with a ~2 yr old kid and they head over to the FunZone. He's playing in the ball pit, they order and sit at the table next to us. I'd rate them a 10 and 9.5, or a 12 and 11.5 on a mountain town scale. We strike up a conversation and find out they know the owner of the gym on my friend's t-shirt. Nice guy, we know him too. Conversation continues and my friend has the balls to ask for their number and gets it. Weekend rolls around and we call the number. No answer. Monday we call again. 10 picks up. They work on weekends but there's a party at this club on Thurs night, do we want to meet them there? Hell yes! We go.

    The "club" is a converted warehouse in an industrial section of the city. The highlight of the evening is Rick James walking in wearing a full length fox fur coat along with his entourage. Hey, this place is cool. It comes to light during the evening that these two girls are strippers and work at one of the higher end establishments in the city. It wasn't entirely a shock but what actually was? 10 was sorta married. But he wasn't around we were told so hence the sorta part. The kid made sense now too. I'm thinking I'd better stick to 9.5 for the evening and leave 10 to my friend. I was only giving up 0.5 point in exchange for what seemed to be a less dicey situation and they were hitting it off.

    Due to the kid having a babysitter, the girls had to get home sorta early but invited us back to their place. The lived together in an apartment on the 2nd floor of a house. This whole thing was weirding me out a bit now but 10 and my friend were really hitting it off. In for a penny, in for a pound I reasoned, so 9.5 and I were having some low key fun on the couch while my friend and 10 migrated into her bedroom. Then,

    *Bam!*

    9.5 jumps up and goes to the window. It was a car door slamming in the street in front of the house. She completely freaks out and and starts pounding on 10's door yelling that Frank was there. I'm not sure who Frank was but I sensed he had something to do with her being sorta married and shit was about to hit the fan. 10 is now frantic, and tells us we have to jump out the window. It's a big drop into a bush. I consider taking my chances with Frank. After all, I'm with 9.5 not 10. But I reason I'm guilty by association. It's amazing how fast a mind can work through a decision tree of outcomes sometimes. Fuck it. I jump putting my hands over my eyes so they don't get speared by the sticks. It probably hurt a lot but my adrenaline was pumping hard. I worked my way out of the bush and ran down the street full speed. I think my friend landed in the same bush or maybe a different one, but he's also sprinting behind me.

    Next day we were pretty banged up from the fall but glad to be alive.
    Never went back to that McDonald's ever again. Never did find out who Frank was either.
    "timberridge is terminally vapid" -- a fortune cookie in Yueyang

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    1,201
    Probably a good move - could have been Frank Castle.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Beaverton, OR
    Posts
    581
    Frank?

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  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Big in Japan
    Posts
    45,752
    Dating a stripper is like breaking the never fall for the barmaid rule on steroids.

    Let's do some livin'
    After, we die

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Suckramento
    Posts
    19,927

    Post Your Stripper Stories Here

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    Oh...stripPer....never mind
    Quando paramucho mi amore de felice carathon.
    Mundo paparazzi mi amore cicce verdi parasol.
    Questo abrigado tantamucho que canite carousel.


  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    YetiMan
    Posts
    12,150
    Quote Originally Posted by irul&ublo View Post
    Name:  Image1609955159.510716.jpg
Views: 2474
Size:  115.4 KB

    Oh...stripPer....never mind
    He likes ‘em big and smelly

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    General Sherman's Favorite City
    Posts
    23,458
    A changing of the guard I see TR. Seems like only yesterday we were welcoming Barack Beiber.

    I bet a LOT of stripper stories have happened between that day and this one.
    I still call it The Jake.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Suckramento
    Posts
    19,927
    Quote Originally Posted by sirbumpsalot View Post
    Frank?

    Name:  external-content.duckduckgo.com.jpg
Views: 2423
Size:  126.8 KB
    Frank...

    Name:  Image1609957617.601217.jpg
Views: 2318
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    Quando paramucho mi amore de felice carathon.
    Mundo paparazzi mi amore cicce verdi parasol.
    Questo abrigado tantamucho que canite carousel.


  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    7,143
    Fuck. Playing with fire here. Putting these stories on the internet to live in perpetuity.....no thanks.

    Should we start a prostitute story thread next?


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Posts
    122
    This one time, we handcuffed a buddy to an escort in Vancouver.

    Add in the Roxy to the mix, but yeah I will spare the details in reference to the aforementioned perpetuity of the webby web.

    Sent from my Pixel 5 using Tapatalk

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    livin the dream
    Posts
    4,185
    I’ve been on the Friday evening BUR to LAS Southwest flight a few times. It’s known as the stripper shuttle. It’s nickname rings true from my experience...


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Best Skier on the Mountain
    Self-Certified
    1992 - 2012
    Squaw Valley, USA

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    14,550
    Quote Originally Posted by nickwm21 View Post
    I’ve been on the Friday evening BUR to LAS Southwest flight a few times. It’s known as the stripper shuttle. It’s nickname rings true from my experience...


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    That's a 1 hour flight. Should cost what, maybe 3 hundo for a decent mile high.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Portland by way of Bozeman
    Posts
    3,522
    There was a time... I have a story...

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    7,143
    Let’s just say my best friends played college football and also were bouncers at a fully nude strip club in a part of town called “the bottoms”

    Bonus points if anyone knows the name of the club. Hint, there was a shitty short lived reality series about the owner.

    Many stories.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    7,143
    another friend got into a long term relationship and got engaged with one of the strippers, they moved in together. Her coworkers would come over. We’d also go pick her up from her shift, it’s weird seeing every nook and cranny of your buddy’s fiancé.

    Didn’t work out in the end.

    As I type this I’m realizing I used to be a dirtbag.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    12,418
    Quote Originally Posted by Hughwindlip View Post
    This one time, we handcuffed a buddy to an escort in Vancouver.

    Add in the Roxy to the mix, but yeah I will spare the details in reference to the aforementioned perpetuity of the webby web.

    Sent from my Pixel 5 using Tapatalk
    Go on.

    You can recount a story without without revealing names, places and social security numbers.

    Everyone has a story.

    Quote Originally Posted by BmillsSkier View Post
    A changing of the guard I see TR. Seems like only yesterday we were welcoming Barack Beiber.

    I bet a LOT of stripper stories have happened between that day and this one.
    Bmills, now that GA has flipped and the inauguration is around the corner, I decided it was time to embrace the new regime.
    "timberridge is terminally vapid" -- a fortune cookie in Yueyang

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Posts
    122
    Quote Originally Posted by Timberridge View Post
    Go on.

    You can recount a story without without revealing names, places and social security numbers.

    Everyone has a story.


    Bmills, now that GA has flipped and the inauguration is around the corner, I decided it was time to embrace the new regime.
    Aside from the typical illicits, the highlight of the night would be the waterworks show.

    He always falls in love with the hired hands, soft heart.

    But man, the Sunday scaries after that weekend were intense.

    It capped off 3 stags in 6 months.

    Sent from my Pixel 5 using Tapatalk

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Big in Japan
    Posts
    45,752
    The Jersey strip joints allowed you to tip between the tits. That's when I quickly learned I hate the feel of fake tits.

    Let's do some livin'
    After, we die

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Wasatch Back: 7000'
    Posts
    10,735
    Cheetah Club, Hollywood Fl. Public craziness/partying with stripper (think of Wolf of Wall Street scene) who spent the next few days with us at HoJo beach in Ft. Lauderdale.
    “A society that puts equality before freedom will get neither. A society that puts freedom before equality will get a high degree of both.”
    ― Milton Friedman

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Big in Japan
    Posts
    45,752
    I was in Cheeta III in Lauderdale once, where they had, like, ten girls dancing all around at once, and some sweet thing climbed up on a table in front of me (I was in mezzanine seat) and twerked her butt cheeks in my face without moving barely any other body part. I swear to God, I poured beer all over myself.

    Let's do some livin'
    After, we die

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    12,418
    Florida is crazy.

    NJ strip clubs are scary. Bunny you reminded me of this one time...

    I had to go down to the Chevron refinery in Perth Amboy to look at some equipment they had for sale. I'm making friends with some of the old guys down there and they want to take me out to a late lunch at their club. The club is in South Amboy, which even for NJ is a shithole. I'm really not digging this but it's business. So we go down to this place called the Regal Beagle Social and Athletic Club. Knock on a door, a little window slides open and you flash your membership card and they let you in. Once in it's just me and these dudes and maybe two other dudes already there just drinking and smoking cigarettes at the bar and 2 girls walking around totally nude. Solid 3-4s (mountain town 5-6s.) You know things are off to a bad start when she's calling you "honey" right away. Anyway we sit at the bar, order some beers and the nude waitress asks my host if he's hungry. Hell yes he's hungry. And he'll have the usual. To my shock, the usual was the girl jumping up on the bar while he buried his face between her open legs. I'm about to run out, but these guys drove. After he's done or she's done, I couldn't tell which, he points to me and says "give some to the rookie." I could barely get the the word "no" out before going to the bathroom to collect myself. I'm pretty sure I had some form of PTSD after because I still don't recall how that evening ended.

    Some years later I read the cops raided the place and shut it down. RIP.
    "timberridge is terminally vapid" -- a fortune cookie in Yueyang

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Big in Japan
    Posts
    45,752
    Oh man, we all have our hot strip club stories, but, yeah, twice I wound up in places that were just shocking in their depravity. It's like that's what some guys can only get off on. Like total scuzz in string bikinis. You want to take a shower before driving away.

    Let's do some livin'
    After, we die

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    150
    A buddy of mine went to St. Louis to visit some old friends who moved there.. they wind up at a shitty tit bar.

    My friend is a friendly fellow and he strikes up a conversation with a guy he’s sitting next to up at the stage while the guy he’s visiting goes in back with a girl and gets some dances for a while...

    My buddy and the rando dude hit it off!! Talking about sports on the tv, the girls in front of them, they buy each-other beers and shots, they throw money at naked women. just a couple fast friends sitting up at the stage together. Rando gets up for a piss. 30 seconds later guy he’s visiting comes flying out from getting dances and is all in a big hurry to go.... we gotta go.. now.. let’s get the fuck out... now.

    So my buddy hops up and leaves cuz, well if I’m being honest, he probably thought the guy he was visiting did something dumb and they were about to get beat up or something... because that’s the kind of guy he was..

    As soon as they get out the door he tells my friend he got robbed in there... right in the VIP.. a dude came in and took all his money right in front of the stripper... pointed a gun at him and everything.

    At that moment my buddy looks across the parking lot and sees his new friend from the stage leaving too and he waves and shouts and tells the guy to have a good night and all that.

    Aaaaaand that was the guy who robbed our other friend.....

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Posts
    12,933
    I got thrown out of a strip club in Fairbanks - The Lonely Lady - with my friend because he tried twice, maybe three times, to drop a roll of quarters in the strippers’ g-string. Good times.

    I got thrown out of a different one there a year or two later when a stripper handcuffed my friend (a different friend) for a lap dance, and set the key on the table. I grabbed the key, and hilarity ensued.

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    630
    Not my story, but a friend told me about going to a club in the UP where one of the dancers was about 1/2” away from being a little person. The stage was lit with orange lamps and all he could think was “Oompa Loompa”.

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