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Thread: Keeping Secrets

  1. #1
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    Keeping Secrets

    An old friend asked me to post this:

    Keeping Secrets: Keeping powder stashes secret.

    By: Anonymous

    1) A secret stash is a secret stash because you don’t talk about it. Keep your mouth shut; especially after having a few beers.

    2) Routes leading to a secret stash should not be obvious. Long clearly visible traverses lines are an open invitation of, “Come ski here.” Pick your approach route with visual stealth in mind.

    3) A secret stash should not be “groomed” by removing tree limbs, or fallen trees, etc…Leave it in a natural state.

    4) Any photos or videos taken while skiing a secret stash should not have any recognizable landmarks in the background.

    5) Secret stashes are not to be talked about in detail on any social forums. Written directions or guide books are forbidden.

    6) Never ever take the ski area marketing department pukes to a secret stash. They will violate rules #1, #4 and #5 within an hour of having skied the stash.

    7) Never ever take a snowboarder to a secret stash. If you do the stash will soon be nothing but a bobsled run; and the approach trail will be a posthole trench.

    8) No screaming out for joy, like a Texas frat boy while skiing a secret stash. Remember be stealthy.

    9) Names for stashes should be fearful in nature (i.e., Graveyard Trees, Jeff’s Last Run, etc…) in order to scare away newbies/gapers/gomers/SPORS/JONGS.

    10) Remember the “keeping secrets” code. Learn it, live i
    "True love is much easier to find with a helicopter"

  2. #2
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    Words to live by. Fact..
    www.apriliaforum.com

    "If the road You followed brought you to this,of what use was the road"?

    "I have no idea what I am talking about but would be happy to share my biased opinions as fact on the matter. "
    Ottime

  3. #3
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    SPORS?
    powdork.com - new and improved, with 20% more dork.

  4. #4
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    Stupid People on Rental Skis

    AKA GORGs - Gapers on Rental Gear

    Thing to keep in mind - probably 10 other people know about someone’s secret stash - by another name or approach.
    Check Out Ullr's Mobile Avalanche Safety Tools for iOS and Android
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  5. #5
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    Secrets are like herpes. If you got 'em, spread 'em.

  6. #6
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    #3 is kind of bullshit. There’s no harm in taking out eye-pokers or shit trees fallen across the line or whatever.

  7. #7
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    I've learned, and not just skiing. No more instagramming, blabbing, geotagging, blowing up my favorite places. FFS.

  8. #8
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    Swift, Silent, Deep. For good reason.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by ill-advised strategy View Post
    #3 is kind of bullshit. There’s no harm in taking out eye-pokers or shit trees fallen across the line or whatever.
    I'll agree with this. And also #7. Guess your sideways friends aren't as cool as mine.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by ill-advised strategy View Post
    #3 is kind of bullshit. There’s no harm in taking out eye-pokers or shit trees fallen across the line or whatever.
    Bullshit. Take em out with your arms and the top of your helmet only. Who is stopping in the middle of your secret stash anyhow?

  11. #11
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    I'll add to this that "Tag responsibly, Keep the West Wild" sounds silly if your image can be fed into Google Image Search and have the name of the feature/location spit back out at you.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hacksaw View Post

    9) Names for stashes should be fearful in nature (i.e., Graveyard Trees, Jeff’s Last Run, etc…) in order to scare away newbies/gapers/gomers/SPORS/JONGS.
    We called one stash "Shitty trees." Man, that run sucks so bad.

  13. #13
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    Regarding #3, the entrance should be as impassable as possible. Then clearing things up is ok.

    Similarly if your tree stash is something you skin into, always set the skin track (at least at the bottom) in a manner that is thoroughly uninviting.

    Sent from my Pixel 3a using TGR Forums mobile app

  14. #14
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    #3 - modification is allowable. Head up in the summer and make some stealthy upgrades.
    #7 - you codgers need to get over the SnOwBoaRdeRs SiDeSliP eVerYtHinG shtick. There are beater and ripper boarders, just like there are beater and ripper skiers.
    #9 - it's your stash, name it as you like. No rules!

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by hatchgreenchile View Post
    #7 - you codgers need to get over the SnOwBoaRdeRs SiDeSliP eVerYtHinG shtick. There are beater and ripper boarders, just like there are beater and ripper skiers.
    Nonsense. All snowboarders suck. We have 40 years of incontrovertible evidence.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by skaredshtles View Post
    Nonsense. All snowboarders suck. We have 40 years of incontrovertible evidence.
    Maybe, but we've got more steeze. That has to count for something

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by hatchgreenchile View Post
    Maybe, but we've got more steeze. That has to count for something
    I shall concede to the steeze point.

  18. #18
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    When I first saw this list I thought #1, #2, #5 and #8 are the most important ones.
    "True love is much easier to find with a helicopter"

  19. #19
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    As to snowboarders, they probably found that stash in the tight trees while y’all were floundering about on 200 x 78 straight skis...
    Forum Cross Pollinator

  20. #20
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    11) Your "secret" isn't a secret.
    Training for Alpental

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by rideit View Post
    200 x 78 straight skis...
    Whoa. Powder skis!

  22. #22
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    There should probably be a rule specifically banning Strava, so as not to put the stash on the heatmap.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by singlecross View Post
    Swift, Silent, Deep. For good reason.
    Exactly...first thought that came to mind.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by GoldMember View Post
    Exactly...first thought that came to mind.
    Youtube, instagram, google earth.
    Training for Alpental

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by dangur View Post
    There should probably be a rule specifically banning Strava, so as not to put the stash on the heatmap.
    Quote Originally Posted by PhiberAwptik View Post
    Youtube, instagram, google earth.
    Strava and the 'gram are by far the best sources of beta these days for the Wasatch. If you want to know if something's in all you have to do is browse the stuff of a about a dozen spraylords and you'll have all the info you'll ever need.
    "Your wife being mad is temporary, but pow turns do not get unmade" - mallwalker the wise

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