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Thread: Whos got jokes?

  1. #76
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    Whats the difference between jam and jelly?

    I cant jelly my cock in your ass


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  2. #77
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    Jan 2019
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    I realized I'm addicted to deli meats. I know that eating them too often isn't good for me so I'm gonna cut them out of my diet.

    But there's no way I'd quit cold turkey

    - Mikey Kampmann

  3. #78
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    Pagosa Springs CO
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    What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?
    You can't hear a vitamin.

  4. #79
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    I smell poutine!!!
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    16,310
    Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary?

    It runs in your jeans.

  5. #80
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    Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
    Henny Youngman
    Quando paramucho mi amore de felice carathon.
    Mundo paparazzi mi amore cicce verdi parasol.
    Questo abrigado tantamucho que canite carousel.


  6. #81
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    My wife, she always wants to talk after sex. I just wish she wouldnt call long distance -Rodney


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  7. #82
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    Why we drive on a parkway but park on a driveway?

    George Carlin

  8. #83
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    Sep 2019
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    46
    What’s a fish say when it swims into a concrete wall?








    Dam.

  9. #84
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    Sep 2019
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    46
    This actually happened to a friend of mine, in med school, doing psych rotation. Walking down the hall with the attending, they stopped in one room, person was swinging an invisible bat, said, Doc, Im trying to visualize hitting a home run, then Ill be good to get out of here. Attending says ok, strange but I like it. Next room, person swings an imaginary golf club. Doc, Im visualizing a hole in one, then I can get out of here. Attending says good work, keep going.
    Next room, the patient is naked, lying, back down, with an erection and spinning a walnut on the tip of his penis. Guy says, Doc, Im fucking nuts, Im never getting out of here

  10. #85
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    Mental Vacation!
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    Name:  Image1634261085.648907.jpg
Views: 239
Size:  185.4 KB


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  11. #86
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  12. #87
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    Last Best City in the Last Best Place
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    Speaking of dad jokes, mine used to like this one:

    Two guys are walking along a path and come upon a leg. One guy says, "Hey, that looks like Joe's leg!" The other guy says, "Yeah, that does look like Joe's leg!"

    They keep walking and eventually come upon another leg. Guy 1 says, "That looks like Joe's other leg!" Guy 2 says, "Yeah, that does look like Joe's other leg!"

    Soon on their walk they encounter an arm. Guy 1 says, "That looks like Joe's arm!" Guy 2 says, "Yeah, that does look like Joe's arm!"

    After a walking a little farther they come upon another arm. Guy 1 says, "That looks like Joe's other arm!" Guy 2 says, "Yeah, that does look like Joe's other arm!"

    Soon they come upon a head. Guy 1 says, "That looks like Joe's head!" Guy 2 says, "Yeah, that does look like Joe's head!" He picks up the head and says, "Joe, Joe! Are you all right?!"

  13. #88
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    Jul 2002
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    Suckramento
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    20,251

    Whos got jokes?

    Igor and Ivan are walking on a frozen road in Siberia. They spot a pile in the road. Igor says What is that. Ivan says Look like dog shit. Igor says Touch, Ivan says Touch? Igor says Touch! Ivan says Feels like dog shit. Igor says Smell. Ivan says Smell? Igor says Smell! Ivan says Smells like dog shit. Igor says Taste, Ivan says Taste? Igor says Taste! Ivan says Tastes like dog shit.

    Igor says Must be dog shit, good thing we didnt step in it. Ivan says Da!.
    Quando paramucho mi amore de felice carathon.
    Mundo paparazzi mi amore cicce verdi parasol.
    Questo abrigado tantamucho que canite carousel.


  14. #89
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    Live Free or Die
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    Someone stole all my lamps. You'd think I'd be mad, but I'm actually delighted.

  15. #90
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    Dec 2005
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    Watching over the valley
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    What do Tupperware and walruses have in common?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    They both like a tight seal.

  16. #91
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    Dec 2009
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    Joisey
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    Quote Originally Posted by irul&ublo View Post
    Igor and Ivan are walking on a frozen road in Siberia. They spot a pile in the road. Igor says “What is that”. Ivan says “Look like dog shit”. Igor says “Touch”, Ivan says “Touch?” Igor says “Touch!” Ivan says “Feels like dog shit.” Igor says “Smell.” Ivan says “Smell?” Igor says “Smell!” Ivan says “Smells like dog shit.” Igor says “Taste”, Ivan says “Taste?” Igor says “Taste!” Ivan says “Tastes like dog shit.”

    Igor says “Must be dog shit, good thing we didn’t step in it.” Ivan says “Da!.”
    That's Cheech & Chong. Cheborneck .

  17. #92
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    New Mexico
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    Quote Originally Posted by irul&ublo View Post
    Igor and Ivan are walking on a frozen road in Siberia. They spot a pile in the road. Igor says What is that. Ivan says Look like dog shit. Igor says Touch, Ivan says Touch? Igor says Touch! Ivan says Feels like dog shit. Igor says Smell. Ivan says Smell? Igor says Smell! Ivan says Smells like dog shit. Igor says Taste, Ivan says Taste? Igor says Taste! Ivan says Tastes like dog shit.

    Igor says Must be dog shit, good thing we didnt step in it. Ivan says Da!.
    Both the setup and the punch line got lost in translation. Good joke in Russian tho.

  18. #93
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    Apr 2019
    Location
    New Mexico
    Posts
    589
    Since we are translating old Soviet jokes:

    Little Johnny and little Susie play doctor. After examining each other for a minute, puzzled Jonny goes: I didnt realize there is such difference between Canadians and Americans.

    The original was about Russians and Ukrainians

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