I ended up in Colorado because some chick

**Timberridge** · 12-02-2020, 07:37 AM

Originally Posted by fastfred

you can suck my balls, south park style, all the way

Originally Posted by fatnslow

FF, fiction or not this would make a great one man play touring ski towns.

And for Aspen gay ski week simple could suck fred's balls.

Originally Posted by Name Redacted

I had chicks try to drag me off to WA, MI, GA, etc but I always gravitated back to CO on my own accord

Good on you maintaining a strong pimp hand. When chicks start dictating your life you're done.

**skifishbum** · 12-02-2020, 07:43 AM

thanks fer reminding me why i ended up utarded

**MiddleOfNight** · 12-02-2020, 08:12 AM

Great read.
Break into more segments, add glossy pics - coffee table book!

**simple** · 12-02-2020, 08:45 AM

Originally Posted by fastfred

you can suck my balls, south park style, all the way

it was just a story for my remdeidal english writing class I took two years ago to make me smarter it's all bullshit

Meow!

Next do a story about why you always drive Subarus.

**Timberridge** · 12-02-2020, 09:10 AM

Subaru? We can throw a couple lesbian scenes in as well.

**Foggy_Goggles** · 12-02-2020, 09:11 AM

Fred::Foggy

Brek::Winterpark

Congrats on making it out the otherside...mostly. I really have no idea if ski bum life even exists anymore but it really was a good time in the 90s-early 00s. You do see that for people that the "party never stops" kinda get in a tough spot in there mid 40s. Most make a conscious choice to tone it down and get on with the rest of their, other decide they like the party too much and move to Grand Lake and the unfortunate few end up in some dark fucking places.

**hatchgreenchile** · 12-02-2020, 09:15 AM

FastFred - our modern day Hemingway.
Complete bullshit or not, your posts always crack me up!
Best Summit County thread since TedSki's 2008 odyssey.

**Name Redacted** · 12-02-2020, 09:17 AM

Originally Posted by Foggy_Goggles

Fred::Foggy

Brek::Winterpark

Congrats on making it out the otherside...mostly. I really have no idea if ski bum life even exists anymore but it really was a good time in the 90s-early 00s. You do see that for people that the "party never stops" kinda get in a tough spot in there mid 40s. Most make a conscious choice to tone it down and get on with the rest of their, other decide they like the party too much and move to Grand Lake and the unfortunate few end up in some dark fucking places.

Grand Lake is where people move to party? Weird.

**Timberridge** · 12-02-2020, 09:18 AM

It's kinda like music or acting. Or anything with the word "freelance" in front of it.

**BmillsSkier** · 12-02-2020, 09:26 AM

Originally Posted by hatchgreenchile

FastFred - our modern day Hemingway.
Complete bullshit or not, your posts always crack me up!
Best Summit County thread since TedSki's 2008 odyssey.

Take note Fred, that there's high praise.

**Timberridge** · 12-02-2020, 09:38 AM

Fredski

**Meadow Skipper** · 12-02-2020, 10:00 AM

I’m late to this party, but that was a really good read.

Originally Posted by fastfred

...it's all bullshit

Yeah, but it’s good bullshit.

**east or bust** · 12-02-2020, 10:03 AM

from the heart, amiright?

good stuff fred

**teleee** · 12-02-2020, 10:05 AM

Also late to the party, and I second that! It is a really good read, fact or fiction it sure rings a lot of truth!

I too moved to Colorado because of some chick. I just did it in reverse, in my 50's, met a girl on a fishing trip who just happened to be a professor in a Colorado Mountain town and voila I found myself moving to Colorado, less partying and drugs involved in my move.

**ill-advised strategy** · 12-02-2020, 10:21 AM

I shared times and places with many like this. My venn diagram intersects, but I had some differences. I was the very rare working class kid who grew up skiing. First in the neighborhood on janky thrift store nordic stuff, then on janky ski swap stuff on cheap childrens passes at a local hill in our city limits.
My single mom finished nursing school when I was in elementary school, we got around town on bikes and on foot and buses back then. We got a decent car when I was in middle school, and she got a second-step, better-paying kind of job when I was in high school. Between paper routes and teenage jobs and my mom doing better, when I was 16 I was able to get an 86 Subaru and start driving myself to the hill every day to run gates.
I loved racing, and I started beating a lot of racers with my mogul skis and regular clothes. My coach hooked me up with race skis and I got a suit and started getting podiums.
My real love was mogul skiing, but we had no team, so I just smashed moguls by myself and did a few of the goofy unaffiliated mogul comps they had at our local hill each year. Between race training and skiing moguls, I skied as hard as I could every day during ski season, the shin bang haunts my dreams. I did all kinds of homemade training in the off season. I recorded everything and anything ski related on TV, I went to the college library and read all the back issues of Ski and Skiing magazines, went to the ski hall of fame and read all the back issues of Powder.
So I was going to move to a ski town, there was never a doubt. I picked Crested Butte because the relatively new US Extremes were there, and I thought I could be there and ski the gnar with the best skiers.

I was in so far over my head with the party scene. I was too young to go to bars, not into hard drugs, the skanky ski town women and wild party dudes around seemed like some other species. I worked in a big rental shop with some great skiers: Gabe Robbins did really well in the CB comps for many years, Schroder Baker was in lots of ski media...so many others were just there ripping every day. I was so far out of my depth. I was overwhelmed. I got on the bus or hitchhiked back to my cabin at the end of every day and listened to the crazy FastFred stories in the shop the next day.

I was lucky enough to have some big-brother-like older guys around who kept an eye on me and made sure I was doing OK. I’m forever grateful to those guys who put me in better stations at work and taught me ski tech skills and invited me to their parties and sponsored me for my first comp. I don’t know what I would have done without all those bits of support and guidance through the first few years surrounded by all that wildness.

Amazingly, in that mid-90s Crested Butte setting, being mildly high all day, skiing wild steeps, and hitchhiking to my cabin drinking 4 or 5 Rainiers every night was looked at as painfully earnest...sooo square, next to the rock star stuff going on all around. Yesterdays clothes and giant pupils and glitter residue everywhere.

I’m glad we have a FastFred here...

**simple** · 12-02-2020, 10:23 AM

Question for those that moved to your ski state for a chick. Did the chick also come from out of state or did you find a local chick to marry? I'm thinking 99% found an out of state honey. I got serious with a few local girls but I found them to be pretty boring. You get culture and style by exploring the big cities. You also realize those cities are filled with assholes so moving to the mountains escapes it...unless you are an asshole and you just tainted that precious mountain town by moving there.

**Viva** · 12-02-2020, 10:27 AM

I moved to Remote Colorado to get away from chicks. Now I'm seeing one who lives in Vegas. Life sucks.

**adrenalated** · 12-02-2020, 11:07 AM

Originally Posted by fastfred

you can suck my balls, south park style, all the way

it was just a story for my remdeidal english writing class I took two years ago to make me smarter it's all bullshit

It was a great story, but mostly I was blown away by how coherent it was for a FF post, so I'm glad to see things are back to normal here.

**Timberridge** · 12-02-2020, 11:18 AM

I'm still trying to figure out why FFred took a remedial English class. Was Algebra 1 filled?

**BmillsSkier** · 12-02-2020, 11:35 AM

Pottery is where the easy A's are.

**dannynoonan** · 12-02-2020, 12:10 PM

Originally Posted by Timberridge

I'm still trying to figure out why FFred took a remedial English class. Was Algebra 1 filled?

More loose women in remedial English than in algebra, no doubt

**BmillsSkier** · 12-02-2020, 01:45 PM

Originally Posted by Timberridge

Fredski

I’ve been thinking about this. Do you think Ted and Fred crosses paths at all in Summit County?

Shit, for all we know Ted’s still there!

**Timberridge** · 12-02-2020, 02:34 PM

Certainly. They may have even slept with the same women.

**BmillsSkier** · 12-02-2020, 03:18 PM

Tedski was a charmer from his stories. Fred clearly is from his.

It's a near certainty I think.

**Bobcat Sig** · 12-02-2020, 04:59 PM

Originally Posted by simple

Question for those that moved to your ski state for a chick. Did the chick also come from out of state or did you find a local chick to marry? I'm thinking 99% found an out of state honey. I got serious with a few local girls but I found them to be pretty boring. You get culture and style by exploring the big cities. You also realize those cities are filled with assholes so moving to the mountains escapes it...unless you are an asshole and you just tainted that precious mountain town by moving there.

And how.

I found my wife in a ski town, and amazingly, she was from the same area as I and our parents grew up across the street from each other. Her mother remembers my grandmother as the school nurse. Serendipity, I guess.

We're now back in the area we grew up and I'm now painfully aware of what I miss in a mountain town; the lack of people (relatively speaking) and the near-immediate access to outdoor recreation.

Originally Posted by Timberridge

Certainly. They may have even slept with the same women.

In a ski town; it's not your girlfriend, it's your turn.