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Thread: Neighbors...

  1. #1
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    Neighbors...

    So, our neighborhood Trumpie has cameras and security lights that shine brighter than the sun into our (and our neighbor’s) windows whenever a car, dog, cat, Chupacabra, jackalope, or human goes by on the street. She was politely asked to chill it out, which was met with a hearty (between the lines) fuck off.
    so Thursday I snuck by her camera, and applied electrical tape to just 2/3’rds of her light’s sensor. It still goes off when she pulls in, but the sensor no longer can pick anything up from the street.
    Small victories, I guess. She hasn’t caught on.
    I’m a rebel.

    Got any passive-aggressive success stories?
    Forum Cross Pollinator

  2. #2
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    i had an asshole neighbor who was a professor. just constantly a dick, refused to wave back, called the cops occasionally when someone in the neighborhood played some music on their porch, etc. we moved but i found out he didn't make tenure at the college so fuck him.
    "With Hitler, the more I learn about the guy, the more I don't care for him." -Norm Macdonald

  3. #3
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    Yeah, fuck him right in the ass, along with SRAM!
    Forum Cross Pollinator

  4. #4
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    yeah, fuck that shit too
    "With Hitler, the more I learn about the guy, the more I don't care for him." -Norm Macdonald

  5. #5
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    Neighbour neglects his hounds, so they bark at the slightest disturbace in the neighbourhood. So I buy cheap chinese doggy biscuits and feed them through the fence. Keeps them quiet, the 2 pitbulls and one bernard X love anything that smells like us, and I can only imagine the rank farts from wuhan doggy biscuits (our hound can clear a room 1hr after consuming these cookies).

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by BCMtnHound View Post
    Neighbour neglects his hounds, so they bark at the slightest disturbace in the neighbourhood. So I buy cheap chinese doggy biscuits and feed them through the fence. Keeps them quiet, the 2 pitbulls and one bernard X love anything that smells like us, and I can only imagine the rank farts from wuhan doggy biscuits (our hound can clear a room 1hr after consuming these cookies).
    I had a neighbor in Las Vegas like that. I fed their dogs a couple of cans of refried beans through the fence.
    Quote Originally Posted by powder11 View Post
    if you have to resort to taking advice from the nitwits on this forum, then you're doomed.

  7. #7
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    I could totally win this thread, but I can't post about it.

  8. #8
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    The STR next door has unshielded porch lights that the renters like to leave on shining into our bedroom window. At least they would if I didn't keep taking out the light bulbs.
    We actually have a regulation against light trespass--your neighbors are not supposed to be able to see your outside lights. Now that we have an STR regulation I'm going to just keep reporting the place to code enforcement and get him shut down.
    And by the way--yesterday some of the renters' kids were having a snowball fight partly in our yard and I didn't say a word, which may surprise some of you. But I only yell at the adults.

  9. #9
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    My first thought at this thread title


  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by old goat View Post
    The STR next door has unshielded porch lights that the renters like to leave on shining into our bedroom window. At least they would if I didn't keep taking out the light bulbs.
    We actually have a regulation against light trespass--your neighbors are not supposed to be able to see your outside lights. Now that we have an STR regulation I'm going to just keep reporting the place to code enforcement and get him shut down.
    But I only yell at the clouds.
    so first you trespass and steal their lightbulbs
    then
    code enforcement ken em
    anyone ever tell you
    yur a shitty neighbor bro
    thou shall not steal dont apply to you?
    ya wanna narc people out for codes cool
    theft aint
    thats not straight chutin pardner
    our neighbors gave us a grand worth of rock
    and the wife brings them home cooked dinner every sunday
    #buildthewall

    winning
    "When the child was a child it waited patiently for the first snow and it still does"- Van "The Man" Morrison
    "I find I have already had my reward, in the doing of the thing" - Buzz Holmstrom
    "THIS IS WHAT WE DO"-AML -ski on in eternal peace
    "I have posted in here but haven't read it carefully with my trusty PoliAsshat antenna on."-DipshitDanno

  11. #11
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    A new neighbor moved in next door so I went to meet him. Said he is a professor of logic. Seems kinda weird so I asked him to explain what it was... so the professor asked if I had a doghouse. I said yes, so he asked if I had a dog. I said yes, so he asked if I had a family.... yes, so he asked if I was heterosexual. Well yes, and the professor said that that finding out he was heterosexual from having a doghouse was logic.

    So the FedEx guy stopped by with a package and I was telling him about the new neighbor and mentioned that he was a professor of logic. The guy wanted to know what the hell a professor of logic does.

    So I asked if he had a doghouse. The guy said no. So I said, "Oh, you're gay.”

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by rideit View Post
    So, our neighborhood Trumpie has cameras and security lights that shine brighter than the sun into our (and our neighbor’s) windows whenever a car, dog, cat, Chupacabra, jackalope, or human goes by on the street. She was politely asked to chill it out, which was met with a hearty (between the lines) fuck off.
    so Thursday I snuck by her camera, and applied electrical tape to just 2/3’rds of her light’s sensor. It still goes off when she pulls in, but the sensor no longer can pick anything up from the street.
    Small victories, I guess. She hasn’t caught on.
    I’m a rebel.

    Got any passive-aggressive success stories?
    Why no dogshit under the door handles?

  13. #13
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    One of our neighbors is a cop and when shit started going south he put lights outside the house. Then he put more up. Then a few more. Half are on light sensors so they go on a little before dark which is pretty early now and the others are on motion sensors. Basically the place is lit up like a baseball stadium at night very time a car goes by or a deer walks down the street. We've all asked him to tone it down and been told to shut up and go away. He says that if the people he has trouble with at work find out where he lives he wants to be able to see who he's shooting when they come to "visit". There's another guy at the corner that's a detective and he rigged the perimeter of his property with pressure and motion sensors that set off sirens when activated.

    Not only will the town not do anything they think it's a great idea and these two guys will keep us all safe with their "precautions". I can tell you that it sux when the critters are moving around at night and set everything off.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by rideit View Post
    So, our neighborhood Trumpie has cameras and security lights that shine brighter than the sun into our (and our neighbor’s) windows whenever a car, dog, cat, Chupacabra, jackalope, or human goes by on the street. She was politely asked to chill it out, which was met with a hearty (between the lines) fuck off.
    so Thursday I snuck by her camera, and applied electrical tape to just 2/3’rds of her light’s sensor. It still goes off when she pulls in, but the sensor no longer can pick anything up from the street.
    Small victories, I guess. She hasn’t caught on.
    I’m a rebel.

    Got any passive-aggressive success stories?
    Yeah, I had a neighbor fuck with the motion sensors on my outdoor motion lights so I bought high powered HPS flood lights, mounted them 35' up so they can't be reached without a ladder, and put photo sensors on them so they are on from dusk till dawn.... I can get a suntan at night now, should I be so inclined.

    Pro tip: If you don't like living near people, you should probably move somewhere where you can't see your neighbors. I love it when people live in the suburbs and get all snooty about their neighbors actions as if they didn't actually choose to live in a heavily populated shithole.

  15. #15
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    My neighbor sucks. He pulled some serious shit and if I did what I wanted to do to him I would be in jail. Lucky for me I have a buddhist wife that saved me from myself. So instead we put up a 6ft privacy fence straight down the property line, planted two dozen saplings, bushes and flowers. Seven years later the plants cover the fence so I can't see it. I cannot see anything he is doing. I haven't spoke to him, or acknowledged his existence in 7 years. He tries, I ignore. Things couldn't be better.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by skifishbum View Post
    so first you trespass and steal their lightbulbs
    then
    code enforcement ken em
    anyone ever tell you
    yur a shitty neighbor bro
    thou shall not steal dont apply to you?
    ya wanna narc people out for codes cool
    theft aint
    thats not straight chutin pardner
    our neighbors gave us a grand worth of rock
    and the wife brings them home cooked dinner every sunday
    #buildthewall

    winning
    Who pissed in your Cheerios? Next door motion lights in your bedroom suck, illegal STRs suck, and who’s he being a ‘shitty neighbor’ to, tourists? Fuck them. Props to OG for not bothering to try and get the local bullshit gendarmes to enforce the light thing. Viva direct action.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by MakersTeleMark View Post
    I could totally win this thread, but I can't post about it.
    Post under an alias, ya tease

  18. #18
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    I've got the Langmores as neighbors.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meadow Skipper View Post
    Who pissed in your Cheerios? Next door motion lights in your bedroom suck, illegal STRs suck, and who’s he being a ‘shitty neighbor’ to, tourists? Fuck them. Props to OG for not bothering to try and get the local bullshit gendarmes to enforce the light thing. Viva direct action.
    no body pissed in my cherios
    theives suck
    dont steal other peoples stuff
    .
    "When the child was a child it waited patiently for the first snow and it still does"- Van "The Man" Morrison
    "I find I have already had my reward, in the doing of the thing" - Buzz Holmstrom
    "THIS IS WHAT WE DO"-AML -ski on in eternal peace
    "I have posted in here but haven't read it carefully with my trusty PoliAsshat antenna on."-DipshitDanno

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by gravitylover View Post
    One of our neighbors is a cop and when shit started going south he put lights outside the house. Then he put more up. Then a few more. Half are on light sensors so they go on a little before dark which is pretty early now and the others are on motion sensors. Basically the place is lit up like a baseball stadium at night very time a car goes by or a deer walks down the street. We've all asked him to tone it down and been told to shut up and go away. He says that if the people he has trouble with at work find out where he lives he wants to be able to see who he's shooting when they come to "visit". There's another guy at the corner that's a detective and he rigged the perimeter of his property with pressure and motion sensors that set off sirens when activated.

    Not only will the town not do anything they think it's a great idea and these two guys will keep us all safe with their "precautions". I can tell you that it sux when the critters are moving around at night and set everything off.
    If you're up late anyway, get a drone, fly it around out there and trigger all the sensors. Freak him out.
    Quote Originally Posted by powder11 View Post
    if you have to resort to taking advice from the nitwits on this forum, then you're doomed.

  21. #21
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    Mags for neighbors to the north, they have 2 dogs, never hear from the hounds unless you approach them, all wags. +1

    Good folks to the south, their son is a laugh riot. +1. Everyone lives on an acre and leaves each other pretty much the fuck alone. One guy to the west is a bit much with all the shit in his yard (he owns a lot of animals) but is manageable.

    That is all.
    I have been in this State for 30 years and I am willing to admit that I am part of the problem.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by DeathRaven View Post

    Pro tip: If you don't like living near people, you should probably move somewhere where you can't see your neighbors. I love it when people live in the suburbs and get all snooty about their neighbors actions as if they didn't actually choose to live in a heavily populated shithole.
    ROFL at ‘heavily populated shithole’ !

    My way is working.

    She is happy, all the rest of the neighborhood is happy.

    Can I borrow 11 million so I can move to the West Bank?
    Last edited by rideit; 11-15-2020 at 09:42 AM.
    Forum Cross Pollinator

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by rideit View Post
    ROFL at ‘heavily populated shithole’ !

    My way is working.

    Can I borrow 11 million so I can move to the West Bank?
    Also, municipal codes usually have something to say about outside lighting. Full cut-off only, motherfucker!

    On a semi-related note, I am beyond relieved to no longer have to do municipal code enforcement as a part of my job. JHC that sucked.
    The truth doesn't care about your feelings.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by El Chupacabra View Post
    If you're up late anyway, get a drone, fly it around out there and trigger all the sensors. Freak him out.
    Haha I like that.

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by easyrdr View Post
    My neighbor sucks. He pulled some serious shit and if I did what I wanted to do to him I would be in jail. Lucky for me I have a buddhist wife that saved me from myself. So instead we put up a 6ft privacy fence straight down the property line, planted two dozen saplings, bushes and flowers. Seven years later the plants cover the fence so I can't see it. I cannot see anything he is doing. I haven't spoke to him, or acknowledged his existence in 7 years. He tries, I ignore. Things couldn't be better.
    Did you get a permit for the fence?

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