Sobriety

[willywhit]

Covid cloister is a muthafacka.
Big spike in booze and drug abuse. I finally pulled the plug and did 5 days in a rehab center. My head is still spinning from the experience.
6 weeks of no work turned into a bit of binge drinking. An old snowboarding buddy from out west mentioned he had gone on the wagon a month ago and it sparked a few phone conversations. he was on the same program. very successful guy. great hotty smart wife and 2 sons. stuck in the house week after week, the day drinking slowly escalated until it became a real problem. This dude is a hot shit snowboarder, successful businessman and a hardcore dead head back in the day. great guy.
big respect for him.
did some zoom meetings with him. I've done AA on and off for years and never really thought I had a ...problem.
then, last week, I went on a bender. impending election, an old friend passed away. I was so fed up.
put myself in the hospital for 2 days. couldn't eat or drink even water. so nauseous. afraid I might have a seizure.
they offered me a rehab program and I swallowed hard and said FUCK IT...why not?
Clearly, booze had become...a problem.
I could go on for 3 pages on the experience. Good and bad.
I really want to hear the feedback from you guys.
I still want to believe that I can control my drinking because 99% of the time, I can.
it's that bender mode that becomes a big...problem.
Maybe I should quit entirely, but I really enjoy the party and stay in control most of the time.
any and all feedback is encouraged.
slippery slope, that booze.
I can usually make it down a no fall zone but sometimes a lil slip turns into cartwheels to the bottom.

[glademaster]

Just my $0.02, but I would delete this post-haste.

[m2711c]

One day at a time brother.... one day at a time.

[seano732]

Just my $0.02, but I would delete this post-haste.

Why?

[Aldo]

"I still want to believe that I can control my drinking because 99% of the time, I can.
it's that bender mode that becomes a big...problem.
Maybe I should quit entirely, but I really enjoy the party and stay in control most of the time."

Props for tapping the brakes. It's the 1% of the time you'll want every time.
Hard to have 1 when you really want 20....

Keep it up man.

[frorider]

Congrats on taking that first step.

[whyturn]

Control is an illusion I believe and in your case it sounds like you have a hard time putting it down on a bender. I would say you are already rationalizing and that it’s just best to quit now while you can.

Coming up on 20 years sober next year and the best thing I ever did at that time


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[liv2ski]

Moderation my friend. All things are ok in moderation. If you can't deal with moderation, then it is time to just stop. Take care.

[gaijin]

Most alcoholics don’t have the -ism part of alcoholism. It seems you do... where one drink changes your brain and the other personality suddenly appears and takes control of the decisions.

Sobriety will be much easier if you quit 100%. It’s those single “take the edge off” drinks that will torture you.

Five days is well past the physical detox. Purely psychological at this point. But don’t let that scare you.

“Quit drinking the easy way” is a book that has some simple language in it to help with the psychological battle. A one hour read that is worth it if just for the simplification of all the madness you are feeling.

[riser3]

Covid cloister is a muthafacka.
Big spike in booze and drug abuse. I finally pulled the plug and did 5 days in a rehab center. My head is still spinning from the experience.
6 weeks of no work turned into a bit of binge drinking. An old snowboarding buddy from out west mentioned he had gone on the wagon a month ago and it sparked a few phone conversations. he was on the same program. very successful guy. great hotty smart wife and 2 sons. stuck in the house week after week, the day drinking slowly escalated until it became a real problem. This dude is a hot shit snowboarder, successful businessman and a hardcore dead head back in the day. great guy.
big respect for him.
did some zoom meetings with him. I've done AA on and off for years and never really thought I had a ...problem.
then, last week, I went on a bender. impending election, an old friend passed away. I was so fed up.
put myself in the hospital for 2 days. couldn't eat or drink even water. so nauseous. afraid I might have a seizure.
they offered me a rehab program and I swallowed hard and said FUCK IT...why not?
Clearly, booze had become...a problem.
I could go on for 3 pages on the experience. Good and bad.
I really want to hear the feedback from you guys.
I still want to believe that I can control my drinking because 99% of the time, I can.
it's that bender mode that becomes a big...problem.
Maybe I should quit entirely, but I really enjoy the party and stay in control most of the time.
any and all feedback is encouraged.
slippery slope, that booze.
I can usually make it down a no fall zone but sometimes a lil slip turns into cartwheels to the bottom.

Definitely quit the booze. Tell me more about the drugs.

[jackstraw]

Covid cloister is a muthafacka.
Big spike in booze and drug abuse. I finally pulled the plug and did 5 days in a rehab center. My head is still spinning from the experience.
6 weeks of no work turned into a bit of binge drinking. An old snowboarding buddy from out west mentioned he had gone on the wagon a month ago and it sparked a few phone conversations. he was on the same program. very successful guy. great hotty smart wife and 2 sons. stuck in the house week after week, the day drinking slowly escalated until it became a real problem. This dude is a hot shit snowboarder, successful businessman and a hardcore dead head back in the day. great guy.
big respect for him.
did some zoom meetings with him. I've done AA on and off for years and never really thought I had a ...problem.
then, last week, I went on a bender. impending election, an old friend passed away. I was so fed up.
put myself in the hospital for 2 days. couldn't eat or drink even water. so nauseous. afraid I might have a seizure.
they offered me a rehab program and I swallowed hard and said FUCK IT...why not?
Clearly, booze had become...a problem.
I could go on for 3 pages on the experience. Good and bad.
I really want to hear the feedback from you guys.
I still want to believe that I can control my drinking because 99% of the time, I can.
it's that bender mode that becomes a big...problem.
Maybe I should quit entirely, but I really enjoy the party and stay in control most of the time.
any and all feedback is encouraged.
slippery slope, that booze.
I can usually make it down a no fall zone but sometimes a lil slip turns into cartwheels to the bottom.

Kudos for taking that step. I think you will make the right decision on what's best for you and your family based on what you just wrote. You're clearly not in denial about having an issue. Best of luck! You can do it!

[Neil Fiedler (Not Neil Armstrong)]

Life ain't so bad without the booze, Shit gets ugly when the ol-check-liver light comes on.. Or worse case scenario, you lose everything to a DUI/Vehicular homicide.
I was a functional alcoholic for 10+ years and thought I had it under control, No DUI, No violence, No family abuse, Just a 18-24 pk of beer a day and never really drunk. (I'm not a small man) But it can have a strong hold on you if you let it. Hard part is Beer is fucking delicious... and lowers the give-a-fuck-o-meter for tolerating the world.
Get some folks around you who you can trust and keep you accountable. Remove the assholes from your life and find an outlet.
Think of the cheddar you'll save not buying booze.. More $ for ski's and fun shit.
Keep your head up.

[Danno]

Good on ya for recognizing a problem and doing something about it.

I can't tell you whether you need to become sober permanently or not. In my early 20s I went through an alcoholic phase, maybe 6 months, where I drank to massive excess, did stupid shit, couldn't control myself, went to work wickedly hungover (maybe still drunk) and would scrape through the day and then start drinking and repeat, that kind of shit. I grew out of it without having to get sober. Obviously, you're not gonna grow out of this, but it is possible that the experience you just had gives you the fortitude to enforce moderation. Or maybe you can't.

Good luck. There's a whole thread in here dedicated to sobriety, maybe it is worth a read.

[Dantheman]

It's hard for me to even fathom how drinking 24 beers per day is possible. Forget the alcohol even, that's over two gallons of fluid. Drinking one gallon of water per day is a lot. How are you not continuously pissing all day long?

[TahoeJ]

Maybe you need to quit permanently, maybe not. Or maybe you just need some time for a proper reset. More people than not are drinking WAY more right now with everything going on (myself included, try covid plus an ugly divorce at the same time). So I think it's a bit quick to jump to the conclusion that you can never drink again... but deep down you're the only one who knows the real answer.

[Cono Este]

Good job on the rehab man. Think of yourself as an athlete. Expect yourself to perform during the day, and see that drinking won’t allow that. As you age, you have to work harder on health.

I’m in my best shape in 20 yrs, but i too am battling the wine with Covid.


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[MTT]

Covid cloister is a muthafacka.
Big spike in booze and drug abuse. I finally pulled the plug and did 5 days in a rehab center. My head is still spinning from the experience.
6 weeks of no work turned into a bit of binge drinking. An old snowboarding buddy from out west mentioned he had gone on the wagon a month ago and it sparked a few phone conversations. he was on the same program. very successful guy. great hotty smart wife and 2 sons. stuck in the house week after week, the day drinking slowly escalated until it became a real problem. This dude is a hot shit snowboarder, successful businessman and a hardcore dead head back in the day. great guy.
big respect for him.
did some zoom meetings with him. I've done AA on and off for years and never really thought I had a ...problem.
then, last week, I went on a bender. impending election, an old friend passed away. I was so fed up.
put myself in the hospital for 2 days. couldn't eat or drink even water. so nauseous. afraid I might have a seizure.
they offered me a rehab program and I swallowed hard and said FUCK IT...why not?
Clearly, booze had become...a problem.
I could go on for 3 pages on the experience. Good and bad.
I really want to hear the feedback from you guys.
I still want to believe that I can control my drinking because 99% of the time, I can.
it's that bender mode that becomes a big...problem.
Maybe I should quit entirely, but I really enjoy the party and stay in control most of the time.
any and all feedback is encouraged.
slippery slope, that booze.
I can usually make it down a no fall zone but sometimes a lil slip turns into cartwheels to the bottom.

I have been dry about 10 weeks now. I quit cold turkey "not the first time". It was bad. No sleep for 3 days. Could not Walk. I did have a violent sezure. Alone sitting in the recliner.
Could not hold a glass or spoon for almost a week.
It's was so bad the thought of drinking makes me I'll. I hope it stays that way.

Good luck too you.

Drinking is a nice escape until it's not.
I got lucky no DUI no violence. Just watching my soul and everything I enjoy sucked away.

I should not even have typed this. But as they tell you, everyone here has been through it. People you would never suspect.

I have developed quite the coffee habit

[SkiBall]

You need to figure out if you’re a cucumber or a pickle. Only you know. Ok, some of hose around probably know too.

[N1CK.]

Thanks to everybody for sharing. This talk comes up in most (all?) of our lives sooner or later. Honest discussion is good and can help somebody, even if it's not you.

[MTT]

It's hard for me to even fathom how drinking 24 beers per day is possible. Forget the alcohol even, that's over two gallons of fluid. Drinking one gallon of water per day is a lot. How are you not continuously pissing all day long?

Different people different behavior. I have known lots of people who drink a case a day. I was up to 750 ml Jamison a night. And I mean over an 8 hour period. No shots all day. But around dinner time I liked a couple shots to just kinda check out and make dinner go down good. And then one day you just keep filling the glass till the bottles empty. Next afternoon you buy another one. Months later I realized this is your life. And your not doing anything fun.

Time to get off the ride and return to your life.

Some of us become physically addicted. Many do. And very few are tough enough to just stop. Or stupid enough.

Let's just say all of us could write a slightly different book.

My take, the only way to win is not to play.

[Carl_Mega]

Look at MTT talking some truth. I remember writing to you during your cry for help thread some years ago; good on you for getting there.

As a younger man, I didn't understand the nuances around control and would not have given this advice: if you find yourself pondering giving up booze for your own well being and are struggling with that decision, you need to stop. Here's the upside: your life will be better. Guaranteed.

[fastfred]

Control is an illusion I believe and in your case it sounds like you have a hard time putting it down on a bender. I would say you are already rationalizing and that it’s just best to quit now while you can.

Coming up on 20 years sober next year and the best thing I ever did at that time

this is a gift and a lot of work

Covid cloister is a muthafacka.

I still want to believe that I can control my drinking because 99% of the time, I can.
:

don't kid yourself you can't be honest


god grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference

[muted]

I have been dry about 10 weeks now. But as they tell you, everyone here has been through it. People you would never suspect.

Mad respect for doing that. It's not easy.

But to be honest, we all suspected you.

[MTT]

Mad respect for doing that. It's not easy.

But to be honest, we all suspected you.

Well, as a select few are aware, I have some pretty shitty external pressure in my world. And sometimes it gets you down. I have and could do other things. In the past. Including not drinking or drinking socially.

And then I could not.

Funny part ,. Drunk Mikey is home and harmless.

This thinking sober Mike is the one to be afraid of.

[Sharon Needles]