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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Central OR
    Posts
    5,399

    Help me kill a shit-ton of gophers

    And no, not Minnesota athletes...

    Since my last dog died, the gophers have infested my field, and are encroaching on my yard. I want to keep the little fuckers from getting into my garden. Iíve tried a few poisons , but nothing seems to slow them down. I donít want repellent, that crap doesnít work; I want them to die.

    What works? And no, Iím not getting a Jack Russell.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    2 hours from anything
    Posts
    8,351
    Garden hose down the hole and a pellet gun or shotgun always worked for me. Try to find all the holes and block all but two. One for the hose, another for the gun.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    79
    It's easy, you just have to think like a gopher

    https://youtu.be/GvdHXnuaho4

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Central OR
    Posts
    5,399
    Quote Originally Posted by neufox47 View Post
    Garden hose down the hole and a pellet gun or shotgun always worked for me. Try to find all the holes and block all but two. One for the hose, another for the gun.
    Find the holes? Fuck, there are hundreds; where to start?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    valley of the heart's delight
    Posts
    920
    I'd try dry ice in the holes. Displaces the oxygen, they go gently to sleep, long sleep. In theory. Makes Peta upset, so probably works. When driving it home, keep a window cracked.

    Or this looks more fun
    10/01/2012 Site was upgraded to 300 baud.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    At the beach
    Posts
    13,898
    Hmmm, seems like a quick way to turn your soil if needed.
    Quote Originally Posted by leroy jenkins View Post
    I think you'd have an easier time understanding people if you remembered that 80% of them are fucking morons.
    That is why I like dogs, more than most people.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    STL
    Posts
    9,688
    Same thing happened to me when my dog died. You canít win, trust me Iíve tried everything, including flooding the entire yard, booby traps, etc

    Get the solar stakes that vibrate. Send them to your neighbors yard. They work.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Dystopia
    Posts
    11,402
    You can’t kill golfers!
    ďLife has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.Ē
    Hunter S. Thompson

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Posts
    298
    They're tunneling in from the construction site over yonder. You should slap an injunction on them so fast it'll make their head spin.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    11,268
    Google Beruit. Gopher free since Mon.

    Haven't we been down this road before? or was that wasps?
    "timberridge is terminally vapid" -- a fortune cookie in Yueyang

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    General Sherman's Favorite City
    Posts
    21,329
    Quote Originally Posted by Timberridge View Post
    Google Beruit. Gopher free since Mon.

    Haven't we been down this road before? or was that wasps?
    Yep, and I’ve been Yellowjacket free since last year.

    And my yard didn’t burn down.

    Win - win.
    I still call it The Jake.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    11,268
    Nice. Use explosives and flammables judiciously. Being overzealous is a recipe for disaster.

    What about contacting the CDC and asking them to send you a gopher specific pathogen? They probably have something left over from the Plum Island days.

    If that fails I'm sure the Chinese can cook something up.
    "timberridge is terminally vapid" -- a fortune cookie in Yueyang

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    An Anheuser-Busch Barley Field
    Posts
    4,727
    Hire some boogaloo boys?

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    6,608
    Licensed to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. A man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit -- ever. They're like the Viet Cong -- Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that's all she wrote.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    EWA
    Posts
    17,900
    Put up some barn owl boxes and get some cats
    ďWhen you see something that is not right, not just, not fair, you have a moral obligation to say something. To do something." Rep. John Lewis


    Kindness is a bridge between all people

    Dunkiní Donuts Worker Dances With Customer Who Has Autism

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    In the swamp
    Posts
    7,753
    You canít kill gapers!

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    200
    Quote Originally Posted by LongShortLong View Post
    I'd try dry ice in the holes. Displaces the oxygen, they go gently to sleep, long sleep. In theory. Makes Peta upset, so probably works. When driving it home, keep a window cracked.

    Or this looks more fun
    This works.

    And yes, if you drive with it in the car, open a window or you can suffocate inside your car.

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    1,667
    Rodent smoke bombs. Same idea as the dry ice, removes all the O2 from the burrows. Theyíre pretty cheap.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    Before
    Posts
    22,038

    Use several small plastic bottles, cram them down the burrows.
    Merde De Glace On the Freak When Ski
    >>>200 cm Black Bamboo Sidewalled DPS Lotus 120 : Best Skis Ever <<<

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Ventura Highway in the Sunshine
    Posts
    22,039
    Quote Originally Posted by Core Shot View Post
    You can’t kill golfers!
    You can if they don't replace their divots, or drive onto the greens. They are more destuctive then gophers.

    I agree it is a constitutional right for Americans to be assholes...its just too bad that so many take the opportunity...
    iscariot

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    SE USA
    Posts
    2,501
    Quote Originally Posted by Peruvian View Post
    A man, free to kill gophers at will.
    we don't even need a permit for that
    "Can't you see..."

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Ventura Highway in the Sunshine
    Posts
    22,039
    For large areas, this is the best way to go.

    https://gopherx.com/gopher-x-pest-control-devices

    Friend of mine runs landscape maintenance for dozen of large Palm Springs projects and swears by this. Not cheap, but effective. Cheaper version are available, but a hose attached to the exhaust of a leaf blower or lawn mower would probably work. Just don't do it too close to houses as the CO can travel throughout the burrow and possible come up in 90 year old Aunt Matilda's bedroom, which is not necessarily a bad thing if you are in her will.

    I agree it is a constitutional right for Americans to be assholes...its just too bad that so many take the opportunity...
    iscariot

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Ventura Highway in the Sunshine
    Posts
    22,039
    Mr Gopher meet Mr Bunny...no, he's not plastic explosives.

    I agree it is a constitutional right for Americans to be assholes...its just too bad that so many take the opportunity...
    iscariot

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    62
    Quote Originally Posted by Flyoverland Captive View Post
    Find the holes? Fuck, there are hundreds; where to start?
    Start with the ones you know. Cover / fill them in, then use a non lethal smoke bomb to find the ones you don't.

    22 longs work great. Never tried dry ice but it sounds a lot better then poisons.

    Quote Originally Posted by Peruvian View Post
    To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit -- ever. They're like the Viet Cong -- Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that's all she wrote.
    You need a multifaceted approach. And they will try to come back. After you kill them all the deterrence phase kicks in.

    Quote Originally Posted by KQ View Post
    Put up some barn owl boxes and get some cats

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    PRB
    Posts
    23,507
    Has anyone yet told you to hire Carl Spackler? Because that's what you should do.
    "fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
    "She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin
    "I'd eat a bag of Dicks and wash it down with a Coke any day." - iceman

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