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  1. #8626
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    Dec 2012
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    ^Are you advocating throwing a blue tarp over fastfred?
    "timberridge is terminally vapid" -- a fortune cookie in Yueyang

  2. #8627
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    Mar 2006
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    General Sherman's Favorite City
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    Lol. No one blue tarps Fred.
    I still call it The Jake.

  3. #8628
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    Nov 2005
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    Down In A Hole, Up in the Sky
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    Upstate starter home
    Name:  37847597-FBF7-403C-949E-F910867EC6F1.jpeg
Views: 196
Size:  62.6 KB
    Forum Cross Pollinator, gratuitously strident

  4. #8629
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    Sep 2018
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    5,083
    Quote Originally Posted by rideit View Post
    Upstate starter home
    Name:  37847597-FBF7-403C-949E-F910867EC6F1.jpeg
Views: 196
Size:  62.6 KB
    Starter home my ass. That's two stories tall.

  5. #8630
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    2,299
    Quote Originally Posted by rideit View Post
    Upstate starter home
    Name:  37847597-FBF7-403C-949E-F910867EC6F1.jpeg
Views: 196
Size:  62.6 KB
    “Shit, All the Tyvek blew off. What are we gonna do now?”

    I’ve had thoughts in the past of putting together a blue tarp wall tent but it seems like a lot of work when I don’t have an actual use for it. Maybe a blue tarp tepee would be good.

  6. #8631
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    Mar 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by rideit View Post
    Upstate starter home
    Name:  37847597-FBF7-403C-949E-F910867EC6F1.jpeg
Views: 196
Size:  62.6 KB
    That thing looks about as stable as I imagined STFU&GBTW's paint can shaker of a house.
    I still call it The Jake.

  7. #8632
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    Dec 2012
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    15,664
    The sound of the constant fluttering of the tarp in even the slightest of breezes eventually drove him into a kratom induced haze.
    "timberridge is terminally vapid" -- a fortune cookie in Yueyang

  8. #8633
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    Mar 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by Timberridge View Post
    The sound of the constant fluttering of the tarp in even the slightest of breezes eventually drove him into a kratom induced haze.
    That reminds me, these things have been all the rage at the beach the last couple years. At first I thought, hey, now there's a good idea, cause setting up some shade at the beach, especially single-handed and when it's windy, is a serious pain in the ass.

    Now when you stroll past a few of these set up together it sounds like the people are sitting under giant tarps flapping in the breeze. When there's no wind, they hang flat giving no shade and looking like someone is drying out the drapes. All for $250.

    I still call it The Jake.

  9. #8634
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    Sep 2001
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    Babylon
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    12,483
    Somebody from the upstate "painting houses" in OH?
    A few days after he disappeared, the body of a 47-year-old missing man was found wrapped in a tarp, according to Ohio authorities.

    Victor Huff of Lakewood, Ohio, got up for work as usual on Aug. 2, said goodbye to his wife, and disappeared, News 5 Cleveland reported.

    His family never saw or heard from him again.

    Huff never made it to his job, where he worked as an electrician, and never replied to his wife’s voicemails and text messages, Fox 8 reported. He did make two withdrawals from an ATM, totaling about $500, police told Fox 8.

    His wife reported him as missing to the Lakewood Police the next day, News 5 Cleveland reported, citing authorities.

  10. #8635
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    Mar 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by Woodsy View Post
    Somebody from the upstate "painting houses" in OH?
    Gross. Sounds like he was robbed, taken around to a couple ATMs to take out the max amount and then murdered when the ATM spree dried up.
    I still call it The Jake.

  11. #8636
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    Aug 2016
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    关你屁事
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    7,759
    Quote Originally Posted by rideit View Post
    Upstate starter home
    Name:  37847597-FBF7-403C-949E-F910867EC6F1.jpeg
Views: 196
Size:  62.6 KB
    cut openings for the windows, glue down the tyvek, minimalist interior and you could sell it for a couple million at PowMo

  12. #8637
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    Mar 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by dunfree View Post
    cut openings for the windows, glue down the tyvek, minimalist interior and you could sell it for a couple million at PowMo
    The 800K-1MM 2br/1ba market has significantly cooled in the last month. Maybe add some vinyl on top of that Tyvek and you’ve got something.
    I still call it The Jake.

  13. #8638
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    Jan 2019
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    59715
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    Quote Originally Posted by BmillsSkier View Post
    Gross. Sounds like he was robbed, taken around to a couple ATMs to take out the max amount and then murdered when the ATM spree dried up.
    Sounds like he wasn't paying his bills to certain people.

  14. #8639
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    Mar 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by I Skied Bandini Mountain View Post
    Sounds like he wasn't paying his bills to certain people.
    That was my initial thought. CLE is a very old city filled with some savage motherfuckers that were car bombing each other as recently as the early 80s.

    Not Lakewood, mind you, where this poor guy hailed from, but the other more historically ethnic villages for sure.
    I still call it The Jake.

  15. #8640
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    Nov 2005
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    Down In A Hole, Up in the Sky
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    33,093
    Well, I truly believe that some New Yorkers and Floridians are cousins.
    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	EA2DDC0F-65A3-45C1-A5E5-24803276CFA8.jpg 
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    Forum Cross Pollinator, gratuitously strident

  16. #8641
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    Mar 2006
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    Would you look at that.

    It’s like the Dèrelicte Collection in real life.
    I still call it The Jake.

  17. #8642
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    Jan 2010
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    your vacation
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    3,690
    Quote Originally Posted by hatchgreenchile View Post
    If we're trending in the Google searches, I have serious concerns about exposing the world to characters like FastFred. Think of the children!
    your children would love to live my life I'm every ski bums fantasy you know think of a 16 year old high drunk and on acid driving around upstate with no concerns and fears wasting their days away high as a kite at second dam or flat rock rolling into work in the late afternoon buzzed to the sky driving a 76 nova in the middle of the night back to ithaca from darien lake cause I was the last man standing after a day of teenage stupidity and drugs then for some bizzare reason after hanging out in a flop house on staten island they end up in breckenridge for the rest of their life what could be better way to be

  18. #8643
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    Nov 2012
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    GNARvada
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    4,308
    FKNA Fred, FKNA

  19. #8644
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    Sep 2001
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    Babylon
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    Quote Originally Posted by fastfred View Post
    n for some bizzare reason after hanging out in a flop house on staten island they end up in breckenridge for the rest of their life
    You seeem to be glossing over a very interesting part of the story, or at least an epic road trip

  20. #8645
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
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    15,664
    Quote Originally Posted by Woodsy View Post
    You seeem to be glossing over a very interesting part of the story, or at least an epic road trip
    Fred recounts events like my ex BIL. It would go like this...

    He'd be recounting the time he woke up on his parents lawn wrapped in a bloody blanket bleeding from his head after which his parents called an ambulance and he spent two days in the hospital recovering from alcohol poisioning and various other traumas.

    You're thinking, "crazy story," but at some point in the story he would casually mention a boat sinking. It would take me a few moments to process that and I would interrupt and ask, "hold on, a boat sank?"

    Yes, apparently they borrowed his friends boat and someone forgot to put the drain plug in and a mile or so offshore the boat sank in the Atlantic and they were rescued by the CG.

    Now to me, that's a central theme in the story. But to him it was just part of the background.
    "timberridge is terminally vapid" -- a fortune cookie in Yueyang

  21. #8646
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    Mar 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by Timberridge View Post
    Fred recounts events like my ex BIL. It would go like this...

    He'd be recounting the time he woke up on his parents lawn wrapped in a bloody blanket bleeding from his head after which his parents called an ambulance and he spent two days in the hospital recovering from alcohol poisioning and various other traumas.

    You're thinking, "crazy story," but at some point in the story he would casually mention a boat sinking. It would take me a few moments to process that and I would interrupt and ask, "hold on, a boat sank?"

    Yes, apparently they borrowed his friends boat and someone forgot to put the drain plug in and a mile or so offshore the boat sank in the Atlantic and they were rescued by the CG.

    Now to me, that's a central theme in the story. But to him it was just part of the background.
    Sounds like a fun guy.
    I still call it The Jake.

  22. #8647
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    Sep 2001
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    Babylon
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    Quote Originally Posted by BmillsSkier View Post
    Sounds like a fun guy.
    Fungi may explain how Fred got from Shaolin to Colorado's Playground

  23. #8648
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    Dec 2012
    Location
    I can still smell Poutine.
    Posts
    19,736
    Quote Originally Posted by fastfred View Post
    your children would love to live my life I'm every ski bums fantasy you know think of a 16 year old high drunk and on acid driving around upstate with no concerns and fears wasting their days away high as a kite at second dam or flat rock rolling into work in the late afternoon buzzed to the sky driving a 76 nova in the middle of the night back to ithaca from darien lake cause I was the last man standing after a day of teenage stupidity and drugs then for some bizzare reason after hanging out in a flop house on staten island they end up in breckenridge for the rest of their life what could be better way to be
    And a blatant disregard for punctuation! He don't need no stinkin punctuation.

  24. #8649
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    Mar 2006
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    I always forget that Staten Is. is Shaolin.

    Fred is pretty Wu.
    I still call it The Jake.

  25. #8650
    Join Date
    Sep 2018
    Posts
    5,083
    Quote Originally Posted by Timberridge View Post
    Fred recounts events like my ex BIL. It would go like this...

    He'd be recounting the time he woke up on his parents lawn wrapped in a bloody blanket bleeding from his head after which his parents called an ambulance and he spent two days in the hospital recovering from alcohol poisioning and various other traumas.

    You're thinking, "crazy story," but at some point in the story he would casually mention a boat sinking. It would take me a few moments to process that and I would interrupt and ask, "hold on, a boat sank?"

    Yes, apparently they borrowed his friends boat and someone forgot to put the drain plug in and a mile or so offshore the boat sank in the Atlantic and they were rescued by the CG.

    Now to me, that's a central theme in the story. But to him it was just part of the background.

    Quote Originally Posted by BmillsSkier View Post
    Sounds like a fun guy.
    Sounds like an entire friend group of mine. I've got a buddy roaming around Europe right now cause he freaked out and quit his high paying VP job and went on tour to watch Tori Amos in Britain. Seriously, that actually happened. Every fucking time I talk to him there's sinking boat.

    Me: Why are you in Prague?
    Him: Oh, I heard about this super cool auto museum from this model I was with for a few days in Paris that also has a section full of photographs of famous movie stars from the 80s and I wanted to see it. Trains in Europe are fantastic. Also, This french woman just talked at me in a hottub for 20 minutes, and then her boyfriend looked at me and said, in french, this woman is fucking crazy, and then the woman just got louder and hurled french at me for another 10 minutes. Also, Slovakia is pretty dope. It's got these cities that are like little US mountain towns. Biking, trail running, everything.
    Me: Um, ok. You borrowing a bike to ride? Mountain or road? WAIT! Model?! What model?! What the fuck model were you with in Paris?!?!

    And yes, he has family upstate new york ties.

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