Things old guys say.

[iceman]

"So recht von herzen hundsgemein können nur verwandte sein"

Google translate's not much help with that one: https://translate.google.com/?hl=en&...rwandte%20sein

[Core Shot]

Google translate's not much help with that one: https://translate.google.com/?hl=en&...rwandte%20sein

[BCMtnHound]

Google translate's not much help with that one: https://translate.google.com/?hl=en&...rwandte%20sein

It translates poorly, and maybe a german fluent mag can tell it better. It goes along the lines that it's only acceptable to be a dirty hound when you are a member of the pack. Dad would say it when he was being crude and a shit disturber after a couple drinks, and was called on it.

[Just Looking]

from an old marine gym teacher - Be smarter than the machine you operate, and the previously referenced, there are more horses' asses' than there are horses.

[Core Shot]

It translates poorly, and maybe a german fluent mag can tell it better. It goes along the lines that it's only acceptable to be a dirty hound when you are a member of the pack. Dad would say it when he was being crude and a shit disturber after a couple drinks, and was called on it.

Damn. I was hoping it was about a scratched record or a hovercraft full of eels.

[old goat]

The only one I remember from my grandfather "capitalists should be lined up against a wall and shot" (That's a repeat, I know.)
I'm sure there were others from my grandparents and parents but they were all in Yiddish and I didn't understand them (that was the point).

I've always like "he couldn't pour piss out of a boot if you wrote the directions on the bottom". Also, as Levon Helm said about Robbie Robertson "I wouldn't piss up his asshole if his guts were on fire."

[Bunion 2020]

"The fuck you looking at"?

Or, "You couldn't say shit, even if you had a mouth full".

Or, "Fuck you and the horse you rode on in". I think I may have used that one here recently but I am kind of old.

[Flounder]

Liquor? I don't even know her!

[Peruvian]

That's not a real car, it couldn't pull a limp dick out of a bowl of pudding.







I have never seen a limp dick in a bowl of pudding or a... never mind.

Gen X version

[Core Shot]

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-52843846

In a sex fantasy gone wrong, two men with machetes entered the wrong house in New South Wales, Australia, before quickly realising their error.
One of them has now been acquitted of entering a home armed with a weapon in July 2019, Australian media report.
They had been hired to carry out a client's fantasy of being tied up in his underwear and stroked with a broom.
The judge concluded that "the facts of the case are unusual".
The role play was arranged over Facebook by a man near Griffith, New South Wales, who provided his address to the hired pair.
"He was willing to pay A$5,000 if it was 'really good'," the judge said.

[Tamburello Rouge]

My dad: "He didn't know whether to shit and go blind or squint and fart!"

[PB]

Didn't really know grand parents, and Dad was pretty milky, so I'll carry the family name being will into geezerdom:
Fuck you and the horse you rode in on always feels universally applicable.

But Core Shot's quoting Benny pretty much closed the thread.

[skaredshtles]

Gen X version

Word.

[dtown]

A coupleI have:

You get up in the morning all disheveled and grandpa says: look at what you see when you don’t have a gun

If you had a head you’d have an ass




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[iceman]

Didn't really know grand parents, and Dad was pretty milky,..

no clue what that means

[iceman]

A coupleI have:

You get up in the morning all disheveled and grandpa says: look at what you see when you don’t have a gun

If you had a head you’d have an ass

I'm stumped again.

[muted]

I’ll drop you like a bad habit!

Took me a few years to get a comeback: Bad habits are hard to drop, Dad.

[riser4]

Word.

Ya, well I'm gonna fuck the chicken.

[wooley12]

If you lend your tools, the best you can do break even. My FIL. He was a German Guild cabinet maker. He had to make his own tools but it holds true.

You can paint a barn red or you can paint a barn yellow, it's still a barn. My old farmer neighbor. Said to his wife when she asked how he liked her new dress.

[pfluffenmeister]

You can wish in one hand and shit in the other.
See which one fills up first.

[Marshall Tucker]

Where we goin ? "Over yonder"

[Kenny Satch]

You can wish in one hand and shit in the other.
See which one fills up first.

I'm going to use that one. That'll help shut up some of "the youngins"

[::: :::]

My old lax coach (wisdom or surliness?): “balls move faster than assholes!”

[glademaster]

One of my dad's favorites: "If the queen had balls, she would be king."

"If you can't beat 'em with brains, baffle 'em with bullshit."

"You're so full of shit your eyes are brown."

"There's some-dumb and plumb-dumb."

In reference to a woman in a bad mood: "someone needs to throw her some cock."

My 94 year old grandmother refers to dying as "getting planted in the marble orchard."

"If you're going to be a liar, you better have a damn good memory."

[Self Jupiter]

my old lax coach would love that one. Guy had the craziest North Shore accent