Things old guys say.

[frorider]

Some good ones here that definitely made me think of my grandfather, RIP. Like ‘that smell would bring a tear to a glass eye’ and ‘wouldn’t trade you for a 100 dog turds’.

Reminds me: he used to always say ‘That guy wouldn’t know shit from Shinola’. As a kid I had no idea what Shinola was, but hearing this repeatedly meant I associated Shinola with shit. So when there was an effort recently to rebirth the brand and have Shinola watches and things like that, I couldn’t picture anyone buying one.

[iceman]

"Do you think I just fell out of the turnip truck"

Also in the same situation he'd sometimes say, "Hey I didn't just fall off the turnip truck."

huh. I thought was a grampa original, but I guess not.

[riser4]

I was born at night, but not last night.

[iceman]

now wait a minute

[smartyiak]

Some good ones here that definitely made me think of my grandfather, RIP. Like ‘that smell would bring a tear to a glass eye’ and ‘wouldn’t trade you for a 100 dog turds’.

Reminds me: he used to always say ‘That guy wouldn’t know shit from Shinola’. As a kid I had no idea what Shinola was, but hearing this repeatedly meant I associated Shinola with shit. So when there was an effort recently to rebirth the brand and have Shinola watches and things like that, I couldn’t picture anyone buying one.

That's hilarious b/c my dad said that a lot...and I had exactly the same thought as you when I saw the watches and bikes.

[MiddleOfNight]

just over that next rise (just around that next bend)
cut hay when the sun shines
even a blind squirrel finds a nut sometimes
the sun shines on every dogs a** once in his life
nothin' in life is all good, or all bad
don't wanna stir up a hornet's nest
like tits on a boar
like a humpin' dog

fortunately (un?) all these are in my regular rotation, but in fairness they were stolen from guys older than me at one point or another.

[yogachik]

It's like all your grandfathers grew up in Mayberry.

[obi wan kenobi]

You'd forget your ass if it wasn't hooked on.

That is funny - maybe that old guy had ancestors in Germany? Because that is something old guys say here in Germay say too.

[singlecross]

If it floats, flies, or fucks... rent it.

[oftpiste]

not mine but.....

"Where is my wallet?"

"Right there. 'T'was a bear 't'woulda bitcha".

[dookeyXXX]

It's like all your grandfathers grew up in Mayberry.

Or on Pine Street in Wichita, Kansas....

[riser4]

not mine but.....

"Where is my wallet?"

"Right there. 'T'was a bear 't'woulda bitcha".

If it had teeth, it woulda bit you.

[Shredhead]

It's like all your grandfathers grew up in Mayberry.

Grandpa Ernest.

[SB]

Keep your powder dry

[Core Shot]

My dad in a sing song voice said

“If you get hit with a bag of shit
Be sure to close your eyes”

I’m not sure where that came from

He also loved limericks. But that’s another thread.

[iceman]

My father had a couple in Gaelic (his parents were native speakers) that he never translated, but which were clearly not flattering about us.

[dookeyXXX]

My dad in a sing song voice said

“If you get hit with a bag of shit
Be sure to close your eyes”

I’m not sure where that came from

He also loved limericks. But that’s another thread.

As long as he ain't from Nantucket...

[digitaldeath]

“Did you see my thread on tgr?”


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[hutash]

If I weren't helping to the level my dad thought appropriate..."God, you're as useless as tits on a boar."

If somebody was a bit randy he would say "he's hornier then a three peckered billygoat."

He grew up on a Pennsylvania dairy farm.

[NW_SKIER]

“Did you see my thread on tgr?”


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Ha! Gold

[Meadow Skipper]

Happier than a puppy with two peters.

I say/have said a lot of the things in here. I guess that’s telling.

[TBS]

It's like all your grandfathers grew up in Mayberry.

My dad was born in Tisquitti NC, near Smackass Gap

[glademaster]

It's like all your grandfathers grew up in Mayberry.

Or most of them are full of shit about who they're attributing these cliche witticisms to. If I were a betting man, that's what my money would be on.

[NW_SKIER]

Isn't there some municipal code for you to look up right now?

[old goat]

I like finding out where old sayings originated, especially when they derive from some long vanished technology. I was thinking about "living high off the hog" the other day--the best, most expensive cuts of pork are the highest on the animal. "The cat's out of the bag" refers to the cat o nine tails and the bag it was kept in. Nautical speed measured in knots derives from the knots on the rope used to measure speed. "Keep your powder dry"--that's obvious. These are pretty obvious. there are some real obscure ones I wish I could think of but it's late. Roy Underhill on The Woodright's Shop was always coming up with sayings that derived from woodworking.

There's a whole book of this stuff. https://www.amazon.com/Stories-Behin.../dp/1555210104 I think there's a copy somewhere around the house.