Weirdest self-induced accident?

[TBS]

Never pissed on an electric fence so can’t compare
Didn’t seem to have any lasting damage
Other than the uncontrollable twitching if I’m near hydroelectric dams

[ill-advised strategy]

I had fire run up a stream of gas to the spout of a plastic 5 gal gas can. I kind of kept moving trying to keep it flowing out so it didn’t get into the 2 or 3 gallons of gas inside the can. By the time I got it dealt with I had moved all over my buddy’s back yard and there was a lot of dry grass taking off, so I had to bust my ass keeping it from getting into his house and propane tank and running off into the woods behind his house. It was a real thrash, touch and go for like 5-10 minutes.

Buddy had gone inside to take a dump or grab a beer or whatever and came out to his whole back yard on fire at once.

This was a good friend from childhood and this fiasco more or less killed our friendship.

[JongDoe]

This is more in line with the types of things in the links.
Early 70s and younger brothers friend Pete and I are playing with fire at the opening to his garage with the overhead door open. A gust of wind comes and blows some of the newspaper into the garage. We track them down and stomp it out and I remember a smoldering piece going towards the fridge, but we cannot locate anything and think we got everything.

We get bored and decide to go up to his room to play Strat-o-matic. A short time later we hear a pop and look outside and smoke is coming from the garage area. Everybody is out of the house and the fire department is called and on it's way. After the fire is put out hours later the (volunteer FD) fire marshal is there and we tell him we heard a noise and saw the smoke. They are digging for answers and I am shitting my pants thinking we are busted. His uncle stored fireworks in the rafters of the garage and we tell them that and they think that must be the cause. The house had major damage and his family lived in a motel for months while it was repaired.

I see Pete off and on through the years and nothing is ever said and to me it was still scary that we never got caught and never told anyone. About 7 years ago my brother visits and the old gang gets together for drinks at a local bar and we're all telling stories about crazy shit we did back in the day. I say Pete, remember we burnt your house down? He looks at me like I'm nuts and says what do you mean. I recount the story and he tells me he never realized it was us that set the house on fire. Mind blown. All those years and times we saw each other and every time i saw him I thought about the fire and that was our secret, and then he says he didn't even know.

Playing with fire in the garage and 10 minutes later the garage is on fire and you didn't realize?

[couloirman]

I sneezed while riding my road bike and my hands were so sweaty that when I simultaneously sneezed and hit a little bump I supermanned straight over the handlebars and broke my wrist. That one was embarassing...

[iceman]

Early last October, an amazing lightning-speed chain of events initiated by me being distracted resulted in my stepladder getting knocked over a milisecond before my foot was going to land on the top step which resulted in me falling about 3 feet onto a sharp concrete edge across my whole chest about an inch below the rib cage with all my weight.

The matching hematomas, one on each side, were something to behold for the next 6 weeks or so as they slowly migrated down my abdomen towards and eventually past my beltline. I got pretty seriously fucked up by the whole incident but nothing broke and I'm fine now but it took a while.

I got a million of these stories, this is just the most recent.

[Mazderati]

A group of us hung at a buddy's cabin on high school weekends. Regulation pool table. Satellite television with a big dish out front beaming all the channels. No parents. Plus, buddy was a little older so booze was easy. I dumped a beer in my lap one weekend and was trying to figure out how to dry my pants. Walked in the living room and the kerosene heater is firing. Bingo. Take my pants off and drape them across the cage. Turn it on low because that's the safe thing to do and the pants will dry slowly. Walked back in the pool room and smell smoke a few minutes later. Pants were obviously ablaze. Track shorts in lieu of pants brought some side-eyed looks walking back in my house the next morning.

[iceman]

I tried to warm up a croissant in one of those hotel conveyor-belt toasters at a hotel in Ireland, I walked away while it was in there and it got stuck and caught on fire and nobody was around. When I came back it was en fuego. Croissants burn like a motherfucker, it turns out. They weren't too pleased. I learned some new Gaelic words that day.

[El Chupacabra]

I don't think anything will surpass your lit match head in random guy's ear story.

[iceman]

I'd cut and paste it but I don't even know where to look. Can't really paraphrase that iconic moment.

[skuff]

I don't think anything will surpass your lit match head in random guy's ear story.

^^^ word ^^^

[fatnslow]

Working on some honey do list about 15 years ago that required about 15" higher than my extension ladder would reach SO my bright idea was to flip a few recycle bins over and place my ladder on top of them. As my wife is leaving for a quick run she asked if I needed her to hold the ladder ? Being the neanderthal that I am my response was, " I got it all under control". Fast forward a few minutes the ladder decides to slip out while I'm at the top and manage to put myself through a window. Luckily just a few minor cut and a broken window.
Wife comes back from her run to find the ladder through the window and a trail of blood going into the house. I haven't enjoyed ladder work since then and make sure it's secure before I get one since then.

[skuff]

Several years ago, I was framing a house during the winter. On THE day, it was snowing moderately, with heavy, wet flakes. I was on a ladder, nailing something overhead. As I'm swinging away with my framing hammer, it slips out of my hand, hits the sheathing in front of me and ricochets into my face. The claw hit me below my left eye and left a gash about 1/2". Still have that hammer.

[iceman]

I was hanging insulation in a dormer we had just built when the homeowner's toddler comes in the room. There's saws and nails and shit everywhere. I turn to warn the kid to not touch anything while I swing the staple hammer to hold the batt in place. Stapled my index finger to the wall right through the fingernail. It didn't hurt at all right at first and I turned to go towards the kid, but I didn't get very far. Because I was stapled to the wall.

[PB]

I hate it when that happens.

[Beaver]

Building a coral at the bottom of the Paradise lift at Red Mountain one morning. Using a steel pole pounder, I raised it up a little too high and went to slam it down on the pole, it caught the top of the pole in the way down, deflected and slammed my head. I staggered back to the lift shack leaving a trail of blood in the snow and to phone the lift supervisor to send someone down. About then skiers started arriving, I loaded a few before the ski patrol showed up. The wrapped my head in gauze and helped me out while a relief liftee showed up. Fortunately they shoveled up the bloody snow before skiers spread it all over, it was pretty gruesome looking.

[iceman]

There was one I wrote about on here years ago like 10 minutes after it happened. My daughter had a trundle bed for sleepover guests when she was young. For whatever reason I had to pull it out one day and it wouldn't budge. Tried again, nope. Decided more force was required. So I kneeled down with one foot forward and gave it a real pull. It came flying out and the bottom edge removed my big toenail. There was nothing wrong with the toenail a second before, and then it was gone. It was pretty amazing to look at. Hurt a bit too, after a while.

[Buster Highmen]

21st birthday, flying on a variety of trendy chemical amusements during a "social" at a freaky liberal arts college on the west coast. I'd stashed a bottle of Jack Daniels black label behind some chairs along a wall coverd in rough sawn cedar.

I reached for the bottle and my hand glanced against the wall, picking up a small sliver about 1/4 inch wide. It felt sort of funny so I looked at my hand and all I could see was a black stripe on my finger nail all the way to the base.

More aware people decided to take me to the emergency room where evidently I howled for cocaine local anaesthetic. My requests were not met. The orderly made jokes about ancient Chinese torture. I was not amused.

[Flounder]

Working in the shop. Took a break to get a drink of water. Had my safety glasses on top of my head. Water bottle was getting low so I tipped my head back to get a drink. Felt the glasses start to slip and grabbed for them. Ended up driving the end of the ear piece into my ear canal which caused a nice stream of blood coming out of my ear. ER Doc was impressed I hurt myself trying to be safe.

[riser4]

I tried to warm up a croissant in one of those hotel conveyor-belt toasters at a hotel in Ireland, I walked away while it was in there and it got stuck and caught on fire and nobody was around. When I came back it was en fuego. Croissants burn like a motherfucker, it turns out. They weren't too pleased. I learned some new Gaelic words that day.

Grease. Fire.

[iceman]

Yeah croissants are like half butter. They definitely will burn, I've proven that to my satisfaction. The croissant got stuck all the way inside where the conveyor belt drops stuff. Probably there was also years of crumbs in there all nice and dry and ready to go. It was really torching. That was kind of a moment.

[retirwntm]

Near miss that might have been fatal:

Pissed at my parents age 14-15 or so about something. Hormones raging. You know. So I decided to get on my ATV and haul ass. There was a private driveway about a half mile near us that was surrounded by pines. Dark as hell at night. It was a summer home and no one was there most of the year. I was going about as fast as that ATV would go. Quad racer if anyone remembers those. I came out of the exit of the driveway onto the main road pretty hot. Then all of a sudden I was upside down with the quad on top of me. I was pretty shocked, pretty sore and pretty confused. Turned out the owners had been there and had a chain installed across the entrance. The headlight and handlebars caught the chain and flipped me right over. Another 6” and I would have been full on clothes lined or decapitated. Still not sure how I survived my teen years.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[frorider]

I was about 7 yrs old, living in Hawaii, and there was a big ass version of this glider swing set in the park.



With 4 of us on there we really got that thing cranking. I had the bright idea to stand in the middle between the two Fulcrums of Death. As we got higher, I could feel the entire structure wiggling on the foundation. Lost my balance, my leg ended up nestled near one of the fulcrums, and the next oscillation scissored through my tibia and fibia like a twig in a giant nutcracker.

I suppose we coulda sued somebody.

[riser4]

Yeah croissants are like half butter. They definitely will burn, I've proven that to my satisfaction. The croissant got stuck all the way inside where the conveyor belt drops stuff. Probably there was also years of crumbs in there all nice and dry and ready to go. It was really torching. That was kind of a moment.

I salute you sir. I wish I could have been there to drink a breakfast Guinness. While watching the fire.

[iceman]

I was about 7 yrs old, living in Hawaii, and there was a big ass version of this glider swing set in the park.



With 4 of us on there we really got that thing cranking. I had the bright idea to stand in the middle between the two Fulcrums of Death. As we got higher, I could feel the entire structure wiggling on the foundation. Lost my balance, my leg ended up nestled near one of the fulcrums, and the next oscillation scissored through my tibia and fibia like a twig in a giant nutcracker.

Ouch.

[happytimefunbox]

It is always a high honor to be the reason for a rule, warning, bulletin, etc.

At Harris Semiconductor (now Intercil) in Palm Bay Florida I am the reason that every HEPA hood that hangs below 6'6" (I was 6'4") was liberally padded or has some device mounted to the floor to put them out of the path of travel after I knocked myself out and missed a day of work due to a concussion (TBI protocols were pretty lax in 95) when I took a corner of one to the temple while boogieing to get somewhere quick.

Another time at the same place I'm the FNG technician in diffusion.
I have to do a acid clean on a high temp silicon carbide tube from a high temp process.
The OG guy that trained me never shows me the special cart over there in the corner that some dumb engineer made to roll the diffusion tube to the acid sink (I got a story on the acid sink too).
Plus I was a natural at carrying them because I had spent a lot of time with a surfboard under my arm, I looked comfortable and the trainer never bitched
Im rounding a corner with this 10 inch by 8 foot long tube under my arm and hear a little "Ting!" behind me. I put the tube in the sink and see that I nicked the injector at the business end of the tube.
I got this I think as I load the tube into a golfcart and tote it over to our glass shop.
The look on my face when the glass shop guy tells me not only can they not repair silicon carbide like they can Quartz, but this thing is scrap and cost close to $60K, said it all.
If anyone ever got caught toting a diffusion tube after that without it in the special cart they would face instant termination!

I was working maintenance at a different semiconductor plant in Orlando on the overnight shift when we had a power bump about 4AM
No big deal I dont frown I pass down the recovery of my equipment cause my shift ends at 5 and the end of my work week.
That evening on the news I here about the facilities maintenance guy that got arc'ed in our transformer substation.
I guess the relative humidity was 100% and there was ground fog and he walked close enough to have a couple 100KV snap through him to ground.
Next week when I returned to work we had a safety standdown on the issue.
Not very honorable to have a two step process created to gain entry to the substation with a weather check and management sign off created after your are vaporized...

Good god the stories I have from that industry a endless and frightening.....