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  1. #1401
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    Oct 2004
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    Quote Originally Posted by muted View Post
    Absolutely works for the 6 year old, yes, no matter the mess she makes its worth it. The 3 year old is completely inept though, she doesn't pull her weight around the house, WTF.
    ^How about paying the six YO to babysit the 3YO for say an hour or two? Feed her peanut butter, keep her entertained?
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  2. #1402
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    Jan 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by iceman View Post
    Shit give the kid a jar of peanut butter, a loaf of bread and a very sharp, very large knife and tell him (or her, of course) to have at it. What's the worst that could happen?

    parenting tips from iceman
    FIFY

  3. #1403
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    Feb 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by Name Redacted View Post
    You hit up any Eagle county restaurants or breweries yet?
    Every day. Should I wear a pin with my antiviral test results and confidence intervals?

  4. #1404
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    Aug 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by TBS View Post
    ^How about paying the six YO to babysit the 3YO for say an hour or two? Feed her peanut butter, keep her entertained?
    Why, it’s just that simple?! Bless your heart, thank you!

    Kidding...

  5. #1405
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    Feb 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by iceman View Post
    Shit give the kid a jar of peanut butter, a loaf of bread and a plastic knife and tell him (or her, of course) to have at it. What's the worst that could happen?

    parenting tips from iceman
    dog blowjob?

  6. #1406
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    Mar 2005
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    Dystopia
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    “Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.”
    Hunter S. Thompson

  7. #1407
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    Jun 2007
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    Essential workers

  8. #1408
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    Aug 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by muted View Post
    Why, it’s just that simple?! Bless your heart, thank you!

    Kidding...
    To be more articulate, you guys are giving me dad advice based on logic. I live in a 3+6 year olds world were nothing is logical, my daily life with them is a string of absurd events, and they are agents of chaos where a simple sandwich is not a simple sandwich. Now add a dog who eats all their food if they look away for a second, bolts out the door to bite the mailman (when the kids open the front door when they know they shouldn't) and this same dog occasionally munches down on a dirty diaper if given the opportunity, all while i just neeed ONE FUCKING MINUTE to concentrate. I don't need advice on kids, I need advice on how to go with the flow and accept this absurd life.

    Gotta go, there is a poop in the bathtub to clean up.

  9. #1409
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    Sep 2001
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    Well you can always turn on some video for them, that usually worked for me when I was in that boat.

  10. #1410
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    Sep 2005
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    PRB
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    Quote Originally Posted by muted View Post
    I don't need advice on kids, I need advice on how to go with the flow and accept this absurd life.
    "fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
    "She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin
    "I'd eat a bag of Dicks and wash it down with a Coke any day." - iceman

  11. #1411
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    Aug 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by iceman View Post
    Well you can always turn on some video for them, that usually worked for me when I was in that boat.
    'usually' is a key word here.

    Quote Originally Posted by Danno View Post
    Absolutely.

  12. #1412
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    Oct 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by muted View Post
    To be more articulate, you guys are giving me dad advice based on logic. I live in a 3+6 year olds world were nothing is logical, my daily life with them is a string of absurd events, and they are agents of chaos where a simple sandwich is not a simple sandwich. Now add a dog who eats all their food if they look away for a second, bolts out the door to bite the mailman (when the kids open the front door when they know they shouldn't) and this same dog occasionally munches down on a dirty diaper if given the opportunity, all while i just neeed ONE FUCKING MINUTE to concentrate. I don't need advice on kids, I need advice on how to go with the flow and accept this absurd life.

    Gotta go, there is a poop in the bathtub to clean up.
    Was that poop announced with extensive screaming? Because the screaming really wears me down.

    Mine have turned 3 and 5 during the lockdown.

    Drinking seems to only make me fat and has not stopped the endless screaming.

    Sent from my Pixel 3a using Tapatalk

  13. #1413
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    Nov 2006
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    Seattle
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    Thank you for the reminder of how grateful I am to be through those years. I used to say the 3 Things were like the bear cubs at the zoo. Horsing around, wrestling in a rolling ball of energy x 3 that destroyed everything in its path. There was screaming too. I will tell you it gets better, and in spite of the fact that it feels like it will never end, it will, and you'll wonder where the time went!
    Quote Originally Posted by Foggy_Goggles View Post
    If I lived in WA, Oft would be my realtor. Seriously.

  14. #1414
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    Oct 2004
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    ^^^Amen. Been through it as well. I raised girls, was raised in family of boys, not sure which is worse.

    And muted, I paid the 6YO to take care of the 2YO. It works for about an hour, then comes the meltdown. But if you only need 30 minutes...
    The dog seems to be its own problem. Kennel?
    Vibes though. Parenting young ones by yourself can be draining
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  15. #1415
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    Sep 2001
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    When ours were teensy, we did a lot of long distance trips, like 1000 miles each way 2-3 times a year.

    We eventually stocked up on earplugs for the drive, not from their fighting, but from their laughing and screaming joy.

    They're teenagers now, so it's more like volleys of disdainful reproofs going back and forth in an approximation of civilized behavior.

    So I recommend earplugs with a background veil of AC/DC, Led Zep, Stones or the Who. But then the problem is like when it's too quiet and you know you'd better go check on them. So set a timer.
    Merde De Glace On the Freak When Ski
    >>>200 cm Black Bamboo Sidewalled DPS Lotus 120 : Best Skis Ever <<<

  16. #1416
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    Man, I found evidence of poop atop the toilet lid the other day. Carefully cleaned (with TP only) by the 3yo and matter-of-factly explained as "totally handled".

    WTF happened, kid? Didn't quite make it in time? Forgot the lid?

    muted... you got a trampoline? I zip my kid into the enclosure and get a few minutes to work.
    life ain't guaranteed, love your people while you can

  17. #1417
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sirshredalot View Post
    Was that poop announced with extensive screaming? Because the screaming really wears me down.

    Mine have turned 3 and 5 during the lockdown.

    Drinking seems to only make me fat and has not stopped the endless screaming.

    Sent from my Pixel 3a using Tapatalk
    Yes, the screaming and whining is really what kills me too. Add screaming + hangover = hell

    Norse, all tramps are sold out around here last I looked, I would love a smaller one we can wheel away. Don't want a big year-round one.

    We have tons of things of them to do in the backyard though. I know what to do to get a minute break guys. I'm not totally useless I just need to bend in the breeze more. I don't know how this thread turned into all about me whining, I'll shut up now.

  18. #1418
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    Dec 2012
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    I smell poutine!!!
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    10,871
    Teenage boys beating the motherloving shit out of each other is such an unspeakable joy. 17yo has height weight advantage for now. 15yo has more muscle and is more athletic.

  19. #1419
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    Lol

    Well it is the complaint thread. I see these little points as lighthearted distraction from the real shit of it. I'm glad to be with my kids this much even if it is hard to work.
    life ain't guaranteed, love your people while you can

  20. #1420
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    Jun 2007
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    Cruzing
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    Quote Originally Posted by muted View Post
    To be more articulate, you guys are giving me dad advice based on logic. I live in a 3+6 year olds world were nothing is logical, my daily life with them is a string of absurd events, and they are agents of chaos where a simple sandwich is not a simple sandwich. Now add a dog who eats all their food if they look away for a second, bolts out the door to bite the mailman (when the kids open the front door when they know they shouldn't) and this same dog occasionally munches down on a dirty diaper if given the opportunity, all while i just neeed ONE FUCKING MINUTE to concentrate. I don't need advice on kids, I need advice on how to go with the flow and accept this absurd life.

    Gotta go, there is a poop in the bathtub to clean up.
    A six year old does not know shouldn’t. A 3 year old opening the front door is a prodigy. Or maybe you don’t have a proper deadbolt. Beat of luck with that bathtub.

  21. #1421
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    Jun 2007
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    Cruzing
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sirshredalot View Post
    Was that poop announced with extensive screaming? Because the screaming really wears me down.

    Mine have turned 3 and 5 during the lockdown.

    Drinking seems to only make me fat and has not stopped the endless screaming.

    Sent from my Pixel 3a using Tapatalk
    A screaming 9 year old has bigger lungs. Buy ear plugs.

  22. #1422
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    Dec 2016
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    In a van... down by the river
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    Quote Originally Posted by muted View Post
    <snip> I need advice on how to go with the flow and accept this absurd life.
    My advice would be to have another kid.


  23. #1423
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    Aug 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by Norseman View Post
    Lol

    Well it is the complaint thread. I see these little points as lighthearted distraction from the real shit of it. I'm glad to be with my kids this much even if it is hard to work.
    Parenting is a million times easier when all you have to do is parent. When that happens and you can focus, yes, it's hard work but awesome. my 3 year old is fucking hilarious, the 6 year old is pretty damn funny too. thankfully.

  24. #1424
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    Nov 2006
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    Seattle
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    That was a trying time too. They can be downright cruel. Just remember, before you'll know it they'll be rolling by for drinks, beers and smoked ribs (like tonight) and clearly loving each other regardless of occasional disagreements and eye rolling. And two of them live together. I'm kind of amazed that works as well as it does, but hey.....!


    Quote Originally Posted by riser3 View Post
    Teenage boys beating the motherloving shit out of each other is such an unspeakable joy. 17yo has height weight advantage for now. 15yo has more muscle and is more athletic.
    Quote Originally Posted by Foggy_Goggles View Post
    If I lived in WA, Oft would be my realtor. Seriously.

  25. #1425
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    Quote Originally Posted by muted View Post
    Parenting is a million times easier when all you have to do is parent. When that happens and you can focus, yes, it's hard work but awesome.
    We agree man, I ain't knockin. It's fuckin hard to get real work done with tots about. Just raising them is easy cheese in comparison
    life ain't guaranteed, love your people while you can

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