Small Biz Support 2020

[SuperGaper]

I was able to get through all of my personal clients and friends before funding ran out. We also got anyone who applied before last Thursday through the system. Cold comfort though for the businesses we couldn’t get to in time. I called roughly 50 people today to tell them to call their senator and turn the spigot on again. Getting cursed out isn’t exactly fun when everyone busted their asses to get as many approved as possible, but I get their frustration. Just probably need another 48-72 hours and we can have all of our applications approved and funded. We didn’t do anywhere near the volume Fritz had, but our average loan size was just about $60k so I think we are fishing in different ponds.

Thanks so much for all you have done, you too Mustonen and Fritz- I absolutely understand how unprecedented this is, and the pipeline was a garden hose, and had to absorb a beach ball. With no rule book to boot.

[BobMc]

You suck at the maths

Any real advice o grand master douche nozzle?

I’ve re-read this thread several times lately, realized I made some mistakes going through this process. I feel empathy for all the business owners struggling to make decisions to do right by both their business and their employees.

You have stood out as a person completely unconcerned with the well being of your employees to the benefit of your bottom line. We’re in a fucking pandemic and your concern throughout this has been whether your employees will be paid too much by the government, all the while fretting whether you will be paid by the government.

My math advice for you is to lick the doorknob of your establishment.

Sorry to the rest of the folks commiserating, but I had to say it. Stay safe everyone.

[Mustonen]

Thanks so much for all you have done, you too Mustonen and Fritz- I absolutely understand how unprecedented this is, and the pipeline was a garden hose, and had to absorb a beach ball. With no rule book to boot.

Thanks, but I didn’t do anything laudable. I’m not a commercial lender and am only involved to facilitate and support, which has mostly meant staying out of the way.

In general, weird and busy times, though.

[Duffman]

Fuck PNC bank up the ass. Had my app in when they first went live 4/4. Made it through bank review no problem, but got stuck at "Submitting to SBA" on their little bullshit status tracker for DAYS. Called to try and find out what if anything was the hangup multiple times, now money out and never got an SBA number or any other communication so I have to assume they never put it throug ETran and Im fucked.

[Mazderati]

Reading through this thread reminds me of trying to navigate the US healthcare system and how every Joe Blow trying to get his finger sewn back on is expected to be an insurance and hospital administration claims expert.

[::: :::]

That's weird... did they say to wait? Friend in NYC arch firm with 45 employees applied through Chase and was funded today. I just found out I was approved today, too, but still awaiting funding.

I'm with a small regional bank and I am pretty sure they put in some serious effort to get these done. They said I just made it and I had my application submitted within 10 minutes of their site being opened. I'm feeling very lucky, but bummed for those who did not get anything yet. They definitely need to do another round...

Billable hours tanked during the second week of March.
We were ready with all our PPP materials since the beginning on fri 4/3. But the bank kept telling us they weren’t processing multi-owner businesses yet. We got an email Mon evening saying the app was ready to do multi-owner and filed first thing the next morning.

We are a two person business, a fucking “multi-owner” one at that.

I can’t tell if it’s just the way shit rolls or if we got cheated or what...it sure doesn’t feel all that good.

On the plus side, I’ve actually managed to find some billable work this week...

[papapoopski]

I fear that fastfred may be right. I was optimistic but that is fading.

My PPP app is sitting in nowhere land. MY EIDL app is inside of a black hole somewhere.

Here is a list of companies we'll be working for when the smoke clears - https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefings...dustry-groups/

[Core Shot]

I’ve re-read this thread several times lately, realized I made some mistakes going through this process. I feel empathy for all the business owners struggling to make decisions to do right by both their business and their employees.

You have stood out as a person completely unconcerned with the well being of your employees to the benefit of your bottom line. We’re in a fucking pandemic and your concern throughout this has been whether your employees will be paid too much by the government, all the while fretting whether you will be paid by the government.

My math advice for you is to lick the doorknob of your establishment.

Sorry to the rest of the folks commiserating, but I had to say it. Stay safe everyone.

I have no beef with you. Just attacking when attacked.

This whole forgiveness plan isn’t as easy as it seems.

There was a mad rush to sign up before the money ran out.
Boom! Now you have eight weeks to jump through hoops to get forgiveness.
The easiest way is to rehire all your people. I would love to do that except that my lower paid employees will make more on unemployment until July 31 when the $600 bonus runs out.

I actually do care about them, which is why I don’t want to put them on payroll if I have no work.
That’s the pickle.

I’m sure there are some that don’t know about the FTE requirement. Most articles only discuss spending 75% of the loan on payroll. I only found out about that a few days ago. And there are calculations and decisions to be made. Once you’re funded the fuse is lit and you have eight weeks to enact the plan that’s best for your employees and for you.

The rising tide brewery owner is fucked. She was funded a week or more ago. If she didn’t rehire all her staff, she will not make the FTE and will suffer.
OTOH the busboy at her Brewpub is clearly raking it in on unemployment and does not want to be on payroll.

[Bunion 2020]

She will not "suffer". She has 200K with a 6 month deferral at 1%.

[fastfred]

HA HA HA, anyone who thought this was going to work out was kidding themselves I'm not surprised the least bit
for those of you who got some money, your lucky I'm happy it worked out for you
remember the gov't hates small business it hates you these fuck up politicians can't vote for more money to save their lives but heck their paychecks are good and so is their health insurance
what do they care, if they cared they would have approved the money and kept the ball rolling days ago

I would love a nice check from the gov't it would be like a comforting hug, but I learned a long time ago nothing is free and nothing is easy
never intended to go into business for myself, it was a fluke thing, you start out a some dipshit carpenter, moving around
then your a subcontractor running your own crew
then you realize over half the people playing contractor are complete idiots and don't have a clue you think you can do better than that
next thing you know you took that next step up, one day typing at the computer for hours on end you wonder what happened, you were swinging a hammer bullshitting with the best of them
now your sitting at a computer looking spreadsheets, paper work gets shuffled around for hours, instead of numbers on a tape measure its dollars and contracts lawyers and accounting
I thought I worked hard when I was framing but now I find myself drained mentally and physically, talking to people, focusing so tightly it's blinding, a 50 hr work week is nothing
the risks are huge now
I wonder what went wrong what went right the past four months have taken a toll on me mentally and physically
got kicked in the nuts over and over so hard lately I don't know what makes sense anymore waking up and pretending your winning sucks right now
Between December and March I was in a hospital or doctors office at least once or twice a week. I've recovered physically like a champ, they don't know what to do with me since I decided it was ok to start skiing and biking 3 months after having life changing operations
So here I am beat down and then this bullshit flu comes along, I have an a plus crew that needs little supervision I can line out and not worry about much, I'm so lucky
Fred is a character I made up, I spent many many long years in acting classes in dark theaters creating people, fred gets high, I don't get high, fred is an idiot, I applied to columbia and nyu for grad school
it was all before I said fuck it and moved to a ski town to be a classic ski bum and I succeeded for so many years at that my 20s are a lifestyle I envy to this day
I need a minimum income 50k a month to keep my head above water and keep the business moving, I never imagined dealing with that kind of money, you can't be high and do that shit
keep looking for a new carrier a new place to live a new place to go but I don't know what that is, being at home in your pjs at 10am and calling that work is nice
thanks for listening

[muted]

Fred is a character I made up, I spent many many long years in acting classes in dark theaters creating people, fred gets high, I don't get high, fred is an idiot, I applied to columbia and nyu for grad school

Well played. /golfclap

[4matic]

Gig workers getting UI is another indirect bailout of wall street. It encourages anti labor deflationary technology. The companies need to pay a lump sum tax into the insurance programs and not per worker.

[AdironRider]

SG, did you end up trying at all at BOJH? They were the ones who made it happen for me.

[skiballs]

^I like fastfred, don't let him die, he reminds me of me.

[JohnnyTyndall]

Frustration is totally justified, but before you get pissed at the brewery lady, get pissed that this loan was available to any business with less than 500 employees, amended to per location, so you're competing with TGI Fridays for this money.

Ruth's Chris got $20 million, and they're just one of the first to report. Lot more boondoggles coming.

[BigDaddy]

Billable hours tanked during the second week of March.
We were ready with all our PPP materials since the beginning on fri 4/3. But the bank kept telling us they weren’t processing multi-owner businesses yet. We got an email Mon evening saying the app was ready to do multi-owner and filed first thing the next morning.

We are a two person business, a fucking “multi-owner” one at that.

I can’t tell if it’s just the way shit rolls or if we got cheated or what...it sure doesn’t feel all that good.

On the plus side, I’ve actually managed to find some billable work this week...

Bummer... my friend's firm is multi-owner, too. This whole process feels like it was a lot of luck, very subjective, open to interpretation and easily rigged (or at least lots of potential to play favorites). To apply to my bank, you had to have an established relationship (business account) and they stopped taking applications after the first 90 minutes. (They got 400 apps.) I think I was lucky that they really worked hard at getting these through and that I know everyone there. (The fact that they love my dog probably helped, too.)

Your bank should put you in first once they reopen. Make sure to call them and bitch.



And Fred is a farce?! I loved the idiot rebel. Sort of...

[Skidog]

if they sent a roll of toilet paper that would at least be a plus....

So weird our local buffalo wild wings gave away a roll with ever order. Guess they know their own food

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[::: :::]

Bummer... my friend's firm is multi-owner, too. This whole process feels like it was a lot of luck, very subjective, open to interpretation and easily rigged (or at least lots of potential to play favorites). To apply to my bank, you had to have an established relationship (business account) and they stopped taking applications after the first 90 minutes. (They got 400 apps.) I think I was lucky that they really worked hard at getting these through and that I know everyone there. (The fact that they love my dog probably helped, too.)

Your bank should put you in first once they reopen. Make sure to call them and bitch.



And Fred is a farce?! I loved the idiot rebel. Sort of...

we have been pretty close with the bank staff & have had a 20+ yr relationship with them both between personal/business, but we're not hudge so maybe just a number to them...

we did get the (non-Trump signed) direct deposit IRS cash on the 15th...
still no EIDL despite doing that form back on 3/31

[Skidog]

Ruth's Chris got $20 million, and they're just one of the first to report. Lot more boondoggles coming.

This is the most ridiculous thing I've read in this thread. Ruth's Chris? Fuck that overpriced place.

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[Bunion 2020]

P3 deposited in my account today.

I will still e-mail my representatives and urge them to fund the next round.

Good luck to those who need help.

[SuperGaper]

SG, did you end up trying at all at BOJH? They were the ones who made it happen for me.

I was trying there as well, but was several days behind in applying because of the Wells asset cap thing, both wife and I missed the boat.

I have been getting call and emails about work, which is nice, I have clients who want us to start working again beginning of May- tough call
because we work in a people's houses, very very large houses, but still not sure I feel that great about this.
Both contractors and moving companies who are adjacent to what we do, are working.

Will see what the town/county/state says.

I have reserves to go 2 more pay periods and still have adequate cash on hand. Typical monthly gross for the business is 70 to 90k, March was
38k, and April will be 9k. Really just lucky that I was not adding warehouse space or vehicles, so cash was pretty fat at the start with zero leverage. Money is going to start going faster now.

Its worse for my wife, she is in the wedding industry- and all her weddings are cancelling or postponing- we used to think weddings were recession proof, that was of course pre- COVID.

[Core Shot]

I challenge any of you lawyer dentists to explain 1106(d)(5)(B) of the CARES Act

The requirement that you keep the same employee number for the 8 weeks does not apply as long as you have the same employee number by June 30.

Confusion results:
a) apparently they care not if you hire everyone back on June 29 and fire them all again on July 1
b) how can you meet the other requirement that 75% of the loan proceeds have to be paid out as payroll in the 8 week period after funding?

Unless . . . I pay the 75% payroll to myself while they collect the unemployment . . . moo ha ha ha #evil_boss

[GoldMember]

^^Edit: I originally wrote what's below but, I take that back. Anyway, whatever. The idea is as stated below from SBA.

You'd get snagged on the $100k/year annualized limit. You would only get 1 day pay at approximately $48.08 x 8. Then you would only be able to recover about $128 in other expenses. Per the SBA manager I spoke with, following is the intent and what they'll audit to:

Forgiveness is based on the employer maintaining or quickly rehiring employees and maintaining salary levels. Forgiveness will be reduced if full-time headcount declines, or if salaries and wages decrease.

He went on to state:

As far as hours and working, the idea of the loan is for you to maintain your payroll at normal levels and basically keep people employed and off unemployment. What you have them do with their time is up to you.

[Flyoverland Captive]

So can we hire a couple extra people temporarily? Seems like free money to have the owner’s kids come do cleanup projects, filing, etc.

[muted]

So can we hire a couple extra people temporarily? Seems like free money to have the owner’s kids come do cleanup projects, filing, etc.

Cook you meals, do your laundry, get you drinks....