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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by ill-advised strategy View Post
    So I think this is my point:
    When it’s about buying somebody time to get over some acute lack of clarity, there’s “help” for that.
    There’s lots of suicide that’s not really about an acute lack of clarity, and actually it’s more like an overabundance of clarity. “Help” doesn’t really make a person unsee their position in the world, and when you can see 5 moves ahead and it’s checkmate, a lot of people don’t want to play it all out move by move.
    Personally I'm okay with people making that decision if they get nothing but pain and anguish out of life. None of us asked to be born. Nobody is obligated to see it through to its "natural" conclusion IMO. I've had enough darkness in my mind to understand the appeal of ending all your problems in an instant.

    That said, vibes FC about your friend. It is sad for those left behind. I have a good friend on suicide watch, been like that for a year. I have regularly reached out every few weeks, and seeing this thread prompted me to do so again. He is slow about replying but he always does eventually. Lost his business and his longtime girlfriend all at once and just broke down with anxiety and depression. Cono's post reminded me of what my friend told me about how he simply lost control of his mind in a way he never imagined possible. Scary shit. He seems to be doing better now, losing 30 pds and getting back into rock climbing and working as a cabinet maker. But if sad news comes it won't surprise me. I wish I could do more for him but at a certain point we are all on our own to decide our fate. I just try to let him know I am there for him and I care.

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by ill-advised strategy View Post
    So I think this is my point:
    When it’s about buying somebody time to get over some acute lack of clarity, there’s “help” for that.
    There’s lots of suicide that’s not really about an acute lack of clarity, and actually it’s more like an overabundance of clarity. “Help” doesn’t really make a person unsee their position in the world, and when you can see 5 moves ahead and it’s checkmate, a lot of people don’t want to play it all out move by move.
    But maybe that gives someone closer with a hint of insight just that right amount of time to reach out?

    It's not about curing the disease, it's about stopping the bleeding.

    Also, most people in life are shitty chess players. They only see the moves their brain can think of.

  3. #53
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    I have a couple of mates who reach out randomly and "check up" on me. It means the world as it forces me to answer the question of "How are you doing?" And I don't want to tell them when I'm in the gutter so I find positive things to say and it helps me reassess the situation.

    So keep on reaching out.

  4. #54
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    This is bizarre, but right after I posted about my depressed buddy I checked my email and he had replied in a way I totally did not expect. He's moved into his own apartment (had been crashing at a friend's), he's getting back together with his girl, work is going well enough, and he sounded happier and waaay more upbeat than he has in a long time. It is truly amazing to me considering the dark hole he was in last spring when he actually checked himself into an emergency mental health clinic because he was suicidal. FKNA, I cannot even say how happy and relieved I am for him. I honestly did not know if he was going to be able to turn it around but he did. Said he's been fishing a lot and sent me this happy pic.
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    Last edited by yeahman; 03-20-2020 at 11:21 AM.

  5. #55
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    Nice. Time does matter.

  6. #56
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    That’s great, Yeahman.
    Forum Cross Pollinator, gratuitously strident

  7. #57
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    Life is tough. Those for whom most or all has gone well don’t get it. Just like all those wealthy guys who cant figure out why everyone isn’t rich - “its so easy”.

    We all just need to exercise compassion, both for others but also for ourselves.



    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    Quote Originally Posted by Benny Profane View Post
    Keystone is fucking lame. But, deadly.

  8. #58
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    This thread is a hard one to read for lots of reason.

    Hey yeahman, just a thought but maybe your buddy might not want his face out there with the backstory. I could be completely wrong but lots of montana mags and it's a small world. Hope everyone finds their way through this crazy thing we call life.

  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Woodsy View Post
    Sorry for your loss.
    We have lost a few mags over the years as well to this disease. Mental health aint nothin to fuck with.


    RIP ACE
    and demowoman
    vibes I miss my friends who I think knew the help was there but may have been to stuburnly strong to ask
    "When the child was a child it waited patiently for the first snow and it still does"- Van "The Man" Morrison
    "I find I have already had my reward, in the doing of the thing" - Buzz Holmstrom
    "THIS IS WHAT WE DO"-AML -ski on in eternal peace
    "I have posted in here but haven't read it carefully with my trusty PoliAsshat antenna on."-DipshitDanno

  10. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by yeahman View Post
    This is bizarre, but right after I posted about my depressed buddy I checked my email and he had replied in a way I totally did not expect. He's moved into his own apartment (had been crashing at a friend's), he's getting back together with his girl, work is going well enough, and he sounded happier and waaay more upbeat than he has in a long time. It is truly amazing to me considering the dark hole he was in last spring when he actually checked himself into an emergency mental health clinic because he was suicidal. FKNA, I cannot even say how happy and relieved I am for him. I honestly did not know if he was going to be able to turn it around but he did. Said he's been fishing a lot and sent me this happy pic.
    addictionsmatter in both negative and positive mental health
    im bummed aint gonna be no project healing waters nor wounded warrior outings this summer
    our va fly tying and casting nights are done
    my woofer recerts cancelled
    its tough times for a lot of peeps and the ability to share a passion that's shaped and givin me hopes and purpose in my life is somethin that I enjoyed
    im going to increase my social distancing and mental health and git the float and be happy on
    Last edited by skifishbum; 03-20-2020 at 12:15 PM.
    "When the child was a child it waited patiently for the first snow and it still does"- Van "The Man" Morrison
    "I find I have already had my reward, in the doing of the thing" - Buzz Holmstrom
    "THIS IS WHAT WE DO"-AML -ski on in eternal peace
    "I have posted in here but haven't read it carefully with my trusty PoliAsshat antenna on."-DipshitDanno

  11. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by lifelinksplit View Post
    This thread is a hard one to read for lots of reason.

    Hey yeahman, just a thought but maybe your buddy might not want his face out there with the backstory. I could be completely wrong but lots of montana mags and it's a small world. Hope everyone finds their way through this crazy thing we call life.
    Thanks. I thought about that. He left Montana last spring and probably won't return to live here (pic is not in MT). I honestly don't think he would care, but I will take it down anyway. SFB pm incoming.

  12. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by ill-advised strategy View Post
    So anyway, whatever. As long as our society mainly values human life and things like comfort and health and happiness only as commodities, only as they relate to competitions over capital and competitions over economics as opposed to valuing life and the things that make life worth living in a more holistic and qualitative way, we’re going to have people who cannot win those competitions and cannot tolerate the excruciation of being on the losing end.
    We treat depression and anxiety as if they are bugs in the modern condition. But it's not a bug, it's a feature.

    Darkly beautiful stuff as always.

  13. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by yeahman View Post
    Thanks. I thought about that. He left Montana last spring and probably won't return to live here (pic is not in MT). I honestly don't think he would care, but I will take it down anyway. SFB pm incoming.
    Dont take it down cause of me. I personally took it as a positive message and great pic. Just didnt know the situation.

  14. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by lifelinksplit View Post
    Dont take it down cause of me. I personally took it as a positive message and great pic. Just didnt know the situation.
    I kind of posted it without thinking because I was psyched to get his email, but it's best to remove it. You're right, it's never a good idea to post a pic of somebody's face without their knowledge, whether or not they might care is kind of irrelevant.

    In any case I know one thing that really helped him get through the darkest times was counseling. Once he finally broke down and surrendered to the fact that he needed help, counseling allowed him to unload all the shit he had been keeping inside and in his case that was an important first step toward normalcy. But it took a complete nervous breakdown for him to get there.

  15. #65
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    This is my go-to when I'm thinking about the people I've lost. It's heartfelt. I'm not posting it to be flip or funny. I see it as a salute, given who wrote it and his life experience.
    I see hydraulic turtles.

  16. #66
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    ^^^ Yep, I’ve always thought of that song as a tribute. Good stuff.

  17. #67
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    That song sucks.

    It was edgy the first few times.
    Now it makes me want to suicide.
    . . .

  18. #68
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    I can take it down.

  19. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by riser3 View Post
    I can take it down.
    Nah it’s fine.

    First few times I heard it, I liked it. Having lost a few good friends.

    I’ve been depressive for decades. Felt like not living or being dead many many times, but never been an active checkout. I just suffer day after day

    Weird thing about depression is it takes a lot of effort to check out.
    . . .

  20. #70
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    Sorry to hear FC. I have been grappling with a similar tragic loss since last May. I really wish I felt the need and had something valuable to add to the conversation around this but when I try to put my thoughts together into something coherent and maybe valuable my brain just freezes. So hard.

  21. #71
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    I lost a brother, a brother in law, and my best friend to depression/suicide. It' been eleven years since the last time it happened. I still think of those guys every day. I try to remember the best times we had together and hope they have the peace they couldn't find while living. It gets easier, but it takes awhile.

  22. #72
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    I lost a good friend just a few weeks ago. All I could think to do was offer him advil which he wouldn't take because he didn't want to take any drugs. All I could do is print up a bunch of suicide prevention stickers and put his memorial wristband on my wall of shame with all the others.

    Fucked up. But, I have life, Eric doesn't.

  23. #73
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    I lost a good friend just a few weeks ago. All I could think to do was offer him advil which he wouldn't take because he didn't want to take any drugs. All I could do is print up a bunch of suicide prevention stickers and put his memorial wristband on my wall of shame with all the others.

    Fucked up. But, I have life, Eric doesn't. I have way too many dead people in my phone. I just can't bring myself to delete them.

  24. #74
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    Anyone know about micro dosing?

    Been decades since I left my skull. No desire to go out again.

    But what about these low dose studies?
    I can’t handle big pharma meds.

  25. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by Core Shot View Post
    Anyone know about micro dosing?

    Been decades since I left my skull. No desire to go out again.

    But what about these low dose studies?
    I can’t handle big pharma meds.
    I’ve heard it’s very helpful for a lot of people. Both mushrooms and cannibis. And certainly better than drinking to numb yourself.
    I ski 135 degree chutes switch to the road.

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