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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Central OR
    Posts
    5,963

    Depression kills

    Fuck. A good friend of ours for over 25 years took her life yesterday; despite our friendship, we had no idea she suffered from depression.

    Goddammit I am pissed. If you or a loved one suffers, GET HELP. It doesn’t have to end like this.

    Fuck.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Lapping the pow with the GSA in the PNW
    Posts
    5,163
    Sorry for your loss. I have close family who deal with depression. We need to get past the stigma so people will be willing to get help/treatment. It’s an illness of the mind and it requires treatment. Again, so sorry.
    In constant pursuit of the perfect slarve...

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Where the sheets have no stains
    Posts
    22,072
    Buddy I moved west with and lived with off and on for 5 years.

    After I was left Park City I went back to visit and to his wedding, seemed like one of the happiest days of his life.

    Maybe 6 years later he hung himself. People said it was depression and he had struggled with it for years.

    I had no idea.

    My Middle sister deals with it. We have an agreement, she can call me anytime to talk, night/day doesn't matter. I still worry.

    Vibes man.
    I have been in this State for 30 years and I am willing to admit that I am part of the problem.

    "Happiest years of my life were earning < $8.00 and hour, collecting unemployment every spring and fall, no car, no debt and no responsibilities. 1984-1990 Park City UT"

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    50 miles E of Paradise
    Posts
    15,571
    Saddened by your loss F
    Been there, Dealt with the aftermath myself.
    It’s hard, I spent 15 years second guessing what more i could have done. Finally accepted that I couldn’t control his life
    Miss ya Steve. Happy Bday on Friday

    Be good to yourself mang

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Central OR
    Posts
    5,963
    Thanks guys; I just needed to vent.

    I have a good friend on call-me-anytime suicide standby; he says I’ve saved his life at least twice. Scary being near the edge, but I’ll do anything for a friend. It just saddens me that I couldn’t help in this case. And now I’ll never get to talk to her again. FUCK these are shitty times.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    ECO
    Posts
    5,805
    Like Em sang:
    I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed,
    Get along with the voices inside of my head.


    And it has probably saved my bacon so far. Only took about 40 years to get there though.
    Don't give up. There is a way out.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    Babylon
    Posts
    13,454
    Sorry for your loss.
    We have lost a few mags over the years as well to this disease. Mental health aint nothin to fuck with.


    RIP ACE

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    EWA
    Posts
    22,006
    I know there are no words that can make this better but please know I'm deeply sorry for your loss.
    When you see something that is not right, not just, not fair, you have a moral obligation to say something. To do something." Rep. John Lewis


    Kindness is a bridge between all people

    Dunkin’ Donuts Worker Dances With Customer Who Has Autism

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    In a parallel universe
    Posts
    4,755
    Condolences man, very sorry for your loss.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Driving2VT
    Posts
    4,583

    Depression kills

    Quote Originally Posted by Flyoverland Captive View Post
    Thanks guys; I just needed to vent.

    I have a good friend on call-me-anytime suicide standby; he says I’ve saved his life at least twice. Scary being near the edge, but I’ll do anything for a friend. It just saddens me that I couldn’t help in this case. And now I’ll never get to talk to her again. FUCK these are shitty times.
    So sorry to hear. Had a close colleague take their own life and I had no idea / hint of their suffering. Was totally caught off guard and had always assumed mental health disorders were more detectable in those that suffer from them. Complex to say the least.
    Last edited by Doremite; 03-18-2020 at 08:20 PM.
    Uno mas

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    at work
    Posts
    1,398
    Quote Originally Posted by Flyoverland Captive View Post
    Thanks guys; I just needed to vent.

    I have a good friend on call-me-anytime suicide standby; he says I’ve saved his life at least twice. Scary being near the edge, but I’ll do anything for a friend. It just saddens me that I couldn’t help in this case. And now I’ll never get to talk to her again. FUCK these are shitty times.
    Sorry Compadre’
    Prayers for you and A
    Tough couple weeks for you guys
    I’m a phone call away if you need to chat
    "Not all who wander are lost"

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Central OR
    Posts
    5,963
    Thanks Swede, and the rest of you mags.

    Back in the late 90’s, she left me a couple messages on my answering machine (remember those?). They were hilarious, so I taped them and set them to music. I have the MP3 still; it’s her talking in her thick cockney accent, drunk as hell, telling us she loves us; we’re “the Pooh-sticks of our generation, and I love you guys”; then calling the next day sober, apologizing for the drunk call. Makes me laugh to hear it; crazy times. I’ll miss her.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Access to Granlibakken
    Posts
    11,184
    Shit that’s tough. Condolences. Not much to add to what’s been said above.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    General Sherman's Favorite City
    Posts
    35,251
    Very sorry for your loss Flyover, I hope you and her loved ones find peace.

    To echo what many, many others have said. Mental issues and depression are too stigmatized. Ask people you care about (and others) how they're doing every chance you get; and mean it. You just may be the person who allows them to vent just enough to get them a step back from the edge.
    I still call it The Jake.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Central OR
    Posts
    5,963
    I hope this thread isn’t too self-pitying; I just hope one loss can help others see that there is an alternative. Bmills, you’re absolutely right; we’re all in this together, and need to have each other’s backs.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    19,215
    97654

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  17. #17
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    2,665
    Condolences for loss, Flyover. I hope you find peace. It might take some time. Keep reaching out.

    This crew helped me during my darkest time last summer. Thanks for it not being taboo around these parts. (especially these days)

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    STL
    Posts
    13,294

    Depression kills

    Quote Originally Posted by Bunion 2020 View Post
    Buddy I moved west with and lived with off and on for 5 years.

    After I was left Park City I went back to visit and to his wedding, seemed like one of the happiest days of his life.

    Maybe 6 years later he hung himself. People said it was depression and he had struggled with it for years.

    I had no idea.

    My Middle sister deals with it. We have an agreement, she can call me anytime to talk, night/day doesn't matter. I still worry.

    Vibes man.
    That’s how you help people. Always be available. When people become suicidal, they lose all self control and their minds shift gears and seek out a way to stop the pain, it’s a involuntary response. Someone answering the phone at the right time can save a life.

    I once heard a disabled vet explain the mental pain he felt was worse than any physical he’d endured. It can be that bad.

    Vibes flyover.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Edgewater, CO
    Posts
    696
    So sorry, and the best way to honor your friend is just what you’re doing - addressing it

    Cause for folks dealing with it that can be so f-ing hard to do


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    Corner store junkies giving advice

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Central OR
    Posts
    5,963
    Quote Originally Posted by miahw2828 View Post
    So sorry, and the best way to honor your friend is just what you’re doing - addressing it

    Cause for folks dealing with it that can be so f-ing hard to do


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    Exactly. I debated whether to even start this thread, but if it helps one person, it’s worth it. This shit should be discussed openly, without stigma.

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Down In A Hole, Up in the Sky
    Posts
    35,361
    Sorry for your loss, FC, that’s rough. Depression has touched my life as well, it is hard to truly comprehend what others are going through.
    Forum Cross Pollinator, gratuitously strident

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    here and there
    Posts
    18,583
    It will only get worse.

    Weak leave, strong remain.
    watch out for snakes

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Walpole NH
    Posts
    10,832
    Quote Originally Posted by SB View Post
    It will only get worse.

    Weak leave, strong remain.
    What’s that mean? They are weak for listening to voice telling them they aren’t worth being alive?
    I don’t like you, I really don’t.
    crab in my shoe mouth

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    2,665
    Quote Originally Posted by SB View Post
    It will only get worse.

    Weak leave, strong remain.
    That doesn’t make any sense. As any suicidal person will tell you, it takes tremendous strength to end it.

    You could even argue the opposite— that the weak can’t commit.

    This is an uneducated conversation.

    Go away. Leave this thread. People are mourning. And others are trying to help and connect.

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    South Central
    Posts
    745
    It is a mistake to try to rationalize the lead up to someone ending their life. Having lost a close family member to suicide, I can certainly say I think he was in a real struggle and can’t imagine the anguish that led to the final act. I have nothing else to add but the request to be kind regarding this topic.

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