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  1. #1
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    Mar 2005
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    My hovercraft is full of eels

    “Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.”
    Hunter S. Thompson

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    watch out for snakes

  3. #3
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    Mar 2005
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    SE USA
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    my copy of green lantern #21-2 says you can build one with a vacumn cleaner. I always opted for the x-ray vision glasses.
    "Can't you see..."

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    Please fondle my buttocks

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
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    Down by the river, Terrace, BC
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    Dennis Moore. Dumb, dumb, dumb.
    “I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.”
    ― Kurt Vonnegut, A Man Without a Country

    www.mymountaincoop.ca

    This is OUR mountain - come join us!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
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    Warm parts of the St. Vrain
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    My hovercraft is full of eels

    Quote Originally Posted by Marshall Tucker View Post
    my copy of green lantern #21-2 says you can build one with a vacumn cleaner. I always opted for the x-ray vision glasses.

    Dude in my 5th grade class built the hovercraft from thevsame or similar ad. Boys life, probably. Once it was finished he somehow wasn’t too embarrassed to fess up to it so he brought it to school. My teacher dug it because, well, science. I however was slightly less impressed. I felt vicariously scammed upon seeing it.

    while I suppose nobody would admit to being so stupid as to not think about the fact that the fucker would need a power source, it did not dawn upon my kid brain. In all of my ogling the ad, I never considered you’d have to plug it into the fucking wall. Once I saw it in person, this limitation became just as obvious as it was disappointing. Oooooh, RIIiiiigHT, the power.

    So the one fucking thing you’d ever want to hover over, water, would be a recipe for electrocution of the rider. Great. I mean, what the fuck else do you want to hover over? A smooth floor? I mean someone already invented the fucking WHEEL for moving shit over a goddamn tile (linoleum) floor!

    Also, there was no way to drive it. It just sat there making noise and hovering. You could push it. So you couldn’t even hardly make a joke about wanting a 5000’ extension cord.

    Lol. Fucking hovercraft. I also never got the survival knife with the storage handle. Now, I think that was regrettable as I’m certain that for 8 bucks you got a quality item. Guessing that like the aforementioned X-ray goggles, most of the offerings were reasonably high quality and trustworthy pieces of kit. I mean they couldn’t all be scams? Right?

    I also signed up for that fucking sales club. I mean, the pinnacle of all of those scams had to be the fucking Captain Planet Sales Club. Holy shit. Scamming the little fuckers out of money is one thing. That’s easy. Getting them to peddle your wears in exchange for junky cheap merch? Well, that is next level stuff.

    And the pitch? Oh wat a pitch. Hello ma’am . Would you like to buy some trash you have no need for? Overpriced wrapping paper for this summer? Some preserved meats? ANYTHING!?!?
    “What cause is this for?” “Uh, you know. Uh. Well, ME! I don’t have one of those beer helmet things and I’d also like to have a much boomier boom-box.”
    I guess they left it to the kid to create some cover story about how it’s “for school.” I should have been smart enough to do that especially since it was the very FIRST thing my parents told me I better not do.

    Many years Later one my cousins got an RC hovercraft and that little thing was actually pretty sweet.

    TLDR: seeng the built out hovercraft stole all of my remaining childhood innocence.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    If we're gonna wear uniforms, we should all wear somethin' different!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
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    I smell poutine!!!
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    Defense against a guy with a banana.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
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    1,484
    To this day I will often proposition my wife by asking 'do you waaahhhnt to come back to my place? Bouncy bouncy!' works even when we're both already at home.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
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    monument
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marshall Tucker View Post
    my copy of green lantern #21-2 says you can build one with a vacumn cleaner. I always opted for the x-ray vision glasses.
    I always had my eye on that Potato Gun contraption.
    In search of the elusive artic powder weasel ...

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
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    Seattle
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    Quote Originally Posted by Downbound Train View Post
    And there will come a day when our ancestors look back...........

  11. #11
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    May 2016
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    Quote Originally Posted by pfluffenmeister View Post
    I always had my eye on that Potato Gun contraption.
    Potato guns are a shit load of fun. My brother in law had one. Had lots of good times launching spuds at his neighbors down the hill from him.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    here and there
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    seems legit

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    watch out for snakes

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
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    I smell poutine!!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by mattig View Post
    To this day I will often proposition my wife by asking 'do you waaahhhnt to come back to my place? Bouncy bouncy!' works even when we're both already at home.
    I use know what I mean, say no more!

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
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    SE USA
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    2,349
    Quote Originally Posted by billyk View Post
    P launching spuds at his neighbors down the hill from him.
    this always confused me. We would build these contraptions, and I'm going back to the early 70s, with beer cans when they were steel, duck-taping 3-4 cans weth both the top and bottom removed. so think pipe. the last can, on the top with the ring tab already pulled, you used a beer key made a couple more holes and on the bottom of that can you poked 1 small hole with a nail. Duck tape that can at one end. you ten stuffed a tennis ball down the open end till it was just up agianst the top with the beer key holes. then you got yer ronco lighter fluid, maybe sucked up a little gas into that thing, a few quirts through the nail hole, hold a lighter against that small whole. If it didn't explode it would shoot that tennis ball a pretty fer piece.

    I described it once to a yankee buddy, he said "app naaath we called at a potatoe gun"
    "Can't you see..."

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    here and there
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    16,588
    watch out for snakes

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