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  1. #51
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    here and there
    Posts
    16,350
    Mostly very good advice herein.

    Be there after the fall.

    Pictures are always a win.

    Many times in trying to comfort others one is really only comforting ones self.
    watch out for snakes

  2. #52
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Ventura Highway in the Sunshine
    Posts
    21,595
    Quote Originally Posted by 54-46 View Post

    My family and close friends typically give money. Maybe itís a cultural thing. You guys do a ďmoney danceĒ at weddings or are you repressed about that, too?

    pays for a funeral (and you didnít check to see if you could help)...
    One is about starting a life (together) the other is not.

    Reaching out and offering help for funeral expenses is reasonable, just giving cash is not, IMO.

    Using the money gathered to get one of your posse there to represent would be a good gesture. I just went to my uncle's funeral 2,000 miles away. Most of the west coast contingent of the family could make it on short notice, but the couple of us who did were thanked by the whole family for making the effort, etc.

    I agree it is a constitutional right for Americans to be assholes...its just too bad that so many take the opportunity...
    iscariot

  3. #53
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    truckee
    Posts
    12,156
    Quote Originally Posted by 54-46 View Post
    IMO, itís not wrong either way. Different strokes for different folks. If you can help, then help to your mode/comfort level. Giving a fuck and giving money arenít mutually exclusive.

    My family and close friends typically give money. Maybe itís a cultural thing. You guys do a ďmoney danceĒ at weddings or are you repressed about that, too?

    I bet it would feel pretty shitty to talk about your upcoming trip to Retallack or CMH (or wherever) when your cousin or long time friend pays for a funeral (and you didnít check to see if you could help)...
    Good point. The advise here reflects the prevailing cultural demographic of skiers.

  4. #54
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    658
    It's not uncommon at all around here that people put cash in a card for the family. I think everyone assumes the family can use the money to help with burial costs or put it to other needs. Also, among my girlfriends we get our friends a small gift of remembrance if her parent dies. Usually a piece of jewelry. (given as a group). SO, I think it depends on the situation. But not alcohol.
    Quote Originally Posted by My Pet Powder Goat View Post
    Come for the poo-slinging, Save a fortune on a plumber.

  5. #55
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Big in Japan
    Posts
    39,847
    We Irish just prop up the body in the casket and drink a ton in his/her presence.

    Let's do some livin'
    After, we die

  6. #56
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Missoula, MT
    Posts
    20,635
    Quote Originally Posted by EWG View Post
    And remember that he'll get tons of attention over the next few weeks but then everyone will move on. He'll still be wrestling with it. Keep checking in - it'll make a difference. It really will. Months from now.
    So much this. I never got, nor did I expect, anything more than a sympathy card or 2.
    Quote Originally Posted by El Chupacabra View Post
    This.

    Everyone came out and was all over us when our younger son died last year. Everyone offered up promises of checking in regularly and being there. Few followed through.
    Fuck, I forgot about that. PM me if you need.
    No longer stuck.

    Quote Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn View Post
    Just an uneducated guess.

  7. #57
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    SF & the Ho
    Posts
    6,092
    Quote Originally Posted by hutash View Post
    Now that tnis thread has degenerated to the usual TGR, might I suggest hookers and blow?
    Only if the hooker looks like his mom. Or his dad. Maybe it wonít last as long as a photo, but it will be more memorable

  8. #58
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    LV-426
    Posts
    16,412
    Thanks EWG and Stuckey - appreciate it.
    Quote Originally Posted by powder11 View Post
    if you have to resort to taking advice from the nitwits on this forum, then you're doomed.

  9. #59
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    The Cone of Uncertainty
    Posts
    48,638
    I'm sorry to say I forgot about that too. I had to search and it all came back, such a damn shame. Hang in there Chup. I can't imagine what I could do to help but if there's something, name it.

  10. #60
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Sandy, Utah
    Posts
    11,732
    Quote Originally Posted by EWG View Post
    Yes. I always think food makes more sense, cause it eliminates a chore and let's them focus on what they need to focus on. Gift certificate at a restaurant for takeout.
    Send food to house. Typical after the funeral. Cold cut platter, desserts, fruit. Donation to a cause his dad liked. Booze is bad.

    Sent from my Pixel 2 using TGR Forums mobile app
    http://www.firsttracksonline.com

    I wish i could be like SkiFishBum

  11. #61
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    on the banks of Fish Creek
    Posts
    2,108
    Quote Originally Posted by Benny Profane View Post
    We Irish just prop up the body in the casket and drink a ton in his/her presence.

    yep.

  12. #62
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    The Cone of Uncertainty
    Posts
    48,638
    well that's why it's called a wake. You're supposed to wake the dead. Requires some lubrication to really get in the mood.

  13. #63
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Big in Japan
    Posts
    39,847
    owwww.

    Let's do some livin'
    After, we die

  14. #64
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    12,750
    Quote Originally Posted by iceman View Post
    well that's why it's called a wake. You're supposed to wake the dead. Requires some lubrication to really get in the mood.
    Is that what you call it when your wife gets you up to clean the coffee maker?

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