Results 26 to 50 of 64
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02-17-2020, 02:57 PM #26
And remember that he'll get tons of attention over the next few weeks but then everyone will move on. He'll still be wrestling with it. Keep checking in - it'll make a difference. It really will. Months from now.
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02-17-2020, 02:57 PM #27
Send a condolences card
Save your cash to go visit him as soon as is convenient for you and him.
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02-17-2020, 03:27 PM #28
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02-17-2020, 03:34 PM #29
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02-17-2020, 03:46 PM #30
Sorry El. I don't think I knew that and it's terrible to hear. No parent should ever have to go through that. We've had some loss and it still gets me many, many years later. Not as often and not as deep, but it's just part of you after a while.
Again, really, really sorry.
It does get better. It's just not linear - always ups and downs.
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02-17-2020, 05:06 PM #31
I agree with the check in and support of physically being there. Super meaningful. People remember it forever.
I usually give the family some money instead of flowers because services are expensive.
If the family had a charity, I donate there, too.
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02-17-2020, 05:53 PM #32
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02-17-2020, 06:02 PM #33
I think monetary gifts--like a collection at work or a go fund me --are sometimes appropriate, depending on the circumstances like the financial situation of the family, especially if the deceased was working. Hopefully the person arranging the contributions knows if that they are needed.
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02-17-2020, 06:09 PM #34Registered User
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- eastern Pa.
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I think the photo print idea is great.
Definitely not alcohol.
Sent from my iPhone using TapatalkLife is what happens between the things you plan.
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02-17-2020, 06:34 PM #35
Why are people buying gifts for this again? Very weird.
Maybe a card or something but a gift? Gifts are to celebrate stuff not for bereavement.
Wait till Hallmark gets ahold of this thread.......Christ.
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02-17-2020, 06:55 PM #36
Your friends are idiots.
One of the most helpful and thoughtful acts people did for me when my dad died unexpectedly was bring food, something already prepared, like cassaroles. "food trains" done by friends are popular, but impossible if your not there to cook and deliver, but perhaps food delivery or a weeks worth of prepped dinners that just needs to be heated would help. Also, think a small photo would be awesome
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02-17-2020, 07:00 PM #37Funky But Chic
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- Sep 2001
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- The Cone of Uncertainty
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Everybody's bitching about the alcohol, but that's only half the gift. Alcohol AND a handgun, that's the ticket,
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02-17-2020, 07:03 PM #38
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02-17-2020, 07:06 PM #39Funky But Chic
- Join Date
- Sep 2001
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- The Cone of Uncertainty
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I thought it might be too edgy but persevered.
Perhaps unfortunately.
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02-17-2020, 07:37 PM #40
Don’t forget the bullet.
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02-17-2020, 07:52 PM #41
And some meth.
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02-17-2020, 07:57 PM #42
Food if you are in the neighbourhood. A card and maybe a donation to a charity of choice if you can't make it. A photo you have of the three of you would be an excellent gift.
If you really want to treat the guy, schedule a ski trip, fishing trip, or whatever favourite pastime they did together, and pour out a dram of fine whiskey with him then.
Sorry to hear about your friend's loss.
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02-17-2020, 08:31 PM #43
Now that tnis thread has degenerated to the usual TGR, might I suggest hookers and blow?
I agree it is a constitutional right for Americans to be assholes...its just too bad that so many take the opportunity...iscariot
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02-17-2020, 08:58 PM #44
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02-17-2020, 09:19 PM #45Funky But Chic
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- Sep 2001
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- The Cone of Uncertainty
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Well there's probably a lot to take care of.
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02-17-2020, 09:19 PM #46
Just read the first post. College friend’s dad?
Maybe some “thoughts and prayers” with a side of “vibes”.
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02-17-2020, 09:22 PM #47Funky But Chic
- Join Date
- Sep 2001
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- The Cone of Uncertainty
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- 49,306
That'd be perfect if it was an internet friend, but he knows the guy.
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02-18-2020, 01:29 AM #48
Honest question though - is sending $$$ or giving it at the service a thing? Have I been doing it wrong all this time?
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02-18-2020, 01:55 AM #49
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02-18-2020, 05:37 AM #50
IMO, it’s not wrong either way. Different strokes for different folks. If you can help, then help to your mode/comfort level. Giving a fuck and giving money aren’t mutually exclusive.
My family and close friends typically give money. Maybe it’s a cultural thing. You guys do a “money dance” at weddings or are you repressed about that, too?
I bet it would feel pretty shitty to talk about your upcoming trip to Retallack or CMH (or wherever) when your cousin or long time friend pays for a funeral (and you didn’t check to see if you could help)...
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