I love my dog and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

**concretejungle** · 11-08-2019, 07:49 PM

Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn

Can I assume muted's use of the work kick is a little hyperbolic?
Because fuck, man, really? You kick a dog?

I would assume it's a gentle gtfo of the way with the foot because the dog is in the middle of the hallway/doorway/generally choosing to be in the way instead of out of the way.

PB · 11-08-2019, 08:56 PM

Yeah, no kicking.

A dog that's your best bud for 12 years can do what ever the fuck it wants as it rounds the final turn.

To the OP: solve two (maybe more??) problems with one stone - abandon your wife and kids.

**Art Shirk** · 11-08-2019, 09:45 PM

Did you rent it shoes? Did you buy it a beer? Does he take your wife's turn?

**idahospud** · 11-08-2019, 10:09 PM

Originally Posted by steepconcrete

a 5lb dog in a handbag

That is not a dog.

**Game Over** · 11-09-2019, 11:54 AM

It’s a woozle!

Originally Posted by PB

Yeah, no kicking.

A dog that's your best bud for 12 years can do what ever the fuck it wants as it rounds the final turn.

To the OP: solve two (maybe more??) problems with one stone - abandon your wife and kids.

Ha!

I keep feeding the dog whole chicken wings to no avail.

**panchosdad** · 11-09-2019, 12:15 PM

You have a wife problem, not a dog problem. Dog's just the symptom.

**stuckathuntermtn** · 11-09-2019, 12:19 PM

Originally Posted by concretejungle

I would assume it's a gentle gtfo of the way with the foot because the dog is in the middle of the hallway/doorway/generally choosing to be in the way instead of out of the way.

I fucking hope that's what he meant.

**MarcusBrody** · 11-09-2019, 12:41 PM

Originally Posted by I Skied Bandini Mountain

Heh, I had a dog growing up that looked just like that. Imperious little guy.

My dog apparently loves chocolate. Particularly when we are visiting my parents. She has been to five family Christmases and eaten chocolate at least 3 times. And for the most part, these aren't "it was left on the counter, dumb humans" situations. The worst was when we left her at home for Christmas eve service, and came back to find that my visiting brother and wife had left their wrapped presents in a room that the dogs had access to. Our dog had gotten up on the table, taken the present down, tore open the packaging, and found a Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Passport (basically a bunch of small chocolate bars from around the world), which she ate. We all come home and find this. We don't know how long ago she ate it. She seemed to have thrown up some on her own. My brother (who brought the present) is panicking and induces vomiting in his dog, who no one believes was the actual culprit. Our dog is outside looking at the other dog barfing like "I'm sorry man, I don't know why they'd do that to you". She had a couple rounds of diarrhea and went on with her day. She seems to be prepping herself to go in against a Sicilian terrier with death on the line.

**liv2ski** · 11-10-2019, 11:33 AM

My American Alsatian has always had a sensitive stomach, but the last 3 months are making me nuts. Due to the peas in dog food scare, I changed his food to a yam based binder. The guy has had diarrhea on and off for 3 months now. Every time it gets ridiculous I give him antibiotics for a few days, he gets solid and then in a week he is shitting his brains out again. Going to go buy the Purina Pro Plan for sensitive stomachs today and see if that helps over time. Such a PITA. And ya, he has been to the vet who gave me the antibiotics for when he gets out of control.

**Shredhead** · 11-10-2019, 12:40 PM

^^
Have you tried plain white rice?
I mix 1/4 cup with my sensitive stomach’s kibble and it makes a big difference. Don’t cost much to try.

**zion zig zag** · 11-10-2019, 12:41 PM

Originally Posted by panchosdad

You have a wife problem, not a dog problem. Dog's just the symptom.

Ha. Truth.

**liv2ski** · 11-10-2019, 01:13 PM

Originally Posted by Shredhead

^^
Have you tried plain white rice?
I mix 1/4 cup with my sensitive stomach’s kibble and it makes a big difference. Don’t cost much to try.

I will start adding that to his food for the next few days and see if that helps

**riser4** · 11-10-2019, 06:52 PM

My toy poodle needs a reset now and then. I poach chicken breasts for him and then use the liquid to cook white rice. He love chicken and gloppy rice. He crazy if he thinks I gonna cook like that for him every day. Unfortunately he now knows the word chicken.

**muted** · 11-10-2019, 07:22 PM

Originally Posted by concretejungle

I would assume it's a gentle gtfo of the way with the foot because the dog is in the middle of the hallway/doorway/generally choosing to be in the way instead of out of the way.

I wouldn't say it's a nudge, it's more like this:

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It's unfortunate the thread is not titled: I LOVE MY WIFE'S DOG AND ALL, BUT JESUS HERCULES CHRIST...

One thing that drives me nuts lately is he wakes up around 6am and smacks his lips every 5-10 seconds until it wakes me up. It's driving me insane, once I hear it I can not - not focus on it. I threw the dog bed onto the other side of the room so he'd be closer to my wife and out of earshot, but he must like me (or he's taunting me) for some reason because he'll sleep next to me anyways. Or I wake up to him furiously licking his balls, another real treat.

The dog is a good dog, sure, but I do want to punt him off a bridge about twice a day.

**MTT** · 11-10-2019, 07:34 PM

Is this a new thing? This insane attachment to little bitty dogs? That must be with you everywhere you go?

I saw this recently. And one time she lost track of the dog for 10 min? She went feral, cried running up and down the street in a panic. She was truely terrified.

Makes you wonder, WTF is really going on in your life?
That someones emotional stability revolves around being in constant contact with a scrawny little dog.

**SumJongGuy** · 11-10-2019, 07:38 PM

So I guess it's clear every night's a threesome in your bed?? Last dog we had got to sleep in our bed. Current one we've just let the kids invite to their beds.

**muted** · 11-10-2019, 08:21 PM

Best (and ONLY) threesome story I know that involved a dog was some mutt, a very good friend of mine, and his girlfriend. The humans were going at it doggie-style and then the doggie got excited by the commotion and decided to get into the action by jumping on the bed and licking him: from his balls-to-his-asshole, in the heat of the moment.

And for the record, it was a buzzkill, of course. Three-some ended immediately. Dog was his girlfriends, not his btw. they broke up soon after.

**SumJongGuy** · 11-10-2019, 08:31 PM

Originally Posted by muted

And for the record, it was a buzzkill, of course. Three-some ended immediately. Dog was his girlfriends, not his btw. they broke up soon after.

And he hooked up with her friend the dog..

**ill-advised strategy** · 11-10-2019, 08:37 PM

Originally Posted by riser3

My toy poodle.........now knows the word chicken.

**JongDoe** · 11-10-2019, 09:23 PM

Originally Posted by muted

Best (and ONLY) threesome story I know that involved a dog was some mutt, a very good friend of mine, and his girlfriend. The humans were going at it doggie-style and then the doggie got excited by the commotion and decided to get into the action by jumping on the bed and licking him: from his balls-to-his-asshole, in the heat of the moment.

And for the record, it was a buzzkill, of course. Three-some ended immediately. Dog was his girlfriends, not his btw. they broke up soon after.

Holy shit, same thing happened to me, including the breaking up soon after. She didn't like that I pushed the dog off the bed and it was never the same.after that.

**MTT** · 11-10-2019, 09:34 PM

Originally Posted by JongDoe

Holy shit, same thing happened to me, including the breaking up soon after. She didn't like that I pushed the dog off the bed and it was never the same.after that.

I think I see where this is going. I will avert my eyes.

**idahospud** · 11-10-2019, 10:15 PM

Originally Posted by MTT

Is this a new thing? This insane attachment to little bitty dogs? That must be with you everywhere you go?

Huh? Oh, that's Cynthia's dog. I think it's a Pomeranian. I can't leave him home alone or he eats the furniture. I'm watching him while Cynthia and Marty Ackerman are in Hawaii.

**riser4** · 11-11-2019, 06:33 AM

Originally Posted by idahospud

Huh? Oh, that's Cynthia's dog. I think it's a Pomeranian. I can't leave him home alone or he eats the furniture. I'm watching him while Cynthia and Marty Ackerman are in Hawaii.

You brought the fuckin' Pomeranian bowling?

**Elkhound Odin** · 11-11-2019, 08:00 AM

Originally Posted by liv2ski

My American Alsatian has always had a sensitive stomach, but the last 3 months are making me nuts. Due to the peas in dog food scare, I changed his food to a yam based binder. The guy has had diarrhea on and off for 3 months now. Every time it gets ridiculous I give him antibiotics for a few days, he gets solid and then in a week he is shitting his brains out again. Going to go buy the Purina Pro Plan for sensitive stomachs today and see if that helps over time. Such a PITA. And ya, he has been to the vet who gave me the antibiotics for when he gets out of control.

Pro plan sensitive is all I feed my Amer Eskimo. Solved all our problems. Hope it works for you

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