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  1. #1
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    Pinching a Loaf at work - revisited (nsr)

    So, this morning before my meeting I went into the reading room for a few moments to myself. I dropped trou and went to get the job done. Whilst perched on the toilet, someone came in and noticed my feet under the stall door. The denied brown snake liberator turned and left, assumingly returning later.

    Realizing that he was tipped off by my feet, I looked down and realized that my pants were all the way down, boxers and all, bunched up on my shoes (I'm wearing Crocs today...), halfway on the floor. Kinda like I was at home.

    My question is this, when you are sending your brown submarine on it's maiden voyage at work, do you relax and drop 'em all the way, or do you do the half drop and hold your pants (and undergarments) up at the bend of your knees?

    I used to do this, but found it hard to relax and just let it go...
    "Have fun, get a flyrod, and give the worm dunkers the finger when you start double hauling." ~Lumpy

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by 72Twenty
    My question is this, when you are sending your brown submarine on it's maiden voyage at work, do you relax and drop 'em all the way, or do you do the half drop and hold your pants (and undergarments) up at the bend of your knees?

    ...
    Wether or not I'm at home, work, or in a bar doesn't factor in when I decide to fully drop or not. It's how clean the bathroom is that counts.
    Buy nice things here.
    www.motorcityglassworks.com

  3. #3
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    Who was it that has to get all the way nude to take a dump? Keoni?
    "Have fun, get a flyrod, and give the worm dunkers the finger when you start double hauling." ~Lumpy

  4. #4
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    Dec 2002
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-wreck
    Wether or not I'm at home, work, or in a bar doesn't factor in when I decide to fully drop or not. It's how clean the bathroom is that counts.
    There's no such thing as a clean bathroom, let's clear that up FIRST.

    Home is home - anywhere else....ISN'T.

    Think I'll keep the boxer briefs and pants off the piss-covered floor, thanks.

    Ugh.
    We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need? ~ Lee Iacocca

  5. #5
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    take it where it belongs https://www.tetongravity.com/forums/s...3&page=1&pp=40
    jerk off

  6. #6
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    Apr 2004
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    1,833

    Red face Damn Bitches

    I pay money out of my pocket about once a month for ass spray because I don't need to smell anyone else's shit. But the damn bitches keep steeling it! I have to go into the lady's room and steel it back regularly.

    It's a nice executive showroom bathroom so I drop the drawers all the way down. I even have moist towletts under the sick for those messy occassions. Last time I used the non-exempt bathroom to shit, some dude was moaning while trying to establish his flow. Way too weird.

  7. #7
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    May 2004
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    Quote Originally Posted by EPSkis
    There's no such thing as a clean bathroom, let's clear that up FIRST.

    Home is home - anywhere else....ISN'T.

    Think I'll keep the boxer briefs and pants off the piss-covered floor, thanks.

    Ugh.
    But some places feel like home. Like, a freinds house, a girlfreinds house, mom/dad's, grandma/grandpa's, that secret bathroom downtown that you should not be able to use because you don't work in that building but it's really clean and really convenient and you've snuck in so many times that security guards think you work there and they never ask for your I.D..
    Buy nice things here.
    www.motorcityglassworks.com

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by 72Twenty
    My question is this, when you are sending your brown submarine on it's maiden voyage at work, do you relax and drop 'em all the way, or do you do the half drop and hold your pants (and undergarments) up at the bend of your knees?
    I certainly don't let anything touch the floor if at all possible.

    This topic reminds me, though. Don't you hate it when you have to take a dump while skiing? The combination of ski boots, long underwear and ski pants makes it very difficult to 'assume the position.'

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-wreck
    that secret bathroom downtown that you should not be able to use because you don't work in that building but it's really clean and really convenient and you've snuck in so many times that security guards think you work there and they never ask for your I.D..
    ancient hoteliers secret,
    as long as you dont look out of place and dont cause trouble, you can walk into any lobby of even the most upscale hotel and crap in marble and gold splendour.
    this sustains me while traveling.
    I know it doesn't seem like a secret, but whenever i try to get friends to duck into a nice hotel in San Fran or NYC, etc, they balk "we cant go in there"

  10. #10
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    Whilst out of town (or even in town) I find that the nearest Marriot or Raddison are always nicely equipped to take care of such needs. (But I still keep my pants off of the floor. EEWWWW!)
    I should probably change my username to IReallyDon'tTeleMuchAnymoreDave.

  11. #11
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    This is not a hoteliers secret but a secret to life.

    As long as you act like you belong (or know what you're talking about) people will let you get away with nearly anything.
    "It is not the result that counts! It is not the result but the spirit! Not what - but how. Not what has been attained - but at what price.
    - A. Solzhenitsyn

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    Let's face it, ski dumping sucks! Besides difficulty of accessibility, the damn toilet seat at every friggin ski joint is wet! Sure, I like to believe it's just moisture dripping from ski clothing, but, I don't want to dry off a dudes poor aim...

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Woodsy
    ancient hoteliers secret,
    as long as you dont look out of place and dont cause trouble, you can walk into any lobby of even the most upscale hotel and crap in marble and gold splendour.
    this sustains me while traveling.
    I know it doesn't seem like a secret, but whenever i try to get friends to duck into a nice hotel in San Fran or NYC, etc, they balk "we cant go in there"
    Except at the Ritz Carlton on Central Park South. They send you to the Park Plaza.
    It's 5 o'clock somewhere.

  14. #14
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    Chevron gas stations have the cleanest bathrooms ever. I always use an ass-gasket or make my own with TP. I NEVER let my pants touch the ground. It's even easier if you're wearing a skirt or a dress and a very small pair of undies.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-wreck
    they never ask for your I.D..
    Speaking of ID, I work in a building that requires photo ID and key card access. If you can't be identified by your reeboks your card photo with your mug grinning off of the bathroom tile is dead-give-away as to who is pounding one out.
    Damn, we're in a tight spot!

  16. #16
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    Oct 2002
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    While we're on the topic, I've had some recent encounters that really bother me. This situation only refers to a 3 or more stall situation (not including the disabled stall...I'll get to that in a minute). In past work environs, the unspoken etiquette seemed to be that the middle stall basically doesn't exist. Basically pick an end stall leaving a stall-width buffer for another user.

    Well, at the new job, 100% of the time someone has come in and interrupted my quiet time, they've used the stall RIGHT NEXT to mine. Why do this? There is an empty stall on the end, why do you want to sit next to another person relieving themselves? If it weren't for other, very important bathroom etiquette, I would've said something weeks ago.

    Finally, I've notice a very large portion of the time that a stall is taken, it's the disabled stall (and the person using isn't disabled). This really pisses me off, and I might break the code and say something next time I see it.
    Remind me. We'll send him a red cap and a Speedo.

  17. #17
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    just reading this topic made me want to go, so I'm sitting on the toilet typing this right now
    current ventures:


    <<| Downhill-Divas |>> social network for women's mountain biking, skiing & snowboarding!
    twitter.com/elisabethos
    Adventures in Search & Social Marketing
    ...pmgear...

  18. #18
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    Can one really be held responsible for leaving some suckbacks* in a public toilet if it is an autoflusher? Sure they usually have a manual trip but still...



    *small pieces of shit and green chilis that go out the pipe only to come back into the bowl at the last instant.
    "It is not the result that counts! It is not the result but the spirit! Not what - but how. Not what has been attained - but at what price.
    - A. Solzhenitsyn

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by bagtagley
    Well, at the new job, 100% of the time someone has come in and interrupted my quiet time, they've used the stall RIGHT NEXT to mine. Why do this? There is an empty stall on the end, why do you want to sit next to another person relieving themselves? If it weren't for other, very important bathroom etiquette, I would've said something weeks ago.
    We only have 2 stalls on our floor, but one is next to the urinals and is hardly ever used (the other in the "dark" corner) I usually use the one next to the urinals (middleish) because theres more TP and because its used less it probably is cleaner!

    I don't think its right to go in hte middle if someone is in the end stall though, unless its a super emergency... I've almost shit my pants a few times waiting for someone to finish..

  20. #20
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    See, there are some men of truly great character left in this world!

    Sprite

    Quote Originally Posted by bakers_dozen
    I've almost shit my pants a few times waiting for someone to finish..
    "I call it reveling in natures finest element. Water in its pristine form. Straight from the heavens. We bathe in it, rejoicing in the fullest." --BZ

  21. #21
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    Oct 2003
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    suckbacks*

    Commonly refereed to in my home as "crumbly bits".

    Never allow the pants touch the floor, except at home or at the 'rents house.

    Public bathrooms are awful. If the bathroom is empty, I almost always use the handicapped stall, as it is usually the cleanest, and provides the most working room. If not available, I opt for the stall farthest away from other users.

  22. #22
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    Dec 2004
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    Remember to control your dick so it doesn’t contact the porcelain. Hold it up or tuck it down, better yet is to fabricate a hammock out of TP. STDs and AIDS will swim up the p-whole and kill you just like the homeless man will steal ones sole if you look him in the eye and tell him you have no change.
    So the world is filled with tubular entities. Food goes in one end and shit comes out the other. Sperm goes in and babies come out.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by The AD
    This topic reminds me, though. Don't you hate it when you have to take a dump while skiing? The combination of ski boots, long underwear and ski pants makes it very difficult to 'assume the position.'
    that and that I need some serious room for gear-shedding, and the skis have to come into the stall with me...I will NOT have a pair of skis stolen from me while I'm inside rocking a deuce!!!

    if bathroom's messy, I divebomb...but co-workers seem to understand and keep the place clean. Usually stocked with magazines, although they're usually old and invariably of the boring-ass "flying safety" variety.

    My job involves flying around in large cargo aircraft, and I have made it a career goal to never have to rumble a growler inside the lav on my plane. I made it through 2 years of being a mechanic on the plane, but now I'll be spending much longer periods aboard (some days are even up to 30hrs!). Hopefully I can pan it out.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by bakers_dozen
    We only have 2 stalls on our floor, but one is next to the urinals and is hardly ever used (the other in the "dark" corner) I usually use the one next to the urinals (middleish) because theres more TP and because its used less it probably is cleaner!

    I don't think its right to go in hte middle if someone is in the end stall though, unless its a super emergency... I've almost shit my pants a few times waiting for someone to finish..
    Speaking of paper, I found myself in a very difficult situation on the way to Friday's Red Sox game. I stopped at the rest area on the Mass Pike in Natick to blast a dukie, and in my haste to make waste, I neglected to notice that the paper dispenser was empty, both rolls. So I'm sitting wallowing over a particularly nasty wet shit, debating my options. I can get up without wiping and walk away, get up and switch stalls re-drop trou and wipe up the mess I made, or I can sit and wait for some stranger to come sit down next to me and strike up a conversation in hopes he can help me out.

    So, if it hadn't been such a sloppy one, I may have gotten up and switched stalls, but instead I decided to wait for someone to sit down in the next stall. Now this is a big rest area, gas station, mcdonalds, convenience store, mini arcade...so this bathroom has 10-15 stalls, and I'm planning on a decent wait. Not 30 seconds from my no-paper epiphany, some dude comes hustling into the next stall. Before his pants even hit the floor, his nasty diarrhea ass explodes all over the back of the bowl.

    After giving him a minute to catch his breath, I do the unspeakable and break my silence. "How's it goin over there?", I asked.

    "Oh man, I never should have eaten that left over Indian food from Monday night," I hear in return.

    Monday night? Holy crap...Indian food rips me a new one the day I eat it, never mind 5 days of sitting in the fridge later.

    I say, "Sounds like you got some problems, I got a problem too."

    Now this guy must be thinking, who the fcuk is this guy in the stall next to me that won't shut the hell up. So I give him a minute to let him ask what my problem is, but he doesn't, so I have to break the silence again. "Hey buddy, you got any extra paper over there?"

    The guy busts out laughing. He says, "In my 36 years of public restroom use, not one time has the guy next to me ever said a word. And I was seriously wondering why you felt the need to strike up a conversation with me, at a point in time when I'm hoping there was no one in the bathroom at all to hear the awful things coming out of my ass."

    He tossed a whole roll over the stall wall with a simple, "Enjoy."

    I was pretty distraught when I left the bathroom, and it took a good 3-4 Guinness at the park to get me back into a decent frame of mind.

    Moral of the story: ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS, check for paper first.
    Last edited by K-Stormchaser; 08-01-2005 at 02:04 PM.
    Ski like no one is watching!

  25. #25
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    Nomination for the best Mass pike shitter TR of the day.
    Damn, we're in a tight spot!

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