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  1. #51
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    Mar 2009
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    Offer your daughter $200 instead of a party and see what she says, most likely it'll be a "fuck yeah I'll take the money". You're ski pass for the week will only cost you $200 and FUCK the ex's thoughts on the matter. Go skiing and make an effort to create a special date with your kid another day and she'll be fine. At 14 your kid already knows that skiing is important to you and should understand. If she has issues with you going this is the least of your problems as a parent.

  2. #52
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    Jan 2010
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    Check in: Am I being an asshole to skip a kid’s bday for skiing?

    Quote Originally Posted by sirbumpsalot View Post
    30yrs from now:

    If you spent 0 days with your daughter you will wish you spent at least 1 more day
    If you spent 1000 days with your daughter you will wish you spent at least 1 more day
    If you spent 24/7 with your daughter you will wish you spent at least 1 more day

    Soooo....the 7 days on a ski trip will not be any different than the above.

    There are never enough days to go around. Accept it and live your life.

    IMHO
    Are you sure that math applies to when they are < 3 and 13-19? Sometimes separation makes the heart grow fonder and all that.

    Edit- my vote Mustenon is you talk to her about it. Ideally you find some event that she really wants to do and offer to go do that and celebrate her birthday then instead of cake at the ex’s.

    I’ll fourth the sentiment that adults who still think their birthday is a big deal are generally terrible humans. A buddy’s new wife just posted like 14 insta posts all with the hashtag #birthdayweek and on the birthday she went to her parents and then his parents and they had cake at both. Then just the two of them went out to a $500 sushi dinner and he gave her a handbag. This was for a random mid thirties birthday. My reaction, “dude you are so fucked, she’s going to expect this shit every year and your future kids are going to have massive parties every year”.

  3. #53
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
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    champlain valley
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    Quote Originally Posted by irul&ublo View Post
    And you didn’t invite me? I’m hurt.


    OP....you do know that if you don’t go to the party, the ex is gonna trash you to the kids
    Mine wouldn’t

    Go skiing - good idea to talk to daughter




    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  4. #54
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    Nov 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benny Profane View Post
    I got a baseball glove for my tenth birthday. What did you get?
    12g shotgun

  5. #55
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    Oct 2003
    Location
    In Your Wife
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    8,291
    Go skiing. From about the age of 12 onward, anytime my birthday rolled around and "happy birthday" wishes were bestowed in my general direction, my default response was to shrug and quote Pink Floyd: "shorter of breath, and one day closer to death." Still my go-to reply to "happy birthday."

  6. #56
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    Sep 2009
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mofro261 View Post
    The nest, well it be empty as of last weekend. Take them skiing.



    They may just thank you for it.
    Thumbs up

  7. #57
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
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    my own little world
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    Quote Originally Posted by neufox47 View Post
    I’ll fourth the sentiment that adults who still think their birthday is a big deal are generally terrible humans. A buddy’s new wife just posted like 14 insta posts all with the hashtag #birthdayweek and on the birthday she went to her parents and then his parents and they had cake at both. Then just the two of them went out to a $500 sushi dinner and he gave her a handbag. This was for a random mid thirties birthday. My reaction, “dude you are so fucked, she’s going to expect this shit every year and your future kids are going to have massive parties every year”.
    Hah. Yeah, my ex would be genuinely pissed if I didn’t take her birthday off work. You kidding me? You’re 34. We are going out this weekend to celebrate.

    The week before and after her birthday were always fucking miserable. I dreaded it every year.
    focus.

  8. #58
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    Oct 2003
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    Quote Originally Posted by glademaster View Post
    Go skiing. From about the age of 12 onward, anytime my birthday rolled around and "happy birthday" wishes were bestowed in my general direction, my default response was to shrug and quote Pink Floyd: "shorter of breath, and one day closer to death." Still my go-to reply to "happy birthday."
    Wow. We're you somewhat anti social and wore a black trenchcoat in HS?

  9. #59
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    Oct 2003
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    Quote Originally Posted by irul&ublo View Post
    And you didn’t invite me? I’m hurt.


    OP....you do know that if you don’t go to the party, the ex is gonna trash you to the kids
    Something tells me it won't be the first time.

  10. #60
    Join Date
    May 2016
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    3,581
    Quote Originally Posted by Mustonen View Post
    Hah. Yeah, my ex would be genuinely pissed if I didn’t take her birthday off work. You kidding me? You’re 34. We are going out this weekend to celebrate.

    The week before and after her birthday were always fucking miserable. I dreaded it every year.
    Does she tend to overdo Christmas, as well?

    When I was a kid, everyone in my family would give each other one gift, and that was pretty much it, besides eating together and watching football on TV.

    When I got married, though, I found out that my wife’s family put a LOT more effort into this gift giving thing. Multiple gifts were given, and expected. One of her sisters gave me 5 gifts one Christmas! They also have this tradition of opening one gift on Christmas Eve. Kinda blows any hope of getting by with just 1 gift.

  11. #61
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
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    11,740
    Quote Originally Posted by Benny Profane View Post
    Wow. We're you somewhat anti social and wore a black trenchcoat in HS?
    Glade has been on some sort of edgy initiative this last month. Nothing is safe - men’s shorts and birthdays among them.


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    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  12. #62
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    Nov 2002
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    EWA
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    Seems like a wonderful opportunity to bond with your daughter and teach her about what is important like spending time together regardless of what day is on the calendar. Learning to be flexible, moderate expectations and get to the root of what really matters are important life lessons.

    Quote Originally Posted by irul&ublo View Post

    OP....you do know that if you don’t go to the party, the ex is gonna trash you to the kids
    but if he takes the time to speak with his daughter first (and spend time with her) she will see her mother for what she really is when and if the trash talk starts.
    When you see something that is not right, not just, not fair, you have a moral obligation to say something. To do something." Rep. John Lewis


    Kindness is a bridge between all people

    Dunkin’ Donuts Worker Dances With Customer Who Has Autism

  13. #63
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Seattle
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    Quote Originally Posted by Art Shirk View Post
    Glade has been on some sort of edgy initiative this last month. Nothing is safe - men’s shorts and birthdays among them.


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    Maybe the Op should buy his daughter some nice stationery and a quality fountain pen for her birthday?
    Quote Originally Posted by Downbound Train View Post
    And there will come a day when our ancestors look back...........

  14. #64
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    2,767
    Take the daughter with on the ski trip?
    what's orange and looks good on hippies?
    fire

    rails are for trains
    If I had a dollar for every time capitalism was blamed for problems caused by the government I'd be a rich fat film maker in a baseball hat.

    www.theguideshut.ca

  15. #65
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    Dec 2006
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    Planning an exit
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    5,930
    Quote Originally Posted by Benny Profane View Post
    Wow. We're you somewhat anti social and wore a black trenchcoat in HS?
    He's been on here since he was around that age. Good thing we don't raise serial killers, just misanthropes.

  16. #66
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Park City
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    5,013
    Hmmm

    First congrats on the “ex” part. She sounds like a terrible individual.

    Second just talk to your daughter. I’m sure you’ll get the green light.

    Brink her back some serious dank from the lifty at Alta and T shirt.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    I rip the groomed on tele gear

  17. #67
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    Oct 2002
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    my own little world
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    Quote Originally Posted by waxman View Post
    Take the daughter with on the ski trip?
    If that was a possibility I’d pursue it. It isn’t.
    focus.

  18. #68
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
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    19,215
    She's going to be 14. The only chance you have of remaining cool in her world is to go on a subsidized ski vacation. Make her proud.

  19. #69
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    Dec 2011
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    5,531
    Quote Originally Posted by Mustonen View Post
    My 13 yo turns 14 in March. That’s also when I have an opportunity for a most-expenses paid week long ski trip to UT.
    ...

    So I’m taking a poll: Am I a narcissistic asshole for even considering bringing it up to my daughter to see if she actually gives a shit?
    Put her back in for a few months so she'll have a summer birthday.
    Quote Originally Posted by XXX-er View Post
    the situation strikes me as WAY too much drama at this point

  20. #70
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    Ventura Highway in the Sunshine
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    22,431
    Seriously, you are asking such a question on a dirtbag ski forum? That sad part is there are answers other then "go skiing". What is this place coming to?

    First off, fuck the ex (which apparently you already did, hence the conundrum). If she is the bitch she sounds, she already trashes you, so no worries on that point. Unless birthdays are the begin all and end all of your family celebrations go skiing. My daughters never gave a shit about b-days. Still dont. Just arent a priority in our family. Missing a wedding? That you should go to, unless it's an all expenses paid heli trip, then a silver tea set might be appropriate.

    Take the money you save on this trip and use it for a father daughter get away. A week or even a lo g weekend with just one on one dad/daughter time will make life long memories. A birthday...not so much.

    Father/daughter trips are the best, if for no other reason then the looks you get checking into a hotel

    I agree it is a constitutional right for Americans to be assholes...its just too bad that so many take the opportunity...
    iscariot

  21. #71
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    Oct 2003
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    Quote Originally Posted by reckless toboggan View Post
    Put her back in for a few months so she'll have a summer birthday.




    Hmmmm, yeah, you're on to something there. We may have something to learn here. You know how all the tiger Mom's try to schedule the birth so that the kids are the oldest in the class? Bigger and better? Maybe we should have dirtbag scheduling, so the kid pops out in mud season.

  22. #72
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
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    498
    Quote Originally Posted by Benny Profane View Post
    Hmmmm, yeah, you're on to something there. We may have something to learn here. You know how all the tiger Mom's try to schedule the birth so that the kids are the oldest in the class? Bigger and better? Maybe we should have dirtbag scheduling, so the kid pops out in mud season.
    That strategy would have helped flowing alpy. He skipped his daughter's birth (not birthday) to go day skiing.

  23. #73
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    truckee
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    23,120
    Might as well get the kid used to the idea that the only people who will care about her birthday as an adult are her dentist and her insurance agent.

  24. #74
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
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    on the banks of Fish Creek
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    7,514
    Quote Originally Posted by tbssux View Post
    That strategy would have helped flowing alpy. He skipped his daughter's birth (not birthday) to go day skiing.

    What the fuck is your problem?

  25. #75
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    northern BC
    Posts
    30,885
    when you get old and smelll funny

    they will put you in a shitty home
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

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