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  1. #26
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    Big in Japan
    Posts
    35,991
    I got a baseball glove for my tenth birthday. What did you get?

    Let's do some livin'
    After, we die

  2. #27
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
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    in a box on the porch
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    4,194
    Do either of you have kids?

  3. #28
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    Mar 2006
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    14,791
    Quote Originally Posted by skiballs View Post
    Do either of you have kids?
    Does that somehow make your opinion more valuable?

  4. #29
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
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    under the hogback shadow
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    2,719
    I think Danno needs to chirp in, I'm sure he has an opinion on this.

  5. #30
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
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    The Cone of Uncertainty
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    46,770
    Well he might know more about kids and birthday parties than someone who doesn't have kids and apparently never had a party.

  6. #31
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
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    in a box on the porch
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    Quote Originally Posted by 4matic View Post
    Does that somehow make your opinion more valuable?
    Yes

  7. #32
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    PRB
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    21,084
    Quote Originally Posted by Elkhound Odin View Post
    I think Danno needs to chirp in, I'm sure he has an opinion on this.
    uh, why?
    "fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
    "She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin

  8. #33
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Seattle
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    29,832
    Quote Originally Posted by Danno View Post
    uh, why?
    Do you own a BBQ?

    Apparently that's something to do with it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Downbound Train View Post
    And there will come a day when our ancestors look back...........

  9. #34
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    14,791
    Quote Originally Posted by skiballs View Post
    Yes
    I can remember it being important to my mom. Me, not so much.

  10. #35
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Bellevue
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    5,057
    Quote Originally Posted by Danno View Post
    uh, why?
    Has that ever stopped anyone on TGR?

  11. #36
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Suckramento
    Posts
    19,228

    Check in: Am I being an asshole to skip a kidís bday for skiing?

    Quote Originally Posted by 4matic View Post

    In fact, I just threw a bbq on my BD and cooked for my friends.
    And you didnít invite me? Iím hurt.


    OP....you do know that if you donít go to the party, the ex is gonna trash you to the kids
    Quando paramucho mi amore de felice carathon.
    Mundo paparazzi mi amore cicce verdi parasol.
    Questo abrigado tantamucho que canite carousel.


  12. #37
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    14,791
    Quote Originally Posted by irul&ublo View Post
    And you didn’t invite me? I’m hurt
    That's the problem. Somebody always gets hurt.

  13. #38
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    NCW
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mofro261 View Post
    I'd go skiing, but I'd also bring my girl with me.
    Kill two birds....


    Quote Originally Posted by 4matic View Post
    I can remember it being important to my mom. Me, not so much.
    well, three.

    I'd say your ex sounds like the selfish one.

  14. #39
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    4,755
    Go skiing. Talk to your kid about it. But go ski.




    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  15. #40
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Gaperville, CO
    Posts
    3,661
    You're not an asshole for considering it. It's not a ski day -- it's a mostly paid for ski vacation for a week. It's a multi-thousand dollar bonus vs an afternoon buying cake and parents minor bitching at each other.

    You're only an asshole if you don't:

    1. Make it clear that it is absolutely her choice. How she reacts and chooses will do nothing more than tell you how you're doing as parents -- what values you're passing on to your kids.
    2. Get plans on the books to make it up to her. Be that enabling her to have a fun day/night out with friends, spending quality time with her some other way, etc.

    I vividly remember being given a big family choice (way the fuck bigger than this) at 15. Knowing that it was my choice and my parents approached me that way about it stuck with me.

  16. #41
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Alpental
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    5,367
    Quote Originally Posted by jackattack View Post
    Kill two birds....
    The nest, well it be empty as of last weekend. Take them skiing.



    They may just thank you for it.
    Move upside and let the man go through...

  17. #42
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
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    The Cone of Uncertainty
    Posts
    46,770
    It's awesome that Eastern Mountain Sports digs you that much.

  18. #43
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
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    4,755
    Quote Originally Posted by Mofro261 View Post
    The nest, well it be empty as of last weekend. Take them skiing.



    They may just thank you for it.
    A letter like that and a hug from your kid are the best gift in the world in my opinion.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  19. #44
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Alpental
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    5,367
    Quote Originally Posted by iceman View Post
    It's awesome that Eastern Mountain Sports digs you that much.
    Yeah they cast a wide net, setting up shop in SLC next.
    Move upside and let the man go through...

  20. #45
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    NCW
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mofro261 View Post
    The nest, well it be empty as of last weekend. Take them skiing.

    They may just thank you for it.
    My birthday is the second week of March. I remember the birthdays at Snowbird with my dad the most.

  21. #46
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Bellevue
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    5,057
    Quote Originally Posted by Mofro261 View Post
    I'd go skiing, but I'd also bring my girl with me.
    I skied with mofro for my birthday this year. Would do it again

  22. #47
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    my own little world
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    2,348
    Quote Originally Posted by PNWbrit View Post
    Talk to your daughter?
    Well, that is the question. Bringing it up implies that I think itís ok. Like I said in my OP, my ex was offended that Iíd even consider it.

    Quote Originally Posted by AdironRider View Post
    Based on your reasoning (you personally don't care for making certain days a big deal and your annoyance with your ex), I think you are being selfish.

    I must be missing the sarcasm but I can't believe I'm the only one saying this.
    I own my selfishness, and I think itís healthy. What Iím doing here is getting a reality check on whether said selfishness is outside the lines before I ask my daughter how she feels about it.

    Quote Originally Posted by irul&ublo View Post
    And you didnít invite me? Iím hurt.


    OP....you do know that if you donít go to the party, the ex is gonna trash you to the kids
    Also a significant consideration. How much should that inform my decision?

    Quote Originally Posted by doebedoe View Post
    You're not an asshole for considering it. It's not a ski day -- it's a mostly paid for ski vacation for a week. It's a multi-thousand dollar bonus vs an afternoon buying cake and parents minor bitching at each other.

    You're only an asshole if you don't:

    1. Make it clear that it is absolutely her choice. How she reacts and chooses will do nothing more than tell you how you're doing as parents -- what values you're passing on to your kids.
    2. Get plans on the books to make it up to her. Be that enabling her to have a fun day/night out with friends, spending quality time with her some other way, etc.

    I vividly remember being given a big family choice (way the fuck bigger than this) at 15. Knowing that it was my choice and my parents approached me that way about it stuck with me.
    Nice. Thanks!
    focus.

  23. #48
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    14,791
    Quote Originally Posted by Mustonen View Post



    Also a significant consideration. How much should that inform my decision?
    Canít the ex trashing you work in your favor? Kids donít want to hear that and know better. Especially a 14 y/o.

  24. #49
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    No longer Alexandria, VA
    Posts
    1,100
    Doesn't sound like you're being an asshole (even if your ex thinks otherwise), maybe just talk to your kid and set up something before or after?

  25. #50
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Beaverton, OR
    Posts
    268
    30yrs from now:

    If you spent 0 days with your daughter you will wish you spent at least 1 more day
    If you spent 1000 days with your daughter you will wish you spent at least 1 more day
    If you spent 24/7 with your daughter you will wish you spent at least 1 more day

    Soooo....the 7 days on a ski trip will not be any different than the above.

    There are never enough days to go around. Accept it and live your life.

    IMHO

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