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  1. #76
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    Jun 2005
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    Check in: Am I being an asshole to skip a kidís bday for skiing?

    There is something about the importance of skiing perhaps being lost here. Talk to her about how important it is to you and why. Set a time to ski together. No one should feel guilty for wanting to ski. Not about someone else paying for it. It is about why it makes you happy.
    Uno mas

  2. #77
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
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    Idaho
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    I don’t have kids but make every effort to skip my girlfriend’s brother’s kid’s birthdays. I catch shit from her family sometimes for it. Then I remind them that I’m sure there will be future birthday party opportunities given the dipshit’s track record. Mom 1- 21, 18, and 15 year olds. Mom 2-4 year old. Mom 3-2 and <1 year olds. He met moms 2 and 3 on Cristian Mingles and had them each knocked up within a month of the first date. They were unaware of mom 3’s second pregnancy until she went in for an unrelated surgery that she ended up having to postpone. Moms 2&3 also have two kids of their own each from prior dads that sometimes end up at the birthday parties.

    After walking them down memory lane that is junior’s broad reaching branch of the ol’ family tree, I usually get a guilt free kitchen pass to go skiing.

    My girlfriend is adopted hence her being my lady.

    In conclusion, I have no real advice for you but you are also not posting your question on www.howtoparentgood.com.

  3. #78
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    Check in: Am I being an asshole to skip a kidís bday for skiing?

    So he has 6 kids from 3 different women and family gives a shit about what b-days you show up for? Skiing wins.
    Uno mas

  4. #79
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
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    I like the idea of setting up a special daddy/daughter day or trip in lieu of you being there on the actual day.

    One on one time with your kid at that age is priceless and will be increasingly rare. And it will likely piss off your ex...

    Only drawback is if you have more than one kid. ‘Cause now you gotta do the same with the others too. Not a bad thing just a financial commitment
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  5. #80
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    Oct 2005
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    Initially they cared. Now they understand that the fact that I’m gainfully employed unlike junior and chose not to have six kids with three moms means I shouldn’t have to give up over 10% of my annual weekends to go to Sizzler to watch great uncle George get shit faced on Budweiser because great grandma thinks it’s a good birthday tradition and also likes passing out the coupons she’s been saving up dictating what options you have for your meal.

    I wish I was making this shit up.

  6. #81
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    Holy shit. Oddly listening to a Phish show from ID at the moment. Reads like a fucked up situation. Extended family always distant to me......
    Uno mas

  7. #82
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    Oct 2005
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    Idaho
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    I could go on but I won’t. Maybe I’m the asshole but whenever I’m feeling down, I ask my gal how her brother is doing.

  8. #83
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    We are never assholes for wanting to ski.
    Uno mas

  9. #84
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    Oct 2003
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    Quote Originally Posted by hutash View Post
    Take the money you save on this trip and use it for a father daughter get away. A week or even a lo g weekend with just one on one dad/daughter time will make life long memories.
    Agreed.

    Quote Originally Posted by hutash View Post
    Father/daughter trips are the best, if for no other reason then the looks you get checking into a hotel
    My kid's half Chinese and looks a lot like her mom. We received more than a few looks when she was a teen and we went to Disneyland or something. Unfortunately, she also acts a lot like me- we get kinda stupid, sometimes, when we're together.
    °”rale, vato!

  10. #85
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    Mar 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by glademaster View Post
    Go skiing. From about the age of 12 onward, anytime my birthday rolled around and "happy birthday" wishes were bestowed in my general direction, my default response was to shrug and quote Pink Floyd: "shorter of breath, and one day closer to death." Still my go-to reply to "happy birthday."
    They gave you shorts for your birthday, didnít they?
    I still call it The Jake.

  11. #86
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    Quote Originally Posted by Conundrum View Post
    Initially they cared. Now they understand that the fact that I’m gainfully employed unlike junior and chose not to have six kids with three moms means I shouldn’t have to give up over 10% of my annual weekends to go to Sizzler to watch great uncle George get shit faced on Budweiser because great grandma thinks it’s a good birthday tradition and also likes passing out the coupons she’s been saving up dictating what options you have for your meal.

    I wish I was making this shit up.
    Yeah...... whoo boy.
    Kindness is a bridge between all people

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  12. #87
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    Jun 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viva View Post
    Agreed.



    My kid's half Chinese and looks a lot like her mom. We received more than a few looks when she was a teen and we went to Disneyland or something. Unfortunately, she also acts a lot like me- we get kinda stupid, sometimes, when we're together.
    Nothing wrong with looking stupid as long as you are having fun.

    Met my exchange daughter in. St Anton Austira. (she's Austiran) several years after she lived with us..Raised a few eyebrows, but we had a good time and it was just before her wedding that summer so we had a special time together. Having daughters, whether biological or through AFS is pretty cool.

    I agree it is a constitutional right for Americans to be assholes...its just too bad that so many take the opportunity...
    iscariot

  13. #88
    Join Date
    Nov 2017
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    1,285
    If you were being an asshole you'd just bail on her altogether so, no.

    Asking in here was a questionable move though.

    Seriously. tell her the whole deal and ask her what she wants; maybe find out her feelings on birthdays/holidays. And as mentioned earlier she may well prefer a different event with you. Mo betta just the 2 of ya.
    Let her feel important for making a decision that works for everyone's relationship.

    I got no kids, but I was one once. So there's that.

  14. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by tbssux View Post
    That strategy would have helped flowing alpy. He skipped his daughter's birth (not birthday) to go day skiing.
    Hey fucker, clearly you showing yourself the door didnít work...

    Your continued harassment of flowing has far eclipsed anything heís done here that might be considered objectionable.

    Common mods do your fucking jobs and ban this piece of shit.

    Yeah, thatís right, Iím pissed.
    Alpental Indigenous

  15. #90
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    Mar 2014
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    513
    Quote Originally Posted by ACH View Post
    Hey fucker, clearly you showing yourself the door didnít work...

    Your continued harassment of flowing has far eclipsed anything heís done here that might be considered objectionable.

    Common mods do your fucking jobs and ban this piece of shit.

    Yeah, thatís right, Iím pissed.
    It's all good. I'll head back out the door. And Bobo bragged about missing his kids birth. I'm just reiterating what he wrote (and helping OP keep perspective...missing one bday for a week long mostly paid ski trip is nothing compared to missing her actual birth for one day on the pass). Fuck you, fuck you, you're cool. I'm out.

  16. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by Conundrum View Post
    Initially they cared. Now they understand that the fact that I’m gainfully employed unlike junior and chose not to have six kids with three moms means I shouldn’t have to give up over 10% of my annual weekends to go to Sizzler to watch great uncle George get shit faced on Budweiser because great grandma thinks it’s a good birthday tradition and also likes passing out the coupons she’s been saving up dictating what options you have for your meal.

    I wish I was making this shit up.
    Can’t they do that in the evening...like after skiing?

  17. #92
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    Dec 2012
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    Quote Originally Posted by BmillsSkier View Post
    They gave you shorts for your birthday, didn’t they?
    Name:  2bce3fa384d9675328b5c103e18c5954.jpg
Views: 183
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    "timberridge is terminally vapid" -- a fortune cookie in Yueyang

  18. #93
    mtngirl79 is online now accidentally awesome at times
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    Quote Originally Posted by ACH View Post
    Hey fucker, clearly you showing yourself the door didn’t work...

    Your continued harassment of flowing has far eclipsed anything he’s done here that might be considered objectionable.

    Common mods do your fucking jobs and ban this piece of shit.

    Yeah, that’s right, I’m pissed.
    The amount of shit flowing had/has been given is minor by TGR standards and a thread got deleted and flowing left over it.

    It's not really fair to allow some people to be relentlessly bullied and not others. Nobody typed anything at flowing that's far out of line compared to what has been tolerated at others.

  19. #94
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    Like you?

  20. #95
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    Oct 2003
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    Quote Originally Posted by Conundrum View Post
    I donít have kids but make every effort to skip my girlfriendís brotherís kidís birthdays. I catch shit from her family sometimes for it. Then I remind them that Iím sure there will be future birthday party opportunities given the dipshitís track record. Mom 1- 21, 18, and 15 year olds. Mom 2-4 year old. Mom 3-2 and <1 year olds. He met moms 2 and 3 on Cristian Mingles and had them each knocked up within a month of the first date. They were unaware of mom 3ís second pregnancy until she went in for an unrelated surgery that she ended up having to postpone. Moms 2&3 also have two kids of their own each from prior dads that sometimes end up at the birthday parties.
    Quote Originally Posted by Conundrum View Post
    Initially they cared. Now they understand that the fact that Iím gainfully employed unlike junior and chose not to have six kids with three moms means I shouldnít have to give up over 10% of my annual weekends to go to Sizzler to watch great uncle George get shit faced on Budweiser because great grandma thinks itís a good birthday tradition and also likes passing out the coupons sheís been saving up dictating what options you have for your meal.

    I wish I was making this shit up.


    Let's do some livin'
    After, we die

  21. #96
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    Jan 2014
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    Gaperville, CO
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    You are an asshole if you don't tell us how it all works out.

  22. #97
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    Oct 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by ill-advised strategy View Post
    Can’t they do that in the evening...like after skiing?
    Grandpa is 400+ pounds and recently was diagnosed with the diabetes. Grandma is four years post kidney transplant, very arthritic, and also recently diagnosed with the diabetes. They spend their days between learning a new diet, shuffling their son's kids around, making doc appointments and for excitement, like to spice their world up with monthly ER visits while they figure out their meds which has been going on years now. They're usually too tired in the evening to do much.

    Son went back to school as a 40 year old by taking out student loans to get a K-12 PE teaching cert. I forgot to mention he met a 23 year old in class, proposed, she said yes, then started hanging out with the family and his kids and then said no. Tried teaching for awhile but didn't like it so he quit. Now he's busy during the week "looking for jobs". This has also been going on for a few years. He is now living in a house with mom 3 and 1-5 kids depending who has custody at the time. The grandparents took a second mortgage on their own home to provide him while doing all this on teachers' pensions.

    They are all very Christian and god has a plan for them so make sure to go to church every Sunday. "It's really convenient for everyone" to meet at Sizzlers for lunch and uncle George's Budweisers after church. Then we go to great grandma's house for expired ice cream that she found in the chest freezer in the garage. You wouldn't think it would expire in a deep freeze but apparently back in the 80's, Albertson's had a really good sale and she stockpiled. Good thing too, because they do birthday parties not only for the kids, but every family member of every age within a 150 mile radius and attendance is expected.

    My only gripe is my GF and I out of her entire local family, are the only two with jobs and hobbies. I think b-day parties and every other G-Dam holiday out there is their hobbies and those will be celebrated on Sundays. Other than the black sheep uncle George, none of them drink because it's bad for your health. Honestly, if I were in the health state of any of them, I'd probably just start heroine.

    So, I go ski during the winter parties and the GF is 50/50 on skiing or b-day parties. Like I mentioned earlier, my gal was adopted and I've seen the proof. If there was an inkling of trickle down DNA, she'd have been to the curb long before I found feelings for her.

    No, we're not planning on any inheritance from that side.

    Back to the OP's question...I have no advice but I don't have a problem skipping kid's b-days but I don't have one of my own.

  23. #98
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    Dec 2003
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    Seattle
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    Quote Originally Posted by Conundrum View Post
    I don’t have kids but make every effort to skip my girlfriend’s brother’s kid’s birthdays.
    She sounds like a keeper.
    Quote Originally Posted by Downbound Train View Post
    And there will come a day when our ancestors look back...........

  24. #99
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    Oct 2003
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    Big in Japan
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    My birthday is right next to Thanksgiving, so I've been throwing my own party for some time now by going to Europe at that time and having a first class meal on that day, and killing two birds by avoiding Thanksgiving family clusterfucks.

    Let's do some livin'
    After, we die

  25. #100
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    Mar 2006
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    14,791
    Quote Originally Posted by Benny Profane View Post
    having a first class meal on that day,
    I suspect you tell the waiter it's your birthday?

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