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  1. #1
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    Royal Caribbean/cruise rant

    So first cruise here. Father in law guessed we should all go on a "vacation". Ok he footing the bill, mostly (get to that later). Royal Caribbean allure of the Seas.

    First off this was booked a year ago. I have never even remotely liked the idea of a cruise. I'm a resort guy, all inclusive style. I was apprehensive about the motion of the boat, quickly dispelled. I was a bit unnerved about not seeing land for days at a time (that didn't go away). The ports are tourist traps. The excursions way over priced, and the onboard services kinda suck imho. 6000 people locked on the ocean. 3 pools that are small, so when at sea and everyone on boat you literally get 2.5ft of space to "swim". FIL didn't go all in so no drinks, I paid for flight from NY to Florida. Paying for tips on ship, so this is far from a free vacation and with what I'm out of pocket I could've had a vacation I actually wanted. Limited kids stuff. If you're into "shows" there are plenty, but kids? Not really into it. Pools close at like 9pm. Wall to wall people on at sea days. No escape.

    So cruise is St Kitts, San Juan, and Nassau Bahamas. Orig schedule 1 yr ago was no San Juan but at Thomas, but due to engine issues san Juan was the pick. So you all know the crap I'm San Juan. Day before we docked 2 other royal Caribbean ships diverted and didn't go for "passenger safety", yet a day later we dock there? My safety isn't important? View off boat and reports from others. CNN on dock, police everywhere (visible from ship) graffiti and broken windows abound. 6 ship docks, we were the only ship there. The entire stay was 7am to 1pm. Fucking bullshit.

    The staff is great. That's the only plus. Didn't get drink package day one so you're fucked. Just didn't think I could consume $800 in booze between me and the wife in 8 days. Oh there's 18% tacked onto that $800 as well.

    There's more but I have to go pretend I'm enjoying myself even though I am in hell.

    Sorry for the rant and random paragraphs.

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  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    slc
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    10,440
    Quote Originally Posted by Skidog View Post
    I have never even remotely liked the idea of a cruise. I'm a resort guy, all inclusive style.
    [/chortle]

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    PRB
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    I'm not normally a stickler for grammar and spelling and shit, but that was really hard to read. Overall impression: you're on a cruise and not happy. Details? I have no idea.
    "fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
    "She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    As long as no one is shooting at you or trying to blow you up its easy.
    watch out for snakes

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    5,183
    All I took from this is you are a lightweight if you don't think 2 people could blow through 50 bucks a day each on booze while on vacation.
    Live Free or Die

  6. #6
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    Magically whisked away to...Delaware
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    Don't look a gift horse in the mouth!
    It makes perfect sense...until you think about it.

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  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
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    1,287
    You just took one for the team and hopefully you can get a few get out of jail passes for your troubles. I have passed on attending the annual "family reunion" for the wife's family after 18 years and it's a glorious week to myself at home.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    2,546
    Did this same kinda thing a few years ago with the in-laws (they paid for the cruise) NOT a cruise guy and not going back.

    Snorkel day trips were good though.


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    Keystone is fucking lame. But, deadly.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    truckee
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    10,577
    I did an Alaskan cruise, last of the season so the sea got pretty heavy. The people we were assigned to eat dinner with never made it to dinner the last night. Some of the excursions were cool--whale watching, kayaking in some very heavy seas where if anyone had flipped they would have died (no one flipped). We were supposed to helicopter to ice climb on a glacier but it was canceled. They said weather--I think they took a look at the average weight of the passengers and decided the helicopter couldn't handle it;
    I won't do another cruise, but I'm glad to have seen the Inside Passage.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
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    4,969
    Life is hard and tough.

    Keep your head up kid, it gets better.


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  11. #11
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
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    5,980
    Quote Originally Posted by Dantheman View Post
    [/chortle]
    For some asinine reason...it was cheap and my wife wanted to go on vacation around the holidays...we went to an inclusive resort in Mexico. She hated it more than I did. "It is like a cruise without the boat".

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    Cruise = Floating Chinese Buffet
    Samuel L. Jackson as Jules Winnfield: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration?

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    At the beach
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    11,662
    Quote Originally Posted by Foggy_Goggles View Post
    For some asinine reason...it was cheap and my wife wanted to go on vacation around the holidays...we went to an inclusive resort in Mexico. She hated it more than I did. "It is like a cruise without the boat".
    We were gifted an all inclusive week in MX once and it wasn't that much fun, as there was little to do but drink. On the other hand we did a few Club Med holidays that were the best as there was so much to do each day. So maybe activities are the secret to vacation bliss? 8 days on a boat would likely bore me to tears.
    Quote Originally Posted by leroy jenkins View Post
    I think you'd have an easier time understanding people if you remembered that 80% of them are fucking morons.
    That is why I like dogs, more than most people.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
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    Nothing excites me about cruises other than the endless seafood buffet. And nothing frightens me more either, except maybe icebergs but they'll all be gone soon enough.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    May 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by liv2ski View Post
    We were gifted an all inclusive week in MX once and it wasn't that much fun, as there was little to do but drink. On the other hand we did a few Club Med holidays that were the best as there was so much to do each day. So maybe activities are the secret to vacation bliss? 8 days on a boat would likely bore me to tears.
    It does and when I say all inclusive think club med style. All activities included. 18 hole golf free scuba free snorkel free. Then add the fact that I can, if I choose, leave the resort and explore the island. Cruise? Not so much.

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  16. #16
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    i’d rather be sober on Maui than drunk at sea.
    bF
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  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by AdironRider View Post
    All I took from this is you are a lightweight if you don't think 2 people could blow through 50 bucks a day each on booze while on vacation.
    Not really interested in dealing with my kids all day hungover. I did mention there are no real activities for youngish kids, so mom and dad are the "entertainment" makes it all the more relaxing.

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  18. #18
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
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    515
    Quote Originally Posted by SkiBall View Post
    except maybe icebergs but they'll all be gone soon enough.
    Added "bonus" more sea to cruise!

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skidog View Post
    So first cruise here. Father in law guessed we should all go on a "vacation". Ok he footing the bill, mostly (get to that later). Royal Caribbean allure of the Seas.

    First off this was booked a year ago. I have never even remotely liked the idea of a cruise. I'm a resort guy, all inclusive style. I was apprehensive about the motion of the boat, quickly dispelled. I was a bit unnerved about not seeing land for days at a time (that didn't go away). The ports are tourist traps. The excursions way over priced, and the onboard services kinda suck imho. 6000 people locked on the ocean. 3 pools that are small, so when at sea and everyone on boat you literally get 2.5ft of space to "swim". FIL didn't go all in so no drinks, I paid for flight from NY to Florida. Paying for tips on ship, so this is far from a free vacation and with what I'm out of pocket I could've had a vacation I actually wanted. Limited kids stuff. If you're into "shows" there are plenty, but kids? Not really into it. Pools close at like 9pm. Wall to wall people on at sea days. No escape.

    So cruise is St Kitts, San Juan, and Nassau Bahamas. Orig schedule 1 yr ago was no San Juan but at Thomas, but due to engine issues san Juan was the pick. So you all know the crap I'm San Juan. Day before we docked 2 other royal Caribbean ships diverted and didn't go for "passenger safety", yet a day later we dock there? My safety isn't important? View off boat and reports from others. CNN on dock, police everywhere (visible from ship) graffiti and broken windows abound. 6 ship docks, we were the only ship there. The entire stay was 7am to 1pm. Fucking bullshit.

    The staff is great. That's the only plus. Didn't get drink package day one so you're fucked. Just didn't think I could consume $800 in booze between me and the wife in 8 days. Oh there's 18% tacked onto that $800 as well.

    There's more but I have to go pretend I'm enjoying myself even though I am in hell.

    Sorry for the rant and random paragraphs.

    Sent from my Pixel 2 using TGR Forums mobile app
    Protip #1 - ALWAYS GET THE UNLIMITED DRINK PACKAGE. Yes, they cut you off for the day after 15-20 drinks, but at that point you should be ok.
    Protip #2 - If you fail at protip #1, make a friendship with someone who followed rule #1. Get them to buy you drinks.
    Fat fuck bubbas are not erosion.

  20. #20
    Join Date
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    Seattle
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    Quote Originally Posted by flowing alpy View Post
    i’d rather be sober on Maui than drunk at sea.
    I'm glad he's in the Caribbean than even further crowding Seattle.


    At one point last week there were four of them there at once.

    Quote Originally Posted by DJSapp View Post
    Protip #1
    Never, ever go on a cruise.
    Quote Originally Posted by Downbound Train View Post
    And there will come a day when our ancestors look back...........

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
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    Quote Originally Posted by flowing alpy View Post
    id rather be sober on Maui than drunk at sea.
    That there is pure gold

  22. #22
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    Dec 2009
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    I think a dispensary on a cruise line would do a steady business.

  23. #23
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by old goat View Post
    I did an Alaskan cruise, last of the season so the sea got pretty heavy. The people we were assigned to eat dinner with never made it to dinner the last night. Some of the excursions were cool--whale watching, kayaking in some very heavy seas where if anyone had flipped they would have died (no one flipped). We were supposed to helicopter to ice climb on a glacier but it was canceled. They said weather--I think they took a look at the average weight of the passengers and decided the helicopter couldn't handle it;
    I won't do another cruise, but I'm glad to have seen the Inside Passage.
    I've bike toured up the panhandle and IMO any town where the cruise ships go sucked and the places that havent got the dock are still cool
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    Where bankers' bankers breed
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    Quote Originally Posted by Foggy_Goggles View Post
    For some asinine reason...it was cheap and my wife wanted to go on vacation around the holidays...we went to an inclusive resort in Mexico. She hated it more than I did. "It is like a cruise without the boat".
    Depends on which resort you go to. Hyatt Ziva Cancun is great.
    All the years combine
    they melt into a dream

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    Where bankers' bankers breed
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJSapp View Post
    Protip #1 - ALWAYS GET THE UNLIMITED DRINK PACKAGE. Yes, they cut you off for the day after 15-20 drinks, but at that point you should be ok.
    Protip #2 - If you fail at protip #1, make a friendship with someone who followed rule #1. Get them to buy you drinks.
    Was just about to write #1 above.

    And yes, cruising is not everyone's cup of tea. We finance the ships so I've done my fair share of cruising (but never have had to pay for it myself).
    All the years combine
    they melt into a dream

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