Bet She Didn't See That Coming

[KQ]

Oy vey!



Woman fatally impaled through eye, brain after falling on her drink's metal straw

BOURNEMOUTH, England — This story is not for the faint of heart.

A woman was fatally impaled through both the eye and brain after falling onto her drink's metal straw in England, according to USA Today.

Our source says 60-year-old Elena Struthers-Gardner was carrying a mason-jar style glass with a screw-top lid in her kitchen when she collapsed.

It was then the 10-inch stainless steel straw went into her left eye socket and pierced her brain. They say her cause of death was traumatic brain injury.

Assistant coroner Brendan Allen released this statement in regards to the incident:

"Clearly great care should be taken when using these metal straws. There is no give in them at all. If someone does fall on one and it’s pointed in the wrong direction, serious injury can occur.

It seems to me these metal straws should not be used with any form of lid that holds them in place. It seems the main problem here is if the lid hadn’t been in place the straw would have moved away.”

[SB]

Haha, see it coming.

[Benny Profane]

Yeah, dangerous, every time I've fallen on a plastic straw, like, right in my eyeball, no whoop.

[iceman]

That sucks.

[redacted user]

Yeah, dangerous, every time I've fallen on a plastic straw, like, right in my eyeball, no whoop.

Bahahahahaha

[skiballs]

Was her name Camille?

[Todd Zander]

all in favor of banning metal straws say "eye"

[Timberridge]

It's the price we pay for clean oceans.

[SB]

All straws evil, ban them.

No one needs a high capacity straw.

[bendtheski]

Trying to support her own argument?

[old goat]

I hadn't realized that drinking out of mason jars had made it to England. I thought they had more class than that. Of course they also have Boris Johnson, so I guess not.

[riser4]

I hadn't realized that drinking out of mason jars had made it to England. I thought they had more class than that. Of course they also have Boris Johnson, so I guess not.

Ouch.

[buttahflake]

Adults drink from straws?
Huh

[redacted user]

She was just doing her part to reduce her carbon footprint. Admirable, really.

[Benny Profane]

Adults drink from straws?
Huh

Not a big smoothie fan, right?

[buttahflake]

Not a big smoothie fan, right?

Never had one, drinking calories is stupid.

[::: :::]

i dunno...i'm thinking she collapsed because the mason jar was too heavy -- too many people focusing on the straw...

[redacted user]

Never had one, drinking calories is stupid.

I thought you like heady beer and whatnot.

[Todd Zander]

it would be stupid if you didnt always take laps to burn off said calories

[buttahflake]

I thought you like heady beer and whatnot.

Quit drinking on January 1st.

[buttahflake]

ever had a slurpee?

Nope, ever had a Cleveland Steamer?

We don’t have 7/11 out here.
I had a shit-ton of Slush Puppies, when I was a kid. Straws are for the children.
I grew up in Massachusetts, they were huge in the 70’s and 80’s.
https://www.google.com/search?q=slus...ejVQTEHE0iS4mM

[mud]

buttahflake suks the <3” straw.