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  1. #26
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
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    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    11,676
    Quote Originally Posted by TBS View Post
    OP, You haven’t been married long, amirite?
    If you want to get out of this, just do a really shitty job of it.
    If writing to old people, just go with “Yo! Thanks for the [gift]. You rock!”
    If a long-form note:
    - Write like you have no clue who they are
    - Damn the gift with faint praise. Describe what you wished you would have received (new boots, paddle, parts for bike)
    - Complain about not getting any because of moms giant front bumper. Ask the ladies if they would help you out.

    Then run them by the wife for review before sending. She’ll decide to do them herself than risk the havoc you might unleash
    This is good marital advice in general. I started to enthusiastically fold our towels and sheets very “incorrectly” right from the get go. Now I never have to fold them ever again.

    Every few months I will conspicuously start to fold a towel around her which resets the whole thing again.

  2. #27
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    here and there
    Posts
    18,558
    I have written a few TYs lately for the nice ladies who have been helping me thru the retirement process.
    watch out for snakes

  3. #28
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
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    betwixt the Silvers and Saint Johns
    Posts
    538
    Quote Originally Posted by old goat View Post
    I'm still waiting for a thanks from our friends' kid to whom I sent a go-fund-me donation after he was displaced by the Camp Fire. The first and almost certainly the last go fund me contribution I'll ever send, so kid--it wasn't really me you fucked over, it's the next person who needs $.
    I dunno, a kid displaced by that true hell gets a pass imho- it's not like a class trip to Disneyland

  4. #29
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
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    betwixt the Silvers and Saint Johns
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    538
    Quote Originally Posted by SB View Post
    I have written a few TYs lately for the nice ladies who have been helping me thru the retirement process.
    *snort*

  5. #30
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Location
    In a van... down by the river
    Posts
    13,532
    My eldest just graduated from HS, and probably would agree with the OP's assertion.

  6. #31
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Fort Front Range
    Posts
    1,617
    I have relatives who are still angry with me for not getting thank you notes from my wedding in 1992.


    They probably deserve a thank you note for shunning me all these years.

  7. #32
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    Before
    Posts
    27,877
    Thank you emails is as close as I get and only when I mean it.

    In any case, anything in that vein is better than trying to write obituaries.
    Merde De Glace On the Freak When Ski
    >>>200 cm Black Bamboo Sidewalled DPS Lotus 120 : Best Skis Ever <<<

  8. #33
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    290
    Quote Originally Posted by old goat View Post
    I'm still waiting for a thanks from our friends' kid to whom I sent a go-fund-me donation after he was displaced by the Camp Fire. The first and almost certainly the last go fund me contribution I'll ever send, so kid--it wasn't really me you fucked over, it's the next person who needs $.
    Give the kid a break. I have been through loss similar to that. At that time, almost all of my mental energy was focused on trying to get out of the situation, take care of my family and bring back some normalcy. It fucks with your head. I would suggest checking in with him. The initial shock may have worn off but the long game can be even harder. I recall feeling extremely worn down from fighting all the fucking time to get ahead, feeling isolated, etc. It took me years to get back on my feet.

    Of course I say this without knowing the kids situation. Maybe you don't either.

  9. #34
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    33,538
    Make the baby write them.
    Quote Originally Posted by Downbound Train View Post
    And there will come a day when our ancestors look back...........

  10. #35
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Last Best City in the Last Best Place
    Posts
    7,237
    Quote Originally Posted by Tele 'til You're Smelly View Post
    I dunno, a kid displaced by that true hell gets a pass imho- it's not like a class trip to Disneyland
    This. I've contributed to dozens of go-fund-me's and never expected or gotten a thank you. These are people who are in trouble have much more important stuff on their mind. I don't expect any sort of acknowledgment for helping them--I would rather they spend their energy putting their life back together as best they can.

  11. #36
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Location
    MA
    Posts
    121
    Just wait until you have to get the kid to write thank yous.

  12. #37
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    truckee
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    23,081
    Quote Originally Posted by papapoopski View Post

    Of course I say this without knowing the kids situation. Maybe you don't either.
    I do. There's more to it that I won't bore you with, but I stand by my position. I was solicited by his mom and I never heard from her either.

    I've given money to the wives of 2 patrollers killed on the job (before crowd funding existed)--those I certainly didn't expect to hear from (not people I knew personally).

    This is not a generational thing either--I've gotten plenty of thank you notes from Gen X, Y, and Z (I think, I get my generations mixed up).

    Now the tradition of bringing a bottle--usually wine--to dinner I could do without. Some friends and us have been trading the same bottle back and forth a few times. Not on purpose--we forgot where it came from, they forgot they'd given it to us once before. I'd prefer reciprocal invitations and skip the wine, but I'm in the minority on that one. Bringing us wine makes me feel like they're paying for their dinner, when it's their company that we want, the food is just an excuse.

  13. #38
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    águila
    Posts
    1,114
    The only thing worse than writing thank you's is licking envelopes.

  14. #39
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    19,147
    Licking envelopes and smelling diesel are two small pleasures of my life.

  15. #40
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    truckee
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    23,081
    Quote Originally Posted by MakersTeleMark View Post
    Licking envelopes and smelling diesel are two small pleasures of my life.
    I have some left over spray paint you can have for the cost of postage--shoot me a PM.

  16. #41
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Shuswap Highlands
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    4,336
    Quote Originally Posted by old goat View Post
    I lost the card that came with a wedding gift so that person never got a thank you note. It still bugs me 35 years later.
    Fuck, is reading TGR ever poignant tonight. There’s two I know I missed.

    Quote Originally Posted by berko View Post
    I have relatives who are still angry with me for not getting thank you notes from my wedding in 1992.


    They probably deserve a thank you note for shunning me all these years.
    But Thanks, cause this is for one of them!

  17. #42
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Not in the PRB
    Posts
    32,689
    I don't care about thank you notes (as in handwritten and mailed), but I am sometimes truly amazed at people who don't even say/email "thank you" when you go out of your way to help them.

    Examples:
    • Someone sends an email at work to everyone asking for information/assistance/referrals, and you send a reply to them with a referral or information. A simple "Thanks!" email is all that is required, yet many don't even bother. This boggles my mind. When I ask for this type of info, I make sure to respond to every single person (most of whom I don't know).
    • I was a mentor for a 3rd year law student. Now, over time we had a lot of back and forth and he did say thanks in many of those correspondences for the advice I offered. But the last time I heard from him, he gave me an update and sent a resume and cover letter asking for my review and advice. I read them and marked them up with edits and comments, and never heard from him again.
    • Someone posts a thread asking for help or advice, then disappears, never to return and acknowledge the help posted.
    "fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
    "She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin
    "everybody's got their hooks into you, fuck em....forge on motherfuckers, drag all those bitches across the goal line with you." - (not so) ill-advised strategy

  18. #43
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    19,147
    An old-school mag pm'd me for some legal advice for which he could find no lawyer to assist, and would really affect his day-to-day life.

    I laid out his do-it-yourself strategy for him and got a heartfelt thanks.

    Totally forgot about it, and he pm'd me the other day, said he followed the plan, got an excellent result, and had something he wanted to ship to me.

    There is hope, at least in the maggotverse.

  19. #44
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Truckee, CA
    Posts
    8,768
    Quote Originally Posted by Tips^Up View Post
    The only thing worse than writing thank you's is licking envelopes.
    Yeah, just ask Susan Ross...
    "Man, we killin' elephants in the back yard..."

    https://www.blizzard-tecnica.com/us/en

  20. #45
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    2,759
    the whole baby shower/wedding shower/wedding gift thing is a load of crap
    so are the corresponding notes
    what's orange and looks good on hippies?
    fire

    rails are for trains
    If I had a dollar for every time capitalism was blamed for problems caused by the government I'd be a rich fat film maker in a baseball hat.

    www.theguideshut.ca

  21. #46
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    The Cone of Uncertainty
    Posts
    49,306
    ooh, drama

    I would think if someone offers to buy you beers someday for a ticket, and you say cool and send the ticket, they don't owe you any more thanks than that. Wait for your beers.

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