The Vent Thread, reasonable or being an asshole?

[Woodsy]

There's this dystopian feel to real life vs. the simulation [screen time on laptop, desktop, phone, TV] where the latter is curated to our specific tastes and the former is dramatically less so. And so the entrenched sense of entitlement that accompanies strong engagement with the simulated life manifests in extreme displeasure with real life, particularly when a situation deviates from our selfish prescriptions. But the problem is rooted in allowing ourselves to conflate relative degrees of control between the simulation (where our level of control is extremely high) and real life (where it's much more muted). The contrasting level of power/control breeds internal conflict via the "WTF WHY AREN'T PEOPLE DOING WHAT I WANT THEM TO DO" line of thought. When in reality, the problem is letting your simulation mindset carry over without actively adjusting expectations.

fancy way of assigning modern expectations to a very old problem summed up nicely here:

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference

[wooley12]

Think this goes here

[Danno]

Kroger is like that. Better to stick with the Pube Licks. Plus, your Publix money goes towards paying for part of my ski trips, so win win. We refer to them as the Hillbilly Billionaires down here.

Un Bun- you were right. Fuck those people. Probably a better way to handle it, but I haven't found one. What is with these dimwits expecting an apology for a call out? If someone calls me out, and I am truly at fault, that is my time to own that shit and learn. I honestly think 90% of the population is walking around completely brain dead, only thinking, " Me, me, me, me, how do I take care of ME? What is best for ME?"

Funny(ish) story. We showed up once, totally on time for our flight, like 1.5 hours early. We check luggage, and do the TSA shit, and I get in line for coffee at Starbucks. 3/4 of the way through the line, I hear our flight mentioned on the PA. I don't think much about it, stupidly. Get to cashier and order, and I hear my last name called over the PA. WTF? Flight had been bumped up an hour or so, and they did not inform us.

We were the last ones on the flight, South fucking West, no assigned seats. 2 kids, a dog in a carrier, the whole deal. Here comes my borderline yuppie/ Patagucci ass strolling down the lane with a fresh hot coffee and a 15 lb Boston Terrier in a soft case. Yup, I was the asshole that day. Totally owned it. My wife informed most of the plane that, unless they wanted to attend to our 2 and 4 year old, someone was gonna have to move a bit. Yup, she went there. I was both proud and nauseated. We were THAT family, in all our glory. We owned it. Any glare I received I met with," They didn't tell us the flight time changed. Sorry. Sometimes it is your turn to be the asshole", or something like that. They all thought I was hysterical. I could tell. Good news was, it was a flight to CT to visit my family, so no one really was surprised.

Moral of the story? Sometimes it is your turn to be the asshole. Handle it, own it, and hope you don't get shot over it.

when I read posts like this, I get annoyed that TGR doesn't have a "like" button.

[old goat]

Kroger is like that. Better to stick with the Pube Licks. Plus, your Publix money goes towards paying for part of my ski trips, so win win. We refer to them as the Hillbilly Billionaires down here.

Un Bun- you were right. Fuck those people. Probably a better way to handle it, but I haven't found one. What is with these dimwits expecting an apology for a call out? If someone calls me out, and I am truly at fault, that is my time to own that shit and learn. I honestly think 90% of the population is walking around completely brain dead, only thinking, " Me, me, me, me, how do I take care of ME? What is best for ME?"

Funny(ish) story. We showed up once, totally on time for our flight, like 1.5 hours early. We check luggage, and do the TSA shit, and I get in line for coffee at Starbucks. 3/4 of the way through the line, I hear our flight mentioned on the PA. I don't think much about it, stupidly. Get to cashier and order, and I hear my last name called over the PA. WTF? Flight had been bumped up an hour or so, and they did not inform us.

We were the last ones on the flight, South fucking West, no assigned seats. 2 kids, a dog in a carrier, the whole deal. Here comes my borderline yuppie/ Patagucci ass strolling down the lane with a fresh hot coffee and a 15 lb Boston Terrier in a soft case. Yup, I was the asshole that day. Totally owned it. My wife informed most of the plane that, unless they wanted to attend to our 2 and 4 year old, someone was gonna have to move a bit. Yup, she went there. I was both proud and nauseated. We were THAT family, in all our glory. We owned it. Any glare I received I met with," They didn't tell us the flight time changed. Sorry. Sometimes it is your turn to be the asshole", or something like that. They all thought I was hysterical. I could tell. Good news was, it was a flight to CT to visit my family, so no one really was surprised.

Moral of the story? Sometimes it is your turn to be the asshole. Handle it, own it, and hope you don't get shot over it.

You did it wrong. When I traveled on SW with my 3 year old I made a point of being last to board, he sat in one row I sat in another. Worked out very well for both of us. It's never too early to teach your kids independence and teach yourself not to helicopter. Plus if I told my kid not to kick the seat in front of him he would ignore me. If a stranger in the next seat told him he would obey. He also would run up and down the aisles. The flight attendants didn't seem to mind, too much. (Also when the kids ate at friends house they would happily eat stuff they wouldn't eat at home.)

[BmillsSkier]

eyes on the prize - eyes on the prize

Damn straight. It was fish taco night.

[Woodsy]

Sure, but that misses the whole dynamic of digital life pushing expectations even further out of alignment with reality. Understanding religious philosophy is one thing and getting your head around this part-real, part-sim life we all lead is another entirely.

Wasnt trying to be religious. Same thing I tell my son all the time dont get upset about what ( and who) you cant change.

And not to dust off my philosophy degree but we have been living in a part-real, part-sim life since we became conscious beings. What we perceive is real aint necessarily so, at least not how we think it is. Also expectations vs reality is one of the defining points of "happiness" no matter what shapes either.


& fk this is thread drift even for this place.

[FLS]

@bromontane

Maybe.

The more things change, the more they stay the same could be said.

[RShea]

I have pulled off the road for a car wash or long gas line and if that is the only spot and it looks like I am queued up then they could be wrong as then I would wait until the stall emptied and motion the other in the front if they wanted to get into that next spot...

[EZB]

I was in the supermarket when they opened a new line. I was closest to the front of the other line except for the ones in front of me who already put their groceries on the belt, so the new cashier tapped my shoulder to specifically bring me (and of course unspecifically any of those behind me who cared, to his new line).

Everybody followed like a normal human, except the asshole right behind me who thought it would be cool to break into a sprint or something. Me and the cashier would have none of it, but he was so ticked at me for having the audacity to bring it up, that he acted like he needed to rest his hand on the credit card terminal that allows us to like...pay and move on, and allow the line to proceed</serenity now>

Unrelated to the thread, but what's up with the morons who form the line that blocks the grocery aisle EVEN AFTER you've already formed a 90-degree bend in the line to prevent that? Once I swear the lady was gonna try to climb up on the cereal box end cap she was so averse to anything but straight.

[warthog]

The best part of this is I can totally picture this. Your wife isn't that self privileged she just has absolutely no problem calling it exactly how it is!

It is her superpower. She can totally tell someone to get fucked, and they think she is complimenting them. It's a southern thing. I tend to go more New England on the situation, which barely even works in New England.

[mall walker]

I was in the supermarket when they opened a new line. I was closest to the front of the other line except for the ones in front of me who already put their groceries on the belt, so the new cashier tapped my shoulder to specifically bring me (and of course unspecifically any of those behind me who cared, to his new line).

Everybody followed like a normal human, except the asshole right behind me who thought it would be cool to break into a sprint or something. Me and the cashier would have none of it, but he was so ticked at me for having the audacity to bring it up, that he acted like he needed to rest his hand on the credit card terminal that allows us to like...pay and move on, and allow the line to proceed</serenity now>

lol getting angry just imagining this

[mtngirl79]

I was in the supermarket when they opened a new line. I was closest to the front of the other line except for the ones in front of me who already put their groceries on the belt, so the new cashier tapped my shoulder to specifically bring me (and of course unspecifically any of those behind me who cared, to his new line).

Everybody followed like a normal human, except the asshole right behind me who thought it would be cool to break into a sprint or something. Me and the cashier would have none of it, but he was so ticked at me for having the audacity to bring it up, that he acted like he needed to rest his hand on the credit card terminal that allows us to like...pay and move on, and allow the line to proceed</serenity now>

Unrelated to the thread, but what's up with the morons who form the line that blocks the grocery aisle EVEN AFTER you've already formed a 90-degree bend in the line to prevent that? Once I swear the lady was gonna try to climb up on the cereal box end cap she was so averse to anything but straight.

I had one thing. They were opening a new line and tapped the person in front of me that had already put half their huge load on the belt.

I went to the newly opened checker while dude in front of me was collecting his stuff to move it over.

Checker rudely tells me the guy is first, so we wait. Could have been done with me before that guy got his shit together and kid corralled in the new line.

I was annoyed.

[Danno]

once your shit is on the belt, you are legally prohibited from switching lines. it's like a rule and shit.

[skaredshtles]

travel in the olden days was much easier imo

You mean on a wagon train?

[muted]

There's this dystopian feel to real life vs. the simulation [screen time on laptop, desktop, phone, TV] where the latter is curated to our specific tastes and the former is dramatically less so. And so the entrenched sense of entitlement that accompanies strong engagement with the simulated life manifests in extreme displeasure with real life, particularly when a situation deviates from our selfish prescriptions. But the problem is rooted in allowing ourselves to conflate relative degrees of control between the simulation (where our level of control is extremely high) and real life (where it's much more muted). The contrasting level of power/control breeds internal conflict via the "WTF WHY AREN'T PEOPLE DOING WHAT I WANT THEM TO DO" line of thought. When in reality, the problem is letting your simulation mindset carry over without actively adjusting expectations.

In reality, most people who have moved out of their parent's house have bigger issues than this. They may have wives with cancer, kids on drugs, financial troubles, and a shitload of other things you and I have no idea about. Sometimes all their shit bubbles to the top and they may take out it on some poor lass not paying attention. Or maybe it's decades of watching people not fucking figuring out how A SIMPLE LINE works and you blow your lid. (That would be me, maybe Bunion too, who knows.)

You might want to spend less time in front of a computer if you have to actively adjust expectations going from yer house to the car wash, bro. I don't think everyone expects Amazon 1-click ordering experiences, and if they do, fuk 'em.

[XXX-er]

From the collective: Out of line on my part?

Well ask yerself what the dude would say to a buncha water wasting car wash nazi's get'n all border collie?

smoke a J and comment ... whatever man

the dude abides eh?

[snoqpass]

Probably better things to worry about than which bay someone waits for.... like when the gas station is busy and fuckers leave their car at the pump when they are done then go inside to load on 10 hour old hot case food and other stuff

[RShea]

but he was so ticked at me for having the audacity to bring it up, that he acted like he needed to rest his hand on the credit card terminal that allows us to like...pay and move on, and allow the line to proceed</serenity now>

I was running in to grab 4 or maybe 5 things at Grocery a few weeks ago. I was in the 15 items or less express lane and did not even have a cart or basket even. The guy behind me had one of the smaller mini carts. He pushed his cart up after I put up the divider for him to get his items on the belt. Then I stepped up to the area to pack my tote as the cashier was checking and weighting the stuff. I could not get back to the payment terminal because this guy was right at the register and his cart in front. My comment to him and the cashier was "He must be paying for my groceries also" (since he was at the credit pin pad and his cart was blocking me from stepping back to the pin pad.... He got the hint and moved back really quick (or else I would have had to maybe pay it forward if he really did pay for my small items....)

[old goat]

Shopping at the grocery store is a great enlightening experience, mixing people of all economic and social classes, except for the folks who have maids and others to shop for them or have the coin to have food delivered--at least it's that way where I shop--wealthy skiers and the people who clean houses, plow snow, and pound nails. (A few years ago the people in the wealthiest subdivision tried to get a private line at Safeway but they were turned down.) Anyway--time spent in a supermarket observing how clueless people are about a very simple task will explain to you why this country is fucked up. (Just watch me at the self-checkout, although I'm convinced it's the checkout, not me. I don't have any trouble at HD.)

[Djongo Unchained]

Just home from trying to wash my Truck at the local coin op. Nice day after a week of mud etc.

I pull into the car wash and all 3 bays are full, no surprise. There is a cargo van in front of me pulled up toward the middle bay, in my opinion he is waiting for whichever bay opens next because he was there before me. I pull in behind him.

About 5 minutes later an SUV pulls in and starts to line up at one of the occupied bays, probably the next one to open but who can tell.

I have to admit I lost my shit and yelled "where the fuck do you think you are going"?

She rolls down her window and informs me that she is lining up for that Bay. I am pissed and say to the effect, "the guy in front of us is waiting for the next open bay, I am behind him and doing the same, maybe try waiting your turn".

She tells me to "calm down". I reply that "OK I am now calm, how about you wait your turn?" She then tells me I owe her an apology. I reply" I am sorry that you are so self absorbed that you can't wait your turn". I roll up my window, wait for the bay to open and ignore her.

From the collective: Out of line on my part?

My approach would have been a little different, but not much. I likely would not have initiated with that language for a woman, maybe a little more likely with a fella.
I try to tiptoe in then bring out the hammer if need be. Figuratively speaking. But I will flat out take it up a notch if they are not getting it.

This shit happens in the tramline all the time and you gotta start easy until they show their ignorance. Some just genuinely don't get it and then an explanation usually remedies the issue; not always though.

First I woulda figured out the van guys choice; I can't be livin on his decision making process. Prolly get out and just ask hey whats yer plan? If the line in is set up single file, its plain, but if it's open lanes then he must choose.

Our bays are different types - self wash, auto wash, etc. one will have a line yet others are empty. I could see her thinking you were waiting for a specific one. Or maybe that was not how it appeared, hard sayin'...

When you explained to her the status and her reply was to "calm down", well that woulda been the problem moment. I'm not comfortable with random fucks, in the middle of a debate/discussion, assessing my state of mind. For all she knew, this was the calmest you've ever been.

We talk about people having a gun handy. Assuming you can tell a stranger what to do and how to act, well, them's aggressive actions for some folk.
Crazy if she had pulled something on you instead...
An apology...Ha that would have calmed me a bit as I surely woulda laughed. Your reply was way better than Id'a come up with quick. Prolly just a GFY at that point, laughingly.

I like to say that " We are polite, but not terribly patient, here in Wyo."

[TBS]

Well done
I am quick to forgive transgressions like ^^^ when the offender is a child. And with adolescents I usually find subtle mocking to be effective.

Case in point - teenage girl was pushing her shopping cart down the aisle, head buried in her phone. I remained in position and let her run into me.

She looked up quite startled when she hit me. I smiled and said “situational awareness is important”. She turned really red, then recovered and gave me the “teenage girl harrumph” (fathers of girls know what I mean) before moving on. When I saw her later she wasn’t staring at her phone. Mission accomplished

[Bunion 2020]

Probably better things to worry about than which bay someone waits for.... like when the gas station is busy and fuckers leave their car at the pump when they are done then go inside to load on 10 hour old hot case food and other stuff

Guess it depends on the station. The one I fill up in has like 30 places to fuel and maybe 20 parking spots so it is very common to fuel, leave your truck at the pump and then go inside for your beer and Powerball tickets. I avoid the hot case.

[mtngirl79]

Guess it depends on the station. The one I fill up in has like 30 places to fuel and maybe 20 parking spots so it is very common to fuel, leave your truck at the pump and then go inside for your beer and Powerball tickets. I avoid the hot case.

Lots of gas stations dont have much parking, either.

[Lexi-Bell]

Expecting situational awareness from random strangers in a public place is a recipe for frustration.

When another motorist pulls a dumb move on the road I picture my own 16 year old behind the wheel.

It is much easier for me to write that out than practice it, but it is the goal. Plus guns, lots of dipshits pack heat.

[Dexter Rutecki]

So, first of all, apparently some of you guys would not survive the experience at my 'local' gas station (uptown in Manhattan--I never go there unless I'm on 'E') where at any busy time of day you have about a half-dozen cabs parked randomly around the pumps, all pumps full, and lines going both ways with cabs in between who often weren't even getting gas trying to move back out onto the street. No real lines, no order, pretty much chaos so no one ever worries about some real/imagined etiquette to all of it.

But I do occasionally stop at these larger gas stations with longer rows of pumps, where people will be lined up waiting, but two or three pumps down from the end there will be an unoccupied pump and the first person in line is either unaware or too fixated on the pump right in front of them to move forward to the empty pump. I typically just drive past the line and pull up to the empty pump--I have no idea why the first person in line doesn't do that, but I'm not going to leave a pump empty just because other people are too sleepy to figure it out. I am aware some people might consider it a dick move, but to me it just seems like a waste of everyone's time not to be more efficient.