The Vent Thread, reasonable or being an asshole?

**Bunion 2020** · 04-25-2019, 03:59 PM

Just home from trying to wash my Truck at the local coin op. Nice day after a week of mud etc.

I pull into the car wash and all 3 bays are full, no surprise. There is a cargo van in front of me pulled up toward the middle bay, in my opinion he is waiting for whichever bay opens next because he was there before me. I pull in behind him.

About 5 minutes later an SUV pulls in and starts to line up at one of the occupied bays, probably the next one to open but who can tell.

I have to admit I lost my shit and yelled "where the fuck do you think you are going"?

She rolls down her window and informs me that she is lining up for that Bay. I am pissed and say to the effect, "the guy in front of us is waiting for the next open bay, I am behind him and doing the same, maybe try waiting your turn".

She tells me to "calm down". I reply that "OK I am now calm, how about you wait your turn?" She then tells me I owe her an apology. I reply" I am sorry that you are so self absorbed that you can't wait your turn". I roll up my window, wait for the bay to open and ignore her.

From the collective: Out of line on my part?

**Woodsy** · 04-25-2019, 04:02 PM

you are in the right but handled it poorly
so reasonable asshole

**m2711c** · 04-25-2019, 04:06 PM

**KyleLanTheman** · 04-25-2019, 04:06 PM

Absolutely out of line. Can't expect other people to follow rules you make up. Sorry mang.

**mcski** · 04-25-2019, 04:10 PM

She probably knew she was cutting "the line," but you skipped the steps of innocently informing her of the situation before she responds w some bullshit at which point you can THEN sorta reasonably unload on her like you did out of the gate like a lunatic

**Kinnikinnick** · 04-25-2019, 04:11 PM

I hate those situations. Car washes and Costco gas station 2, 3 cars are obviously waiting for the next spot and someone always zooms around and waits for a specific line.

But it’s a fuck over or be fucked over world sometime.

Take the singles line while skiing with my buddies might be the same thing in a way.

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**PNWbrit** · 04-25-2019, 04:15 PM

That kind of stuff drives me batshit.

She probably is the type of person that drives past a queue of stopped traffic and expects to be let in from the wrong lane at the front to continue in her intended direction.. unabated in her entitlement bubble.

**Woodsy** · 04-25-2019, 04:19 PM

Originally Posted by PNWbrit

That kind of stuff drives me batshit.

She probably is the type of person that drives past a queue of stopped traffic and expects to be let in from the wrong lane at the front to continue in her intended direction.. unabated in her entitlement bubble.

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learn to merge dude

**mall walker** · 04-25-2019, 04:24 PM

Well I mean whether you're right or not you were obviously being an asshole, not that it's necessary unwarranted. But what's the norm with this situation? My car is always dirty so no clue about carwash etiquette. Around here for example there's a bar with 3 separate unofficial ordering "stations" and often there's a big line behind one of them (even though each "station" is staffed and there are multiple bartenders), I always walk up to the empty one, I figure fuck em if they can't pay attention. But if it's obviously a single line for multiple stations, like waiting at the self checkout at the grocery store, then it's another story entirely, and obviously cutting to wait behind a particular checkout station is absurd. Are there lane markings before the stalls to differentiate waiting zones? Might need some pics... also location is contextually important, eg this is probably egregiously rude on her part in a country town of 50k and egregiously reactionary on your part in say, downtown LA...

**iceman** · 04-25-2019, 04:27 PM

@Woodsieday: yeah but...95% of people don't know how to merge so they all think you're an asshole for doing it correctly and some of 'em can get fukkin belligerent. You don't want to be right, but shot.

**mall walker** · 04-25-2019, 04:28 PM

Originally Posted by iceman

@Woodsieday: yeah but...95% of people don't know how to merge so they all think you're an asshole for doing it correctly and some of 'em can get fukkin belligerent. You don't want to be right, but shot.

"bein right is not a bulletproof vest, freddy"

**iceman** · 04-25-2019, 04:28 PM

Originally Posted by m2711c

On point.

**Bunion 2020** · 04-25-2019, 04:31 PM

Thanks for the feedback.

Yes, I was out of line in the way I handled it and this is not the 1st time I have run across this particular behavior at this car wash.

Simple solution is not to go to that one anymore.

I have had 2 atomic cookies and will be much happier about the entire thing in about 30 minutes.

She was a fat bitch so she has that going for her.

**PNWbrit** · 04-25-2019, 04:31 PM

Originally Posted by Woodsy

learn to merge dude

That is not what I described.

Learn to read dude.

**Danno** · 04-25-2019, 04:35 PM

Originally Posted by Kinnikinnick

I hate those situations. Car washes and Costco gas station 2, 3 cars are obviously waiting for the next spot and someone always zooms around and waits for a specific line.

But it’s a fuck over or be fucked over world sometime.

Pretty much. As has been pointed out, you're not wrong Walter...

The problem is that some places, like a Costco station, are easy to queue up into one line. But many are not, so the gas station norm is actually what she is doing. Which makes it confusing. But given that there were in fact two cars in a single line, it should have been obvious to her and she was being obtuse. But it may not have been intentional, and if it wasn't, your call out was a little intense.

**adrenalated** · 04-25-2019, 04:39 PM

If everyone lined up in one line for all the bays around here, the line would block the street.
Queuing for individual bays is much more space efficient.
In your case the line for all stalls was probably obvious, so if there was enough space then she was being a bit rude. Though your single line system was flawed to begin with.

TL/DR I agree with mjongwhatever

**Tele 'til You're Smelly** · 04-25-2019, 04:42 PM

Originally Posted by PNWbrit

That is not what I described.

Learn to read dude.

but even if the left lane is stopped, you should drive to the front of the right lane if you can- better to use both lanes until the merge than to merge early. There's lots written about how it's more efficient, and you are supposed to.

At the car wash, they should provide a single lane to wait in for all bays- love when stores do that. But if they don't people should probably just line up at each bay- it does suck that there will be winners and losers from that system but it's just like the grocery store- you don't get to organize all the lines into one.

**PNWbrit** · 04-25-2019, 04:49 PM

Originally Posted by Tele 'til You're Smelly

but even if the left lane is stopped, you should drive to the front of the right lane if you can- better to use both lanes until the merge than to merge early. There's lots written about how it's more efficient, and you are supposed to.

This is still not the situation I described.

**LHutz Esq** · 04-25-2019, 05:08 PM

No - the line is for the bay not the wash.

This makes the game of which dude is closer to being done fun - plus there is always who will take longer-
- the van is bigger-but he looks like owner/operator- so he'll be fast. If he looks like he's paid by the hour - move along
- the shit box is more rust than car - should be quick- buuut he's brought his own detailing bucket and looks like he might camp out - move along
- the jack'd up bro dozzer with the "I heart my carbon footprint" sticker is muddy as fuk - this will take all day. Ohh - but he is just spraying down the hitch to apply a bigger set of truck nutz - he wants to keep that mud on all summer, he won't wash that shit off- its the only way his buds can tell he is core- 'cause he drove through mud that one time ------This, This right here is the line for you.

play wisely friends

**ill-advised strategy** · 04-25-2019, 05:10 PM

Curb Your Enthusiasm shit

**I've seen black diamonds!** · 04-25-2019, 05:18 PM

Regarding the fat lady skipping the line, I say fuck her and her ilk. Unless she was visiting from a country that doesn't really do lines, I'd say it's extremely unlikely she was unaware she was being a jerk. If there was just one car waiting she'd have an excuse. If there are two or more cars cued up, you go to the back of the fucking line. It's obvious

Yeah, Bunion could have been nicer, but I don't think he has much to apologize for. Calling people out that way is stressful though. And you run the risk of calling out someone unstable and armed.

A better thing to say might be, "Did you not see the line?" It's fine if you say this with a face that suggests you're contemplating slashing her tires, as long as you say it calmly. That would give her the opportunity to pretend it was accidental and she didn't know she was being a selfish asshole, but it would also convey to her that you are perfectly willing to escalate.

The trick is to let someone know they're being a prick without calling them a prick, while also indicating that your next move will be to call them a prick in a way that will be extremely embarrassing for everyone present. If it turns out you've encountered someone who is willing to escalate it's just not worth it.

I've gone to the next level plenty of times (some of us are wired that way unfortunately), and almost always wished I'd held back. I'm getting better with age, or maybe because I can sense my wife's disapproval even when she's not there.

**mall walker** · 04-25-2019, 05:24 PM

Originally Posted by I've seen black diamonds!

Unless she was visiting from a country that doesn't really do lines,

this is my new excuse when I don't want to wait in line

"oh, vat? vat ees thees?"

**BmillsSkier** · 04-25-2019, 05:25 PM

I saw a similar situation devolve into a fistfight at the queue for the bank of self checkout registers at Kroger one night.

It was awesome and terrifying all at once. You didn’t know if someone was going to pull out a gun or what. I thought better of it and decided Publix was getting my cilantro and lime business that night.

**BCMtnHound** · 04-25-2019, 05:29 PM

There’s only a 3-bay here, and one bay is usually down. I never visit if I am in a rush. And we have industrial logging vehicles using it as well, so be prepared to wait or go do something else. Sunday at 10am is a very civilized time.
Love hitting the bigger facilities in the city. You drive in to a covered building and are directed to the next available stall; if all are full, then the building entrance doesn’t even grant entry until one frees up.
Outside of the freezing seasons, I try as often as possible to do a waterless wash at home these days.

**oftpiste** · 04-25-2019, 05:32 PM

Different etiquettes for different situations, though not waiting your turn is offensive. The car wash is a funny one. I usually wait for a bay, but it usually seems like that's what everyone is doing given the configuration of access.

That said, people who live by the "rules don't apply to me" axiom deserve all the assholishness there is.