as good as it gets aka new parent / self mid life - sage mag advice needed!

[AK47bp]

Or vape pens. You get in and out quickly and muy pequeno smell.

Yea those work great too. The edibles last longer though, carry you through.

And in case of a medical emergency I only smoke schwag.

[Sirshredalot]

Heh. Getting 'wasted' as a parent. That doesn't happen anymore. Shit can go south in a heartbeat and you need to be on point enough to deal with it. Recent example: 11:30PM. Mrs. is asleep and I'm fucking around on the internet and drinking, just about to turn in. 9 y.o. walks into the living room, says she's having trouble sleeping and her stomac.... HWARRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFF. Projectile vomits about a half gallon of barf all over the living room as I'm shouting at her to get to the bathroom and go puke there. She hasn't puked since she was 3 and doesn't remember what it was like. I'm running around the house now trying to get the puke up off of the floor, rug, stereo and TV while taking care of a kid and keeping my dog from eating all of it. Maybe I should have let the dog eat it, but then I'd be dealing with dog barf at 1:00AM. Get her back to bed eventually and spend an hour cleaning up the living room.

Too drunk to drive? Sure. But wasted? No. You gotta be functional, or have someone else on watch at all times. Besides, once you have kids you will realize that having a kid + a hangover is the worst combination of things in the history of man. That shit is what I'd expect the 7th ot 8th circle of hell to be like.

Also: beer is for people with time. Parents don't have time for beer. Drink your drink straight or on the rocks.

Oh God, no. No kid + hangover scenario. No thank you. Firm pass.

And it's fucking sneaky. You're older. You probably don't have the tolerance or metabolism you did at 22. I'm good for a hangover at like 3 strong drinks these days. Youve got to quit a drink earlier than you think you need to if you're getting the 6 AM preschool wake-up call.

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[SumJongGuy]

Full disclosure. I smoked and drank most of the day, every day through college and grad school and managed to stay out of trouble for the most part. I partied almost every day well in to my 30s. It's all good until you have kids... or until you're tired of being that old wasted dude you used to laugh at when you were younger. Not saying anyone has to go straight edge with kids. You can still smoke and drink every day and be a great parent. Just not a good idea to get "shitfaced" as mentioned when your kids are around... Not a single good reason do be shitfaced around your children regardless of their age. 2-3 drinks and a couple puffs, no big deal. Hard drinking and wheelchair weed not so much..

[oftpiste]

Having 3 bull-headed boys is akin to a daily beat down.

People would ask me what it was like to have three boys. The best description I could concoct was to ask if they'd every been to the zoo to see the grizzly cubs when they form a ball of three and roll around laying waste to everything in their path.

[kathleenturneroverdrive]

What's "no bueno" is being even the least bit impaired when you're supervising young kids.

Damnit. This guy I quoted was way more fun to mess with than the reasonable guy posting above

[SumJongGuy]

Fortunately, when bad shit happens, your adrenaline straightens you up quite a bit if you're not too wasted to start with. Single folks can relate just by the way seeing the cop lights coming up behind you can shock you straight. When your kid or spouse is in trouble and you have to step up to handle things that adrenaline flows even stronger.

[RootSkier]

SomeFuckinJong comes full circle on one page. Well done.

Edit: two pages, nevertheless...

[BCMtnHound]

FWIW, after 3 month of the EASY cycle, my wife and I were able to bike and ski (XC) with our little lady quite well. It wasn’t until she was about 4 that she was mobile enough to not enjoy being dragged behind in the chariot, but was too slow and easily distracted to allow us to set a proper exercise pace. Our girl will be 7 this fall and is starting to pick up speed (or is it her aging parents are slowing down) enough that we are getting back on track. But it definitely took a few years of trial, error, and sacrifice to allow either of us our needed rec time. My job and volunteerism allows a bit more aerobic activity, so most of the extracurricular rec consideration went to my nurse wife. She is still hot for my slight ‘Dad bod’, and supported her keeping fit and trim. Win-win!
But I do have some catch-up to do, which only gets harder I’m told in the 5th decade and beyond.

[SumJongGuy]

Damnit. This guy I quoted was way more fun to mess with than the reasonable guy posting above

SomeFuckinJong comes full circle on one page. Well done.

Edit: two pages, nevertheless...

All boils down to if you're going to do it, do it responsibly. Don't be too shitfaced to drive or deal with cops because you can suddenly find yourself in that situation and as a parent the stakes are a lot higher. Not cool to get shitfaced with kids around even if your spouse isn't.

[stapes]

Besides, once you have kids you will realize that having a kid + a hangover is the worst combination of things in the history of man. That shit is what I'd expect the 7th ot 8th circle of hell to be like.

THIS^^^^

[kathleenturneroverdrive]

Deleted my post. I’m a non/light drinker that can’t take more preaching from Jong

[Timberridge]

I'm fascinated by the nature vs. nurture thing with parenting. One of the guys I played baseball with in college grew up with a single drug addict mom, and had a step sister who was a prostitute. He was the nicest guy, graduated college, got a great job after graduation.

I know parents who are great people and the kids are jerks, and vice versa. I figure I'm just gonna play it safe and not do weird or illegal stuff in front of my kid.

[skaredshtles]

ok ok ok
this isn’t the get drunk and post thread
the dads here kinda get the don’t get so
shitfaced you can’t take care of the kids

This.

You gotta admit, though - it's kinda funny to see Pastor SJG get way up there on his pulpit and judge the fuck out of everybody.

[kathleenturneroverdrive]

This.

You gotta admit, though - it's kinda funny to see Pastor SJG get way up there on his pulpit and judge the fuck out of everybody.

Clearly you’re driving drunk with your kids in the car on the way to the hospital right now

[AK47bp]

I keep narcan in my glove box in case I gotta sober up quick when the meteor hits.

Always ready.

[skaredshtles]

Clearly you’re driving drunk with your kids in the car on the way to the hospital right now

I'm actually shitfaced in a Lyft with the afflicted wife next to me... on the way to teh hospital. 'Cause I'm a RESPONSIBLE day-drinker.

[Doremite]

ok ok ok
this isn’t the get drunk and post thread
the dads here kinda get the don’t get so
shitfaced you can’t take care of the kids

+1

That said I believe my children have driven me to drink more often but also mandated more reasonable volume consumption per occurrence. Beer is awesome and helps improve my mood and enjoyment around the kids. ... or just helps me indulge in some relaxed downtime once they are asleep.

I get I’m not supposed to get shit canned and drive them around or get black out smashed and pass out on the floor by their monitor.

[muted]

Don't parent on ambien then, my wife won't fucking wake up to anything with that shit.

[zion zig zag]

my children have driven me to drink .

Me too. Way cheaper than an Uber.

[Doremite]

^Ha! Can’t wait until my kids are that helpful. Now they can just slosh milk all over the floor as they “help” clear the table.

[k2skier112]

Life does not change when you get married, it changes when you have kids. You are now the lowest priority in the household, but with the highest expectations. if you are at all self centered, or you screw up your job, you will have all the time in the world to go skiing after the divorce.

Don’t ask me how I know.


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Wait until your kid tells you to fuck off like mine did at dinner the other night.


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Karma?

This explains your attitude and opinions of your posts

Op, you are now responsible for a human life besides your own. It can be tough at first, by highly rewarding later

[SumJongGuy]

I'll never forget one time before our 2 year old could really even talk he knew that cleaning up the room could get him something sweet. He came in to the living room and waved for me to come to the nursery he shared with the baby. Went in there and the round plastic toy bin tub was completely buried with toys and trash and a bunch of other shit but the rest of the room looked great. I laughed so hard, then got him some candy.

[cycology1]

Again, great thread and thanks for sharing personal info. a lot of great stories and strategies!

In fact, ive been out the past 3 days (road bike 2 hours Thur, backcounty snowmobile day Friday with a group, and then a mtb trip to Salida yesterday). Each day, i made sure the reciprocate the time for the wife. The fam came with to Salida and walked around for a couple hours shopping, then lunch along the river...win win all the way around.

seems like common sense now, but really thought it was not cool to keep getting out. learned otherwise.

this thread should be referenced for all to be dads/athletes...

[Doremite]

Again, great thread and thanks for sharing personal info. a lot of great stories and strategies!

In fact, ive been out the past 3 days (road bike 2 hours Thur, backcounty snowmobile day Friday with a group, and then a mtb trip to Salida yesterday). Each day, i made sure the reciprocate the time for the wife. The fam came with to Salida and walked around for a couple hours shopping, then lunch along the river...win win all the way around.

seems like common sense now, but really thought it was not cool to keep getting out. learned otherwise.

this thread should be referenced for all to be dads/athletes...

Right on! Glad this thread is a motivator. Different world for sure but a fun one if you can accept and appreciate its confines.

[Cono Este]

Can't believe no one has said this yet, but just wait until you have more than one. Then it really gets fuckin hard to do shit.

Or two at the same time like I did.

Twins will break the average man.


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