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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
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    It's Full of Stars....
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    2,094

    My friend, classmate, and fellow firefighter........

    Shot and killed himself last night. He leaves behind a wife and two children. None of us had any idea the issues/ demons he was dealing with, and we are all just devastated. Anyone who is struggling with mental health issues, especially fellow public safety workers, please reach out to someone, anyone, for help. RIP Maddog, you broke the mold and will be missed......58.
    What we have here is an intelligence failure. You may be familiar with staring directly at that when shaving. .
    -Ottime

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Sandy, Utah
    Posts
    11,259
    Vibes......
    http://www.firsttracksonline.com

    I wish i could be like SkiFishBum

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    inpdx
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    11,815
    sorry to hear that
    peace to you & your friend's family

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Down by the river, Terrace, BC
    Posts
    3,071
    So shitty. Condolences to you, and sorry for the family who have to go on after such a horrible thing.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    PRB
    Posts
    21,268
    fuck that's rough. Peace and condolences to you.
    "fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
    "She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    STL
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    8,601
    Knarlly. Vibes.




    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    In a parallel universe
    Posts
    4,349

    My friend, classmate, and fellow firefighter........

    Very sad, I'm sorry for your loss, condolences.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    Before
    Posts
    20,110
    Condolences.
    Merde De Glace On the Freak When Ski
    >>>200 cm Black Bamboo Sidewalled DPS Lotus 120 : Best Skis Ever <<<

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    Mostly the Elks, mostly.
    Posts
    347
    Oh man, brutal.
    So sorry for the loss.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    EWA
    Posts
    14,623
    Kindness is a bridge between all people

    Dunkiní Donuts Worker Dances With Customer Who Has Autism

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    553
    Fuck - so sorry to hear that

    Strength to you and your hall.

    Take care of yourself and your brothers and sisters.


    ...edit

    I have been speaking to a lot of folks about this lately. Maybe this more a condolences/vibes thread .. I don't know. Maybe its too early, but I suck at shutting up - so I will put this here- because if not now then when?

    Firefighters - professional , volunteer, structural, wildland - none of them are superman.

    More die of suicide than on the line -

    https://www.forbes.com/sites/nicolef.../#9311e692a243

    The study says that 37% have contemplated suicide. I think it is higher and I have no problem saying that I have been in that % - whatever it is.

    So, if you know a firefighter - know that they are at risk. No matter what they appear to be on the outside.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    crown of the continent
    Posts
    13,950
    So sad to hear. Emergency responders bear a load that is hard to imagine unless you've done it. It does seem to be slowly getting some attention. Hats off to you and your department through this rough time.
    Something about the wrinkle in your forehead tells me there's a fit about to get thrown
    And I never hear a single word you say when you tell me not to have my fun
    It's the same old shit that I ain't gonna take off anyone.
    and I never had a shortage of people tryin' to warn me about the dangers I pose to myself.

    Patterson Hood of the DBT's

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Access to Granlibakken
    Posts
    7,102
    Condolences

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Location
    It's Full of Stars....
    Posts
    2,094
    Quote Originally Posted by LHutz Esq View Post
    Fuck - so sorry to hear that

    Strength to you and your hall.

    Take care of yourself and your brothers and sisters.


    ...edit

    I have been speaking to a lot of folks about this lately. Maybe this more a condolences/vibes thread .. I don't know. Maybe its too early, but I suck at shutting up - so I will put this here- because if not now then when?

    Firefighters - professional , volunteer, structural, wildland - none of them are superman.

    More die of suicide than on the line -

    https://www.forbes.com/sites/nicolef.../#9311e692a243

    The study says that 37% have contemplated suicide. I think it is higher and I have no problem saying that I have been in that % - whatever it is.

    So, if you know a firefighter - know that they are at risk. No matter what they appear to be on the outside.
    Thank you and well fucking said.....
    What we have here is an intelligence failure. You may be familiar with staring directly at that when shaving. .
    -Ottime

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    one of those gaper mountain towns
    Posts
    2,962
    Very sorry to hear. I'm sure every one of my dispatchers carry scars, and that's through the buffer of phones and radios. We try to have resources available is someone is struggling, but not everyone is comfortable sharing their burden, probably assuming everyone is too busy with their own.

    Really sad when someone who's livelihood revolves around helping others apparently can't bring those resources to bear to help themselves. 3 of my current crew are volunteer firefighters. Something else for me to keep in mind going forward.
    Quote Originally Posted by ilovetoskiatalta View Post
    Dude its losers like you that give ski bums a bad rap.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    11,623
    First of all, peace and strength to his wife, children, and friends.

    Secondly, I was chatting with a full time firefighter friend of mine the other day, who pretty much summed it up as: "they'll let us go to work stressed out, sleep deprived, and fully hammered, but if we take one toke on a off day to relax, we're fucked. I wish their priorities would change."

    Food for thought.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Shuswap Highlands
    Posts
    2,336
    Sorry to hear of your friendís end. Condolences to you and the friends and family of the victim.

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    29,890
    Condolences.
    Quote Originally Posted by Downbound Train View Post
    And there will come a day when our ancestors look back...........

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Ogden
    Posts
    5,573
    Sorry to hear, your department has a lot of healing to do now. Keep an eye on everyone and call a CISD.

    Almost 6 years ago now I came on shift and chatted with the off going crew. Talked with the tail boarder for a bit about life and asked him how his divorce was going. 30 minutes later he shot himself in the chest in a parking lot. His own department ran the call. Fuck, still jumbled thoughts about it to this day.

    Stay strong, pm me if needed.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    6,264
    I'm so very sorry for your loss of a friend, and for his survivors a father and husband. Very tragic.
    Quote Originally Posted by Foggy_Goggles View Post
    If I lived in WA, Oft would be my realtor. Seriously.

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Behind the Potato Curtain
    Posts
    3,363
    Sorry for your loss brother. Anything I can do for you PM as well.

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    STL
    Posts
    8,601
    Always reach out for help first, but likewise, watch for the warning signs in friends and family. I know itís hard when you donít live near someone or see them a lot, but if they start acting weird open up your heart and home if you can.

    I recently learnt a college friend did the same and I regret not returning the last call I got from him. He was the founder of successful outdoor clothing company and I would have never thought.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Location
    It's Full of Stars....
    Posts
    2,094
    Thanks to everyone for your kind words..... I just met with his immediate family, and it was .......it was horrific. This has been a very difficult week for our department. In the last five days, our crews have responded to a five year old, eight year old, and one year old traumatic arrests, two at the hands of their parents. Please send vibes to all of the first responders in your communities, and to the Mags here who are on the Job, I will reach out soon.....Peace.
    What we have here is an intelligence failure. You may be familiar with staring directly at that when shaving. .
    -Ottime

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Behind the Potato Curtain
    Posts
    3,363
    Quote Originally Posted by seano732 View Post
    Thanks to everyone for your kind words..... I just met with his immediate family, and it was .......it was horrific. This has been a very difficult week for our department. In the last five days, our crews have responded to a five year old, eight year old, and one year old traumatic arrests, two at the hands of their parents. Please send vibes to all of the first responders in your communities, and to the Mags here who are on the Job, I will reach out soon.....Peace.

    Shit that's as rough as it gets. I'm going to hug my crew tomorrow, we ran a tough code last set, I'm really proud of the effort my guys put into it despite the outcome, this is a good reminder to check in on them.

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Wa wa..tatic
    Posts
    3,143
    Seano, man, I’m so sorry for your loss. I just want to put this resource out there if you or your brothers/sisters don’t know about it
    https://www.iaffrecoverycenter.com/

    We’re affected at a much higher rate by suicide, depression, and other mental health issues, a lot of times stemming directly from job-related PTSD. Luckily, within the last few years, the stigma has statred lifting and it is now ok, to admit that you are not ok. The IAFF center (for firefighters ONLY) just celebrated their 2nd year anniversary, is in a setting designed to make firefighters feel more comfortable and better able to receive the help offered. I personally know several guys who have gone to the C.o.E and changed their lives. PM me for more info if you want.

    Don’t suffer in silence brother. There s nothing tough or manly about it. In fact, it’s killing us, so let’s work to keep changing the culture and maybe save some of our own lives. There are more resources available to us than there have ever been in the past, so take advantage of them. In the meantime, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your department, and especially the family of your friend. Truly one of the worst things in life to go through.

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