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  1. #26
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    Mar 2006
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    14,815
    Quote Originally Posted by fastfred View Post
    65 an hr plus an ounce of weed and I coulda done it,
    That is a bargain. I pay a Croatian guy $400-500 pd for general carpentry and masonry. Worth every penny.

  2. #27
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    Wet and Mild
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    4,640
    Yeah, decent finish carpenters around here are making double that an hour, if not a bit more.
    Doesn't mean that much to me, to mean that much to you.

  3. #28
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    3,780
    This is hilarious. I can bring a camera and a sledge hammer over if you have beer.

  4. #29
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    May 2009
    Location
    inpdx
    Posts
    11,782
    have FIL committed to a managed care facility
    the signs are there

  5. #30
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    your vacation
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    1,673
    hopefully there was lead paint on the old mantel too
    plus that fake 60's rock around your fireplace probably had asbestos in it
    throw in some fiberglass for fun
    maybe some mold from the leak in your fireplace flue
    and silica for a good measure
    formaldehyde in the plywood

    nothing to worry about

  6. #31
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    Among Greatness All Around
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    5,171
    Quote Originally Posted by mcski View Post
    Does your wife's name happen to be Coach? That's the only plausible explanation for this debacle


    Now pls confiscate all of your FiL's tools and lock them up. For the sake of future generations
    FIFY

  7. #32
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    águila
    Posts
    980
    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	56255594145__A80DA4BD-30D1-4018-88BD-A78CF55E13EC.jpg 
Views:	98 
Size:	1.12 MB 
ID:	272870

  8. #33
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    Nov 2007
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    águila
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    980
    Click image for larger version. 

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Views:	100 
Size:	1.27 MB 
ID:	272871

    Here's the old mantel. Previous photo is tung oil coat in the garage.

    I forgot the kicker. I got home Sunday night from CB (which was powder fucking bonkers) and they've been cleaning all day and running an air purifier. On the back of the purifier, there's a giant sticker, "Before first use, plastic wrapper must be removed from the filter." I tilt it over, twist it open to expose the filter, and sure as shit...

    You guys are stupid and dumb and funny. This was my dear diary last night cause I was fucking pissed and wrote a fricking novel. Didn't think anyone would bother, let alone 2 pages. I should print out this thread and hang it on the mantel.

  9. #34
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    The Cone of Uncertainty
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    46,859
    Quote Originally Posted by 4matic View Post
    That is a bargain. I pay a Croatian guy $400-500 pd for general carpentry and masonry.
    Well the Croats are in high demand.

  10. #35
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    PRB
    Posts
    21,123
    Finally. The goddamn mantel. Except not the goddamn mantel, mounted, which is the important part.
    "fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
    "She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin

  11. #36
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    águila
    Posts
    980
    Since you guys will read anything:
    Tonight, we hosted a mantel warming party. Almost entirely because, while in Crested Butte, I figured it'd be a nice thing to bring take-n-bake pizza home from the Secret Stash. And that part was a good idea. But I figured it would bring peace to the wife, show no hard feelings w father-in-law and "thanks" for his time, and invite over my wife's sister, her husband and their 2 kids.

    Bro in law snapped his ankle playing hockey 2 weeks ago, broken ankle and torn ligaments. Poor guy, had to hurt like a bitch, he was pretty depressed. His wife was fucking pissed at him too (maybe these girls just got stars outta alignment or something), because their 2 and 4 year old are a handful even when you can chase em around. He had it wrapped up for a few days, then surgery last week. They're dog lovers, especially love our rambunctious lovable puppy that's like 75 pounds now. Their old dog died while sister-in-law was pregnant with #1 and they never got another dog - big part of our planning of getting a puppy last summer so he'll hopefully be a well-trained, settled down dog by the time baby arrives and our old dog SLOWS down. So I offer B-I-L pup as an emotional therapy dog apres surgery and he agrees he'll take him in.

    So day after his surgery (our house is disaster zone at this point - unhealthy for dogs to hang in), I tell my wife to drop the dogs off at their house. Bro-in-law goes upstairs for a nap and pup jumps up on him and snuggles in, in a super lovable way, but hit his ankle and sister-in-law loses her shit. I work with her - that's how I got the intro to baby's momma. She gets back to work and is on the verge of tears, about to explode. I work and stuff. After work, she goes home, holding her 2 year old in her arms, OPENS the front door and our damn dog runs out to chase a dog across the street. She's got no shoes on, running after our little fucker, while holding her little fucker and he's running away playing a game and she's flipping shit. Finally gets him by his collar, and he does his bucking bronco, thrashing her arms. Tore 4 deep slashes through her fancy ass (not really, Stoic brand, but definitely stylish and nice) knee length down jacket. So she's pissed at me. My wife's pissed at me. F-I-L is in his own world. Dogs are good. Bro-in-law thinks its all funny. I can't find the same coat anywhere, the tag is for a men's medium and the number brings up a men's rain jacket, and it's clearly a women's fashionable winter jacket (estimate $200). I've tried asking her what fucking jacket she wants, because my dog destroyed it, and she just says its OK, but she's obviously pissed and hasn't talked to me all week (we usually chat a ton since we're coworkers, in-laws and hang out w their family a ton).

    They all came over for pizza tonight. It was mostly good. We all observed how shitty the mantel was together. Father-in-law kept brainstorming what he was going to do and I repeatedly, firmly insisted that it is my project and I will take it from here. I still fear I'll come home from work and find that our house has become another construction site and the beam's been further fucked up. Fuck.

    Last thing that pisses me off...why are photos such a pain in the ass w this site now? And wtf is a HEIC file (photo of beam hanging and grinded wall)?

  12. #37
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    The Cone of Uncertainty
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    46,859
    we'll read almost anything.

  13. #38
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    seatown
    Posts
    3,235
    i would go back to CB

    not gettin laid either way

  14. #39
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Norcal
    Posts
    341
    Tips up, this thread delivers. Stoke is stoke and i am glad you are seeing the fun in this and hopefully find a resolution. Thanks for sharing.

  15. #40
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    380
    How much for the pine box mantel? That shit is dope!
    "You're young and you got your health, what do you want with a job?"

  16. #41
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    1,317
    Did your 12 year old nephew make that first mantle in shop class ? He should stick to making bongs.

  17. #42
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    Among Greatness All Around
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    5,171
    Quote Originally Posted by Crusty View Post
    How much for the pine box mantel? That shit is dope!
    Should tung oil that pine box mantle up and distress it some and call it good.

  18. #43
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    your vacation
    Posts
    1,673
    I"m trying to figure out if this thread is really about a mantel or is something you should be discussing with your therapist

    on another note, I can't belive you have to look at that rock work every day, 1988 doesn't even being to describe it, at least it's not red sand stone, have your father in law tear off all the rock today while you are at work
    just start over

  19. #44
    Join Date
    Sep 2018
    Posts
    792
    Dude I keep wanting to laugh but we’ve all been there. My FIL is a contractor.

    What time should everyone come over for the group hug?

  20. #45
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    YetiMan
    Posts
    10,724
    Put this on while FIL and you work on cleanup:



    Subtle message delivered!


  21. #46
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    Wet and Mild
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    4,640
    There's no way in hell a combustible mantle can be hung that close to the firebox. One word: pyrolysis.
    Doesn't mean that much to me, to mean that much to you.

  22. #47
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    Jan 2010
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    your vacation
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    Quote Originally Posted by glademaster View Post
    There's no way in hell a combustible mantle can be hung that close to the firebox.

    ][/URL]
    the building inspector caught that one, nice job

    yeah, rule of thumb is 16 inches from top of fireplace opening to bottom of mantel
    there are spec's on that it, depends on how far the mantel sticks out, they don't care if it was doused in highly flamible lacquer though

  23. #48
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    Nov 2004
    Location
    YetiMan
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    10,724

  24. #49
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Fort Front Range
    Posts
    1,481
    Quote Originally Posted by ill-advised strategy View Post
    ILLEGAL MANTEL!!!!

    Not a bad name for a band.
    In with the 9.

  25. #50
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    YetiMan
    Posts
    10,724
    Quote Originally Posted by berko View Post
    Not a bad name for a band.
    First album: 16 inches of heat

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