I really, really like to be left alone...

[Obstruction]

[Marshall Tucker]

The wife had a few of her relatives over last night. I don't mind them, but jezus h christ. Those girls get together and it's like this goddamn fire hydrant of words. i never understood the need to just talk and talk and talk. In full disclosure, though, no hallucinagins.

[Benny Profane]

Maybe just partake in the hallucinogens and keep us posted?

No, this sounds like a case for heroin or heavy opiates.

[Buster Highmen]

I'm not so much a loner as I'm just somewhat selective.

[ACH]

This has potential... stay tuned...

This, and an ongoing live feed TR?

Vibes mang....

[The Tortoise]

Feel your pain. I am about to spend 5 of the next 6 days hanging out with my in-laws and their extended family. Probably 50 of them in total. Love them individually, as group they can fuck off. Fortunately my oldest's racing schedule will get me to the hill for most of it.

Love people, hate gatherings.

[stapes]

I know the chicks, and yes, eye candy will be on display. A few of them are also very into hallucinogens, and several are planning to spend the night. Could get interesting...

I have a bar full of gin and rye.

What seems to be the issue here exactly?!?

[Benny Profane]

Not much family at this age and divorce reduces that, too. A few years ago I decided to be more social and stop hating Christmas (well, its not that I hate it, but, just cant wait for it to go away) and embrace the girlfriend's family. Bought some presents, put on my best casual clothes, plastered a smile on the face, followed rule #1, No Politics in conversation. Sat down for dinner, and, wtf, everyone wolfs down their food and just gets up and leaves the table after twenty minutes to play with toys or stare at devices. Thats when I said, fuck this, no more. That, and the marathon present unwrapping everyone did in front of everyone else. That I find gross.

[Foggy_Goggles]

I not sure if you are talking about "I don't want to do that" or a "Social Anxiety Disorder". If the later, I feel your pain. The holidays are the worst. It can be debilitating and really wear you out. For those that don't think it's real, fuck off. For me, it is worse in situations with people I know a little bit but are not my friends. Symptoms can include:

Rapid heartbeat
Muscle tension
Dizziness and lightheadedness
Stomach trouble and diarrhea
Inability to catch breath
“Out-of-body” sensation

So, just a reminder to all you social butterflies that can't understand how somebody wouldn't like laughing and joking and drinking at a holiday party...for some of us it is daunting.

[ACH]

I not sure if you are talking about "I don't want to do that" or a "Social Anxiety Disorder". If you later, I feel your pain. The holidays are the worst. It can be debilitating and really wear you out. For those that don't think it's real, fuck off. For me, it is worse in situations with people I know a little bit but are not by friends. Symptoms can include:

Rapid heartbeat
Muscle tension
Dizziness and lightheadedness
Stomach trouble and diarrhea
Inability to catch breath
“Out-of-body” sensation

So, just a reminder to all you social butterflies that can't understand how somebody wouldn't like laughing and joking and drinking at a holiday part...for some of us it is daunting.

Not sure if you were referring to my post or not but I completely understand. -h- goes through this every season, all I can say is thank dog for skiing and the p00ches. Anecdotally, it appears that quitting the alcohol'z has helped her considerably, YMMV.

[Foggy_Goggles]

Nope, nobody in particular. I just find in frustratingly interesting how unaware and unsympathetic most people are to many real common mental health challenges. I am more self confident and less embarrassed about it than i use to be. As such, I am more willing to talk about it.

I try not to drink to excess and never as a coping mechanism. Dogs, exercise, and my wife and friends are the biggest help.

[bagtagley]

I can relate, FG. It’s gotten worse with age, though that could also be because I drink a lot less in social situations than I used to. Regardless, I want to be social, but find it very overwhelming, particularly in unfamiliar company. I also don’t talk sports or news. I’m okay if I can find a skier or biker to relate, but I’m otherwise terrible at relating. I’ve had that out of body sensation which I think in my case is an attempt to escape, often because I’m standing alone in a room full of chatting people desperately searching for a familiar face.

It’s not a given, but familiar company is usually easier, and I do better in situations where partaking in larger quantities is acceptable. With weed, I find that once I’m over the initial anxiety of being social, it’s a pretty effective social lubricant. Being social has to be deliberate though. That’s where the booze comes in. Booze tones down the anxiety and weed makes the discussion more interesting.

[mtngirl79]

Quitting cigarettes made it way worse for me because I lost my escape mechanism.

[riser4]

Proper order is get plastered then smile. Don't plaster on a smile first.

[Meadow Skipper]

I can do these get-together things more-or-less comfortably for a couple hours, three max. Then I’m looking for an out, more-or-less desperately. I’m kind of known for suddenly disappearing from gatherings.

Cocaine used to help back in the day, but who does that anymore?

[El Chupacabra]

I don't like gatherings where I don't know many or most of the people - going to "networking" events is brutal. What helps me most for drumming up a conversation with people I don't really know is to ask them about themselves - people like to talk about themselves, and it keeps me from having to come up with other stuff to keep the conversation going.

If there's some event or holiday coming up, I can usually steer the conversation that way, and it avoids the landmines of politics and religion.

Where it gets dangerous is when I get bored in keeping the conversation going...

[Self Jupiter]

Is there an activity you can focus on? Cooking / DJ / bartender?

[Timberridge]

Maybe just partake in the hallucinogens and keep us posted?

Just don't eat the snowman cookies if you're planning to drive in the next 4-6 hrs.

[plugboots]

OP needs a buddy or two to come on over and hang with him for the event.


Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

[MakersTeleMark]

Strip poker seems fitting.

[LegoSkier]

I used to hate holiday gatherings but ever since i started going to Burning Man, I have less of a problem. I can always find a connection to a "This one time at Burning Man..." story and use that to steer the conversation to where I really want it to go, which is Japanese rope bondage, electrical play, and fisting. It has only turned awkward a couple of times.

[Meadow Skipper]

Strip poker seems fitting.

I like this. Suggest it, and either get excused from the gathering or be winning af. Either way.

[Buster Highmen]

Strip poker seems fitting.

yeah, but we're ugly

[highangle]

So, just a reminder to all you social butterflies that can't understand how somebody wouldn't like laughing and joking and drinking at a holiday party...for some of us it is daunting.

You know you have a large measure of control over everyone you encounter in a social setting, right? And that they have their own anxieties and are at some level working to present their best face to you, so you think well of them, right? And that the world is full of good people, going around looking for ways to be nice, right? ...



"The only difference between you and the victim is your attitude when you enter the water." -- Coast Guard Rescue Swimmer maxim

[mtngirl79]

Is there an activity you can focus on? Cooking / DJ / bartender?

Finding a task is super helpful