School me: Living and working in Gurgaon India for 6 months

[MarcusBrody]

I've spent a decent amount of time in India, though none there and I've only been to Delhi once (for more than a pass through).

I disagree with most people in the thread. Unless your wife is really against it, I'd take the family. Start building up the idea in the kids mind that the world isn't the United States.

Life will actually be very comfortable in a lot of ways. You'll likely have a house cleaner and cook. Ask for recs for childcare from your company. That can be a bit tricky as child raising customs are different, but there is everything from standard pre-schools to fairly affordable nanny-style minders, but youi'd of course want recs as it's hard to judge as an outsider.

Life will be really annoying in other ways. Traffic will likely be bad. The gap between the haves and the have-nots will be super acute. Looking at air quality maps, Gurgaon seems better than Delhi proper for air quality, but it's likely worse than most of the US. When you're there matters though. This is about the peak of bad air as Diwali has just happened and a lot of fields will be burned. Lots of small things are just kind of annoying. Things take forever and when they happen, you should really supervise the people doing the work. Gurgaon sounds like a unique city (it's essentially a mega-corp colony), so things might be a bit different from the rest of the country.

I have spent more time in the Himalayas north of Delhi. All last summer actually with a 2 year old in tow. It's a pretty spectacular region, though it's character really depends on the time of year. If you decide to go, I'm happy to give you some recommendations for Himachal Pradesh/Kashmir/Ladakh. I've only been in either place in the summer though.

[Dave Minion]

I've been to Noida, Delhi area quite a few times for business.
Don't take the kids they're too young, leave them and wife at home, they won't enjoy it. Delhi is quite boring, just bad traffic and pollution everywhere. Good thing is you're right next to the main airport and flights around India are cheap. Sri Lanka is also a great place to visit. Indians will want to practice their English with you, that can be a pain, but they're are not hostile at all, just like an open discourse

Stick to veggie food and lose a few pounds, Veggie Balti's are double cooked so that's my go to on short trips. DO NOT DRINK ANY MILK OR 'HOMEMADE' YOGURT. When I have avoided milk I've been fine, if not Delhi belly is real. The cows wander around eating rubbish by the side of the road, then ruminate it. Cheese and processed yogurt is ok.

Do not drive in India, if you are in an accident they will a. not help you and b. blame you as the foreigner. Get a driver or taxi everywhere, they're really cheap and if you tip well will be at your beck and call.

Offer to do a reccy to India first to see how you like it, and tell us truly, are you working for the Indian spammers from years ago? Are they paying you well?

[Cono Este]

Brings lots of Imodium


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[TBS]

OP, Sounds like this is some sort of IT project? How much of the overall scope of work is supposed to be done by locals vs expats?

In my experience with two contract programming firms in India, the local talent will not tell you when they don't know how to execute aspects of the project scope, and they certainly are not innovative problem solvers. All the good ones are already here on H1Bs. The locals WERE great at dodging accountability for results - weekly scrums were like an exercise in kidney stone removal - without anesthesia.

Not sure how much of the project's success and your career you want to put at risk for this.

Oh yea, and bring a shipping container of wet wipes with you. You can make a boatload reselling to expats

[SB]

Are your monkey vaccinations up to date?

[dan_pdx]

Have you been there OP?

I'd do a visit first and then make your decision.

If it's only 3 month project why stay 6?

Go by yourself and visit home once a month. Maybe bang a few Bollywood hotties.

Yup, definitely this -- maybe minus the Bollywood hotties. I was in India for the first time a few years ago. I've traveled a lot in SE Asia, including big cities like Bangkok and HK and some cycle touring that got me to pretty remote / thinly populated areas, and I thought that I was ready for anything India could throw at me. I was wrong...it is a pretty stressful damn place to spend time, especially if you'll be in a big city. I would want the full expat package - car and driver (seriously, driving there sucks), condo with security, international school (if your 6 year old is in school?). It sucks to say it, but being insulated from everyday life in India will likely make the experience a lot more palatable for your family, and probably for you as well.

[dan_pdx]

Have you been there OP?

I'd do a visit first and then make your decision.

If it's only 3 month project why stay 6?

Go by yourself and visit home once a month. Maybe bang a few Bollywood hotties.

Yup, definitely this -- visit first. I was in India for the first time a few years ago. I've traveled a lot in SE Asia, including big cities like Bangkok and HK and some cycle touring that got me to pretty remote / thinly populated areas, and I thought that I was ready for anything India could throw at me. I was wrong...it is a pretty stressful damn place to spend time, especially if you'll be in a big city. I would want the full expat package - car and driver (seriously, driving there sucks), condo with security, international school (if your 6 year old is in school?). It sucks to say it, but being insulated from everyday life in India will likely make the experience a lot more palatable for your family, and probably for you as well.

[dunfree]

Delhi is quite boring

compared to what? and where do you go? it's pretty damn cool in lots of places - if you like cultural sites as a tourist, if you don't have to go anywhere on time, and if you are willing to escape the westerner bubble. It's india, it's stinky, dirty, chaotic. or it was. I wouldn't want to relocate there on business or for business, it'd be an entirely different experience.

no problems with milk or yogurt - but don't ever touch buffets

[Skidog]

ha, I'd totally have to figure out what the widely available reliable 4x4 is, and get one as soon as I arrive. Weekend excursions could be epic. (as much as I hate the word since Vail adopted it)

Bringing your tools?

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[AK47bp]

I've spent a few weeks next door in Bangladesh, place is an absolute shithole and I would never take my wife and toddler. India is nicer and has more westerners and money so that area may be better The constant begging gets old. People will just stop what they are doing and stare directly at you. Never forget when I pulled into the Pan Pacific in Dhaka there was a truck with a young boy hog tied in the front front seat crying. I had my translator ask the truck owner guy what the fuck was going on and why he had a child tied to his truck. Apparent he was trying to steal rice to feed his family. I made the asshole release the kid and was like WTF! No big deal to him, just another day. Not sure what he was planning on doing.

Different world.

[basinbeater]

Pay is ok. Ill get my us salary. It is part of an internal talent rotation program. So getting picked for the program in and of itself is good. All project work would be internal, few contractors, mainly proprietary employees.
Starting to lean towards not taking family, which means I would have to decide how I feel about being away from the family for an extended period. That would be a drag.

sent from some fucking device using some fucking program.

[irul&ublo]

You will smell like curry for months after your return

[irul&ublo]

Are your monkey vaccinations up to date?

I think the monkeys there use condoms

[MarcusBrody]

I've been to Noida, Delhi area quite a few times for business.
Don't take the kids they're too young, leave them and wife at home, they won't enjoy it. Delhi is quite boring, just bad traffic and pollution everywhere. Good thing is you're right next to the main airport and flights around India are cheap. Sri Lanka is also a great place to visit. Indians will want to practice their English with you, that can be a pain, but they're are not hostile at all, just like an open discourse

Stick to veggie food and lose a few pounds, Veggie Balti's are double cooked so that's my go to on short trips. DO NOT DRINK ANY MILK OR 'HOMEMADE' YOGURT. When I have avoided milk I've been fine, if not Delhi belly is real. The cows wander around eating rubbish by the side of the road, then ruminate it. Cheese and processed yogurt is ok.

Do not drive in India, if you are in an accident they will a. not help you and b. blame you as the foreigner. Get a driver or taxi everywhere, they're really cheap and if you tip well will be at your beck and call.

Offer to do a reccy to India first to see how you like it, and tell us truly, are you working for the Indian spammers from years ago? Are they paying you well?

I think the six year old is actually a perfect age to do something like this. Old enough to remember, young enough not to think things are too weird or prejudge things that are different too harshly. The three year old likely won't have too hard a time, but probably won't remember much either. It's less about having fun than getting to them before they are super set in their ways. It's the wife that I'd be worried about...

Good advice on the vegetarian food. I've never been seriously sick in India over maybe 9 trips for ~10 total months and I think that's largely because I'm somewhat careful with water and eat only vegetarian food. In a big city ,you'll have no trouble getting tetra pak milk, which is perfectly fine.

I've only driven a motorcycle in India and only in rural areas. I certainly wouldn't want to drive in urban India, but there is no reason to in urban areas. Get your company to hire a driver or just use services like Uber. I found it to be pretty quick and reliable in Delhi.

[wyeaster]

one of my kid's classmates just came back from 3 weeks in india and, among other things, the taj mahal. he was totally jacked at school today. we'd go.

[riser4]

I passed on an 18 month assignment to Bangalore back in 2010. Would have included time in other locations including Chennai. My wife still wonders what it would have been like.

[basinbeater]

no fuckin way i’d be takin the kids and wife
indiana yes, the real fuckin india, oh hell no

Indiana is not really on my list of places I would consider moving.

Wife is not to psyched on the India idea at all. I am not to psyched of the idea of being away from the family for 6-9 months. But I am very excited about the possibility of the whole mental reset you get in a foreign land.
This sucks.

[AK47bp]

Is this what's best for your family or are you being selfish?

Would that "I served in India for the same pay" box checked on your resume increase your future income enough to make this worth it?

Life's rough with a pissed wife.

[redacted user]

Certain articles make Mexico sound like a terrible place as well. I enjoy visiting there.

I work on a small team that visits most of the deloped/developing world. I love Mexico, Central America, Asia and even the Middle East. India is a different ball game. It terrifies us. I've never been, luckily. Everyone that has emerges with tales of street-shitting, yet friendly people, awful GI issues, terrifying infrastructure/logistics & oppressive heat. Seems like one of the few places in the world that causes physical and mental pain just to exist day to day.

[liv2ski]

Work for 3 months then have your wife fly your kids in for a 2-3 week instagram-worthy vacation. Otherwise the family aspect really would make it a miserable time for everyone but you.

This is a good suggestion or just leave the family at home in 1st World comfort and come back to see them once or twice while away is what I would shoot for.

[PNWbrit]

Indiana is not really on my list of places I would consider moving

Agree.

[Meathelmet]

Wife is not to psyched on the India idea at all. I am not to psyched of the idea of being away from the family for 6-9 months. But I am very excited about the possibility of the whole mental reset you get in a foreign land.
This sucks.

No direct experience of India so cant comment on that but have overheard from friends that have done business there that it is on its league of its own doing business wise.

But can comment from the sidelines on the "family and doing expat thingy". Have had several friends do it, from different standpoints.
Those that have had negative attitude to begin with (5), 4 ended up the shitcreeck without the paddle with terminated contracts and/or marriages.
The stresses on the significant others were just unsurmountable in the end. The one that survived was in the gulf area with a lot of other distractions/options but even they said that never again.

Even solid and sound families experience hardships, even when the projects go smoothly. And India+Projects going smoothly ≠.

What baffles me is that you say that the project is supposed to last 3 months yet you have to be "away from the family for 6-9 months".
Is it the nature of that project, like it is so vague to begin with? Sounds like a huge potential that you will be the fall guy when shit hits the fan?
Why on earth would your firm be primed to send a guy with no in depth knowledge of that market area & culture?
Sounds like they dont realise the risk/challenges to begin with or they dont give a toss, that they are merely testing if that market would be feasible?
Either way = huge risks for you with little benefit?

Just my 0.2€.

[basinbeater]

Project is 6 to 9 months. Not 3. Not sure where 3 came in.

sent from some fucking device using some fucking program.

[ate'em]

India is a rough place. I spend six months there when I was younger, and then I took the wife and kids (7,9,10) for three weeks last year. We've traveled plenty, love pretty much every we've been (SE asia, South America, etc). India is another thing all together.

India is a deeply fucked up place, from hygeine, to views on women/children, racial/religious intolerance, pollution, corruption, you name it.

I would never relocate my family there, they are just sitting ducks for all the food poisoning, sexual harassment, physical violence, pollution (it's beyond imagination), etc.

Stress is a minute to minute reality there. Everything is stressful, even when it shouldn't need to be. Like lining up for a train that is on schedule, where everyone has a reserved seat, and there are people literally stampeding over disabled elderly people to get on the train first. That's India.

They'd have to pay me a small fortune to live there for an extended period. Yes, there are amazing cultural sights, but good god, everything in between is pretty damn hard to stomach.

Good luck mate, maybe kissing ass for your corporation isn't worth losing your hair and your time with your little ones.

[Buke]

My experience in India is very limited but I did ride the train from Delhi to Dehradun and then took a taxi up to Musoorie almost 20 years ago. It's a reasonable trip to do on a Friday and then return on Monday. Mussoorie is a super cool little hill station town. You can see the Mountains from there. There are also some world class boarding schools there. I met Americans in Afghanistan who sent there kids to school there...

I have 3 little kids in the same age range as yours and I'd jump at a chance to go for 6-9 months with the family. There are some caveats though. Most important would be some assurance that my living standards were maintained. That wouldn't have been important before having kids but now it would be mandatory. If you've never been there then it's a little hard to understand why having a driver, a maid and a cook is so important but nothing is going to work like here. Things just don't work like they do here and having western standard housing plus someone to handle the grocery shopping, cooking, and cleaning will probably be essential to ensuring that your wife doesn't divorce you before the trip is over.

There's no way in hell that I would move to India without my wife and kids but each to their own I guess.