Isolation and loneliness: rampant social disease

[Buster Highmen]

This is all a surprise to me.

First that isolation is the #1 social health hazard according to the NIH.

Second, I just thought I was just too obtuse or abrasive for most people.

Third, that there hasn't been more denial.

Queue Neil Diamond, Song Blue? Don't blame me if it gets stuck in your head,

[Buster Highmen]

I wonder if he's gotten any sleep yet.

knocks it outta the pahk.

[yeahman]

ON a day to day basis I spend a lot of time alone. I work at home for a company based on the East Coast. Most of my best friends are still back in the Missoula area and I live two hours away in Helena. I really don't have any great friends in this town. But I make the effort to get together regularly with my Missoula friends to hunt, ski, raft, hike a peak, etc. It's funny because when I get together with them, they're like we see you more than we see XX who lives just a couple blocks away. So maybe being two hours away from them has been a motivating factor in getting together more often, I dunno.

Bottom line is you will never make friends like you had in high school and/or college. If you can hang onto those friends, do it, because they're the best friends you'll ever have. If you move far away from them, you're in for a somewhat lonely adulthood, I think.

[Buster Highmen]

Is it the mobility that's the major contributor to isolation? My age and THE age? Now get the fuck off my lawn.

[Pinner]

If people didn't suck so bad, I'd probably like more of them.

[Buster Highmen]

^ well, there is that.

Why the NIH results though relative to previous data?

[phatty]

Bottom line is you will never make friends like you had in high school and/or college. If you can hang onto those friends, do it, because they're the best friends you'll ever have. If you move far away from them, you're in for a somewhat lonely adulthood, I think.

This is the truth. I have made a couple good friends since then, but it's much harder. I try to send at least a text once a week just to check in. As unmanly as it is, I try to make sure they know how much I appreciate the friendship.

[babybear]

my mom was basically on her death bed living in rural VT
convinced her to move here into a sweet apt complex with a bunch of older folks. she was reluctant at first bc she had the notion of needing a house with acreage as being your "I've made it"
it has improved her life 1000x. they all text each other when they go out to smoke cigars and walks/ take care of each other's pets/chk on each other and such
I still go over to shovel them out (they needed me to come over once bc a plumber had come earlier and forgot to turn the water back on. My mom called saying "sorry to bother you but can you stop by after work. nobody is strong enough to turn the water back on. They rarely bug me for stuff so it almost cracks me up/tickles me to help them in this way
but it's a good social network when you get to the age where you dont want to go far
And of course you have to deal with some "klingons" as we joke about but if you just set firm boundaries about your space it seems to work out ok

[Buster Highmen]

my mom is a vegetable in FL. visiting her consists of howlfests and dealing with the caregivers. no fun.

[dunfree]

this is perhaps relevant to the modern condition of loneliness

Look around any city street and there we all are, with our heads down, walking past each other, unaware. I saw you in your car driving with your phone in your hand. I saw you at the playground looking at your phone while your child’s life passed you by. I saw you on your date, alone together.

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/mathonan/google-pixel-3-review-android

another decline is people playing music for each others. self-played music - of pretty much any instrument - is on a longterm decline. formal groups, informal groups, it's going down.

[babybear]

my mom is a vegetable in FL. visiting her consists of howlfests and dealing with the caregivers. no fun.

vibes. you break the cycle although oldie visits do suck

[Buster Highmen]

I finally got an iPhone; was using a sporadically functional flip phone for years. still am not orbsessed with it. prefer pc.

[babybear]

but hey I have also given up on needing to be insynch with people just bc they are your direct blood relatives

i like my fam but I love my friends (you f'ers included)

[Buster Highmen]

my functional direct blood relatives are teenagers.
where was it I read that anybody with teenagers should get a dog so at least someone is happy to see you when you get home.

I have kittens; they're a riot. they're on me when I come in.

I have a lot of acquaintances; friends seems to be a different level? I have a few who share dinner or contact from far flung f00.

[hikesalot]

I love bbear and I don't even remotely know you. But you are a finance gal and like outdoors. That is enough for me. But again, what's funny, is a lot of those types of gals don't have kids. Me and my kid struggles would be too much. LOL And I couldn't keep up with you in the outdoors. But hey, I love your contributions here.

[Viva]

If you're inviting an ex along on vacation, you're more than a little lonely.

I challenge that assertion. I'm still in touch with a parricular ex, like 17 years after.I dumped her. We have breakfast or dinner, or sometimes both, whenever I'm in Portland. Hell, I recently asked her if she's interested in the Andermatt thingy that Buster's setting up. Too bad she sucked at relationships worse than I.

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[hikesalot]

I agree - an ex isn't the worst person in the world for everyone. Maybe could be a great friend, but just not someone you'd live with forever. I have many friends I don't want to live with.

[Buster Highmen]

I challenge that assertion. I'm still in touch with a parricular ex, like 17 years after.I dumped her. We have breakfast or dinner, or sometimes both, whenever I'm in Portland. Hell, I recently asked her if she's interested in the Andermatt thingy that Buster's setting up. Too bad she sucked at relationships worse than I.

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she and I are not talking.

[babybear]

I agree - an ex isn't the worst person in the world for everyone. Maybe could be a great friend, but just not someone you'd live with forever. I have many friends I don't want to live with.

thanks sweetster and agree- going with an ex on a trip is far from the worst thing I have heard.
being good travelers together is not necessarily a physical thing. a good friend is just a good friend

[FLS]

this is perhaps relevant to the modern condition of loneliness



Look around any city street and there we all are, with our heads down, walking past each other, unaware. I saw you in your car driving with your phone in your hand. I saw you at the playground looking at your phone while your child’s life passed you by. I saw you on your date, alone together.




https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/mathonan/google-pixel-3-review-android

another decline is people playing music for each others. self-played music - of pretty much any instrument - is on a longterm decline. formal groups, informal groups, it's going down.

You sound like a lot of fun at parties.

[bushman]

Isolation and loneliness? As I've gone deaf I noticed its a part of life.

[Kinnikinnick]

Sitting in my car alone in an empty parking lot hitting the bowl.

Got therapy session later today.

I'm a misanthrope.

Ran into my surgeon at lunch today he wanted to talk I didn't. Didn't want him to know what I did alone on the bike this weekend. He'd be pissed.

I have too many employees.

Think I'm high now

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This is almost poetry. Could be a haiku with trimming down.


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[Viva]

she and I are not talking.

This is good- you might have been tempted to rip your ears off.

[fastfred]

This is almost poetry. Could be a haiku with trimming down.


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My editor split a couple years ago.

Been lost and alone ever since
She was good at crossword puzzles and making sense of my shit

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[Danno]

owens set it up blue at the start

I'm still blue, simply because that's the way TGR is supposed to look, because it always has. Anything else seems not right.